Stop me if you’ve heard this one:
A 70 year old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling. “I’ve never been better!” he boasted. “I’ve got an eighteen year old bride who’s pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?”
The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, “Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day went out in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun.”
The doctor continued, “So he was in the woods and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle.” “And do you know what happened?” the doctor queried.
Dumbfounded, the old man replied “No”.
The doctor continued, “The bear dropped dead in front of him!”
“That’s impossible!” exclaimed the old man.
“Someone else must have shot that bear.”
“That’s kind of what I’m getting at…” replied the doctor.
LOL. Here’d another one.
An old man goes into the confessional of a Catholic church and says, “Father, I’m 85 years old, and I’ve gotten four teenage girls pregnant.” The priest says, “That’s a serious sin and begins to assign the old man a penance. When it becomes clear that the old man has no idea what an “Our Father,” a “Hail Mary” or a decade of the rosary is, the priest becomes confused. “How, at 85, can a good Catholic like you not know these things?” asks the priest. The old man replies, “Father, I’m not Catholic, I’m Jewish.” “Then, why are you confessing to me?” asks the priest. “I’m not confessing to you,” says the old man. “I’m telling everyone who’ll listen me.”
Good one!