Another gem from Match.com: Sex and the single mom
Have you ever called a condom a “balloon” or introduced your latest date as “Uncle Mike” to a kid?…
Here are five things you can do to be a great mom… but also get some satisfaction.
I really love the image that accompanies this article.
Sorry, back to being a great mom. And like any great mom, you need to remove all pictures of your children from your bedroom:
All women deserve to have a bedroom that sets the mood — but that’s hard to do if it’s littered with your kids’ crayons or action figures. So, establish a rule with your children that your bedroom is a toy-free zone. And — this tip is going to break a few hearts — consider moving any framed photos of you, your kids and their dad to a more neutral zone in your pad like the living room or kitchen
And don’t forget, the revolving door works as an exit too. It’s all well and good for mommy to bring strange men home for sex, so long as they leave once they are done:
It’s 6 a.m. and your kids are waking up in an hour… only problem is, there’s a strange man sleeping peacefully in your bed, and no doubt your little tykes will freak if they see him. How can you get him to skedaddle without hurting his feelings?
All of this reminded me of a joke I saw.
That joke at the end is absolutely hilarious!
Another reason to avoid as much as possible single mothers. Reading this article it is clear the single mothers out there are still making the same mistakes.
I’ll take “The rapists” for 500, Alex!
I would never advise my son to date a single mom, but if he must, I would advise him to get to know her and the kids, and especially the kids’ dad, very well before even considering making any moves.
On the other hand, if you’re a player, I imagine the woman saying “We can do it, but you have to leave right away” is sort of the whole point in chasing such women. Great advice, Ann Landers!
Simply tragic. I’m so grateful that after my father left us, my single mom made the decision not to date until we were completely out of the house.
I don’t really understand the photo that accompanies the article. It looks like a happily married family–a father, mother & kids…but the article is about single moms getting action. Am I missing something here??
I was thinking the same thing as you, Dragnet.
Unless this the new stepfather Mommy snagged using the tips and advice provided in the article.
The picture also brought to mind a number of other cringe-worthy stereotypes that I’ll refrain from sharing.
Since the article is about mommy having strange men in her bed, I assumed the kids were invited to join her and “Uncle Mike”.
The photo makes sense if black women are more likely to be single moms.
Interesting, who knew that Roissy was writing for a wider audience under a pseudonym?
What I want to know (or maybe I don’t) is how it came to pass that the mom claimed condoms were balloons. I’m admittedly out of date on the topic, but as I recall you don’t open them until you are ready to use them. Are these mommies leaving used condoms around for their kids to find?
Dalrock, I’m guessing that the child(ren) found one or more of her unused condoms, opened one or more of the packages out of curiousity and played with them. Given a room with child(ren) waving condoms around, I can see a certain kind of person telling them to leave “Mommy’s special balloons” alone.
PS: If a boy found them, she likely caught him filling it up at the sink to make a really big water balloon…
[D: Good answer. I prefer to assume that is it.]
Well, better these single moms get married and form a two-parent family, than struggle on welfare.
It’s good that the mom is being sensitive to her kids while dating. I do wish single dads made the same effort!
“Think it’s impossible to raise kids on your own and also have a rockin’ love life?”
Isn’t one of the main reasons she is a single mom due to the fact that she doesn’t seem to have a problem in the ‘rockin’ love life’ department in the first place?
I can really only see this article applying to middle aged women who are newly divorced from a long marriage. But, aren’t their kids more than likely grown up/out of the house?
That picture is so idiotic, too. Classic case of the post-modern feminist “have your cake and eat it too” mentality. You can be a single mom without that ‘deadbeat’ in your life, AND the kids can have a father figure in the form of whatever newest one-night-stand happens to be around!
Particularly tragic is that it doesn’t talk about risk. My mother litigated child abuse cases for years, and she said that they almost all involved the mother’s boyfriend/new husband. Bringing a revolving door of strangers into contact with your children is just an obviously bad idea on so many levels.
Nice article, but it misses one big point, as did you Dalrock.
A good number of men date single mothers TO GET TO THE CHILDREN. Thus, it’s not the mom’s bedroom that should be accounted for, it’s the kid’s bedroom the guy passes on the way out the door you should be watching.
Since we’re anonymous here, how many of us know of cases where this happened? I know several — including one close relative who became the receptacle for her’ mom’s boyfriend’s “release” from ages 6-12.
The dirty secret that a lot of people don’t want to talk about is that just as a lot of parents get off on abusing their kids (it’s like a high to them), a lot of women get off on having their children molested. It’s not a matter of looking the other way; it’s a matter of creating drama for everyone, which women love.
I want to modify the last line of my previous post:
It’s not a matter of looking the other way; it’s a matter of creating drama for everyone, which seems endemic to a lot of single mothers who live a particular lifestyle (see “Teen Mom.”
That picture strikes me as a bit of subtle psychological propagandizing.
It aims to condition women to associate choice mommyhood and choice-mommies’ extramarital sexual dalliances with a happy, stable, nuclear family.
The whle goal is of course to make women feel better about the rotten choices they make…food for the hamster, I suppose.
Speaking of SNL, they did a skit about the revolving door to mommy’s bedroom. They covered everything except what happens to the kid when he gets older.
J;
“Better these moms get married and form a two-parent family than struggle on welfare”.
Better that these bitches didn’t run out on their husbands in the first place; or drop their panties and get knocked up by some dysfunctional thug.
“It’s good that moms are being sensitive to their kids while dating.”
Exactly. How else are they going to teach their kids that ‘all men are dogs’ unless they’re doing some punk in the bedroom right next to where the kids are?
“I do wish single dads would make the same effort.”
They do. You just never hear about them, because no real man would do what Match.com advocates. Since amerobitches only care about the kind of scummy men who would get it on with them in front of the kids; they get all the publicity too.
Don’t pillory me for this but I have some inside information regarding this issue. My ex girlfriend and my wife where both single moms. The one thing that I struck me in regards to children in this situation is how both sets of kids reacted to me. My wife’s kids where suspicious and ‘rightly so,’ whose this new guy and what does he want?’ My wife didn’t bring me into their lives for quite a while as we both agree that if we broke up it would be traumatic for them. There was another woman I happened to know who was also a single mother and in the same stich as my wife. They sat down and talked shop one day and I happen to know that this woman was also very careful in terms of who she brought home and when it was time to introduce her new beau. The interesting thing; her kids reacted just like my wife’s did, suspicious and clingy.
The reason why this hit me so hard was that years back, my exes kids didn’t react to my presence at all. They seemed comfortable, not disturbed whatsoever when my girlfriend brought me right into her room very shortly after we became an item.
I was very young and stupid at the time so I didn’t see the red flags all over the place so all I can say is that having a revolving door in your bedroom as a parent is foolish. The biggest thing; if a woman’s kids don’t have an issue with Uncle Jake sleeping over, then there have been many more uncles before you, jus sayin.
And yes, I’ve seen many more mothers do this than single fathers so J’s statement is woefully in error.
“A good number of men date single mothers TO GET TO THE CHILDREN. Thus, it’s not the mom’s bedroom that should be accounted for, it’s the kid’s bedroom the guy passes on the way out the door you should be watching.”
Very true which is why vetting men (and women if you are a single dad) is excruciatingly important. I respected my wife and this friend of mine because they took things extra slow. The reality is that it isn’t just you anymore, it’s those kids as well and I’ve also encountered horror stories where New Hubby or step dad crossed the line. Not Kewl.
“Simply tragic. I’m so grateful that after my father left us, my single mom made the decision not to date until we were completely out of the house.”
While I do think it a shame that some Mothers go this route, at the end of the day I cannot blame a single one of them for this choice. The risks are high indeed and there are men who are predators in this fashion.
Days of Broken Arrows:
You’ve touched on an important point that’s often overlooked by MRAs. Women are not only misandryist, they have the same negative attitudes towards children as well. Children are just as expendable to most women as men are; and also children are used
as vehicles to further selfish female interests. Women have no more qualms about abortion, child support, or child abandonment than they do about divorce, alimony, or infidelity.
This is an issue that really needs to be explored further in a lot of MRM thought.
D, you quoted the following line from match.com that bothers me tremendously:
…And where the given advice goes on to remedy precisely the opposite: i.e., how to keep one’s children from disrupting one’s own chosen lifestyle.
What is this path some have chosen in which one’s own children and family are viewed as an interruption or distraction getting in the way of a more fulfilling life?
We are royally f*cked.
@MNL
And where the given advice goes on to remedy precisely the opposite: i.e., how to keep one’s children from disrupting one’s own chosen lifestyle.
Spot on. Yet J/Janine tried to reframe it as mommy working hard to protect her kids. Nope.
Days: “Since we’re anonymous here, how many of us know of cases where this happened? I know several — including one close relative who became the receptacle for her’ mom’s boyfriend’s “release” from ages 6-12.”
Really? You know several cases of pedophilia? Where do you live, Porn Valley?
But seriously, the male has been demonized for simply being male, and this article doesn’t strike at the core of the issue, which is how exactly does a man protect himself from future false abuse allegations, considering the penchant feminist’s and their lackeys have for making the law up as they go along.
On the topic of the danger of stepfathers, I found this the other day: More on Why Stepfathers Kill Their Children
With this all being said, all I can remember is the craze back about ten years or so ago with single moms buying “Bumble-Balls” and posters of Jason David Frank in his “White Power Ranger” outfit.
“Daddy…mommy says that the White Ranger makes her wet and she won’t give me back my Bumble-Ball? I don’t understand why, daddy….”
This is sick.
Talk about justifying and normalizing antisocial behavior.
I guess all things are acceptable now. Welfare is just another form of income, like all others. Revolving bedroom doors for single moms is just another lifestyle choice, like all others. Fucking everything that moves is just another choice for men.
Damn. Civilization is going straight into the toilet.
Lovecraft: “But seriously, the male has been demonized for simply being male, and this article doesn’t strike at the core of the issue, which is how exactly does a man protect himself from future false abuse allegations, considering the penchant feminist’s and their lackeys have for making the law up as they go along.”
No. Feminists demonize men not because of men per se, but to excuse women for their own behavior. A small group of men molest kids. But because we can no longer call single mothers on letting such men into their kids’ lives, we now have to see all men as potential villains, so as to let women off the hook. Same goes for date rape or any other situation where women might put themselves in danger with the wrong men. Since women are now considered passive victims — and we can’t ever blame the victim — “all” men get blamed. The 99 percent of good men get blamed for the 1 percent, in other words.
This isn’t meant to let men who really abuse kids off the hook, but to shed light on how exactly such men get access to kids in the first place.
Given that users of “Match.com” are probably “not entitled to wear white at their wedding by a long shot”, or for that matter “not terribly likely to end up at the wedding altar to begin with”, should this surprise us? We’re not talking, after all, about a matchmaking service with at least a pretense of heading for the altar like “eHarmony.”
Regarding the picture, it wasn’t obvious to me that two of the people in it were kids. Cringing…..and cringing even more at the reality of a poorly chosen step-parent. Was it for no reason that the Grimm fairy tales talk so much of the evil step-mother? The young lady I took to prom many years ago referred to hers as her “step-monster.”
Damn brats… it’d be orgasms galore if it weren’t for those meddling kids! But, seriously, the you-go-girl! set finds ’em disposable before birth… or after.
“The opposite of a ‘Tiger Mother’: leaving your children behind,” by Lylah M. Alphonse, Shine, 4 Mar 11
http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/parenting/the-opposite-of-a-tiger-mother-leaving-your-children-behind-2460982/
Woman finds kids (3 and 5, plus hubby of 20 years) get the in way of her writing career, so she cuts ’em loose. She’s overseas doing research for a book, so “when her children came to visit, she had an epiphany: She didn’t want to be a full-time mother anymore. When she returned to New York, she ended her 20-year marriage and chose not to be her kids’ custodial parent.”
How’s that for gettin’ them little rugrats pictures outta the bedroom?
“Particularly tragic is that it doesn’t talk about risk. My mother litigated child abuse cases for years, and she said that they almost all involved the mother’s boyfriend/new husband. Bringing a revolving door of strangers into contact with your children is just an obviously bad idea on so many levels.”
Exactly the point I was going to make, and I’m glad someone beat me to it.
It’s good that the mom is being sensitive to her kids while dating. I do wish single dads made the same effort!
Dating eh? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?
The biggest thing; if a woman’s kids don’t have an issue with Uncle Jake sleeping over, then there have been many more uncles before you, jus sayin.
I don’t know about this – it depends on the kids. My oldest is worryingly open to new people while my youngest is the suspicious one. I’ve had ONE bf in the 5 years since my marriage ended (I didn’t date at all for the first 3 years) and kid 1 was all over him while kid 2 was suspicious and harder to win over. That’s not to say you might be right, but just that it does depend on the personalities of the kids to some extent.
This whole article is sick, damn. “Tips on how to pretend you don’t have kids so some random guys will feel more comfortable using you as a pump and dump.” What a blast!
Dalrock, haven’t seen in your anti match.com jihad a reference to their recently published “study” that young men were more romantic and interested in matrimony :
http://www.salon.com/life/feature/2011/02/03/singles/index.html
http://health.newsplurk.com/2011/02/men-are-now-from-venus-women-from-mars.html
True enough Thag, personalities do play a role in situations such as these. However, at the very least your younger one still was suspicious which I now realize is a good sign. As for my ex, (hoo boy, here it comes) she had three kids and not one of them blinked an eye when I came over at first.
Not one.
And, sad as it is to say now, we did some real hard no-no’s that children not used a new guy would ever accept. Like I said before, young and VERY dumb I was. As for my wife when where dating; both her kids where suspicious of me and we NEVER did anything like my ex and I did.
Looking back, I guess that if even one of my exes kids needed to be won over, it means that they aren’t used to seeing mommy with strange new men.
Omnipitron, I was thinking too that NO reaction is kind of weird unless the kids are used to a lot of people coming and going, as you say. NASMALT (not all single moms are like that, lol)! It really makes me cringe to read stuff like this – and this is supposed to be being sensitive to one’s children?! ::head desk::
I got into a scuffle a while back on Amy Alkon’s blog about some single mom where people were commenting on her “right” to shag the neighbour guy and not have her pesky son walk in on them. Why do people think they have a right to a shag as a single parent? Doesn’t the child have a right to grow up without the vision of his mom getting ploughed by the nasty guy next door?
All women deserve to have a bedroom that sets the mood
I’m also really sick to death of this kind of entitlement language. All women deserve..? No one “deserves” anything; whatever we have is given by the grace of someone else or by God Himself. Why do ALL women “deserve” this little luxury? What is this “sets the mood” bollocks anyway? I can only imagine it’s something designed to make her feel like less of a slut – y’know, instead of banging random guys in club bathrooms, she’s doing it in a nice room that “sets the mood” and gives the pretence of her being whoever she was before she had kids, so it’s different, right?
I suppose the only thing keeping her from doing the club bathroom thing is that she’d have to leave her kids unattended for that. Hey, that gives me an idea for their next bunch of tips – how to sneak out for a bit of slap and tickle without the kids waking up to notice you’re gone!
I’m also really sick to death of this kind of entitlement language. All women deserve..? No one “deserves” anything; whatever we have is given by the grace of someone else or by God Himself. Why do ALL women “deserve” this little luxury? What is this “sets the mood” bollocks anyway? I can only imagine it’s something designed to make her feel like less of a slut – y’know, instead of banging random guys in club bathrooms, she’s doing it in a nice room that “sets the mood”
HA HA HA HA!! Ain’t it the truth!
Gee, I love reading your stuff, Thag.. (You should post on your blog more often. 🙂 )
You tell it like it is and don’t pull any punches…
I can tell you what these women do deserve, though.
A good slap across the face, to wake the sluts up!.. shakes head…
No. Feminists demonize men not because of men per se, but to excuse women for their own behavior.
Eh? “All men are rapists and that’s all they are” doesn’t excuse women from anything, but it does clearly demonize men. Lather, rinse, repeat for “…are wife beaters…”, “…are child abusers…”, “…are sexual harassers”, etc. and etc.
So it seems to me that feminists demonize men both to excuse women’s bad behavior, and just for the sheer pleasure of the act. Rather like a toddler screaming and kicking a playmate, because she can and it feels good.
Something to remember when dealing with aging, childless, menopausal feminists who suddenly have decided to be less obnoxious: they were not always as they are now, and could revert to their older behavior at any time. Or to put it another way, feminists: You enjoyed yourselves tremendously in the past, it was a big emotional, egotistical rush to denounce men in so many ways. It warmed your cheeks.
Now when you are getting older, and lonelier, you can warm yourself with your memories. I hope that emotional thrill was worth it, because I’d walk across the street to avoid you…
Anyone else think that if these women put as much effort into sexytime with their husbands as match.com suggests they do with their sex buddies, er, I mean boyfriends, they might not wind up as “single” moms in the first place?
Badger: Yeah. Divorce is a lose-lose situation. For some part to get out neutral or on top, one or all the other parties have to lose everything or almost everything.
The incongruent picture that accompained the original article was clearly suggesting that one of the single mom’s conquests would eventually become the kids new stepdad.
*cringe*
The first step to solving a problem, whether it’s a flat tire or a bad personal situation, is to admit that there is a problem. Maybe I’m missing something, but I’m not seeing a whole lot of “I have a problem” in any of these bits of flotsam from match.com. Pretty much the opposite, in fact.
If “everyone else” has a problem with me, the first thing I should do is look in the mirror.
Badger:
Right on! But Amerobitches would prefer the kind of men who they troll up on sites like Match.com to men who would make decent husbands. If men would embargo the Amerobitch they could stop worrying about what these sluts do in their bedrooms.
No real man would want to be the kind of man that American women want.
It’s pointless to try and encourage American women to be better; it’s better for men to support one another in avoiding them. “Buy American” is sound economic, but disasterous relationship advice.
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