Back in April commenter PB was kind enough to bring the following Daily Mail article to my attention: I dated 50 men in six months (and STILL didn’t find love). In it choice addiction poster child Pippa Wright describes how she is consuming mass quantities of low level investment from men in a futile effort to compensate for the lack of true investment which only accompanies true commitment:
Please don’t judge me: I’m not a woman with loose morals. Like so many modern single women, I’m a multi-dater. I’m one of a new breed adopting a scattergun approach — packing as many men as possible into our diaries in an effort to find love.
In the past six months I have seen 50 men…
In many ways her story isn’t new. I previously shared the story of the post marital spinster blogger who went on over 100 first dates in just one year. That blogger hasn’t updated her site since August of last year, but since her site is still up I’m guessing she still hasn’t found the replacement for the husband she discarded in her early 20s. In another post I described yet another divorcée who went on 87 first dates in two years.
Miss Wright’s story is also very similar to Kate Bolick’s tale. Like Miss Bolick, Miss Wright never married and claims to be pushing forty. I say claims because her stated age of 38 doesn’t jive with the pictures in the article. Miss Wright can date as many men as she likes, but she still unfortunately looks like 20 miles of bad road. The carousel has been extremely unkind to her. Additionally her stated age of 38 also doesn’t fit with her description of her dating history. The only “boyfriend” she mentions having is an American man she hooked up with while drunk and dumped after 6 months twenty years ago. While it isn’t impossible that she would still be pining for the man she dumped at 18, it seems more likely that it was the man she dumped at 28.
At any rate, let Miss Wright serve as a cautionary tale for would be carousel riders. The time passes far faster than you know, and you can’t fill the void left by not having real commitment from a quality man by substituting volume of fleeting attention from men who will never be invested in you.
Her tale and the tales of other women should also be a caution to young men. Beware the looky-loos who will use your willingness to foot the cost of courtship against you. While women like this may not be the average, the sheer number of dates they go on means they will be very much over represented in the average dating man’s experience.
I don’t believe this is choice addiction so much as courtship addiction. A man who married a woman such as these would quickly become miserable, as he’d surely be expected to produce endless further courtship.
Very likely such women are commonly encountered in the online dating world.
She looks like a withered turd. Are those warts on her face?? Reminds me of that scene in Uncle Buck where John Candy tells the principal chick to get a rat in the alley to chew that wart off her face ahahahahaha.
She should be shamed into a cave filled with old female cats nearing expiry date.
The reality of a modern female divorcee is nothing like Eat Pray Love. Like so many women these likely misconstrue their fleeting short term hook-up value with the a long term meaningful commitment from a man.
Women have thoroughly deceived themselves into thinking that because *they* redefined slut that men must also ascribe to that definition too. While I feel bad for them, women need to recognize that the choice to ditch her man should be so compelling that they are willing to be alone or treated as a fk buddy and little else. Sure some get remarried and are happier but by and large no one wants another mans leftovers.
That’s why Marriage for centuries has been reserved for virgins. Hell guys are OK with even non-virgins but sheesh 50-100 men? Might as well marry a Thia hooker.
Packing as much dick as possible in to this pussy. I got 50 in here over the last 6 months. Don’t judge i’m not a slut I just want to keep riding this dick in a quest for love until I get to whaere i can only get maybe 1 or 2 dicks over a 6 month period and then I think I’m going to fall in love with that chump.
BTW that is how talk to a teen age daughter about love and romance.
I’m so glad I learned about game.
I was the guy who got rejected by all those types of women. Once I learned game I realized how to draw attraction. Books and blogs about game changed my life.
The first time I read F. Roger Devin’s material a light went on in my head. I always knew something was “wrong” but couldn’t quite put my finger on it. The manosphere analogy of The Matrix red/blue is dead on.
Speaking of choice (and/or courtship) addiction, remember my pal Beth? The one on husband #5, who isn’t really a slut because she married most of the men she slept with? She “friended” me on Facebook a couple of weeks ago; relationship status: separated. Putting out feelers for “girls night out” and taking potshots like,”What part of EX don’t they understand?” and posting pictures of “awesome” dinner guests. She’s still pretty at 48, but the wall is approaching.
britties are degenerate sods. Completely a lost cause.
To you Christian Folk – they are The Damned.
What is it with EVERY brittie chick being named “Pippa” now? Ohhh…that wedding thing.
Got it.
Still, females date 100 guys a year BECAUSE THEY CAN. In the past they used that
quaint old word
“restraint”
Today, that concept does NOT exist. Hence, your epidemic of sluts.
I’m not concerned about her age as I am about her two friends, ‘Wart’ & ‘Facial-Growth’.
There’s a lot to deconstruct from that article, but her claims that the British D/SMP is radically different from the American is just inaccurate. There are some obvious differences but there are far more similarities so her attempt to portray the British vis-a-vis American D/SMP is specious. The women over there behave in much as the same way as they do here in the US (and perhaps are even more promiscuous), have been fed the same sex-positive Feminist mantra of ‘You can have it all’ eg a fabulous career, lots of sex, and then a marriage and kids all starting within a six-month period just before they turn 30. The British University SMP isn’t all that different from their American Uni. SMP. The Church of England is just as soft on marriage and increasingly Feminized and Homosexed as the churches in the US. Divorce, alimony, custody, and paternity law are worse over there for men of course as is the quality of organization and intensity of Feminism, but the UK is as much a society in decline as the US. Last Summer’s riots across the UK didn’t just happen because some gangsta got shot, they were symptomatic of a more insidious, pervasive illnes of a debauched, defiled citizenry. Perhaps the only real difference between the US and UK is the rate and point of social decline. Not even two nations separated by a common language.
One sentence(among many) stood out;
“In the past six months I have seen 50 men, some lovely, some absolutely awful. And hand on heart, I swear none of the dates got beyond a casual peck on the cheek and an exchange of phone numbers.”
If Ms. Wright had met some “lovely” men, why didn’t she pursue them instead of having the dates end so promptly? The answer is obvious, she’d rather have a quantity of dating choices than investment and commitment into quality men.
There’s another reason for the constant dating – Miss Wright gets fed and entertained for free, while providing nothing in return. It only takes a date or two for Joe Clueless to figure it out, then on to the next sucker.
http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/date-food-women-seek-fancy-dinners/story?id=15107409#.T86pVdWGpvA
“Women have thoroughly deceived themselves into thinking that because *they* redefined slut that men must also ascribe to that definition too.”
What I find sad is that young women are so badly misinformed. They’re taught in every area of their lives that they should be “strong”, which seems to be a code word for “hyper-promiscuous”. Who is presenting a counter-slut argument to them? Not the church, by and large, at least not very effectively. Feminism has become almost exclusively about pushing a slut-based agenda. Here’s a little gem that proves my point.
https://waronwomen.com/RockTheSlutVote/
It makes me feel sad. Young women are destroying their lives without understanding what they are doing and there is no one to tell them so. If you click on the Who We Are tab and scroll through the pictures, you will see a photo of a boy who looks to be about three holding a sign that says, “My Mom’s a Slut!”
What?
There’s like, 4 billion blogs, churches, Self-Help Groups & Oprah Channels protecting them. Females like having sex and showing off the fact they have lots of it.
The problem is not the message or the messengers – it’s THE AUDIENCE.
Can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.
@Firepower
Exactly. The conclusion we simply have to come to–because we find no other choice–is that women are sinful, just like men. This is shocking to some, no doubt. But what other conclusion can one reach?
Women are victims of feminism, in the sense thst it has extremely negative affects on them. But they are willing victims. Eve chose to be deceived, and her daughters continue to choose it to this day. Deception is not morally neutral. One cannot be deceived unless one chooses to ignore the truth.
Indeed, the problem lies within the very scheme of an ignorance
that produces that shock – that women are as sinful as men.
That problem will exist for as long as every churchgoer is too frightened to even complain of this reality to their preacher, pastor or priest. You’ll never rise, while on your knees.
This article reminds me of my friend, at 22 a young carpenter asked her to marry him (good looking guy, muscular, 6’4, blonde intelligent), she declined because she wanted to do law in Queensland (she’s from Victoria). Well 16 years later (didn’t finish the course) she’s back living with her mum after riding the carousel, and carpenter dude is now a multi millionaire building constructor banging 18 year olds on the Dalmation coast.
When she comes over we sit on the back verandah and she reminisces over an iced Irish cream at what could have been.
Not sure it’s worth the effort to decipher that women’s motives and intentions. Since they are usually self evident. However, describing her behavior as an addiction, I find unhelpful. Addiction, it seems to me, implies the absence of self control. And dating many men can as easily indicate full control over one’s actions. In fact, she says she is looking for love. So, she has a plan, a direction, a method and a goal. I don’t believe she really means she is looking for ‘love’ in the sense of a committed, long term, deeply emotional and caring manner. Women don’t think like men. Men are romantic, women just pretend. I think she means love in the mercenary sense most women from day one have always meant it. Call it the nesting instinct if you want to be nice and not call a whore a whore. But, going through 50 men in a few months tells me she’s on a desperate mission to find a wallet before her allure is completely spent. Since she failed, I suppose it’s a safe bet she waited too long. It’s not complicated, it’s not an addiction, it’s just a slut trying to be a whore for some generous fool. Met one like that on Sunday night actually. Poor thing looked rough even through beer goggles.
@
Johnycomelately says:
June 5, 2012 at 9:34 pm
Hey Johny, I admit, I love stories like this.
My own sainted sis did something similar, she’s now stuck with a drunk loser, and Mr right, well, he’d a state senator…hahahahaha.
@ Twell
That article on the woman dating to get wined and dined made me laugh. Not because it was surprising, or anything I didn’t know happened. Just because she used a spreadsheet and one of the recent dating articles tore a guy apart for using a spread sheet for the women he dated.
Double standards. Gotta love them. Oh, unless they are in line with biologically proven facts that go against the ideas of feminism or hold women accountable for any actions. Then we hate them.
50 men in 6 months and complaining about not finding “twue wove”? One would think the answer is standing there, screaming in her face like a thick necked army sargeant in basic training.
Also, Cupid is depicted holding a bow and arrow for a reason, not a shotgun loaded with buckshot.
Lol…..”I’m not concerned about her age as I am about her two friends, ‘Wart’ & ‘Facial-Growth’.”
How this became news is simply amazing – it is nothing but a self aggrandized protagonist.
Give it time and the consequences will eventually swing the pendulum the other way – it always does. Just stay single and wait till the dust settles – the days of Western Women will be changing soon….
Pippa means “to fuck” in Swedish. True story.
You know someone enterprising enough could earn big bucks if they came up with some kind of program so that whenever certain terms/names are entered into Google’s image search it’d ask you if you REALLY want to see the results.
I’m having serious problems believing that Pippa dated five guys in six months time, let alone fifty.
I suppose that depends on how you identify dating. Is she meaning fledgling romance that went on for more than a few days? A single date? A single one night stand? It really depends on the criteria used and it seems that everyone uses a different measuring stick.
Thought I would share a story of this chick I know who had a rare moment of clarity. A few years younger than me, she was a pretty hardcore carousel rider throughout the the early parts of college. One day, she finally realized the dumbness of her actions, and pulled herself off.
Something I’d say only about 1-2% of girls my age are able to do.
At least that’s one less peter-pan sob story we’ll hear in ten years.
http://flyfreshandyoung.tumblr.com/post/24528513841/carousel-rider-recognizes-carousel-hops-off-early
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Pippa’s book is available for a miserable £6.99
^ 6.99 is a cheap price to learn a valuable life lesson.
But the lesson only works for people who can understand it from the example given.
@P Ray
Do I take it that your computer lacks one of these: £
Here is a supply for furture use ££££££££££££££££££
Here’s the question:
If you’ve just read this article, how likely are you to line up to be #51? What are the odds she would learn anything from the male population’s response to that question?
What is the likelihood that any (never mind all) of the unfortunate fifty men have themselves dated forty nine other women in the same period? That that is so unlikely reveals that Miss Wright is indulging her fantasies at the expense of the men and excercising her greater bargaining power (not withstanding her modest and aging looks). I really see little difference between what Miss Wright has done and what a woman does who goes out and sleeps with fifty guys to see if she can find a suitable lover. You wouldn’t believe that was what sucha person was about and I see no reason to believe that what Miss Wright is doing (assuming of course that I believed the story in the first place – can that person in the photo in the Thatcher-blue dress really be the author?) is genuinely interviewing for a husband. This is choice addiction, with the added thrill of being able to reject. This is not about love but about power – perhaps from someone too afraid of rejection.
…and it is not just low-level investment from the men; the amount of investment from Miss Wright is also low – and with no risk to herself. She asks us not to judge her as she is not a woman with loose morals. If she is not that then she must surely be a prick-tease, and I find that morally even worse than slutting – at least a slut is honest about herself – Miss Wright isn’t.
If she were genuinely seeking love, then why not join a traditional dating agency, where one is vetted and the proprietor attempts to sensibly match his female applicants to his suitable (and vetted ) male candidates? There is of course a financial cost involved for both applicants which guarantees fairly well the sincerity, genuiness (and financial solvency) of the applicant. To ask the question is surely to answer it.
Here’s the end-game of choice addiction for women:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2011/dec/15/dreams-of-a-life-film-review
50 men? 100 men? It may as well be 500 for an Alpha Widow.
She can’t find ‘love’ because none of the men she dates now can recreate the Alpha impact of the past for her sufficiently. This is the one commonality I read with every article (and they’re increasing) from a woman bemoaning their loveless mid-life – each is an Alpha Widow with at least one significant Alpha in their past who set the benchmark for her sifting through the haystack of men for that one elusive experience she’ll never recreate because she simply no longer has the goods to attract it.
https://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2012/01/06/the-slut-paradox/
That is more than two first dates a week. There could not have been any filter on who she was choosing to date. Her only activity during that time was dating, what a bore. What is she going to talk about? The guy she went out with two nights ago. She has to have an ego that would fill the Grand Canyon. She has got to be a dreadful narcissist.
Firepower
“The problem is not the message or the messengers – it’s THE AUDIENCE.
Can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.”
I agree with you that women are the primary problem here. This is why I think re-education is in order; my point was that most young women don’t hear the truth any place.
bskillet81
“One cannot be deceived unless one chooses to ignore the truth.”
But doesn’t one have to be exposed to the truth before one can rebel against or submit to it? Look, I was a feminist once upon a time. Why? Because I was a stupid, naive girl who only ever heard a feminist message. I knew it wasn’t working but I didn’t know why. When I was finally exposed to the truth (thanks in parts to blogs like this one, but also due to reading the actual words written in the Bible), my confusion cleared up.
Firepower
“That problem will exist for as long as every churchgoer is too frightened to even complain of this reality to their preacher, pastor or priest. You’ll never rise, while on your knees.”
Agreed. Whom shall we send and who shall go for us? Where is our anti-feminist Isaiah to the modern church?
“But doesn’t one have to be exposed to the truth before one can rebel against or submit to it? Look, I was a feminist once upon a time. Why? Because I was a stupid, naive girl who only ever heard a feminist message. I knew it wasn’t working but I didn’t know why”
AMEN.
Most females start out capable of comprehending reality, but that ability diminishes over years and years of constant exposure to (and internalization of) lies. I’ve been looking for the truth for decades so I was more than ready to accept it when I found it, but I didn’t even know this was the truth I sought. It never occurred to me that feminism (everybody should be treated equally under the law, right?) was killing society. I found the MRM entirely by accident; I started out reading cop blogs as research for a writing project, something to focus on when Lance Criminal left for boot camp. From reading comments and sidebars I gravitated to “rights blogs” (primarily guns and due process.) Although I had stumbled on a handful of men’s blogs, nothing really clicked until I started following Captain Capitalism’s links. After staggering around the internet for a year and a half, I found what I DIDN’T KNOW I’d been looking for! I’m 48 years old, and for the first time in my life, it all makes sense. Or more specifically, I understand why it doesn’t make sense. The truth about female accountability has been actively hidden for more than half a century. Most people don’t even know it exists, let alone what it is.
I’ve been a pretty good wife and mother, but not because I knew what I was doing. I give most of the credit to three fairly accidental circumstances:
* I was raised by good parents who couldn’t afford to spoil me, even if they were so inclined.
* I’m an introvert and never cultivated many female friends.
* I was lucky enough to meet a man who was not only “good,” but also strong and mature, right about the time I realized I didn’t want to marry the kind of men I had been dating.
I’d have to be an idiot to screw all that up!
I’ve said before there’s not a lot I can teach men, but I sure intend to expose as many young women as possible, to the reality of what’s ahead of them if they continue to follow the herd. They might not believe it yet, but at least they’ll know it exists. If I can help prevent even one young woman from destroying herself and EVERY MAN SHE ENCOUNTERS, it will be more than worth the social pressure I’m getting to STFU. (Then again, I’m used to people thinking I’m a little “off.”)
Suz:
“I’ve said before there’s not a lot I can teach men, but I sure intend to expose as many young women as possible, to the reality of what’s ahead of them if they continue to follow the herd. They might not believe it yet, but at least they’ll know it exists. If I can help prevent even one young woman from destroying herself and EVERY MAN SHE ENCOUNTERS, it will be more than worth the social pressure I’m getting to STFU.”
I’m with you! Let’s do it!
” (Then again, I’m used to people thinking I’m a little “off.”)”
Tell me about it. I need my husband to instruct me before social occasions with his ultra-liberal family…”Honey, you may talk about recipes and the children. You may not talk about repealing the 19th amendment nor the unbelievable kick on a S&W .460 caliber revolver.”
Sunshine – “You may not talk about repealing the 19th amendment nor the unbelievable kick on a S&W .460 caliber revolver.””
You carry/shoot a .460!?!?
Okay, I’m impressed.
You haven’t really described yourself, but I’m assuming that you’re not a big burly woman? I’ve seen a few videos of women firing guns that were clearly too big for them, and getting knocked on their asses. So, sorry to ask (I’m away too curious), is there a video available of you flying backwards after firing that cannon?
Yes, there seems to be an element of narcissism in her behavior. More significant perhaps is what it says about her attitude towards men. She obviously thinks very little of them, since she only spends a few minutes or hours with each one and then moves on. I guess for her, men are like a box of chocolates. Talk about objectification, eh?
slwerner “You carry/shoot a .460!?!?”
Heavens no! I’ve shot one ONCE in my entire life, and that was enough, but it made QUITE an impression on me as you can imagine. I had the opportunity to shoot it at Women on Target (an NRA event). I am 5’7″, so not too big, and I’m a runner but I’m not all that strong. I didn’t get thrown back much but after you fire it a wall of energy hits you in the face and clears your sinuses. Ouch! The guy it belonged to said he used it for big game hunting in Africa but later his buddy told me, “He just has it so that he can say he has the biggest one.” Which I thought was funny.
My carry pistol is a 9 mm, as any sensible woman would have. 😉
Funny. She’s waiting for an Alpha to come along, but if you look at her, she hit the wall 5-8 years ago pretty clearly. There isn’t going to be an Alpha, or even a strong Beta. They aren’t interested in retreads, and most of them are smart enough to get a sense that the woman they are dating is a user. The only way to do 50 dates in 6 months is to abuse the hell out of some internet dating firm’s male clients. I guess it beats having to buy your own food for dinner, though.
The inversion in morals among the slut-non-shamers is stunning. Slate.com ran a story the other day about Lolo Jones, the Olympic sprinter who is also a devout Christian and saving her virginity for her husband. She is very blunt and says a lot of relationships end about a minute after she explains her position. The comments, naturally, were just about universal in mocking her choice to hew to her morals. Meanwhile, Slate and its gaggle of feminists post up article after article attempting to remove the stigma of sluttiness. It’s interesting to see when a reader wades in with a comment to the effect that a well used cougar is not attractive but a super fit alpha girl who saves herself as a gift to her husband is, how many of the unter-Betas step up and say it’s irrelevant, they find well used-women perfectly wonderful. It’s almost impossible not to despair for young women who read this bullshit and believe it. It’s mostly published by carousel riders who have worn themselves out and whose hamsters are now steroided little monsters, trying to justify their actions and assauge their guilt and regrets. Then again, maybe they just hate young women. That would sure explain the feminism thing. Sad. And what a waste of lives.
Suz says:
“Most females start out capable of comprehending reality, but that ability diminishes over years and years of constant exposure to (and internalization of) lies. I’ve been looking for the truth for decades so I was more than ready to accept it when I found it, but I didn’t even know this was the truth I sought. It never occurred to me that feminism (everybody should be treated equally under the law, right?) was killing society.”
“I’m 48 years old, and for the first time in my life, it all makes sense. Or more specifically, I understand why it doesn’t make sense.”
Always love the way you word things, Suz. You seem to say just what is in my mind. I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one who wasn’t aware of what I was looking for when I first started looking.
“I’ve said before there’s not a lot I can teach men, but I sure intend to expose as many young women as possible, to the reality of what’s ahead of them if they continue to follow the herd. They might not believe it yet, but at least they’ll know it exists. If I can help prevent even one young woman from destroying herself and EVERY MAN SHE ENCOUNTERS, it will be more than worth the social pressure I’m getting to STFU. (Then again, I’m used to people thinking I’m a little “off.”)
This is what I’m trying to do now, especially with my youngest daughter. We taught all our children well growing up, but missed so much. Kind of wish we’d found the red pill alot sooner. She’s only eighteen but has been in college for the past two years and has gotten some ideas from others, and now goes to a different church for Bible study and getting even more different ideas. She still seems to hold some of the same ideals that her dad and I do but they now seem tweaked.
The one thing is that most of the guys she’s met so far that she has had an interest appear to be players (most are guys she works with and has seen a different side of). They are also guys that she has gotten to know quite well and they treat her with respect. When my son questioned one of them about his mixed signals toward his sister the guy replied that he was just looking to hook up right now and that he wouldn’t do that to her because she isn’t that type. Whew. But we still have alot of work ahead of us.
Sunshine says:
“My carry pistol is a 9 mm, as any sensible woman would have.”
Good for you. My husband got me a Lady Smith 38 special to carry.
Funny thing is that for alot of years I would have been against carrying. That is until a few years ago when reality began slapping me in the face. It’s amazing how much your perception changes when you actually open your eyes.
(I’m taking a defensive shooting class and getting my CCP this summer! Can’t wait!)
Jacquie, thanks for the compliment. Speaking of daughters, I’ve been grateful since Lance Criminal was born that he was a boy; I knew I’d be lost raising a girl. I wouldn’t want her to think or act like other girls, but I had no idea how I WOULD want her to think and act. Now that I’m too old, I think I have a clue. I do know that if LC ever marries, his wife is either going to adore me or avoid me like leprosy. *whispers* …and there might be granddaughters….
Suz
Outstanding, women are at their most influential directing the herd. I’m a 45 acp guy and my wife isn’t into “guns” until she is concerned about “somebody is outside the door” then she is glad i have it.
Suz says:
“Now that I’m too old, I think I have a clue. I do know that if LC ever marries, his wife is either going to adore me or avoid me like leprosy. *whispers*”
I’m there now with my son. He’s not married yet, but is talking about it with the girl he is with now. I’ve seen numerous red flags and have been vocal. Well, this doesn’t sit well with the girl and, although she is nice to my face, what we’ve heard back about what she has said about me to others (including my children) has not been nice. Interesting that she says the things about me and not my husband. Yeah, I’ve tried talking to her, the whole older women teaching the younger women thing and I didn’t get such a positive response from her. We’re trying to curb the talk of marriage until my son can see clearly.
Forgot to mention the girl is classic EAP.
If you look around you, and see everyone looking for an Isaiah – and cannot find him.
YOU are The Isaiah.
I have just been back to the Mail site and see that there now are comments and what’s more they have not been moderated. All, rather predictable – not exactly up to Dalrock commentor standard – but the one I like, suggested that you should not look for love as love finds you which is very true. They seem to think she is a bit desparate. These Mail articles always purport one thing but seem to imply something else.
Good on this Lolo sheila. I was a good catch on the marriage market and I would never have married a used woman. What is wrong with these men? Brainwashed by the slut culture, I suppose.
@David Collard
I think that one of the problems for my generation – no internet bloggers or MRA then – was this: ones parents grew up in a world where marriage was for life, where illegitimacy was rare, and thus growing up one never received, – why should one? – advice as to whom to avoid with a barge-pole. Men can easily be taken in by women and their sob-stories about heartless men, especially if they are seductive. At the same time, to meet a woman who has any interest in one on a serious basis, was in my experience as rare as hen’s teeth, and when they did there were (in hindsight) major red flags. In those circumstances it is easy to find oneself involved with the sort of person one should avoid. It of course may be me, but the quality of Sheila that I have come across in my life has been, frankly, fairly appalling.
No one for instance ever pointed out, as the bottom linked essay shows, that men bear all the costs of courting; Financially, Emotionally and Socially, and thus women needed to demonstrate some credentials before one embarked on romance. Sadly one does not ask for a C.V. or dating passport before commencing courting, and (not that I have ever tried it) the local dating agency will only try to white-wash its female applicants so as to show them as far more desirable than they ever could possibly be. I suspect I may have bad taste in women. The exciting ones are seriously bad news. I must have been a reasonably good catch but the way I was messed around one would never have guessed it.
I often find it useful to reverse the sexes to ascertain more clearly what is really going on:
Imagine; an article in the Mail, about a man who had embarked on fifty first dates in six months. One wonders where the man would have found those fifty women, but even if he had what would you make of it if he protested that he had not been intimate with any and protested that he still had still not found love. Would you assume he was asexual? Would you assume there was something seriously wrong with him so as not to entice any of those women? Perhaps he is homo-sexual, but then why date women at all?
Then there is the question of costs: Taxis, Food, Drink and doubtless other miscelleaneous expenses. A woman of course has no expense. Then there is the emotional cost, the constant disappointment, for men do not date merely to discuss, Philosophy, Politics or Sport. What would his friends make of his hopelessness. Then again there is the social cost: the possibility of false accusations; the gaining of a reputation for pursuing women pointlessly etc etc.
I have an old love letter from an ex gf who, and I quote, wrote of her teenage years, at which time she implies she was a virgin, ‘I was being pursued by many a fine young beau, none of whom I took seriously. I’ve always enjoyed a challenge but when the conquering was complete I lost interest’. Sounds a bit like Miss Wright.
I think none of those men had a shot.
She was on a mission to “Date 50 men in six months and didn’t find a guy worth sticking with.”
I’d wager the whole affair was a set up for an article.
@Opus
Good point. Inadvertently I set this up by placing this post following the one on hypergamy. Note the outrage that men would not feel the need to hold themselves to a more rigorous standard than the fundamental expectations of hookup culture. As Mrs Walsh tells us, the only structure to hooking up is that there are no strings attached, no expectations can be fairly had. And yet, men who play by the same rules as women are roundly cursed by Mrs. Walsh and assorted white knights as “exploitative”. In this case (Miss Wright, etc.) we have women clearly abusing a process which is designed to lead to relationships. There is of course some ambiguity, but I don’t think many would argue that what the women are doing is exploiting the good faith of the men. In this latter case, all I and other men are suggesting is that men should use better judgment and stop offering to foot the searching costs. Comparing it to the hookup scenario, it would be the equivalent to suggesting to women that they stop putting out in an effort to achieve a relationship. In both cases, the responses prove Rollo’s hypothesis of the female imperative.
@Dalrock
So Mrs Walsh tells us that the with hook-up, there are no strings attached. There seem to me to be two absolutely massive problems with that:
1. As Miss Wright and my ex gf – who was just an ordinary looking women – demonstrate; given the greater male desire and further given that it is the men who have to make the effort (approach, suggest, risk rejection etc) the comparative bargaining power of the two sexes is in compete disequilibrium. You, as a man, just cannot (as I was saying on a previous thread) approach a woman and suggest sex and expect anything less than a slap round then face and probably worse. (The same of course does not apply to a woman, who would almost certainly be taken up on her offer). Such a woman will make it only too clear that not only is she not that sort of woman and will as a matter of principle reject. Sex is always and only ever on the terms of the woman, not merely when and with whom but also what is to happen during sex. The man of course has, like a performing seal be ready to peform at the right moment and frequebntly do the right thing by soemthing approaching telepathiy. There is simply not a level playing field.
2. Even if you meet a woman who enjoys no strings sex, then sooner or later one of two things will happen: either, she will put pressure on you to commit, or; she will tell you when you try to advance the relationship that ‘friends have sex’ – in other words she sends you into friend zone territory to be used when she wants. (I have experienced both). I have yet to come across a woman who did not do one or other. I am a bastard in the first case, and in the second I am making unreasonable demands.
It is also worth bearing in mind that when a man meets a woman it is not at that moment clear whether the woman is interested in an LTR or merely a hook-up. Even hook-ups can lead to an LTR. What Mrs Walsh is doing is encouraging women to be sluts and then justifies their behaviour as ‘non-sluttish’ on the ground that it is merely a hook up. She is effectively encouraging women to use men as unpaid gigolos. Female empowerment seems to amount in the main to nothing more than seeing how many cocks a woman can ride without regret.
You American ladies, “packing heat”. I don’t think there would be anyone in this city who does that, except cops. And there was a time when they didn’t either (in my lifetime).
I caught some of the gun talk and have been sorta wondering what the point of this website is supposed to be. Not that there’s anything wrong with gun talk. But it seems we may have some gun talk addicts in this crowd. Oh my.
[D: Not me. I’ve gone nearly a year without buying a gun.]
David
An armed society is a polite society.
Law abiding Australians were thoroughly disarmed after Martin Bryant.
Of course, non law abiding citizens still have all the weaponry they want. Only now, the rest of us have no legally defensible means of self protection.
an observer, nobody I know has ever owned a gun. Before or after Martin Bryant. Where do you live? I live in Canberra, and I used to live in Melbourne.
@Dalrock
I admire your considerable restraint. Myself, I have a soft spot for wheelguns and odd Eastern bloc milsurp. Bought and refinished a Nagant last year, thus combining both of my disturbing fetishes. Shortly I will probably prove completely unable to resist buying a trap gun.
I did slightly know one man, an MRA called John Coochey, who was into guns. I think he holds a kangaroo shooting licence.
David
Its not about place of residence. Or public safety. Or what we used to do with air rifles. It is about the freedom of self determination. To make choices and accept consequences.
Government meddling interrupts that feedback loop. So many actions now have no, or farcical, consequences. Other actions are banned. Individual ability to assess risk has gone.
In place, we have procedures. Rules. Guidelines. Regulations. Certification.
One big farce.
an observer, Australia is just not a gun culture. Never has been. Farmers and fishermen have guns. The average person does not, unless he is into shooting as a sport.
Where do you live?
David
Great south land of the holy spirit. A lucky country run by socialist morons.
A nation where law and order is heavily dependent on shared values.
Forced infusions of diverse culture has already disrupted everyday life.
I would be much safer with concealed carry laws. But as i said before, law abiding citizens now have no self protection. Mixing cultures has never worked.
http://voxday.blogspot.com/2012/05/plato-and-fear-of-raciss.html
There may be places where I would feel safer with a gun, but I would have to seek them out. Maybe wandering through Redfern at night. (I did actually get lost in Sydney once, with my wife in the car, and end up in Redfern). But I normally feel perfectly safe. A fairly solid middle aged man is not an interesting target I suppose.
I used to joke that Australians never got into guns because you don’t arm convicts. In any case, it is just not our style, is it?
I dunno about race mixing. My wife mentioned Sudanese this morning. I said that they apparently fight with the Islanders. That would be quite a match-up.
W. C:
Men’s rights. Free speech. Gun rights. Due process. Most people here aren’t too fond of any rights being stomped on.
Suz, this is a different country. In some ways better. In some ways worse.
To the idea that Lolo Jones found no decent man to be with:
1. we don’t know what kind of man she considers “decent to be with”
2. she may simply be “allowing” the men she doesn’t consider “decent to be with”, to approach(and wine and dine her).
also, this
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/relationships/6709646/All-men-watch-porn-scientists-find.html
since all women read romance novels and that isn’t stigmatised, I wonder why women demand men who have never seen naked flesh (with a reminder that television nowadays is quite risque).
Are such women looking for Amish men?
P Ray
My wife doesn’t mind if I watch porn. She used to bring me home copies of Penthouse Australia from her library job.
I try not to watch porn, for moral reasons, but I have seen some.
[D: Not me. I’ve gone nearly a year without buying a gun.]
—————————————————————
But does a Gun Safe count as still dabbling in gun commerce?
Shortly I will probably prove completely unable to resist buying a trap gun.
—————————————————————————
I hope you are serious. An old Ithaca over and under…..BAM…..clay pigeons cower at the mention of the name
I don’t have many guns (and those that I have are being held by my buddy until this whole mess blows over). I have a Rossi youth that I taught my boys to shoot. Interchangable .22 and .408 barrells. My favorite is my Mossberg 500. Again, can swap the barrells for shotgun or slug gun (I am also going to get a black powder barrell for it). In PA, deer hunting really doesn’t happen beyond 100 yards, given the density of the trees and hunter safety. If you’re not familiar with the two states, you would figure PA and NY would have strict gun laws, but outside the cities, the political leanings are far different. As James Carville quipped (paraphrase), “In Pennsylvania, you have Philly on one side, Pittsburgh on the other and Alabama in the middle.”
I was going to file for a concealed weapon permit before all this nonsense. I wonder how it will effect things.
PA has more reasonable laws. If it wasn’t for work, central PA (aka northern Alabama) might be quite appealing. Very beautiful there.
@Empath
I know this is OT (but kind of not OT anymore I guess), but since it’s would be my first shotgun, been looking at something like this until I grow into the sport more. Thoughts?
@ RTP
“I was going to file for a concealed weapon permit before all this nonsense. I wonder how it will effect things.”
I don’t know your story, but if there is a restraining order against you or if you have been convicted of domestic violence (whether rightly or wrongly), you will likely be unable to get your CCP. Laws vary by state, but that is the case here in MI.
@ PR and DC:
I saw this link on Hawaiian Libertarian’s blog:
http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/
I wouldn’t presume to advise you on this matter, but it seems many men find it in their own self-interest to refrain.
Thanks Suze, I guess I was kinda poking fun at the seemingly popular viewpoint that ‘addiction’ is the main reason woman do certain things.
This woman doesn’t have choices. She is flat-chested and has two prominent warts on her unattractive face. Her only positive is she’s fairly trim–for a peri-menopausal woman. (40 if she’s a day).
She is still going on dates because there are No. Men. Left. Not for her. She is sipping the dregs. Each year that passes, the men willing to buy her dinner will be older, uglier, ever more dysfunctional.
Young women — you will never have as much sexual market value as in your early 20’s. Do not squander it.
“the men willing to buy her dinner will be older, uglier, ever more dysfunctional.”
That’s the problem right there.
Men without standards, give the women the incentive to stay on the carousel (there will always be a safety net for her).
Men should have the standards as exemplified by the motto from “Heroes”:
“Save the cheerleader, save the world!” 🙂
Thank you, Sunshine, but I don’t have a porn problem. Maybe a curiosity problem, but I can take it or leave it.
My grandmother had a jocular saying. “Her face is her fortune”. Most women in their early 20s have that fortune. Do what my wife did: marry a serious man when you are at your prettiest, and he will bond nicely to you for life. Try to be as nearly virginal as you can; be prepared to share his life; and don’t be a bitch. With normal luck, that will set you up for life.
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