In noticed this yesterday as number eight in the Kindle top 100 paid list Prick: A Stepbrother Romance. The book description reads:
I can’t stop thinking about that prick.
Caulter Sterling is a prick.
A filthy-mouthed, womanizing, crude, spoiled, arrogant prick.
The tattooed, pierced, panty-melting-hot son of a celebrity.
I hate him.
He’s slept his way through practically every girl at Brighton Academy.
Except for me.
I’m the good girl. The responsible girl. The 4.0, class president, studied-so-much-she-never-lost-the-big-V girl.
And in celebration of graduation and adulthood, I just made the worst decision in the history of ever.
I lost my V-card to the devil himself.
It was just one night. So what if it was mind-blowing? Hit it and quit it.
Except I just found out that my father – the Senator, the Presidential hopeful – is marrying Caulter’s mother. Oh, and this summer? We’re hitting the campaign trail.
One big happy family.
I’m totally f**ked.
What is fascinating is the contrast between our deep cultural belief that women are sexually pure by nature, and the shameless consumption of porn by women. Prick has moved from number eight to number 11 overnight, but even with it off the top ten list four of the top ten are “Romance Novels”, including several variants of 50 SoG.
To get a sense of the level of denial here, consider Jenny Erikson. Erikson is the mother of two who complained about her pastor spoiling her plans to ambush her husband with divorce papers. While she was very open that she was divorcing because she wasn’t happy any more, she also cast about for some sort of rationalization for her choice to destroy her family. The best she could come up with was that her husband had viewed porn, and she took great solace in Matt Walsh stating that this is adultery. Erikson was not surprisingly delighted to receive this moral cover from Walsh, and tweeted:
Married men: your porn habit is an adultery habit http://themattwalshblog.com/2013/11/25/married-men-your-porn-habit-is-an-adultery-habit/ … (I love this guy)
Yet at the same time Erikson is quite open about her own consumption of porn, which no doubt she sees as something entirely different. Not long after being comforted by Walsh for her decision to blow up her family, Erikson wrote at The Stir:
Hold onto your hats, Fifty Shades of Grey fans! It feels like we’ve been waiting forever to see Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson in action as our favorite star-crossed lovers with a penchant for BDSM, but it looks like we’re finally going to get a little something to whet our appetites.
This stuff is most toxic because it isn’t seen as toxic at all. This isn’t porn, they rationalize, these people are in love!
In the scheme of things this kind of porn isn’t nearly as harmful as divorce fantasies like Eat Pray Love and Fireproof. However, we do women a great disservice by pretending that their porn is different, and that their sexual impulses are more pure than those of men.
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‘This stuff is most toxic because it isn’t seen as toxic at all. This isn’t porn, they rationalize, these people are in love!’
Emotional porn is just as destructive as physical porn. The rationalization is they have good feelings for these characters and good feelings trump sin.
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Ten bucks sez Jenny has packed on the pounds since her divorce, she drinks too much, she’s gotten tattoos, and her former circle of
cackling hensclose friends have started distancing themselves from her in the last two years.So much for her attempt to live the “Having It All” fantasy.
I know anecdotal evidence is not really evidence, so please take this with the proverbial grain of salt, but in my experience in ministry, the sexual hypocrisy of females can be breathtaking. Here is the story: had a young single mom in our congregation. One night during fellowship, she claims several of our male members were looking at an attractive girl walking by. She publicly called out the men on their sin, and told us that she could no longer fellowship with us because of how sinful the men were. The men were mystified, and all claimed that they were not even looking at the passing girl. The single mom agrees to stay, provisionally. Sometime later, it came to light that the same single mom had accused a young man outside the congregation of molesting her teenage daughter. It turns out the teenaged daughter had been flirting with the young man by sitting in his lap–no other contact etc etc. The daughter even told us that nothing even remotely happened and that “my mom likes drama to make her life more interesting.” After further due diligence (the single mom even confessed that there had been no “genital contact”) we asked the single mom to make things right for the young man (she had told his parents and was threatening legal action, etc). She refused and said things like this “blow over.” We asked her if she felt remorse for making the young man look bad before his parents, and she said “no.” Church discipline was practiced, and we asked her to leave the fellowship until she was ready to approach the young man’s family and set the record straight. Two months later, she is pregnant out of wedlock with a non-christian, bears the child, gets child support in the thousands per month in addition to the father’s swanky san francisco condo. Father moves into a small single apartment (she somehow got him kicked out of his own pad, and they are not even married). Even though the guy is a successful commercial real estate developer, he barely gets by–all his money goes to her (“for the baby”). I had a conversation with her at a recent birthday party, and she is plotting all kinds of ways to get more money from the situation. I asked her if she could understand why the men in the fellowship were disturbed that she could condemn them for looking at a woman and she herself had a child out of wedlock, and she nodded. On the bright side, she did eventually go make it right with the young man she had falsely accused of sexually molesting her daughter. Sad story on so many fronts (poor baby raised by single mom! Poor dad!), and a travesty that the entire legal-military complex stands behind her, ready to destroy any man who dares to stand up for a shred of justice. Apologies for the looong story. Thanks.
Philo, that is terrible. Moral of the story, …if you are a man and want to hold on to all your hard earned assets, never risk having s-x.
Dalrock,
That’s it. Women are given a free pass on all of it.
Father moves into a small single apartment (she somehow got him kicked out of his own pad, and they are not even married).
Likely what happened is that she was shacked up there with him and then she called the cops to allege abuse/DV/fear of DV. If that happens, it’s the guy who gets to live somewhere else, generally, even if he owned the place to begin with. More than a few women are hip to this method of effectively stealing a guy’s place from him, at least for a period of time. Eventually things will get unwound and distributed by the court in a settlement, but for the meantime it’s basically living in someone else’s place for free, plus getting c/s.
If you want to highlight the biggest downside to cohabitation that’s it right there.
“What is fascinating is the contrast between our deep cultural belief that women are sexually pure by nature, and the shameless consumption of porn by women.”
What’s fascinating is that it isn’t seen in our society even as a contrast. Women consume porn precisely BECAUSE it’s believed that women are sexually pure by nature. Or, more accurately, women’s using or consuming it (whatever “it” is) transforms its nature—because women like it or use it or look at it, it is not porn, it is not bad, it is not immoral, it is not wrong.
Because of their “sexual purity”, nothing they do is “wrong”. Therefore, nothing they look at, use or consume for sexual titillation is bad, injurious, or wrong. Nothing women ever do appeals to their prurient interests because women don’t have any prurient interests. Everything they do, believe, think and feel is pure as the driven snow.
It is as ballista has said at his place. There is a belief in society and even in the Church that women aren’t capable of sin. This isn’t the origin of the problem; it’s a result, I think.
Any man who shacks up with a woman is a fool. We know what happens to fools and their money, don’t we?
In many ways, television and films of all types tend to be a form of pornography for women, because the people portrayed typically have larger and better-furnished homes, and a better all-around lifestyle than they would in “real life.” For example, a policeman on the screen might be shown as living in a large house in a very attractive neighborhood, with good cars, furniture, vacations, a larger-than-average number of good-looking, well-dressed children AND a stay-at-home-wife in a metro area known to have extremely high living costs. I’m not saying that watching one such program would cause a problem, but rather that the steady drip, drip, drip of watching such programs could cause chronic dissatisfaction in much the same way that women who engage in recreational shopping are invariably more acquisitive and materialistic than women who do not.
It might be that the very low Amish/Mennonite divorce rate is partly due to the lack of video.
Philo:
I fully believe your story. And yes, the sexual hypocrisy of women in church is breathtaking. It’s usually much, much more subtle than this. Because of its usual subtlety, that hypocrisy is almost always overlooked completely or mistaken for actual righteousness.
Usually, this hypocrisy presents as:
1. The “reformed slut” who is ‘tired of the playas and the games’ and has come back to church because she “wants to do it the right way this time”. They are almost always over 30 and are there to entrap an unsuspecting beta into a merit-badge marriage which will be ended after five or so years and a baby is born.
2. The divorced woman who tells the usual sob story of how her ex husband done her wrong. But when you dig deep, you discover she either (a) married a douchbag/jailbird who tingled her; or (b) she frivorced him.
3. The pinch faced blue hair hypermoralists always clucking about how awful and horrible all the men are; with their henpecked hunched-shoulder husbands in tow behind them.
This stuff is most toxic because it isn’t seen as toxic at all. This isn’t porn, they rationalize, these people are in love!
I think also it’s hard for people to see text as “porn”. “Porn”, in our culture, generally means video, and explicit video at that — not stories. Stories are sometimes classed as “erotica” (I think that’s what 50SOG is), but not “porn”, and it’s seen as “higher” or “better” than looking at sexual acts in a video format. That’s a broader cultural issue, I think.
What is interesting, however, is that women are increasing their consumption of video porn as well. It’s nothing close to the viewing of it by men, of course, but it’s much more than it used to be, and also skews much more as you move to younger ages, where the generations basically grew up in the context of having internet porn available 24/7. There is porn now that is being created and marketed specifically to women viewers, as well, yet no-one really talks about this very much. Much of this is happening under the radar, I think, while people focus on the admittedly more frequent and heavy use of porn by men, but the use of porn by women is increasing and is also having an impact on their preferences and behaviors.
her former circle of cackling hens close friends have started distancing themselves from her in the last two years.
I wonder if the frivorcing wife is, by nature, a drama queen. After all, they blow up a marriage without a great deal of justification.
When married, a lot of the drama talk is directed toward the husband, either as target or as audience. When that relationships cuts off, the frivorcing wife will likely use the friends in the same role.
“‘Love the Lord God with all your heart and with all your soul and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.”
It is not merely pornography (which may be tolerable as venal in drips and drabs), but it is actually idolatry in the West, the worship of Diana and Eros.
“What is interesting, however, is that women are increasing their consumption of video porn as well. *** There is porn now that is being created and marketed specifically to women viewers, as well, yet no-one really talks about this very much. ”
Are you talking about hardcore explicit porn?
Or are you talking about 50SoG-style porn where the sex is interspersed with a skeleton plot and tied up with the “emotional” aspect of the sex?
Or are you talking about softcore “hard R” style porn with graphic nudity and lots of simulated sex? “Jiggle” movies like Andy Sidaris used to make and were shown on Cinemax (“Skinemax”) in the 1990s?
“In the scheme of things this kind of porn isn’t nearly as harmful as divorce fantasies like Eat Pray Love and Fireproof.”
Cannot be said often enough!
The sins of men are amplified while the sins of women, if called sins at all, are minimized as a response to the sins of men. He sins – his fault. She sins – his fault. He likes sex – he is a pervert. She like sex it is love. More than just a outrageous double standard it is an all out assault on marriage.
Are you talking about hardcore explicit porn?
Or are you talking about 50SoG-style porn where the sex is interspersed with a skeleton plot and tied up with the “emotional” aspect of the sex?
Or are you talking about softcore “hard R” style porn with graphic nudity and lots of simulated sex? “Jiggle” movies like Andy Sidaris used to make and were shown on Cinemax (“Skinemax”) in the 1990s?
Not softcore, no. There’s now hardcore porn being made and marketed to women (sometimes produced by women as well). It seems to be much more sex-oriented than 50SOG (although the author of that book got into fights with the film producer and wanted much more sex in the film than ended up in it), from what I can tell. I don’t look at porn, but when I read somewhere several months ago about this trend I did some googling and quite a few sites came up, so I assume that it is a thing now.
@Anchorman -I wonder if the frivorcing wife is, by nature, a drama queen. After all, they blow up a marriage without a great deal of justification.
When married, a lot of the drama talk is directed toward the husband, either as target or as audience. When that relationships cuts off, the frivorcing wife will likely use the friends in the same role.
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I noticed that when my ex was dating someone, our interactions became much more peaceful as she had someone else to fight with.
The article below was written about a year and a half ago, which means the numbers it cites are probably still pretty close to the numbers right now:
eBook Sales Study Reports “Mommy Porn” to be the Leading Genre in Conversion
Fascinating read, and it deals with why books like 50SOG and Prick: A Stepbrother Romance are overtaking the bodice-rippers of previous decades. Here’s a “zoomable” version of the pie-chart from that article.
I noticed that when my ex was dating someone, our interactions became much more peaceful as she had someone else to fight with.
My ex remains as frigid as she was when we were married years ago.
Now I’ve not read everything Mrs. Erikson has written about the subject, but it strikes me that retweeting a column is not the same as accusing her husband of pornography use. But that said, whatever “Leif” did or did not do, I would agree that she’s gotten into the feminine equivalent, and judging by the lack of activity on her part, I think she’s paying a huge price in her life.
And I’d have to guess that any prospective date/boyfriend who googles her before taking her out (or before asking her out) might be a wee bit uneasy about dating a gossip columnist. Nothing like a date gone wrong gone viral on the Internet to cause a guy to say NEXT emphatically.
A bit more to the point, while I’m no fan of pornography–whether it’s hard-core porn portraying actual sex acts or simply suggestive nudity/soft-core–I do think that we need to parse out its use in terms of the fact that almost all of us are guilty of violating Matthew 5 by fantasizing about someone who is not our spouse.
Which translates as: “None of the men here turn me on anyway.”
@Bike Bubba
I don’t have the link handy, but she did accuse Leif of viewing porn on one of her many blog posts justifying her decision to blow up her family. Perhaps someone here has that post at their fingertips.
At any rate, Walsh did give women cover to divorce over porn, and Erikson clearly appreciated his doing so.
One thought here.
I have had more than one woman say written porn aka erotica is not the same as visual porn.
I wonder why women think this way and why they think visual porn is cheating
jon,
Entire manosphere, I am going to play blue-pill devil’s advocate for just a moment. Bear with me.
My senior year in high school (in government class) we were discussing the legal concept of statitory rape (having s-x with someone too young to give consent.) My teacher was history department head. A question was asked by one of my MALE classmates, “…is it against the law if I am just one day older than my girlfriend and on my 18th birthday, she decides to give me the most awesome birthday present a girl can give a boy?” The teacher said yes, the boy should go to jail as she is one day shy of her 18th birthday, she can’t give consent and he is responsible for his actions. So we followed up with the reverse question, what if the boy is a day younger and she turns 18, does she go to jail? And of course his answer to the class is “no.” Statitory rape laws are (generally) only enforced when only the girl is a minor (certain situations like pregnant teachers going to jail for having s-x with 14 year old boys, notwithstanding.) But those teachers are the exceptions, not the rule. They are NOT the reason why government created a law.
Okay so why? Why in the blue pill world is this the case? Why the double standard on the concept of statitory rape law and sex? Why is s-x rightous and okay in pretty much all circumstances where the woman wants it…. BUT it is seen as perverted and sick and criminal and (in somecases) worthy of DEATH in the eyes of some when the man wants it or fantisizes about it? Why the difference? Why are even red-pill-fathers (generally) not the least bit bothered by their sons having s-x with teacher (like in the Van Halen song “Hot for Teacher”) but if their daughters have s-x with teacher, they get shotguns?
Well the difference is pregnancy and purity. First virtue and virginity. Virgin girls are considered “pure” because they have an intact hymen. Virgin boys are never “pure” in that sense so they could never actually “lose” their virtue (virtue = something ONLY a girl has to give her husband in marriage) to a cougar. And on pregnancy? Society legally destroys only men for having s-x with children because the result of that action is the possible creation of a child having a child. And society must do all that it can to prevent this from happening. It doesn’t matter if she is consenting or not, the man is entirely responsible. And ONLY the man because he is physically stronger than a woman and can prevent his semen from ever getting anywhere near a ‘gina.
Such as the case with pron. Society frowns on men viewing pron (and in somecases, equalizes that with adultry for married men) because the majority of the girls who are performing in pron are so very young and nubile. The fantasy here for the men viewing it is almost pedophilic in its neotney ot taking a young girl’s “purity” and “virtue.” For women with their pron? No. No such shame. That is because their pron fantasies involve s-x with men who have massive financial provisioning (like 50SoG) where the result of the s-x (whether sinful or not) are children who are financially provided for by “someone.” Hypergamy (in her case) is seen as rightous and (for the most blue pill man) even Biblical! She CAN’T take his virtue because he never had it.
It all boils down to pregnancy (the possible result of s-x) and virtue (virginity = what girls have a selling point to get them married and provisioned.) Men who fantasize the s-x in viewing pron means they get to “f-ck and run” leaving a pregnant child, virtue stolen, and two destroyed lives. Women who fantasize the s-x in viewing pron means they get “f-cking and provisioning” which is right and just and good because there is now money to support the possibility of the b@stards. And he should have known better, its his own fault where he puts his pen-s.
If a woman’s husband is using porn, it’s a very, very good bankable bet that one or more of the following is a major contributing factor:
1. She won’t have sex with him as much as he would like to. She routinely refuses him.
2. She has let her body go — she makes no effort at attractiveness.
3. She’s gotten fat.
4. She’s gotten bitchy.
Ladies, if you want to know why your husbands use porn, you might start by looking at yourselves.
There is something to the virtue and virginity thing with females. I noticed when running down the list of what female saints did if they were virgins that is one of the first things highlighted.
The men who were saints I have yet to seen virginity highlighted. It highlights more of their title and works on earth. (Bishop, brother, apostle, doctor etc.)
Correct earl.
A man’s “virtue” (such that it is) is measured (by society) by what he has accomplished, what he has done. A woman’s “virtue” is measured (by society) by what she has NOT done.
Right or wrong. Now maybe that is blue pill (or even red pill) I can’t figure this one out, but you can take these bedrock principles and use them to see why society looks at men and women different with the pron.
I wonder why women think this way and why they think visual porn is cheating
It’s the fine line some women walk up to but don’t want to cross, called the “Slut Line.”
Their conduct is never slutty. She will “walk” her conduct right up to the line (written porn, vibrators), but not cross (visual porn), but not cross it. This keeps her safely “not slutty,” which in today’s world means, “good girl.”
So, since men cross that line, she can assure herself that she is a “good girl,” because she won’t cross the line she’s drawn and redrawn. Even if she does, she will rationalize that you must cross the line X+1 times before you’re slutty (X being the number of times she has crossed the line).
For all I know y’all are already aware of this, but a new “romance” series is hitting the market that makes Fifty Shades look like Bambi. It’s about a serial killer with a heart of gold who cuts off women’s nipples and stores them in formaldehyde. He kills them in their youth to spare them the agony of losing their beauty in old age:
http://www.amazon.com/Serial-One-Jaden-Wilkes-ebook/dp/B00NUE3EA6/ref=sr_1_5?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1424368299&sr=1-5&keywords=serial
But the good news is that it’s been almost a year since Jenny Erikson has blogged anything (although she still writes for other venues):
http://www.jennyerikson.com/
IBB:
Nah. Society doesn’t like men looking at porn for a couple of reasons:
–it directs sexual conduct away from a marriage relationship. It’s not good for a marriage or the man or wife, for the husband to say “I’d rather masturbate to porn than have sex with my wife.”
–For young unmarried men, it promotes a skewed, unrealistic version of sexuality. This is actually borne out through anecdotal and other studies. Hell, it’s not normal for 24 year old men to have erectile dysfunction. It’s not normal for a 24 year old man to be unable to reach arousal with a naked 6 in his bed. It’s not normal for a guy to say “I’d rather rub one out than try to get a relationship with a real live woman.” (Though, as overall attractiveness and incentives continue declining, this is getting more commonplace.)
–it’s inconsistent with conventional, biblical sexual morality. For sure, it’s not adultery, but it promotes lust and sin. We just had that discussion in which Esco soundly refuted any claim that viewing porn is not sinful.
___________
And no, the female porn fantasy isn’t getting the alpha provider. The female porn fantasy depicted over and over again is the masculine, dominant man taking her sexually, and him being so overcome with lust and love for her that he cannot help but take her sexually. He is so intoxicated with her that he simply MUST have her forever and ever amen. So then they marry, and live happily ever after.
Women don’t want to control the sex; they don’t want to predict or control what happens. They just want to select the man who will control the sex and what happens. As long as they get to pick the guy, they will let the guy do pretty much what he wants in the bedroom. Because if they get to pick the guy, it’s “safe”.
‘A woman’s “virtue” is measured (by society) by what she has NOT done.’
Well that’s not entirely true. That only applies to the sexual realm. A woman can be measured by virtues by what she has done as well. Many virgins who are saints I’ve see also have the title of martyr next to them too. In fact many of them live quite active lives when it came to helping others.
Actually women’s interests when it comes to porn have nothing much to do with alpha providers, or even heterosexual sex. See here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/01/pornhub-study-women_n_5888960.html
Also, the idea that men are almost exclusively watching nubile 18 year olds also seems wrong, per that chart. Interesting stuff, really.
Granted in the realm of sexual sin I think both sexes should be treated equally when it comes to sin…but it does seem when a woman descends down that path she has more to lose. Perhaps this whole sexual sin cover up is to make them feel better about something great they lost.
@ Ang: VI have had more than one woman say written porn aka erotica is not the same as visual porn. I wonder why women think this way and why they think visual porn is cheating.”
Part of what they claim is worse about visual porn is that it “exploits” vulnerable young women. You see, the men who produce and consume porn have all tricked young vulnerable women with hearts of gold into being exploited, yet another egregious case of women with no moral agency whatsoever being abused by men.
I bet they could also twist the line about looking at others lustfully as being adultery as not applying to a book, too. A man viewing porn is lusting after an actual woman. Edward Cullen and Christian Grey aren’t real, therefore you can lust after them all you want.
@IBB
When you were in HS did you really think that s_x was the very best gift a girl could give a boy. I must be low testosterone but even in HS I thought s_x would be just ok, and in marriage it is great but severely over rated as a life experience. Maybe depends on how thirsty you are.
Anyway – divorcing over porn comes about because in an attempt to emphasize how serious a sin it is (and it is serious when men and women do it) we oversold it and now we have equated it to actual adultery which is just madness.
Accordingly, reading romance/erotica isn’t even listed as a venial sin among the list of sins prohibited by most churches. OTOH, pornography, masturbation, etc. is. Looking the other way for female sin starts at the top of the hierarchy of most churches. I can’t think of one church that has had a movement against “the romance/bodice ripper” publishing industry.
So I guess what I had thought was going to be a one-off sermon called “50 Shades of Pray” is actually going to be a 4 week series – lucky me. And of course what direction did you suspect the ‘blame’ for over-sexualizing today’s women went in the first sermon? Rhetorical question.
No mention of the largest February movie debut take ($94.7M) in history. No mention of the movie outselling all records for pre-sale tickets. No mention of a woman writing the screenplay, a woman writing the novel, or the overwhelming female audience, nor the disturbing numbers of predominantly religious women’s enthusiasm for the movie.
Lots and lots of mention about “God’s plan for your good married sex life, so long as your husband isn’t touching himself”. Lots of mention about porn addiction among men.
Christian Culture pastors are in a real pickle with 50SoG. They can’t directly admonish woman-kind in a sermon without risk of offending the feminist undercurrent in the church, but they can’t resist the sensationalist relevance of the social trend and excitement 50SoG has generated in women (most in their own church). They can’t ignore it.
The default go-to is to ridicule the masculine as being the more carnally flawed sex with all of the prerequisite masculine self-deprecation. Once the male self-flagellation lightens the mood, then the formula shifts to the nebulous-but-useful “evil society” and the hopelessness of The World (thus reinforcing the self-gratifying repetition that “what the world really needs is God”). The end result is a satisfaction of having covered the topic, providing an ambiguous solution and avoiding the tar pit of actually holding women to account for their actions.
A couple women I know attended a dildo party recently (not sure if it was a bachelorette party or what), and posted a couple pictures of the merchandise to Facebook. Now, these aren’t the churchiest women I know, but they consider themselves Christian and post the occasional “spiritual” meme about Jesus loving them. They’re not prostitutes or satanists or anything, just completely normal American women; and they’re not at all embarrassed to joke about their dildo purchases in a public forum where their families and friends can read it.
“Women are inherently good.” That belief is where it all starts, and leads to: whatever women do must be good. Men, on the other hand, might be evil (the feminist position), or they might just be fallible and inferior to women (the churchian and mainstream position). Either way, sinful behavior by men is expected, so it can be identified and condemned as such. Women’s cannot.
‘You see, the men who produce and consume porn have all tricked young vulnerable women with hearts of gold into being exploited, yet another egregious case of women with no moral agency whatsoever being abused by men.’
And yet this is basically the plot of 50SoG. Which has now been made into a movie where this exploitation has been made into a visual medium.
Part of a review of “Serial” by Amy (linked above): “Serial is a painful, sexual and exhillerating glimpse into the mind of a self professed sociopath/psychopath. Jude is a brilliant businessman who kills beautiful women in the name of love. As he is loving these women to death and mutilating them he meets his Pet and now he must kill to keep her alive??? Agent Donovan is the lead FBI agent who is assigned to bring down the perpetrator of these murders. All seems professional until his hands grip around Emily’s neck as his eyes wonder onto the pictures on the board, his grip tightens. Hot, I am hot and bothered and can’t wait until Serial, #2!!! Am I mentally disturbed that I am drawn to Jude, his sick, twisted, erotic mind? […] How can you feel empathy for the serial killer? Let Lily and Jaden show you how!!”
From “Just Another Book B$%ch”: Jude is…wealthy…good looking….and a complete psychopath. Even Jude doesn’t know the depths he is capable of. What he does know is that nothing gives him more pleasure than watching the life leave a beautiful body. Jude’s hunger can only be sated with the spilling of more blood. […] This is a serial, a short read that leaves you on the cusp and wanting more. […] This is definitely a book you will want to read for yourself. Then perhaps seek psychiatric help right afterwards for the attraction and lust you will feel towards Jude. Hell maybe we can get a group discount because I believe we will have a HUGE fan club for this series. I don’t know where it’s going but I believe it’s going to be one hell of a ride! We may very well be Dirty, Wet, and a bit Sicker by the time Lily & Jaden are through with us and I for one can’t wait!!!”
There are at least another 100 reviews just like it.
‘Accordingly, reading romance/erotica isn’t even listed as a venial sin among the list of sins prohibited by most churches.’
It doesn’t explicitly state erotica…but when it comes to the Sixth Commandment it falls under the term bad or immodest books.
Martel:
So, a bunch of women are turned on by a serial mass murderer who kills women and mutilates their bodies.
And women complain about their husbands rubbing one out to a 35 year old MILF with silicone breasts getting railed by a Dirk Diggler clone? Seriously?
@Deti,
Agreed, but imagine saying these words out loud at a churchian Bible study group discussing men’s porn “issues”. Hell, imagine expressing this to a group of men at a men’s church retreat. What do you think the reaction would be?
Men are supposed to be the controlled sex. To be a real man is to be in control of himself, to deny himself pleasure, to uphold his conviction despite a ‘suffering’ that will never be recognized or appreciated. Just uttering that sentence disqualifies you from manhood, because sex shouldn’t be more important than your devotion to God, right?
deti,
Love. If there is some kind of “love” involved, it must be okay.
But since men can have sex without love, men’s porn is bad.
But women have the same sexual appetite as men. It’s no different.
So . . .
I don’t get it.
“Women are inherently good.”
Well whomever came up with that idea is leading to a great disservice to women. I’d say that’s misogyny 101.
Besides what basis is there that women are inherently good and men aren’t? Because men sin? Well that’s countered by this:
‘for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God’ Romans 3:23
Nova:
If that chart is to be believed, women want to see gay porn — lesbians having sex, and gay men having sex.
The most popular porn for men is teens, followed closely by MILF and “mature”. In other words, men want to see pretty, sexy, sexually available young women; and women who look like their wives.
Women are getting their kink on. Men, on the other hand, are showing “normal”, normative sexual tastes reflected in their porn viewing, if this survey is to be believed. Men are clearly using porn as a substitute for “real sex”. Women are using porn to get increasingly more “extreme” in what they choose to see.
Tell me, who are the sexual deviants again?
So the lamenting is that in general men deal with some sort of justice for their sins and women don’t.
That’s a dangerous slope for women. Because there is an ultimate judge at the end. Excusing sin based on gender is doing them no favors.
So.
Here’s what we know, if Pornhub is to be believed. Men like to look at pretty, sexy, sexually available women who resemble their wives.
If a man’s wife decides to make an effort to be pretty, sexy and sexually available to her husband, and then actually IS sexually available to her husband, it then stands to reason that that man might not have a reason to resort to porn.
Food for thought, ladies.
One funny thing I read is that women’s rape/dominance fantasies are actually the fault of the patriarchy.
You see, women are taught (still, today as much as ever) to be ashamed of their sexuality. They feel awful about actually ever wanting it. Therefore, being tied up or raped is the only way she can feel okay about getting off without feeling guilty. It’s the only way she can legitimately have sexual desire, for if she has sex voluntarily she’s bound to feel conflicted about it. If he makes her do it, there’s no guilt.
Don’t shoot me, I’m just the messenger.
Women are getting their kink on. Men, on the other hand, are showing “normal”, normative sexual tastes reflected in their porn viewing, if this survey is to be believed.
It seems that way. I don’t buy the justifications in that HuffPo article (the writer had to make it about feminism, of course, and how heterosexual porn is sexist and exploitative, while lesbian and gay male porn is not, sheesh), but the trends are sure interesting and consistent with TRP.
You see, women are taught (still, today as much as ever) to be ashamed of their sexuality.
I don’t buy that for a second.
@ Anchorman: “I don’t buy that for a second.”
Me, neither; I’m just describing how they think.
Even though women today are raised differently than women 100 years ago in virtually every respect, some things about women haven’t changed. Accepting this would mean acknowledging that there are certain *gasp* intrinsic characteristics to the sexes. This must be avoided at all costs. Therefore, we must use whatever tortured logic possible to explain how A is not A, how more options for women are actually more forms of oppression, how everything about female behavior that doesn’t support their theories about Evil Patriarchy actually prove the pervasiveness of Evil Patriarchy, etc.
Ahhh, got it.
Female “emotional porn” is arguably worse/more destructive than male “visual porn.”
Visual porn is like scratching an itch. Once done, it’s out of sight, out of mind.
Emotional porn is strikes deeper, stirring the feelings and imaginings of the reader. I’m guessing that its effects linger and fester long after the book has been shut.
I’m not sure either is “worse” than the other. They’re both destructive. They’re both tailored to titillate the right zones in their audiences.
I genuinely enjoyed the movie Cruel Intentions when a girl I was dating showed it to me. For me, the character Sebastian’s death demonstrated an underlying selflessness that must have been present beneath the surface of his otherwise unlikeable character. It isn’t a transformation, it’s a rise to meet the situation. I see now that the girl didn’t see it that way and that her enjoyment of the movie was very different from mine. Sacrificing his life was only one of many possible ways Sebastian could have proved his love. What is important about his death is only its effect on Annette. She can know that her sexual relationship with him was ok, because he really loved her. Openly celebrating snuff films, where the victims are literally sacrificed to prove the virtue of hypergamy, while whining that men react physiologically to the sight of women’s bodies has to be the absolute height of hypocrisy.
Student Banned from Areas of Campus for Resembling Classmate’s Rapist
http://www.nationalreview.com/article/413978/student-banned-areas-campus-resembling-classmates-rapist-katherine-timpf
A sneak preview of the companion novel
Prick: A Stepbromance
is included in the book,
That companion ebook can be found primarily in the kindle store “also ordered” list when ordering the groundbreaking tome Football Bats
May I observe that the above opening of Prick is really well written, and considerably better than vast amounts of the graphic stuff one can read at places like ASSTR. Would the author, by any chance, be male?
Is there not some verse in the NT about committing adultery in ones heart if one so much as finds another woman attractive and is that not the ultimate in thought crimes which any normal male must fail. There is a vast difference between say flirting and having sex with ones flirtee, just as there is a massive gulf between ones desire to rid the world of ones enemies and the carrying out of the termination of their mortal life.
@ Marcus: Good thing that guy and her rapist aren’t black. Otherwise, the administration reconciling their desire for a woman’s right to not have to be reminded of her attacker and their fear of being considered racist might cause their heads to explode.
Opus, here are the versus in question:
Anger and Reconciliation
(Luke 12:57-59)
21Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment: 22But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire. 23Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; 24Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift. 25Agree with thine adversary quickly, whiles thou art in the way with him; lest at any time the adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to the officer, and thou be cast into prison. 26Verily I say unto thee, Thou shalt by no means come out thence, till thou hast paid the uttermost farthing.
Adultery
(Leviticus 18:1-30)
27Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: 28But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. 29And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. 30And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
KJV because why not.
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anonymous_ng
The verses that you refer have the connotation of a wealthy pharisee finding a woman who he desires greatly and then takes active steps to compromise her or cause her husband to divorce her, so that the pharisee can take her for his own. This would involve lying or using the pharisee’s political power to destroy the man or woman’s reputation. The act of looking on a woman and “lusting” is the planning in one’s mind an elaborate scheme to defraud the husband of a woman who is rightfully his. It is not looking at “naughty pictures” on the internet.
@John, agreed. I don’t say that they’ve got the same interpretation as Opus, but merely provided them as a benefit to the conversation.
@Dalrock
Great post Mr.”D”……love the comments on this one!
@Novaseeker
“”Likely what happened is that she was shacked up there with him and then she called the cops to allege abuse/DV/fear of DV. If that happens, it’s the guy who gets to live somewhere else, generally, even if he owned the place to begin with. More than a few women are hip to this method of effectively stealing a guy’s place from him, at least for a period of time.””
Yes Sir!……seen this happen more than once.And the Toronto Cops are more than stupid enough to believe it!……and enforce it!…..*shakes head*
@deti
Usually, this hypocrisy presents as:
Great analogy!…..^5s
“”What’s fascinating is that it isn’t seen in our society even as a contrast. Women consume porn precisely BECAUSE it’s believed that women are sexually pure by nature.””
I was over at my little sisters last week for dinner,with my brother as her hubby is out of town on business,she invited us and we also wanted to see our nephews & nieces.She was cooking dinner while we were chatting and then went to check her email.She was horrified!!!…..she had received “gay porn video links”….from friends of hers…..”married friends”…..my brother and I laughed soooooo hard!.She was horrified….”I have no ambition to watch porn…let alone.GAY porn…wtf”?……….My brother and I looked at each other and nearly fell out of our chairs laughing…..”Ahhh Yes!….the modern day “married” Canadian woman….L*
“”If that chart is to be believed, women want to see gay porn — lesbians having sex, and gay men having sex.””
Yes sir!!!!
@Cail
“”A couple women I know attended a dildo party recently””
They all have dildos!(maybe not the married..but the divorced?….they have a closet full).My oldest sister(age 46),has attended them before.How do I know? Her 16 year old son(my nephew) has searched through bedroom,when she is away.He tells me this stuff……..And I,the “Good Uncle”…have to explain it to him.I do not lie to him.I tell him the truth.The supreme irony?…we men are pigs for watching porn?….but,these wimminz have a closet full of “fake penises”?????…..Ya Right!!!!………..what a joke!
@thedeti
The female porn fantasy depicted over and over again is the masculine, dominant man taking her sexually, and him being so overcome with lust and love for her that he cannot help but take her sexually. He is so intoxicated with her that he simply MUST have her forever and ever amen.
This is the downfall of every beta-male and husband that was taught to be polite and ask for sex, “choreplay” and raincheck sex. It’s a fit test, and she will be as dry as the Sahara if it is failed. The romance porn crap is really terrible at heightening expectations beyond what mortal men can attain. On an omnipotent and omniscient Personal Jesus has any shot at running the gauntlet to the “prize” that many of these women are bargaining with. Anything less and they are told that they have sold themselves short.
Nice Hammer Charlie.
Phillyastro says:
February 19, 2015 at 10:37 am
“It is not merely pornography (which may be tolerable as venal in drips and drabs), but it is actually idolatry in the West, the worship of Diana and Eros.”
Do you mean Aphrodite and Eros?
Rollo Tomassi says:
February 19, 2015 at 12:13 pm
“So I guess what I had thought was going to be a one-off sermon called “50 Shades of Pray” is actually going to be a 4 week series – lucky me.”
Why attend such a “church”?
@”navseeker
What is interesting, however, is that women are increasing their consumption of video porn as well. It’s nothing close to the viewing of it by men, of course, but it’s much more than it used to be, and also skews much more as you move to younger ages, where the generations basically grew up in the context of having internet porn available 24/7. There is porn now that is being created and marketed specifically to women viewers, as well, yet no-one really talks about this very much. Much of this is happening under the radar, I think, while people focus on the admittedly more frequent and heavy use of porn by men, but the use of porn by women is increasing and is also having an impact on their preferences and behaviors.”
Thank you for saying For years I was addicted to what my old church labeled a ” man issued “. BS
I” understood” that I could not get help because i am not a man and therefore I can’t be addicted to porn And dearth Vander is the good guy, and the like…
Rollo,
“Ladies, if you want to know why your husbands use porn, you might start by looking at yourselves.
Agreed, but imagine saying these words out loud at a churchian Bible study group discussing men’s porn “issues”. Hell, imagine expressing this to a group of men at a men’s church retreat. What do you think the reaction would be?”
As an excuse/justification to use porn? Negative.
The duty of wives to stay in shape for their husbands? If you put it in physiological terms, I think you’re fine. If it’s not getting up, it’s not getting up – we’re all familiar with the plumbing and what opens the spigot. That’s how I approach it with my own wife who has struggled some with weight in the past but has herself in excellent shape nowadays. She’ll also catch herself occasionally being naggy/bossy and apologizes for being “grouchy”.
It’s a decent entree as well into the psychology of what makes a man attractive to his wife.
” … One night during fellowship, she claims several of our male members were looking at an attractive girl walking by. She publicly called out the men on their sin, and told us that she could no longer fellowship with us because of how sinful the men were.”
The hypocrisy of women on this point cannot be overstated.
These very women (wives) who condemn their husbands glances at other women, all to often dress in a provocative manner to attract the attention of other men — thereby promoting in other men the very behavior she is condemning about her husband.
There was a 1950’s movie (I can’t recall) where some man called a woman out for her dress and lack of comportment in this regard — he used the term … she’s … “flaunting her sex.“
‘As an excuse/justification to use porn? Negative.’
I wouldn’t use that as an excuse…but what I don’t get is why all the justification and excuses for women withholding sex from their husbands is somehow ok.
It is also worth observing how difficult it is to avoid porn. This was not the case fifty (or even twenty) years ago. Imagine locking a child in a sweet shop and then telling him that you are going to go away for half an hour and that when you return he must not have eaten any of the sweets. This would be a cruel test but the machine on which I am typing is effectively a Porn sweet-shop. No effort or cost other than a few clicks will bring up more erotica than I could happily consume.
Mark said:
They all have dildos!(maybe not the married..but the divorced?….they have a closet full).My oldest sister(age 46),has attended them before.How do I know? Her 16 year old son(my nephew) has searched through bedroom,when she is away.He tells me this stuff……..And I,the “Good Uncle”…have to explain it to him.I do not lie to him.I tell him the truth.The supreme irony?…we men are pigs for watching porn?….but,these wimminz have a closet full of “fake penises”?????…..Ya Right!!!!………..what a joke!
A woman who works at a sex shop said many dildos now have a USB chargers and many are sold to business women, who charge them up on their laptops while on the road.
@ Laura: “the steady drip, drip, drip of watching such programs could cause chronic dissatisfaction.” Dalrock writes about this in
https://dalrock.wordpress.com/?s=The+whispers
@Bubba: “almost all of us are guilty of violating Matthew 5 by fantasizing about someone who is not our spouse.”
Jesus did not engage in thought policing. Random sexual thoughts for a hotty walking in front of you in a thong is not sinful. Looking in lust- which the notes of my Bible define as “more than just a passing thought”- is sinful. So no, almost all of us are NOT guilty, of that massively overblown sin anyway. Jesus was speaking rhetorically when he said this stuff about divorce = adultery. He even walks it back later (because the disciples were so freaked out about His “hard teachings” saying:
10The disciples said to Him, “If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry.” 11But He said to them, “Not all men can accept this statement (that you can never divorce your wife) but only those to whom it has been given…. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it.”
Jesus spoke in metaphor and hyperbole al the time. In the preceding verse (yes the exact verse preceding his admonitions about adultery and marriage) he says: “If your eye offends…pluck it out,” Yet EVERY SINGLE exogist admits He is talking in hyperbole and he didn’t literally mean you should mutilate yourself! So in the NEXT SENTENCE he gives another totally unreasonable hyperbolic statement- “You can never divorce no matter how awful and evil your wife might be unless you catch her cheating.”
On top of all that, let us recall that Jesus was addressing a First Century audience where the concept of a “sex denying wife” was not even considered to be possible. Where the patriarchy ruled and men held almost all the power. Where custody of children was by law given to the men. These were just assumed. Now compare to today- women hold all the power. Women gleefully deny sex and use it to control their husbands. Then in the process they lose complete attraction and become raging bitches. Do you really think that the merciful Jesus, Son of God, intended his words for the 21st Century Beta living in the Matrix?
@Ang: “more than one woman say written porn aka erotica is not the same as visual porn.
I wonder why women think this way and why they think visual porn is cheating.”
Because they can. Because society encourages whatever women want to do. Because enough good men have not done what Adam SHOULD have done and stepped up by telling them to knock it the hell off and go make me a sammich.
Plus…Yougogirrrrriilllllll!
@IBB (Feb 19@11:33): I see the female version of you has raised his(her) head again. What you wrote is pure rationalization hamster and from such a femcentric perspective our suspicions are confirmed (again).
@Deti and a number of posters: I really can’t believe the women who deny sex to their husbands AND decry their husbands use of porn as “infidelity” when it is THE WOMEN who are being untrue to their marital vows, not the sad sack Blue Pill beta wringing out a desperate one for his aching blue balls. Recall the scene from Twilight: Her: You look at porn…Him: Well I don’t get anything from you…Her: And you won’t…because (you won’t bend to my will and I am free to use sex as a weapon but your use of porn diminishes my power to TORTURE YOU WITHOUT MERCY so it must be decried).
Any woman who openly states she can deny sex for any reason or for no reason, but the man has no option for relief despite her arbitrary caprice…should be divorced immediately. She is violating her vows in a more cruel way than even a woman committing infidelity. She is deliberately and consciously torturing her husband and I think it is to fulfill her sadistic 50 SOG fantasies. A denying wife who decries porn use is a cruel and very deliberate bully. She is getting off and getting her little burst of pleasure chemicals that God intended her to get from sex by instead torturing her husband.
Like Marx might have said today: This can only happen if we let it happen. We have nothing to lose but our chains, we have a world to win.
Jerking men of the world, unite!
Edit: I meant “Firproof” not Twilight in my first @Deti paragraph. Got my divorce porn mixed up with my chick porn.
@Oscar – I said Diana to represent the modern feminist ideal of the solitary independent warrior woman.
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We just had that discussion in which Esco soundly refuted any claim that viewing porn is not sinful.
I appreciate the kind words, but I don’t think I actually accomplished that. As noted, my knowledge of scripture and theology is not great–and certainly inferior to that of at least half a dozen posters here, none of whom elected to make a detailed case of why porn is, in fact, sin.
I did assert two things:
1) Under any consistently rational understanding of morality which takes its bearings from the nature of man, porn is a vice. It’s a not a virtue or a good, nor is it “neutral” in any way. It’s bad.
2) It seems preposterous to me that the same Bible that regulates sex for a number of higher purposes would somehow allow (or at least look the other way at) porn, which undermines those very goods which the Bibilical regulation of sex would seem to be in place to achieve. The case that “porn is not a sin” boiled down to “it’s not explicitly forbidden.” OK, well, apparently anal fornication is not explicitly forbidden either; is that not a sin?
Phillyastro says:
February 20, 2015 at 10:27 am
“I said Diana to represent the modern feminist ideal of the solitary independent warrior woman.”
I see. In that case, Artemis may have been the better choice.
If porn on the internet is free, who is providing it, and why? Are there banner ads, or do you click to go to more graphic porn which DOES charge a fee? How does this business model work?
It’s an advertising business model primarily. Even though only a small number of the ads are clicked through, people pay for the advertising simply because of the high volume of eyeballs exposed to the ads. There are also subscription websites, but I remember reading somewhere that only a very, very small percentage of the viewers of internet porn actually subscribe to a website.
If porn on the internet is free, who is providing it, and why? Are there banner ads, or do you click to go to more graphic porn which DOES charge a fee? How does this business model work?
It’s like “ladies nights” at a bar, where women get in without a cover charge, and get free or reduced-cost drinks The bar isn’t going to make any money off them – in fact, they may well lose money on them: in business terms it’s similar to a loss leader. But the object is to increase the number of women present, because that draws in men, who pay full price for themselves and whatever they buy for the women.
If you’re not at the table, you’re on the menu.
Think of free websites like that. It doesn’t even have to be porn – it can be anything. A lot of news sites operate that way as well. They offer content (news, commentary, porn, pictures of cats playing the piano, music videos, etc) to draw in eyeballs, and those eyeballs see the advertisements, which is the real service being purveyed.
Martel: Feb 19,11.55:
Hmmmm! The silence is deafening elsewhere also!
OOOPS!!!!
https://planktonlife.wordpress.com/
@Novaseeker & Lyn87
Thanks for the explanations. I am familiar with the “free” model for news sites, etc., I was just starting from the assumption that porn would be expensive to produce, and the fact that those costs would need to be recovered somehow. But the cost of producing porn is probably a lot less than in the old days when film was expensive, and there was a real need to work either in secret, or at least very discreetly.
And people still wonder why men are going their own way and giving up marriage and relationships with females today?
Regarding the Alpha “Christian,” married male, should he give a crap if his wife is reading the modern romance novels that contain “fuck” on every page and, or explicit sex scenes all over the place, or is this kind of behavior shit and shouldn’t be accepted?
Dalrock…
So, looking for a simple answer (or is this complex), but from what I would understand, the husband, as head of the marriage, leader, should be able to tell his wife not to read the modern “New Adult & College” or any other erotic novels? Would you agree to that? Is it that simple, or does one have a “choice” in what is read?
I hadn’t paid attention before to what my wife was reading (the last few years of our marriage has been cooking, health books and relaxed, classic romance novels), and it wasn’t until last year mid-summer that she signed up for kindle unlimited and shortly began downloading “Romance” novels with hunky guys depicted on the covers. I didn’t noticed that until this year and started browsing through some of the books and am personally appalled at the language (some of the books with the word “fuck” on every page) and erotic sex scenes. When I confronted her about it, she said she mostly skips through the sex scenes and finds some of them actually funny (like eyes rolling type thing) and reads the books mostly just for the romance of it. And a lot of them she actually didn’t really read and just jumped through them, but hey, why would a person actually download a book called “Dirty Bad Strangers,” Stepbrother romances, Arrogant Bastard, Bad Boy Arrangement?”
Frankly, it kind of just, really, pisses me off and I partially wanted to say, if you want to read that crap, then you live through these romances and fantasies with out me if our life isn’t good enough to live in the present. Now of course, she says she doesn’t fantasize about other guys or what not, etc, etc. And hey, our sex life has always been great and we’ve pretty much have had a happy marriage, but then what the hell is the allure of Romance novels. Apparently just a love story….as she’s said, she’s always enjoyed reading.
I don’t mind good classic stuff, but if I started dating a woman and she was reading a bunch of these novels, it would have been a flag for me and I might just as well have jumped ship then. I don’t believe in the modern, sex ridden culture that these things are good for the bedroom to the point that so what if one might have read a book and now is all heated and wants to jump your bones because then frankly it sure is hell wasn’t me who got my partner heated up in the first place.
I believe in the Union of marriage, the “oneness” between husband and wife.
So, yeah, since that discussion, I’ve been hitting the weights, pumping the iron; burn some of that anger out, feel good about my body, and heck, just look better.
I’d really like to get a response from you. It would seem the only way for contact you though is through posting in the forum as I don’t see any email contact info.