Father’s Day predictably brings out diverse sentiments in our post marriage world. For Christian leaders it brings out contempt for husbands and fathers, including the now traditional (if not obligatory) sermon tearing down men in front of their families. Christians who need more contempt for fathers can of course always supplement the Father’s Day sermon by watching Christian movies like Courageous and Mom’s Night Out.
For women who either chose to have children without marrying, or chose to expel their children’s father from the home, Father’s Day brings out attempts to rationalize why children don’t really need fathers anyway. As a sign of the times, Disney’s Babble brings us two pieces of rationalization by women who chose to be single mothers. My Daughter Has a Father, but I Wish She Had a Daddy is standard for the single mother rationalization genre (albeit with an adoption twist).
More unusual is an article by Dresden Shumaker titled My Son Doesn’t Have a Dad, But We Still Celebrate Father’s Day. Shumaker explains that she is a single mom by choice who was raised by a single mom, and refers to her son’s father as his donor.
His donor is not his parent. He knows this, I know this, and some days I need to remind others of this.
She explains that she and her fatherless son celebrate Father’s Day by pretending her son’s cat gave him Father’s Day presents.
In the past, W has been gifted small trinkets on Father’s Day from his stuffed animals. This year, his new kitty will be the gift-giver. W has been an amazing pet parent to his cat and I have been so proud watching him learn and embrace new responsibilities. Being honored on Father’s Day is a small way to remind W of this.
This is a family tradition that her grandmother started doing with Shumaker when she herself grew up without a father. It is also, incredibly, a family tradition that she believes sets the stage for her son to one day celebrate Father’s Day with his own children:
…I can bet those of us raising sons hope that one day they will be fathers with a bookcase full of “Happy Father’s Day” gifts.
This year, my son is one step closer to filling up that shelf.
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“Donor” as in His donor is not his parent. He knows this, I know this, and some days I need to remind others of this.
I knew of one single woman who went the official donor route, and another who just charted her cycle and picked a man – who she referred to as “the sperm donor” – for a weekend. Funny how this echoes the myths that Gimbutas told about ancient matriarchies.
Whatever happens to Dresden Shumaker’s offspring I fear it won’t be very pretty. Some sons of feminist mothers wind up with a whole cargo of anger towards women by the time they are in their 20’s. Not something conducive to becoming a father.
Co-parenting a cat with her son in the role of her missing husband…something tells me that cat is not going to die of natural causes
Yes…..I’d put that cat on suicide watch.
Hahaha! Yes, I’m sure your son will have man years of father’s day gifts.
“Only if he finds a better woman than his mother and grandmother”
Which, unless he expatriates, is about as likely as a baseball player duplicating both Lou Gehrig’s consecutive games played record AND his record of four home runs hit in a single game (June 3, 1932). Unfortunately, this poor boy will be too damaged and too full of (well justified) hatred of women by that point in his life to want to have anything whatsoever to do with marriage (prediction: either a new generation’s Ted Bundy or a Heartiste/Krauser/Roosh clone with ten times the inner malice).
How convenient too that comments in response to Mizz Shumaker’s display of moral vomitus are possible only through Facebook (a.k.a. the YouGoGrrrrrrl echo chamber).
Anticipating Yoda (and apologies to him in advance): “Despicable piece of shit she is.”
His only chance is expatriation. For a boy like this, raised within a feminist environment at home, then to have all that reinforced at every school and/or college, there is no escape. He’ll know its not right but he will feel alone. If he’s lucky he’ll find a friend or two who feel the same way, but most likely he’ll join the thousands of men in prison or who turn to drugs to make sense of it. How else can one make sense of it? To all men in this private little hell, cast your sights on south east Asia. To find a time in the West when men and women treat each other as the Asian do today, you’d have to go back about 250 years.
I actually enjoyed Moms Night Out. Of course, I didn’t like the depiction of the fathers as stupid, but there were many funny moments.
My husband and I often watch action or sci-fi movies together, and I find it’s quite possible to enjoy the plot and other elements, whilst having to look away at most of the violent bits.
I know a woman who used a donor to conceive a fatherless child. Predictably, the kid at around age 4 told her, “I wish I had a daddy.” She posted this on Facebook and of course received intense validation from all her friends that a family is simply any group of people that loves each other.
By saying that children don’t need fathers and women don’t need them to raise children successfully, you cut the legs out from under the arguments for child support.
I have had to go through my own time realizing my mother greatly limited who I am when she kicked my dad out of the home. I find women like these to be incredibly selfish. A grandfather can be great, but is not a father.
It just disgusts me.
http://www.returnofkings.com/65743/saint-benedict-and-restoring-civilization
Somewhat unexpected for RoK.
So when Ms Schumacher’s son “W” grows up and becomes a maladjusted young man with anger and violence issues, is she going to appeal to the cat to keep him in line?
[i]Co-parenting a cat with her son in the role of her missing husband…something tells me that cat is not going to die of natural causes[/i]
Oh? You think it’s a bad idea to raise a child to equate cats with fatherly love? Five bucks says he grows up to be a furry and unable to have sex unless he’s dressed up as a cat.
@BradA
Yes, I absolutely concur. Similar story, my parents divorced when I was 5. It wasn’t until I was in my 20’s that it clicked and, though difficult to accept, realized my own mom was callous and indifferent for my need of a male mentor my father would have been. He never was a drunkard, druggie, beater, thankfully I have grown to know him as I’ve aged.
Unfortunately my mom passed due to cancer so I never was able to confront her about this. The best I can do for now is be a witness for Christ to other boys and men about my background and the affects of divorce.
Do you guys follow the work of W. Bradford Wilcox? He’s on a crusade to promote marriage and is totally unaware of manosphere themes. He gets published in a wide variety of outlets.
https://twitter.com/WilcoxNMP
Spike – Half of a father’s job of teenagers is to keep the boys in line. Either your own boys or boys who want to date your daughters. Moms simply cannot do either. This poor kid doesn’t even have a grandad to take up the slack. She’s going to hate the teen years.
Assuming he doesn’t end up on a milk carton first.
By saying that children don’t need fathers and women don’t need them to raise children successfully, you cut the legs out from under the arguments for child support.
In a world ruled by law and logic that would true. Here in the world we actually live in, however …
the worst are the Chandler, Acts 29 crowd
according to them men who choose to not do night feedings etc ( cause they have to work the next day and the wife does not) are bad dads and husbands
men who sit in church while the wife looks after the kids are bad husbands and dads…
i know one couple, where the husband never sits in church and the wife always asks questions directly to the preacher, how insulting to the husband, she did not even ask him first…
yet they say he is a true male leader, and she a true woman, and if you question them they will likely call you misogynist…
and they also say men who come home from work and sit down and take a break are horrible husbands…
according to them men have to do the childcare and homemaking as soon as they get home, heck they actually believe the cooking, dishes, and homemaking is the man’s responsibility…
so every year they bash men up about this
maybe it is because they are pastors and they do not live in the real world where men have to slog to provide, not sit in a comfy couch reading books with a flexible schedule
but I am sick of it
and the fact that men do not speak out or walk out on fathers day is very telling…
What makes this behavior so appalling isn’t just it’s shamelessness; it’s that the reverse is still utterly foreign to even our culture, as it should be, which reflects the double standards and hypocrisy of the situation.
Imagine the opposite. Imagine a father bringing a girl into this world through a surrogate mother or somesuch thing to raise by himself, then treating a pet like it was her mother. Imagine this is how they celebrated Mother’s Day. Imagine if this man claimed his kids didn’t need a mother, particularly his daughters, and he could raise them on his own.
Such a man would be viewed with extreme suspicion and at the very least considered to have something profoundly wrong with him.
The difference in treatment is very clear: Fathers aren’t needed or even wanted, but mothers are.
Dear Dalrock:
This time of year provides quite the fertile field for your blog. No doubt you’re eager, as I am, to hear Barack Obama’s speech on Sunday (probably from the pulpit of some historically Black church) in which he celebrates the fine tradition of insulting every father in America.
None of us should ever forget young brothers like this. These future men are reason enough for us to agitate, in whatever way we can, by whatever means expedient, to hasten the demise of this (thoroughly rotten) society.
Regards,
Boxer
Thornstruck,
It sounds like your mom was a bit harder than my mother. Both my mother and father had distant parents, so they were not as connected in marriage as they could be. My father was not an angel, but my mother did not know the bad things he did when she pushed for divorce. I was the reason they married, so they had a shaky foundation from the start.
I do appreciate what she did for my sister and I in spite of all this, but she could not handle any criticism or dislike of how things happened. That made it unlikely we would have ever worked things out.
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These people are completly fucked up in the head, I can feel the wrongness of what they are saying and doing at a gut level. Her son will become a huge beta at best and a transfaggot mutant at worst.
By saying that children don’t need fathers and women don’t need them to raise children successfully, you cut the legs out from under the arguments for child support.
Well, the thing is that in some places donors can actually be successfully sued for child support. It isn’t universal but there have been cases where sperm donors have been made to pay child support precisely because they are the biological fathers. It certainly isn’t 10% airtight for sperm donors, although it does vary by state.
On the broader issue, it really makes plain what everyone here already knows: fatherhood, in the era of feminist matriarchy, is solely dependent on whether the mother wants it to exist. A mother can choose full fatherhood (i.e., married to the bio dad), reduced, or semi-, fatherhood (divorced with “visitation” or “shared parenting” arrangements), or no practical fatherhood but financial, or no fatherhood at all. It’s a menu for mothers, now, and they can switch between different menu items at any time without cost to themselves. Fathers have precisely as much of a role in their children’s lives as the mother, at any point in time, wants and is willing to accept.
Of course, anyone who has been paying attention should not be surprised by this. You can’t really retain a meaningful fatherhood on a mass scale when you ditch patriarchy. More than anything else, patriarchy was about securing fatherhood — securing paternity, which is the basis of fatherhood. When you get rid of it, you ipso facto undermine fatherhood in a way that motherhood can never be undermined because fatherhood is simply more tenuous than motherhood is. And so we shouldn’t be surprised that in a society which has loudly and triumphantly and enthusiastically discarded patriarchy, that fatherhood is amorphous, tenuous, uncertain and in many ways simply failing.
A society can’t have this both ways, really. Either you support fatherhood institutionally, and get more fathers and less fatherlessness, or you undermine fatherhood institutionally in the name of equality and empowering women and their reproductive and romantic freedoms, and you get less fathers and more fatherlessness. It isn’t rocket science. But our society is so “all in” committed to burying all aspects of patriarchy under the banner of female liberation and empowerment that it will choose, again and again and again, every manner of artificial and nonsensical support mechanism to prop up fatherlessness, rather than simply admitting that it was a bad idea to get rid of patriarchy. In other words, as between less freedom/empowerment for women and more fathers, on the one hand, and more freedom/empowerment for women and less fathers (and more fatherlessness), our society will happily choose the latter, and with gusto and enthusiasm, and will simply find more props to support fatherless families.
My husband and I often watch action or sci-fi movies together, and I find it’s quite possible to enjoy the plot and other elements, whilst having to look away at most of the violent bits.
The violence I’ve grown accustomed to, for better or worse. I find that the family dynamic bits are the hardest things for me to ignore. Spoiler alert:
For example, hubs and I recently went to see the San Andreas. A familiar meme emerged. Wife dumps husband (played by Dwayne Johnson) for being emotionally unreachable. They have one surviving kid. A girl, of course.
She takes up with a far less manly (but richer and more dapper) guy, announcing she’s going to move in with him just as disaster strikes.
Guess who saves her life and the life of their kid? Three guesses.That kind of stuff rankles me a bit.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/carolyn-hax-huge-mistake-on-wedding-night-fuels-an-overreaction/2015/06/18/0108ef8c-095d-11e5-9e39-0db921c47b93_story.html
This is not related to your post, just something I would love to hear your take on.
Thank you,
Liadin
Do you guys follow the work of W. Bradford Wilcox? He’s on a crusade to promote marriage and is totally unaware of manosphere themes. He gets published in a wide variety of outlets.
He may very well be aware of the themes (I would guess he has at least heard of them), but even if he agreed he would not mention it because it would thoroughly undermine his position and what he is trying to do. Our themes are growing in recognition, but are nowhere near anything like “respectability” in the broader culture, and certainly not the academic culture Wilcox lives in.
The difference in treatment is very clear: Fathers aren’t needed or even wanted, but mothers are.
Yes but this is what happens when you ditch patriarchy. Motherhood is a naturally strong institution due to biology – babies come out of women’s bodies, and so the identification is very strong and universally acknowledged. Fatherhood is much more tenuous – without a test, you don’t even really know who the father is to begin with. So it starts out much more biologically tenuous. A society which chooses to undermine or utterly dismantle the social support for the biologically tenuous institution of fatherhood ends up back at the biological baseline: strong motherhood (because it needs less of a social prop to support it) and weak fatherhood. There really is no way around that once you decide to kick the legs of the chair out from under fatherhood’s social supports.
Guess who saves her life and the life of their kid? Three guesses.That kind of stuff rankles me a bit.
It was a bit secular Fireproof in terms of him having to “prove himself” to “earn” his wife back in light of his earlier sin of failing to save his daughter from drowning. But at least new guy was not portrayed positively. It did kind of make the mother look like she had terrible judgment, I think.
I do feel pity for the children of these selfish women. Their mothers have handicapped them willingly and in a way that makes it hard for them to enjoy any semblance of normalcy. Every child that comes into the world has the right to a father and a mother…but when one parent willingly takes that away, you can see why a child grows up with a lot of problems.
In fact how many men have we ever heard make the statement that a child doesn’t need a mother? It’s so far fetched I don’t think anyone would believe it. Yet somehow the idea a child doesn’t need a father is somehow accepted.
The Question says:
June 20, 2015 at 12:13 am
“Imagine the opposite. Imagine a father bringing a girl into this world through a surrogate mother or somesuch thing to raise by himself, then treating a pet like it was her mother. Imagine this is how they celebrated Mother’s Day. Imagine if this man claimed his kids didn’t need a mother, particularly his daughters, and he could raise them on his own”
It’s called the empathy test and it works as an excellent tool to flush out feminists, TQ. The problem is that when you reverse the roles, a man acting like that sounds so absurd that no man would go there. Women however are mysteriously given a free pass to behave in this way.
TWS says:
June 19, 2015 at 10:18 pm
Spike – Half of a father’s job of teenagers is to keep the boys in line. Either your own boys or boys who want to date your daughters. Moms simply cannot do either. This poor kid doesn’t even have a grandad to take up the slack. She’s going to hate the teen years.
– Totally agree, TWS. THE problem with women’s mentality. They are simply not strategic thinkers. They are often very good at doing things in the present, but when it comes to planning for the future, they can’t do it. Anyone who doesn’t believe me should consider retirement and superannuation advice. Men always prepare responsibly. For women it is always a mess.
It was a bit secular Fireproof
As is often and sadly the case, Fireproof (the “Christian” film) was worse. The wife in the secular movie never really doubted her husband’s worth or capability as a man. She was just unhappy. In Fireproof the wife is portrayed as unhappy precisely because her husband was unworthy.
I think Fireproof was a movie about what happens when two spouses try to control one another instead of loving one another.
Having a Sperm donor as a father is still traumatic… and mainstream secular society is even beginning to recognize this http://girlwithadragonflytattoo.com/2015/06/20/reflections-on-this-fathers-day/
Spike – Half of a father’s job of teenagers is to keep the boys in line. Either your own boys or boys who want to date your daughters. Moms simply cannot do either. This poor kid doesn’t even have a grandad to take up the slack. She’s going to hate the teen years.
– Totally agree, TWS. THE problem with women’s mentality. They are simply not strategic thinkers. They are often very good at doing things in the present, but when it comes to planning for the future, they can’t do it. Anyone who doesn’t believe me should consider retirement and superannuation advice. Men always prepare responsibly. For women it is always a mess.
It’s true when it comes to teenagers. The issue that they don’t foresee if they divorce when children are young is that when the boys become teenagers, many of them can no longer be bullied by their mothers. They are bigger, they are stronger, they know this, and they can and will defy a mother who tries to browbeat and bully them, as she probably did when they were smaller. They simply won’t listen and will defy.
I’ve seen this with my own son. He has no issues listening to me and getting along with me as a father. He does what I ask (maybe not that very second, but he does it in the next period of time), and we don’t really have fights or friction. But with his mother, it’s a totally different story, because she tries to parent him like he’s still a small child – lots of control, lots of micromanagement, lots of lecturing. This doesn’t work at all with a teenage boy – at least not in most cases. You need to set the tone and set the expectations, and have accountability if they are not met, but you can’t micromanage, and, as a woman at least, you can’t bully. They will make mistakes, and they will suffer the consequences of those mistakes – that is a part of the process of growing up. Many women seem very hard-pressed to deal with teenage boys who are more masculine (boisterous, pushy, pushing boundaries, etc.), as compared with the more compliant feminine type of boy. I don’t think they realize very well that their ability to parent differs when the kid is 16 from when the kid is 6. You can’t just “take stuff away” as a punishment and expect the same results you got when they were 6. It’s like there’s only one tool in the parenting toolbox or something.
But our society is so “all in” committed to burying all aspects of patriarchy under the banner of female liberation and empowerment that it will choose, again and again and again, every manner of artificial and nonsensical support mechanism to prop up fatherlessness, rather than simply admitting that it was a bad idea to get rid of patriarchy.
It won’t admit it, because it simply doesn’t think it was so.
We’re at a point that the patriarchy is distant memory or, more precisely, a myth that most of society has no conception of. It has as much relevance as, say, the First World War. In other words, none. Those who could describe what it was like are long dead.
With it being wedding season I heard an ad on the radio about a man carefully choosing a wedding ring. He did his research. He carefully selected the best quality and value diamond he could afford. Couldn’t wait to surprise his bride to be. Was so thoughtful and spoke so highly of her. While at the same time we hear it from her side as she leads him along, drops hints about where he should by the diamond, what kind she wants, and how she’s satisfied and not at all surprised when he finally presents it to her. And even though he’s not at all capable of doing things on his own, or making his own decisions, he eventually caught on to her hints and did what she wanted so she thinks she’ll keep him anyway. That is basically the message today about men. We are all worthless buffoons that have to be lead along by our wise and powerful women. With messages like that why do we need fathers? Why would you want an oaf and a buffoon raising your children? You’re better off doing it yourself or outsourcing it to other women.
‘They simply won’t listen and will defy.’
Yes it’s one of those unintended consequences that happens. When I was a teen my mom’s tactics didn’t work as well, but I still knew better because dad could still bring the hammer down.
I don’t know how the dynamic is different with teenage daughters, but I imagine disrespecting their mother can happen minus the physical strength component.
It’s amazing how many mothers seriously believe that the quality of their kids’ fathers exists outside the quality of the men they choose to sleep with.
Two Red Pill films all men ought to watch:
“3:10 to Yuma” (2007) and “McClintock”.
Yea, the vids are being mocked, but watch what used to be taught about marriage:
MST3K – Are You Ready for Marriage?
MST3K – Is this Love
“It’s amazing how many mothers seriously believe that the quality of their kids’ fathers exists outside the quality of the men they choose to sleep with.”
Yes. Well put.
The boy’s teen years will likely break this mother. I’ve seen it happen twice now: a mother in a matriarchal marriage is horrified when her teenage son talks back and shows aggression. Alert: he’s bigger than you, mom. Both mothers I witnessed are spunky and intelligent themselves. Why are they surprised when their children grow up and take after them???
Many women seem very hard-pressed to deal with teenage boys who are more masculine (boisterous, pushy, pushing boundaries, etc.), as compared with the more compliant feminine type of boy. I don’t think they realize very well that their ability to parent differs when the kid is 16 from when the kid is 6. You can’t just “take stuff away” as a punishment and expect the same results you got when they were 6. It’s like there’s only one tool in the parenting toolbox or something.
My grandson is entering his teens this year and his (single, never married, babymama) mother is going to find out, the hard and painful way, how true and real is everything you just said. I don’t want to say that I’m gloating in anticipation, but let’s just say that PopPop is quite willing to “step in and take over” once Mom’s attempt at parenting a teenage son turns into the inevitable epic fail.
The Times (of London) just published an article subtitled “the new science on why dads matter“. Here are a couple excerpts from the article.
Mothers tend to want to protect or shield their children from life’s hardships. Children raised by single mothers tend to not do as well in life.
Whereas fathers tend to prepare their children for life and being able to deal with lifes’ hardships and overcome them.
Fathers should be given custody of their children in a divorce, no matter what the age of the child and absent any other issue, like child abuse or neglect by the father.
The reality is that men make a better parent.
The thing I find most upsetting about single moms with boys is that it seems as if that boy takes the place of a husband or boyfriend as her emotional support vehicle.
Quickly Googled “Fathers Day Sermon”
No need to fuss through tons of links.
Found This Sermon.
Here are some quotes:
Happy Father’s Day , hope ya’ll get some back circles rubbed.
@Cynthia,
I agree and its abusive. But what do I tell my children when they complain about their mother? If I say anything bad about her the courts will punish me. I didn’t realize that trying to become a father would turn me into a criminal.
Also there is the fact that the non biologically related men she keeps bringing around them are the most likely person to abuse them by far. I mean my children’s daycare won’t even hire a man, even with a background check and being surrounded by women the entire time. But in this feminist hell I was born into my children spend more time with men my “wife” fucks from tinder, by far, then with their own father. But I do get to pay for the house and the bed these men fuck my “wife” in while my children sit, neglected, in the other room. My daughter drew a picture of me while she was waiting for mommy.
At this point I’m ready to burn everything down. I hope North Korea or Islam invades America so I can support them. Anything. I would rather nuclear war happen then my children have to grow up in this feminist matriarchal hell where I’m bombarded all day long with how horrible I am for not keeping her holy vagina sufficiently happy.
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AV Club:
http://www.avclub.com/article/worst-fictional-dads-jack-arnold-alexander-zalache-220938
Just in time for Father’s Day. Yuck.
“Shumaker explains that she is a single mom by choice who was raised by a single mom, and refers to her son’s father as his donor.”
What a f*cking monster.
Single moms that drop kids like pez dispensers are a kind loathesome, poverty mindset savage that turns my stomach. Single women and homosexual couples who acquire the social status of parenthood at the expense of their children’s well being are on a level of unspeakable evil. This also goes for this rest of you damnable fools in this forum hyping the artificial womb.
This is evil.
“Two Red Pill films all men ought to watch:
“3:10 to Yuma” (2007) and “McClintock”.”
How about “The Quiet Man” with John Wayne…
it’s essentially the story of a single major shit test (if I’m understanding the concept of “shit test” correctly) and the John Waynish way to deal with one…
what do you guys think?
But what do I tell my children when they complain about their mother? If I say anything bad about her the courts will punish me. I didn’t realize that trying to become a father would turn me into a criminal.
Well, bad-mouthing the other parent, even if it is true, is not a great thing to do – it puts the kids in an impossible position emotionally. As they grow older, they will figure out for themselves who was the bigger ass in their parents former marriage – they all do. In the meantime, you have to focus on damage control – do the best you can with the time and access you have, and also do your best to not beat yourself up about the stuff you cannot control because you are not allowed to influence. It’s frustrating at times, for certain, but it’s the best you can do, really, and it does help on the margins.
Lara, McClintock is all about fitness tests. Quiet Man is a more complex story in part having to do with a man standing by his word even when various people are trying to make him break it. combined with some subtle lessons about female nature.
Both should be required viewing for young people.
I haven’t seen either movie, but after reading the summary on Wiki for The Quiet Man it struck me that it can’t be a coincidence that the wife’s name is (Mary) Kate. Then I noticed that the wife is named Kate in McLintock! as well. Both strike me as variations on Taming of the shrew. Who better to play a (then) modern day
patriarchPetruchio than John Wayne.Wow! Nice catch on the “Kate” thing! All the women in my family LOVE The Quiet Man.
In real life, Wayne with women was more of an alpha with limited game.
With men, Wayne was an alpha with everyone except director John Ford, to whom he deferred.
Wayne was married three times. His first wife was a Catholic who bore him four children. At that point she decided she wanted no more children, and being Catholic, the couple’s sex life was curtailed significantly. Being a young leading man, Wayne started cheating on her. She eventually divorced him. Being a Catholic, she did not remarry until after Wayne’s death, when she was in her 70s.
His other two wives were difficult. Both Mexican women that he had a hard time controlling. The first ended in divorced, the second was separation but never divorce for about the last 10 years of Wayne’s life. Wayne’s final female companion was his personal assistant.
Wayne was alpha and smart, but lacked the shrewdness to handle women well.
I don’t see what the big deal is about Shumaker choosing to raise her son without his father. If the boy grows up to be a beta male who gets bullied in high school, she can always raise the alarm on Twitter about how outrageous it is that the other kids make him feel bad about himself, and millions of other outraged moms on Twitter will offer their support. Problem solved.
And if he goes in the opposite direction and becomes a rebellious teenager who drinks milk right out of the carton no matter how many times she tells him to pour it in a glass, she can always write a rueful article on how much she regrets raising him without a man to rein him in. Again, problem solved.
At this point I’m ready to burn everything down. I hope North Korea or Islam invades America so I can support them.
We won’t need any external forces. The feminist matriarchy will destroy itself in a more brutal and ugly manner than either of these other two forces ever would. Our job is to mitigate the amount of damage to men and boys while it happens
@ Gurney Halleck
Look what W. Bradford Wilcox retweeted:
“Some conservatives say GOP contenders need to focus on the concerns of working mothers”
Not impressed.
Dalrock, note that Maureen O’Hara was Wayne’s costar in both films. Supposedly a natural redhead, with all that implies.
The “Kate” in McLintock is much, much closer to Kate in Taming of the Shrew or for that matter the musical Kiss me, Kate.
“Well, bad-mouthing the other parent, even if it is true, is not a great thing to do – it puts the kids in an impossible position emotionally. As they grow older, they will figure out for themselves who was the bigger ass in their parents former marriage – they all do. In the meantime, you have to focus on damage control – do the best you can with the time and access you have, and also do your best to not beat yourself up about the stuff you cannot control because you are not allowed to influence. It’s frustrating at times, for certain, but it’s the best you can do, really, and it does help on the margins.”
This is how I approach shared parenting my son. Excellent advice for young divorced fathers whose lives have been almost destroyed.
@ Regular Guy,
Yea, I mentioned W. Bradford Wilcox with the hope that Dalrock starts tackling him.
I know a woman who wanted more children but her husband wouldn’t agree. So she did what her mother before her did and divorced her husband. [There were probably/possibly other issues as well that contributed to the divorce that I am not aware of.] Anyway after the divorce she used a sperm donor and had another baby [boy] and got what she wanted.
As the baby grew into a little boy he wanted to go with his siblings to visit ‘dad’, but her previous husband [nice hard working guy] would not be a part of it. Now that little boy is so messed up, and nobody can help. Australian taxes at work empowering the insane.
Off topic:
http://www.campusreform.org/?ID=6588
Dear Regular Guy:
Oh, now you’ve done it.
The minority of people who spout this stuff here are otherwise (well, most of them, anyway) rather sensible. It’s amazing to see a group of men take on the indignation of a bunch of radical feminists, yapping through the internet “Oh no you didn’t!” and “I don’t need no (wo)man!”, but there you are.
Boxer
The Quiet Man is his best except for maybe The Cowboys. But I am a life long fan so there are only a few I don’t like. The look on her face when the money goes into the reaper is priceless. You know he’s gonna get some and good that night. Of course, plans got spoiled but guys used to enjoy a good fist fight once in a while too.
Cynthia said:
“The thing I find most upsetting about single moms with boys is that it seems as if that boy takes the place of a husband or boyfriend as her emotional support vehicle.”
True. I also fear that this emotional incestuousness is the first step towards something worse. I’m very surprised that nobody so far has discussed the perverse photograph used to promote the article (an underaged child and sexually attractive, adult woman sharing a mouth-to-mouth kiss). Of course, if you call Shumaker and her kind on it, expect to receive condemnation and “how dare you sexualize this innocent picture; they’re just sharing ice cream !!!11!!”. If traditional marriage is part of some pathological “patriarchy” meant to stifle women, then why not discard traditional sexual mores too? All part and parcel of the cynical sexual envelope-pushing that [mainly progressive] single motherhood advocates tend to promote.
I recall reading various commentaries on female sexual abuse of children (much more common, BTW, than female supremacists would have you think) and how it differs from male abuse: generally, whereas many male predators admitted they had a compulsion and were taking advantage of children, female abusers tended to rationalize their abuse as romantic, with their “partners” fulfilling deep emotional needs. Society, of course, was in the wrong for “judging” their relationships, and not “understanding” the importance of their feelings.
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Need Advice – Catholic Dating
http://forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=965948
Does your husband coddle you when you’re sick?
http://forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=965851
skyrim?
http://forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=965960
I was extremely lucky that my father got custody of me and my siblings back a year after the divorce. A divorce makes things bumpy enough for childhood if you end up with the responsible parent. I can only imagine how much more stressful my life would’ve been if I would’ve had to have been the responsible parent during my childhood (I did enough of that for the year my mom had custody).
Wonder if Wilcox’s retreating is more to cast a question on the credentials of those “conservatives” than as a sign of support. This is the same guy whose research shows that marriages where there is a differentiation of roles are generally more satisfactory than companionate marriages. Not sure if he’s explicitly tackled patriarchy.
Re: John Wayne — perhaps things would have turned out better if his wife had been more faithful to what the Church teaches. Would she have listened to an right-believing priest?
oops, should be retweeting not retreating
I’m looking forward to the sermon in church today. They did a series on marriage and while they did the servant/ leader role for husbands it was in the context of wives submitting to their husbands even when they disagree and NOT nagging the husband in to change.
Mark, could you name the denomination? I”m sure that would be of interest to some readers.
Completely OT: Being the first Father’s Day since taking the “Red Pill”, I couldn’t stand the sermon this morning. I gathered my things and walked out in the first 15 minutes. I suspect it won’t be the last sermon I walk out of.
It’s non-denominational.as far as I can tell. No denomination mentioned on website. After the praise and worship music, the Pastor noted how they had recently gone over marriage and how men are called to be leaders in the home and that was a difficult task. He called all the fathers to he front and we prayed for them. The message was just a continuation of the I Peter study. So no bashing or man up. The only negative was.in the marriage series about leading is not sitting like a lump in front of the tv or game console all day or being a tyrant. Woman are the weaker vessel and that should be protected like the delicate beauty of flower rather than exploited.
Happy Father’s Day, guys.
Well, it appears that some of you made the same mistake I did today and attended church. This was my first Father’s Day service at this church (I’ve only been attending for six months), and based on my general experience, I though this church would be different when it came to the Mom can do no wrong/Dad can do no right standard theology. How silly and naive of me.
I’m glad now that I stayed home on Mother’s Day. I won’t repeat today’s mistake next year.
Why go at all feeriker? If they have that little respect for father’s how much can they have for the ultimate Father? If we are evil domineering “know it all” patriarchs how much more God? I bet he never stops to ask for directions either (haha).
@GiL
There just seems to be a massive blind spot, across the board in all North American churches, when it comes to the subject of husbands and fathers and the Scriptural prescriptions for them (and their wives and children). Yes, I know that this observation should be filed under “Blinding Flashes of the Obvious,” but like I said in my last post upthread, this church has been solid on every other message it has delivered. Indeed, even today’s message on Deuteronomy 5: 1-9 stared off on a very firm footing – until the Pastor decided to tangent off into examples of paternal irresponsibility, a topic that had NOTHING to do with the hardworking husbands and fathers who make up his congregation, working class (mostly Hispanic) men already struggling against oppressive worldly forces to do the right thing in God’s eyes. For their own church, a place that should be one of tefuge and spiritual support, to add to their burden and cut them off at the knees is just inexcusable. I don’t how many of them, if any, could be considered “red pill-aware” (many seem very close), but I felt insulted on their collective behalf – and I am not one who readily or easily takes offense.
Leaving a church service feeling angry and resentful is certainly not spiritually healthy, certainly not a pleasant feeling, and one that I’ve spent a few hours in prayer over. I’m still not sure how, when, or even if I’m going to broach the subject with the pastor, but I want to tread very carefully. He is a man I very much respect, and quite frankly, he might not have even realized the implications of what he was delivering.
Anyway, it just seems to serve as further evidence of how even the most biblically grounded of churches are infected with some form of FI Modernism.
God help us.
Leaving a church service felling angry and resentful is certainly spiritually healthy if it is in sync with how Our Lord feels about that service. The question is if you have the Lord’s heart. The answer you might get is that He is even more disgusted than you are. We shouldn’t be afraid when He calls us to meet Him “outside the camp” where “His people” have banished Him to.
Happy father’s day to all the dads!
Went to Catholic Tridentine Latin Mass today, and sermon was pretty good. The priest was critical of “the feminization of the Church”. He said that this was part of the reason for the decline in vocations.
My wife is Russian and one of the things I like about her culture is that there are several holidays where the men are unreservedly celebrated. This includes military days where universal conscription is the norm and almost entirely male. The women bring men flowers (gladiolas) acknowledge and thank them and cook for them. The thought of a modern American feminist celebrating anything male or even giving the slightest thanks for anything is almost laughable. I don’t think most are even capable of it or would know how. Even Father’s day now has just become a hallmark holiday. Wow, a card!
Meh. Russian men are universally seen as idiotic drunkards, traditionally used as cannon fodder. Even their “own” women normally despise them and look down on them, which largely explains Russia’s demographic implosion. Russian men are now at a point where they get drafted, treated like shit, sent to die in the Donbass, and then the government even denies their deaths, buries them in secret and bribes their families to keep their mouth shut. That’s just incredibly pathetic. More pathetic than the lives of American men, which is saying something. Are you going to tell me that is a culture that celebrates masculinity? Nonsense. And no, I don’t think Ukraine is any better.
I went to church. The message was a continuation and finish of a series on Samson. The message connected the passages in Judges to 1st Corinthians chapter 5. It was calling out Christians for turning a blind eye to divorce and remarriage and a call to accountability for all Christians. Nothing on fathers in particular except happy fathers day and an invitation to a father’s day lunch.
Marriage falling apart
http://forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=966020
Went to Catholic Tridentine Latin Mass today, and sermon was pretty good. The priest was critical of “the feminization of the Church”. He said that this was part of the reason for the decline in vocations.
The SSPX, for all their issues, frequently do the same. I suspect that’s they’re doing better in terms of numbers (YOY, etc).
Edit: that’s why they’re
@Dalrock
Awesome post Mr.D…..””she and her fatherless son celebrate Father’s Day by pretending her son’s cat gave him Father’s Day presents.””……How delusional and plain effin retarded is this????….What a winner this broad is!!
@earl
“”I do feel pity for the children of these selfish women. Their mothers have handicapped them willingly and in a way that makes it hard for them to enjoy any semblance of normalcy.””
Yes!…so do I! My nephew(16) packed his bags a few months ago,told his mother “FU” and went to live with his father.Of which, I fully support! She made a big stink over it,even got the cops involved.Then my father,myself and brother stepped into it.Told the cops to “get lost” and told my sister point blank…”if you make any trouble for your ex WE will drop the hammer on you”.She got the message.My ex-BIL has always had visitation but,my brother and I always ran interference for him.He would see his kids at least twice a week…not twice a month!
I see that there is another Mark present.I am using Mark(TO)…”Toronto” so there will be no confusion..L*
I refuse to donate anything to this anti-Christ immoral generation of women. Thou shalt not have my seed, property, support, etc… nothing.
They will have to live off of the money they misuse the government to extort in taxes, fines, and fees to float their negative unnatural dysfunctional state.
But the debt and interest are growing rapidly to support the negative unnatural dysfunctional state they’ve created from a once moral society that brimmed with nuclear families.
Soon, they’ll have to opt for straight socialism which will result in a material decline in productivity followed by a socio-economic decline into depression and subsequent social upheaval. Wait for it…
@feeriker:
The best approach is always to follow the example God showed us with the Prophet Nathan, with regards to David. Once you remove the “story” from the personal to the abstract context, it let’s the Spirit convict their soul when you directly correct them for their failure.
If they are honest in their attempts at being faithful, the pain alone should bring about repentance. Then, you’ve also made a good friend.
I have nothing to say. That’s insane.
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JDG,
My church was similar. The pastor doesn’t have mother’s day/father’s day sermons. He has his plan and it includes the entire church. FYI, I’m fairly new to this church.
At the men’s breakfast this Saturday, I voiced my concerns about men being unprepared for roles and church leadership (in broad terms, because we’re a particularly small church) undermining the roles of men. I also said theoretical advice and guidance should be tested in role-playing situations, so older Christian men can see what younger men are up against. I voiced the good and the bad to be drawn from Fireproof and made it very clear that it shouldn’t be suggested to couples in trouble because of the complete absence of spiritual growth of the wife and no recognition that she accepts her Biblical roles and responsibilities. An elder in the church, who raved about it just weeks ago, looked like the light bulb went off.
It resonated across the age groups, though especially with the younger men.
We agreed to set up a monthly workshop. We will start with fundamentals for every man (not just those in husband or father roles).
I’m fairly encouraged. The pastor has been consistently unflinching in teaching the Word and not softening it or dividing his flock. it’s a known conservative denomination, but it doesn’t mean it can’t tack into troubled waters without constant vigilance.
I’ll let you know how things develop.
@Anchorman
That is excellent news. Please let use know how the workshop goes, what fundamentals you discuss, or maybe the framework you use to discuss Biblical Headship or the rejection of the servant leadership doormat model.
I’ve joined a church myself that has an active Men’s Ministry, so I’d like to read similar experiences or receptivity to these topics.
Went to an RCC for Fathers Day. No direct attack, but two things stood out to me. First, the sermon/homily dwelt on trusting God rather than worrying about planning/strategizing (husbandry?). Second was that while there were prayers for our pols to talk their way to peace through non-violence, there were no prayers for our soldiers currently in the field.
Frankly, I’m unable to determine if I’m being too sensitive to this stuff or not at this point.
Dear Mark in T-dot:
Wimminz, they’re so predictable! They don’t need no man, until it’s time to have some other man controlled.
Good on ya for the intervention. If she wanted to boss her kids about, she should have stayed married.
Best,
Boxer
Jonathon AC,
Are talking about Matt Chandler? I agree. Listened to him a couple of times, couldn’t put my finger on it exactly. I have a friend who likes him a lot. He couldn’t figure out why I didn’t like him, but I wasn’t going to tell him.
When will we finally realize that the decline in Western Civilization is directly related to the uptick in Toxoplasma gondii infections.
When You Have No Choice But To Divorce
http://www.catholicmatch.com/institute/2015/06/when-you-have-no-choice-but-to-divorce/
—
Interesting choice of image…
After many years of seeing kids growing up in broken homes, I can see clearly that the father IS the most important parent. If the custody of children was given to fathers our society would be in much better shape than now.
I skipped church myself, though largely because I didn’t want to be reminded again that I didn’t get children of my own. (See my past replies related to our adopted children for more.)
The pastor is in Israel and I have been talking to him very bluntly about things the past few weeks as a way to see if this is a church for us. It fits overall, though I am personally very jaded now. He was in Israel though, so a guest speaker spoke and I have no idea what was said. I may listen to the podcast version since I can stop if that seems a waste of time.
An article from today (6/25) that you may be interested in:
http://www.scarymommy.com/articles/nothing-is-scarier-than-an-unmarried-mom
Touches several topics relevant to the blog.
Anchorman says:
June 22, 2015 at 8:08 am
This is great news. Looking forward to the updates.
http://www.scarymommy.com/articles/nothing-is-scarier-than-an-unmarried-mom
Run, do not walk, to the nearest exit.
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