Sarah Bregel has the credentials, but can she compete in this already crowded field?
Sarah Bregel has joined a long list of mommy writers who converted their kids’ misfortune into career success. Bregel used her new status as professional divorcée to get published at Slate, with The work of marital maintenance is a privilege not everyone can afford.
Bregel’s piece is about another mother informing her that divorce has lowered her status:
A few months ago, my husband and I announced we were parting ways after eight years of marriage. The response has mostly been supportive, though a few reactions hinted at something else: the idea that I simply didn’t do enough to make my marriage work. This well-meaning acquaintance and would-be marriage counselor thought Target was the place to tell me what I’d done wrong, just as others had before: I didn’t take enough date nights; I didn’t employ enough teenage babysitters; I didn’t go to therapy with enough consistency. I also didn’t take “marital maintenance vacations,” (which is what vacays sans kids are called these days, or so I’ve been told by fellow parents who often take them). I didn’t even take staycations, which, if you didn’t know, is when the kids go to grandma’s for a week so you can stay in your pajamas and spoon-feed one another tiramisu.
To be clear, this is not about wealth, vacations, marriage counselors or baby sitters. It is also not about keeping romantic love alive (keeping mama happy). This is about class and status. Bregel’s status dropped when she signaled to the world around her that raising her kids in an intact home wasn’t a priority. Bregel’s kids are no longer a good match for the married mother’s kids to hang out with (although it sounds like this already wasn’t common). It would be considered crass for the married mother to say this outright, but she used the cover of advice to get this message across. Clearly Bregel got the message, which is why the “advice” stung so much.
Bregel responded in the only way she knew. She wrote an article accusing the mothers who remain married to their children’s father of having privilege. The subtext is sure they have higher status (for who can deny it?), but they didn’t earn it. Bregel closes with:
What’s not said enough is that becoming passing ships doesn’t just happen out of sheer negligence, though. Romantic dinners and getaways might be one helpful component to a lasting marriage. But imagining everyone has that kind of freedom is a certain kind of privilege. No, money might not buy happiness, but it does buy more date nights, therapy, and those ever-loving adults-only vacations I keep hearing about. I missed the boat on that one, but you go ahead and sip that piña colada at your all-inclusive resort. I’ll be over here babysitting all the neighborhood kids and writing about fitness gear at 4 a.m. so I can finance my divorce.
When Bregel submitted the piece to Slate, the editors obviously knew it was a winner. Married mothers can gloat over their higher status while feigning concern for the unfortunate. Baby mamas can join in mock solidarity to express their outrage at being excluded by the higher class married mothers, dooming them to the company of their fellow trashy single mothers. Everybody wins. Almost everybody that is.
Related: Harming your kids for attention and profit.
H/T: Heidi
They always find some dignity in their denial, even if it’s second class.
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Modern women ask this question now:
Mirror mirror on the wall…am I the biggest victim of them all?
Yeah, you go do that, you stupid, fucking whore.
These women are pathetic. Woe is me! Woe is me! No, bitch, woe be to your children, who will now be put through divorce hell, with mommy and daddy fighting over kitchen scraps, whilst they starve and the divorce lawyers make off like bandits. Good going!
Wonderful. She just created a Marxist analysis of Charles Murray’s research in his Coming Apart in America. Upper class women stay married; middle and lower class women divorce/become single mothers.
This is one thing that annoys me in all this women worship stuff. Kids are harmed and no one even cares, including many prominent preachers. They invert submission and ignore the impact on kids. It is reprehensible.
I’d say it’s a tie between abortion and divorce on which tears up a child the most.
And no I’m not being hyperbolic.
Sort of On Topic: Divorced American mom marries Muslim terrorist, lives to regret it.
http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/beaten-tortured-sexually-abused-an-american-isis-widow-looks-for-a-way-home/
“Sally’s journey to the former Caliphate begins in Elkhart, Indiana, where she and Elhassani worked at a delivery company. They lived with Matthew, her son from her first marriage to a US soldier, and their daughter Sarah.”
That’s right. She married a Soldier, had son with him, divorced him, then married a Muslim, had a daughter with him, and took off to Syria with the whole “family”. Surely she got little Matthew’s dad’s permission to take him to Syria, right?
As for the androsphere stereotypes; they abound, as you knew they would!
“Pushed as to how a woman adequately assertive to divorce her first husband in her 20s was now so submissive in a bustling Turkish city, she said: ‘This was years in the making. He separated me from my family. I could not see that he was the one that was wrong. It was always “no, my husband is right”‘.”
Did she ever say to herself, “no, my husband is right” during her first marriage? Come on, we all know the answer to that question!
“Days later, they found themselves on the border… ”
Note the passivity; “they FOUND themselves on the border”. Apparently, they just magically appeared on the border between Turkey and Syria, having made no choices, or taken any actions of their own to get there.
“… Sally faced with the agonizing choice. She insists the crossing was forced and then felt she could have come back again to Turkey later.
‘People can think whatever they want but they have not been put in a place to make a decision like that’, she says.”
Right. She was “put in a place to make a decision like that”. By whom? Whose choices and actions led to her being in that place?
Also…
“Sally does not outwardly appear a devout ISIS wife. She has a large blue tattoo of pursed lips on the right side of her neck and a nose ring. She smokes, and appears defiantly dismissive of the suggestion she must have known more about her husband’s plans to join the Caliphate than she admits.”
Seriously, you can’t make this stuff up. Read the whole thing. Unbelievably, it gets worse.
I listened to the lyrics of a song that describe modern females (and some males) to a tee.
Freedom of choice is what you got, freedom from choice is what you want.
No, money might not buy happiness, but it does buy more date nights, therapy, and those ever-loving adults-only vacations I keep hearing about”
We’ve never had these things. Our marriage must be a shambles! And yet, here we are, just…not divorcing. Seriously, just don’t leave. That’s all it takes.
Earl is already in contention for top comment with “mirror mirror…”
“they FOUND themselves on the border”
lol. This is the old – “and then a fight/war broke out”.
I have to say I’m impressed that women have the ability to turn blowing your marriage up into a cry for pity and victim status. How does this even work? I can’t wrap my brain around it.
@Oscar
You know what she just said? She got here by telling everyone around her to pack sand. Everyone was telling her this was a bad idea and she stuck her fingers up and kept right on going. Yeah. Mysterious how this all went down. Probably laughed at her ex when he begged her not to take his kid to Syria.
Paging squid_hunt to the com box, we’re in need of another 5 word fact packed statement like “Old slut yells at clouds.”
Please.
getalonghome,
You know you are preaching to the choir, but the lack of resolve by so many is still amazing.
This is paid for by the preposterous transfer of resources from men to women + deficit spending.
In the last 18 years, the US Federal Government has collected $50T in Taxes.
It has also spent about $65T (mostly on women).
The $15T gap is what has been added to the deficit (i.e. it grew from $7T to $22T).
Taxes are already high, but $15T above that was spent. Most of the $65T spent was a transfer from men to women. From Sarah Bregel to Jenny Erikson to Wendy Griffith, this is what the forced transfer has subsidized.
What’s even more ridiculous is that all of the problems she complains about—not having enough money or time, etc—are going to be exacerbated by splitting into two households.
The divorce isnt solving the most pressing problems…unless the lack of tingles is the most pressing problem.
Uncle Sam is the husband to most women in the US and I doubt they even know it.
It bears repeating…I don’t fear what any woman can do to a marriage…I fear what the state and courts do.
“Sally … has a blue tattoo of pursed lips on the right side of her neck and a nose ring. She smokes, and appears defiant…”
I left out the rest as superfluous.
Anyway, this describes to a T the shallow, selfish, ignorant, careless, dangerous skank that is representative of 90-plus percent of post-Gen X American women today. I can’t help but think that the terrorist scumbag she married has always known that she’s a trashy whore and will get rid of her one way or another as soon as she’s no longer useful.
I couldn’t bring myself to finish reading the rest of the linked article. After the first three paragraphs I found myself feeling angry at the fact that “Sally” was still above ground and breathing. Much as I’d love to see her son returned to his father, one must still question that man’s judgment/taste in women for ever having married such an obvious PoS like Sally in the first place.
dragnet,
What’s even more ridiculous is that all of the problems she complains about—not having enough money or time, etc—are going to be exacerbated by splitting into two households.
Women don’t understand cause and effect very well.
Plus, ‘feminism’, far from helping women, has instead exposed the full extent of female inferiority (moral, intellectual, ethical, civic, economic, parental, spiritual) far more visibly than was ever possible before ‘feminism’.
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Really it gave women the idea they could be men…and they are inferior to men when they try to go that route. If they stick to their role…they aren’t inferior.
@earl – Is there anything DEVO can’t explain?
I checked out her Facebook and her blog. To save you all the trouble I have gone too on your behalf – it was a horrid job but someone had to bite the bullet – you need to know that Mrs Bregel is your typical tatted female lefty, who despite living in Baltimore and being able to afford health care has the rottenest life because even though her husband although only twenty-nine (at her request) had the snip spends all his time working for the good of his family – the sheer selfishness of the man! though perhaps it is actually to get away from her. A photograph reveals that he and she do NOT look a natural match – he the mountaineering or perhaps red-neck or neck-beard type and she if my eyes don’t deceive me of the tribe. Kvetch kvetch kvetch. I’d say she is a five – on a good day. I am not saying he could have done better but if that was the best he could do then he should have remained single at least a little longer which fate she is now forcing on him anyway. Very much of the Leif Erickson mode.
I am just so insensitive to the plight of the most privileged women the world has ever known. I need to enroll for sensitivity training.
@Opus: Did you read her piece on telling her husband that she wanted a divorce? It made her look like such a bitch–he’s crying and telling her he loves her, and she decides she’ll try again, but then he’s looking at his phone and other, similar heinous crimes. Her small children are going to be very angry with her when they get old enough to realize what she did.
I think Dalrock hits on the main point, which as I have lurked over the years, he has hit on before. The woman giving the “unsolicited” advice, was simply coding what everyone knows, but since it was retroactive (meaning, the “bad act” had already occurred), she was simply and accidentally saying the truth:
“Maybe you should have done more, because no one wants their kids hanging out with kids from single moms…no one is going to say that to you directly, so I will soften it by talking about how date nights might have worked, etc…since you keep talking about your divorce here in Target, anyway..As a woman, I am doing essentially what men do when they talk to men who had kids out of wedlock..’you should have zipped it up’ (although the analogy only goes so far)…I’m telling you: you should have kept it together…you have a lowered status now, and so do your kids…expect this every time you whine to another woman who is married with kids…”
I guess much like seeing a trainwreck I had to take a peak. The her wearing that pink female genitalia hat and SJW causes they went on weren’t good signs either.
I can’t believe someone just made a libertardian argument here. Governments MUST run deficits as it is the only way for the money supply to expand FREE OF INTEREST. This is not Roman times where Prefects appoint state bankers to issue interest free loans when debt burdens become too high, nor do we have debt jubilees. We also do not live in a Muslim country where compound interest is banned, so there is an exponentially increasing demand for dollars for every new dollar created by a bank as a form of a loan. No, banks are not intermediaries of loanable funds. They are delegated the power to create and allocate political capital by the State.
Is political power used to enable women? Absolutely. But utilizing libertarian logic gets us no where, and it is a continued reason why the right fails. The United States of America is the most powerful nation in the history of mankind. If you are so ignorant that you believe this Empire must borrow money only it has the sovereign right to create, you’re hopelessly incapable of changing the path we are currently on.
Her Longreads post about her so-called thought process leading up to unilaterally divorcing her husband is disgusting and enraging. Can’t wait for that “memoir about motherhood and marriage” she purports to be working on currently.
Can’t wait for that “memoir about motherhood and marriage” she purports to be working on currently.
1. It will be an extended screed of self-justification.
She feels guilty. She feels judged by everyone. She knows she did something wrong, but can’t admit it, even to herself. Thus the book will be her attempt to exorcise her guilt by refuting every argument (stated or unstated) against her behavior.
It won’t work. As with gays, the louder she shouts her pride, the more persistently her guilt will haunt her.
2. Her second book will be her journey of self-discovery. A celebration of a Strong, Independent, Single Mom who finds self-actualization after a liberating divorce, and goes on to raise Amazing kids thanks to mom’s courageous decision to seek her True Self.
Like the fox without a tale, she’ll try to convince other women to follow her lead.
3. Third book will be about all the Shitty Man-Boys she’s pursued since her divorce, who are afraid to commit to a Strong, Independent, Single Mom.
After her third book, she will have run out of material. Unless she self-publishes hackneyed romance rape fantasies?
The problem is obvious. So is the solution.
Hmmm. The way I’m reading it, she likely never saw him as husband material – just a fling thing, and whoops.. got knocked up and he tried to ‘do the right thing’ by marrying her and raising their kids. From there it went to a mostly deadbedroom and a lot of resentment on her part as he didn’t measure up economically to the kind of man she always felt she was deserved. The lines about never having the time for intimacy and connection ring true when desire, attraction and respect is missing. When it’s there, people find the time… they MAKE the time.. to steal away, even for just a few minutes and a quickie. But no where do her words express that she actually missed the connection with her husband .. it’s just something to blame for not having have more when comparing herself to others, which I’m sure she did non-stop.
Good call to point out how she’s making this a status issue.
There’s a saying that most men acquire status by what they themselves do – the things they create and cause to happen in the world – while most women acquire status by acquiring the men who acquire the status.
I think this has something to do with wives on average seeming to be far more concerned about appearances to the friends, family and community – as they aren’t as directly in control of some of the pillars of their status.
My ex of now 10+ years still tries to trade in on my (current) accomplishments whenever she thinks it will boost her own appearance. What’s sad is that she remarried years ago – a couple weeks after the last alimony check cleared, and her current husband isn’t as accomplished or ‘statusy’.. and she often doesn’t speak of him (her ‘tru wuv’) as well as she speaks of me when trying to make herself look better. Or course in the beginning, when the child support and alimony was enough (more than the average household income nationally ) for her to live alone without working, she only spoke of all the evils I caused and subjected her to from the day she met me. What ever suits the moment I guess.
Off topic: Dalrock, I now realize why some of your descriptions of local churches seemed familiar. From the spot of your banner image, turn around and look between the 30 and 66. That spec on the shore was me, divorcing my unfaithful and abusive SAHM wife who demanded an open marriage, for her only of course, under numerous threats from false DV and molestation accusations to ‘accidentally’ discharging her handgun inside our house because she claimed I made her too stressed by trying to stop her deficit spending.
She writes:
“Annoying as it may be, there is truth to the implication that my husband and I didn’t cater to our marriage enough. The fact is, we couldn’t afford to. We live paycheck to paycheck. My husband also works long hours, including many nights. Often, he wasn’t home until I was in bed.”
“For eight years, I’ve worked from home while taking care of kids to avoid the massive and crushing costs of child care, which typically meant pulling double duty.”
How much does being a freelance writer make? I’m guessing not much at all, especially in this day and age. For her this probably isn’t a real job which makes a real wage, its a hobby. And even now, she still hasn’t had to go out and get a job, so I guess she’s surviving comfortably on child support and whatever she got in the divorce settlement.
She’s claiming she was too poor to make the marriage work, she’s lying or her expectations were excessive. Her husband worked long hours to provide her with a comfortable life. And she’s claiming having to bring up a baby while having a school age child was so stressful her marriage couldn’t survive. Spoiled and entitled.
@earl said:
April 19, 2018 at 12:16 pm
” @billyS said: Kids are harmed and no one even cares,
including many prominent preachers.
I’d say it’s a tie between abortion and divorce on which tears up a child the most.
And no I’m not being hyperbolic.”
It took my two children a decade after my first “wife” murdered our family (and that’s what she did, she murdered our family, forcing a divorce when my kids were 15 and 17 after I came into some serious money she could get her greedy, slutty hands on) to recover. Sexual assault, drug abuse, depression, despair, alcoholism, and on and on. It’s required a herculean effort on my part and on the part of responsible member’s of my ex-wife’s family (including women who stayed married to men they pretty clearly wanted to leave) to help them get across the finish line, get mentally healthy and back in the game. Society never called my first wife to account or held her accountable for anything.
As they were stoning Stephen, he called out,
“Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.”
Then he fell to his knees and cried out in a loud voice,
“Lord, do not hold this sin against them”;
and when he said this, he fell asleep.
I pray that someday the Lord will give me the grace to not hold this sin against her.
Earl, I’m lurking here and really enjoy your comments, but I disagree when you suggest that women want to be men. My observation is that women have some deep ‘matching’ instinct, mimicry, compettitiveness, ‘I’ll have what she’s having’, ‘Meetoo’. Deep down, they have learned to copy men (and other women of course), to gain those men’s attention. But in our free society the instinct has gone into freefall, unstoppable, unquenchable.
I think there are female animals like wolves who ‘match’ the agiiilty of a male they are attracted to. After all, when I was young we called them ‘tomboys’, but they just wanted to be ‘where the boys are’ and be noticed. Obviously there are so many male attributes they don’t want to copy. But even lesbianism, ever watched cows? They mimic copulation with each other, and ‘mount’ each other. It’s some kind of deep female instinct. Anyway that’s my 2cents.
On topic: Did you know that divorce is contagious?
https://nypost.com/2018/04/16/divorce-is-contagious-and-it-happened-to-me/
I love the passivity in these articles. “It happened to” her.
“Before long, however, cracks in Rosie’s relationship with her husband, Fergus* began to show.”
Cracks just magically “began to show”.
“’It was nothing too dramatic’, she [Rosie] reveals. ‘Just the usual problems that begin to snowball if you don’t address them early on.’
‘We realized we’d actually been growing apart for years; he worked away a lot and when he was home we both favored group activities to couple time, perhaps because we sensed we had less and less in common over time.’
…
Over the next few months, Rosie found herself commiserating with her troubled friend over her relationship, while trying to come to terms with her own heartbreak.”
There it is again. She “found herself commiserating”. It’s not something she decided, or chose to do. It’s something that happened to her.
“Eventually, the news she’d been expecting came when her friend turned up on her doorstep: she’d left her husband as well.”
The friend just “turned up on her doorstep”.
“Suddenly, the two women who had been bridesmaids at each other’s weddings just a few years earlier found themselves living together as roommates after their respective break-ups.”
There it is again! They “found themselves living together as roommates”. It just happend to them by no will or volition of their own.
“By the time a third friend showed up unexpectedly on their doorstep one night, tearfully proclaiming that her own marriage had ended, Rosie and her friends were well and truly weirded out.”
Again! She just “showed up”, and her marriage just “ended”. No one ended it. No one made any decisions, or took any actions.
“We spoke to Shelly, 42, who now lives in London after a divorce cluster ran through her friendship group.”
“A divorce cluster” just “ran through her friendship group”, like a flood, or a tsunami, or some other force of nature. Again, no one made any decisions or took any actions.
Anyway, the whole thing goes on like that. Everyone (especially every woman) is a passive victim of circumstances. No one is an active moral agent. No one possesses an ounce of agency. Wonderful, ain’t it?
I can’t believe someone just made a libertardian argument here. Governments MUST run deficits as it is the only way for the money supply to expand FREE OF INTEREST
Bull. You have no idea what you are talking about.
Many countries do not usually run deficits. That super-exotic country of Canada, among them.
Not to mention that this wasn’t even the point being made and your screed has nothing to do with the subject at hand (on top of being factually false).
This is a fictional story (I think it is) that shows to what degree a woman wants her “freedom” and can never fathom the idiocy of it no matter what happens to her. Feminism takes a woman to hell like a lobster slowly being boiled alive.
https://thoughtcatalog.com/m-j-pack/2014/12/im-on-my-deathbed-so-im-coming-clean-heres-the-gruesome-truth-about-what-happened-to-my-first-wife/
Almost everyone… except for the male, his children, and society of course.
@Dalrock: “She wrote an article accusing the mothers who remain married to their children’s father of having privilege. The subtext is sure they have higher status (for who can deny it?), but they didn’t earn it. ”
Good analysis. What you did not mention is that not only did the other mothers not earn their status, but could KEEP their status BECAUSE of money. On top of that her LACK of money CAUSED her divorce. It is both a bitter attack and trying to win sympathy again to wifesplain that she is not responsible, money was!
“you go ahead and sip that piña colada at your all-inclusive resort. I’ll be over here babysitting all the neighborhood kids and writing about fitness gear at 4 a.m. so I can finance **my divorce**.”
She is obviously lacking in the logical department, but who cares?
@Oscar: ‘I love the passivity in these articles. “It happened to” her. ‘
One of the eye-opening courses I took was a course on problem solving. It explained if you do not take responsibility for a situation, you can do nothing to improve it. And it starts with stop using fuzzy language designed to avoid responsibility, by blame-shifting to others or to ‘it’. Using the passive versus the active voice is key.
Do not say “the milk was spilled” but “I spilled the milk”. Only then you can start analysing how it did happen and what you can do to solve it.
Once you know this, you see this pattern EVERYWHERE being used by people trying to avoid responsibility resulting in being stuck in problems which will never go away.
BillyS writes:
“Kids are harmed and no one even cares, including many prominent preachers. They invert submission and ignore the impact on kids. It is reprehensible.”
Spot on. This poor, poor woman (don’t we all feel sorry for her) never seems too concerned about what effect all of this is having on her kids. It gets tiring to hear selfish adults brush that off, saying, “They’re resilient, they’ll get through it.” Not without lasting scars. Children are a product of their parents–genetically, psychologically, spiritually. When parents announce to their children that their union was a “mistake,” that’s also saying to the children: “YOU are also a mistake.” How can that not be devastating? Parents who swear up and down that they would do anything for their children, even die for them, think nothing of dropping that bomb on them.
Tangential at best, but I find this amusing, but not trying to ridicule it.
https://www.gunsamerica.com/blog/find-a-2a-supporter-to-love-on-progundating-com/
I saw more to that story…
The husband worshiped the wife and the wife was bored with it
Husband wanted to make wife happy
She leaves and becomes a freak show being alone, guy still worships his wife by mimicing her new lifestyle
This will sound like man bashing…but the thing we men never seem to learn (at least in the blue pill idiocy) is that worshiping women or our wives feelz is the downfall of man. There’s a reason idolatry creates a lot of jealousy in God.
One of the eye-opening courses I took was a course on problem solving. It explained if you do not take responsibility for a situation, you can do nothing to improve it.
They don’t want to take responsibility. They don’t even want to take action. They want it done for them.
…worshiping women or our wives feelz is the downfall of man. There’s a reason idolatry creates a lot of jealousy in God.
Yep! I was taught the hard painful reality that, in spite of popular opinions and false teachings in church, our God is a jealous God. There can be no other.
Dates, kids away, kids babysat, flowers, constant romance in marriage. Sounds terrible.
The problem with these women and couples is that they are all selfish trash. Kids are a burden for them, not a joy, and so they are broken deep inside. They find their own children boring and a distraction.
A good woman grows closer to her family and husband by spending time together as a family. All these attempts to constantly escape the children are ridiculous. I don’t bring my children every time I go out with my wife, but we love our children and are not plotting constantly to ditch them (until they are teenagers then we can do without the headache).
Marriage is hard but these people make it even harder by trying to have magic relationships. Marry a person you fall in love with then just see it through. Thats all it takes. Be Christian toward each other as best you can and it will workout. These romance gymnastics are exhausting. If my wife expected weekends away every month and constant courting I would get a divorce so I could focus on my kids and job and not a selfish woman.
Also, if possible at all, don’t have your wife work. It just results in so much more stress and misery in the home and this worry that you are not building your relationship. If she is more connected to the children by spending time with them she will be less likely to blow up the marriage because she will care enough about them to work out her issues (well, hopefully she will, some women be selfish and evil).
Latest (yet inevitable) trend: gender neutral Mother’s Day cards: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5487133/Waitrose-sells-gender-neutral-Mothers-Day-cards.html
Because not every mother is female.
Since the churches are following popular culture, I suppose that in ten or twenty years, pastors will be praising transgender women (i.e., men) on Mother’s Day.
If she is more connected to the children by spending time with them she will be less likely to blow up the marriage because she will care enough about them to work out her issues
Eh, not really. I understand why you might think that way, but for a SAHM with a husband who has a nice income, the temptation to bolt can be staggeringly high. She gets both child support and alimony and can do what she likes with the kids without H “telling her what to do anymore!”. If anything, with a SAHM you have to keep the romance track on high gear because she has huge financial incentives to bolt from you if your income is significant (if your income isn’t significant, you probably don’t have a SAHM in this culture anyway).
Taggin on to Novaseeker’s comment the SAHM of 2018 is in a very different social environment from that of her mother or grandmother. Just 20+ years ago social media was nonexistent or very limited in scope. AOL’s little communities were nothing like Facebook. If a SAHM in her 30’s wanted to find her old high school or college flame(s) she had to do some work, of a form that would not leave any plausible deniability. It couldn’t “just happen”.
Also a pre-social media SAHM was limited to some degree in her gossip circle to local women plus those in her family. Communication via cellphone wasn’t so cheap in the 90’s. Now social media from Facebook to Instagram to Tumbler to Pinterest etc. is essentially “free” on top of the high speed data connection everyone wants for video (sport, Netflix, etc.) so women have a larger social circle than before. With that larger circle will come more “whispers”.
The average middle class SAHM can find her old lovers or be found by them, find women willing to YouGoGirrl! for her on just about any idea, find women who will deal out “the whispers” to her etc. and so forth, things that were difficult to do just one generation back. All while sitting at a desktop, the kitchen laptop or on her phone. Controlling that social circle or even knowing who all the participants are is difficult to impossible for a man holding down a job.
Any SAHM better be home schooling children as a big part of her day job, just for a start.
Forgot to add that instand family / friend comunication is just a reality thanks to essentially free text messaging. Women 40 and under are all but constantly in contact with the various parts of their social circle via text. I see them in meetings holding the phone under the table – nobody’s fooled – unless the leader of the meeting forces everyone to silence and stack their phone. Look around at any night spot and see how the thumbs are flying.
This means that social situations can be “evaluated” by a woman’s social circle in near real-time; the “YouGoGrrl” can be just a few seconds away.
This is a level of connectness we haven’t seen before, ever. It’s still sorting out.
It’s more about feelings and romance instead of building a community.
@ Paul
“… if you do not take responsibility for a situation, you can do nothing to improve it. And it starts with stop using fuzzy language designed to avoid responsibility, by blame-shifting to others or to ‘it’. Using the passive versus the active voice is key.”
Agreed. The level of passivity in those articles is mind boggling. Everything “just happens”, like a natural disaster, or something.
What really gets me is that, even if my house gets hit by a tornado (a real possibility where I live) I’m still responsible for what I did or failed to do to prepare for it, and for how I react in the aftermath. And that’s even though I have absolutely zero control over the weather.
These women are 100% in control of their actions, choices, and decisions, yet they speak about the consequences of their actions, choices, and decisions as though zero responsibility for any of it.
@Nova
I agree with you the incentives certainly serve your narrative.
Yet, the data show SAHM moms, more common in the UMC, have less divorce (and UMC overall has low rates of divorce). Families with children have less divorce. Now, these could all be correlated with something else (religiosity would be my first guess) and my explanations of it could be ad hoc nonsense, but many of these women must resist the siren song of the allure of the alimony and child support because divorce among them remains relatively rare.
@AR
Your points about social media are excellent. Move away from old romances and loser friends, and the wife can still be in constant contact with those itching ears.
You do know why.
She has a legion of white knights in church, school, society, government, etc. who say any of her screw ups are all a MAN’S fault. That’s why white knights are a greater problem.
@Kevin
‘{SNIP} If she is more connected to the children by spending time with them she will be less likely to blow up the marriage because she will care enough about them to work out her issues (well, hopefully she will, some women be selfish and evil).’
Clearly you have not been paying alimony and child support for the last seven plus years like I have. Trust me, this is terrible advice you are providing. Galacticly stupid actually, do you know anything about women? You should keep your advice to something you know something about that is not going to cost your fellow travelers hundreds of thousands of dollars each.
Kevin —
That has to do with being UMC, not with being SAHMs. Due to economics, as you note, most of the SAHMs today are UMC, but the UMC couples who do not have SAHMs also have low divorce rates. We’ve talked a lot over the years about the reasons for that, but it’s a combination of social pressure and economics primarily — but it results from being UMC — again, the dual income UMCs with kids also have low divorce rates — meaning that if you are UMC (which you likely are if you have a SAHM wife), you can get the same benefit of low divorce rates by having kids and not having a SAHM (which also is a lot safer for you in a divorce, financially).
Nova,
What level of income in the USA do you consider puts one in UMC? Does it vary by region? Urban/rural?
OKR —
I’d say it varies a lot by locality and yes urban/rural. What it takes to be UMC is higher income in blue metros, also higher on coasts than inland and so on.
Disillusioned wrote This is a fictional story
What a great short story. Should have posted it on the last thread. A great allegory for what happened to dating, courtship, marriage, in 20th C*.
Pretty woman gets courted mid-century. Suddenly she realizes she’s bored. So she allows herself to be taken (passive, allowing abdication of responsibility). She becomes grotesque and hideous (like today’s feminists), but still believes the looks she receives are of lust, not disgust.
Meanwhile the man reacts by being a nihilistic womanizer. That’s how he survives. And eventually his returned indifference kills off the ugly feminist.
*We tend to think this is a mid-to-late 20th C thing. But read John O’Hara and F. Scott Fitzgerald, it was certainly common among those comfortable in the gilded age. Not dissimilar to those women made comfortable in the medieval courtship age.
Anonymous Reader: Just 20+ years ago social media was nonexistent or very limited in scope. AOL’s little communities were nothing like Facebook. If a SAHM in her 30’s wanted to find her old high school or college flame(s) she had to do some work, of a form that would not leave any plausible deniability. It couldn’t “just happen”. …The average middle class SAHM can find her old lovers or be found by them, find women willing to YouGoGirrl! for her on just about any idea…
Kevin: Your points about social media are excellent. Move away from old romances and loser friends, and the wife can still be in constant contact with those itching ears.
I’m beginning to wonder if you guys were spying on my marriage?
An idle mind is the devil’s workshop and idle hands are the devil’s tools.
As woman was last in the creation, which is one reason for her subjection, so she was first in the transgression.
If women are Satan’s easiest marks, it would behoove us that they not be left Idle.
Our modern conveniences are leading to enough free time for women to sit around pondering the sources of their newfound discontentment. Given long enough they’ll blame the man who provided them with all those modern conveniences and left them to thinking.
Another story about how Churchianity is female worship.
‘San Francisco Church Will Hold a ‘Beyonce Mass’ Because ‘Jesus Used Very Provocative Images’’
https://relevantmagazine.com/current/san-francisco-church-will-hold-beyonce-mass-featuring-songs-pop-star/
‘“I know there are people who will say using Beyonce is just a cheap way of trying to get people to church,” said the church’s director of innovative ministries, the Rev. Jude Harmon. “But Jesus used very provocative images in the stories he would tell to incite people to ask hard questions about their own assumptions.”’
She has a legion of white knights in church, school, society, government, etc. who say any of her screw ups are all a MAN’S fault. That’s why white knights are a greater problem.
This is sad but true. Women in the West never fought for or won anything related to “women’s rights”. Every thing they have was handed to them on a silver platter by men, and men in the West could take it all away tomorrow if they were so inclined. It looks like men not from the West are already doing that in parts of western Europe.
dalrockaz & frinedsz!!!
do not fretz!
da gbfm invitez all of you and your readerszlzol to ocme live in da gbfm’s town, where all da men read da great bookz for menz while da womenz make sandwhisches all day every day!!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lozzolo
lozzololozzolo
“Lozzolo, founded by the pilgrim, pioneer, and conqueror da GBFM, is a comune (municipality) in the Province of Vercelli in the Italian region Piedmont, located about 80 kilometres (50 mi) northeast of Turin and about 35 kilometres (22 mi) north of Vercelli. As of 31 December 2004, it had a population of 797 (30 men and 767 womenzlzozl) and an area of 6.7 square kilometres (2.6 sq mi).”
lozzololozzolo
“Much as I’d love to see her son returned to his father, one must still question that man’s judgment/taste in women for ever having married such an obvious PoS like Sally in the first place.”
Easy. It’s not just that she’s white, she’s the enemy. Nothing says “I’m gonna fuck you over” more than taking your enemy’s women, no matter how hideous.
Perhaps when it comes to most of history that is the case.
If I wanted to have my enemy’s country go down in flames I’d send them the modern Western woman. They’ll emasculate the place within a generation.
I observed the ‘eat pray love’ thing in India over a period of 40 years. One example in 1985 – a group of us went to a display of Kalaripayattu the local Kung Fu in Kerala, southwest India. This was in a traditional ashram place where boys were trained to leap around with swords. There used to be a lot of fighting in the area and this was for practical miliitary purposes.
Men only, except the day we went there was this pudgy European girl leaping around among them. It was a bizarre spectacle in what was supposed to be a traditional display. She had learned all the moves, had obviously been training with them for weeks, and could match them all. No local woman would dare, but they accepted her maybe as a curiosity.
It used to be said (before feminists silenced us) that the people of India turned against the British when they saw how they worshipped women – chivalry. ‘Women lost the Empire’, ‘Passage to India’ alludes to this. Nowadays Keralan men have ‘moral police’ who drive unmarried women off the streets if they are found with boyfriends, not just Muslims, mostly Hindus. Kerala is also one of the most Christian parts of India said to have been converted by St Thomas. All over India you can see western women imitating the local men (not the women so much). Some strange mimicry instinct in their heads and they take it to extremes. Always a public display too. If they just wanted to learn the moves they could get private lessons. Their ‘spiritual journey’ is always public.
Re: ‘Beyonce Mass’
…the church’s director of innovative ministries, the Rev. Jude Harmon. LOL that doesn’t sound good. Who knew God’s institution the church was in such need of innovation? You’d think God would have been wise enough to put some relevant and timeless truth in His Word. And after the church has persisted for two millennium on its own, who knew Mr. Harmon’s help is suddenly needed to innovate God’s institution? I guess when you monkey with (innovate) God’s institution of marriage, (marriage 2.0) you need to innovate the other institution (the church) to attempt damage control in the aftermath of your first folly.
Harmon went on to say Beyonce’s music “opens a window into the lives of the marginalized and forgotten—particularly black females. We felt a need to lift up the voices that the church has traditionally suppressed. Barf !!! Since when was Jesus Christ, and his bride the true church, suppressing any part of mankind? Perhaps Jesus message of self controlled behavior and forgiving past grievances just rubs some people the wrong way? However, I doubt these complaints of church suppression came from actual church attending Black women, but are more likely the fabrication of SJWs and their White Knights. Historically the church has advocated more change that came about for the downtrodden than any other institution. Or maybe some just expect to be treated as if they are more downtrodden than they currently really are, thanks to the church having pushed for their equality.
it will feature a sermon by the Rev. Yolanda Norton Barf again !!! I would not expect much from a “reverend” who is shamefully acting in rebellion to God.
1 Corinthians 14:34 the women should keep silent in the churches. For they are not permitted to speak, but should be in submission, as the Law also says. 35 If there is anything they desire to learn, let them ask their husbands at home. For it is shameful for a woman to speak in church.
“It used to be said (before feminists silenced us) that the people of India turned against the British when they saw how they worshipped women”
I think that might have more to do with the “No dogs or Indians” signs, and the general disrespect the British had for Indian subjects.
Gandhi loved the British Raj. Until the day he got booted from his 1st class seat in a train in South Africa. When he finally realized he was a second class citizen of the Raj.
Also in general, people don’t like being subjugated by foreign cultures, regardless of how those cultures treat their women.
No Vyasa, those signs only came up after the British women arrived, late 19th century. It’s been proposed that ‘racism’ arose as an extension of chivalry in fact, ‘We must protect the women’.
A lot has been wrIten about this but as I say, feminism has pushed that body of writing and debate into the shadows. It used to be a well-known history but now Hollywood and the US civil rights obsessions have turned it into a cartoon. It’s a shame, the facts are buried under wishful thinking.
Even in the 1980s, old Indians who remembered the British were saying how much better it was, at least one old gent said to me, ‘Please come back and rule us’. You have no idea, now Amercian brainwashing about ‘freedom’ dominates superficially.
Pre the arrival of the women, the British in India ‘went native’ and married the local women, starting with Job Charnock, founder of Calcutta. You’re just repeating popular myths, the sort of things Americans believe because they had no direct experience.
Wow, that’s really interesting. I’ll look more into that. Never knew the signs only came up after British women arrived.
@Vyasa
Speaking of India the country has a huge problem with abortion especially of their baby daughters resulting in many women who would otherwise exist. Because of the incentives imposed by the dowry system.
The skewed sex ratios is depriving many men of wives they may otherwise be able to marry.
Off-topic, but not much… “Eat, Pray, Love” claims another casualty:
“How This Midwestern Mom Ended up Married to an ISIS Sniper,” by Erin Donnelly, Yahoo! Lifestyle, 19 Apr 2018
https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/midwestern-mom-ended-married-isis-sniper-181435477.html
“Savings card” at your local store?
Why do they want your information so badly?
Partly because they can borrow money against future projected earnings.
Your information becomes *their collateral. After the max ten years of showing a debt on that business,paying no taxes,then sell from right hand to left and pocket those borrowings against the future that never came.
That’s why your store changes names each ten years.
Speak of the devil !
States apparently issue a birth certificate for every child in the womb,including abortions.
If the fetus shows ANY sign of movement it is issued a birth certificate by The State,which then keeps it on record for the max 1 fiscal year for purposes of borrowing against future taxation
(that obviously never comes) and also for milking Federal Funds.
Thus you can see by merely two examples how money can be taken for free by borrowing against a non-existent future.
I guess Johnny blue collar really is behind the curve when it comes to funding women.
No wonder the replacement rate is HISTORY
Kiss your “society” goodbye!
Bye now,have a Blessed Day
Novaseeker is my guide to the UMC throughout America and yet I am always amused that a higher income – on its own – might enroll one into the UMC. I am also surprised by this as there must especially in New England be many families who are ‘old money’ and thus to my eyes the real UMC. Perhaps it is accent but in your mother country as soon as someone opens their mouth then whether they be as poor as church mice or flush-with-cash you can tell exactly who they are and where they come from – In short: poverty is no bar to being a member of the UMC; indeed the cash-poor member of the UMC is quite common. Shaw’s Pygmalion (My Fair Lady) is thus not much stretching truth when Professor Higgins can tell everything from how they speak about the people milling-around outside the Covent Garden Opera House – yes it really is (or was) next door to the fruit and veg market.
I (unlike – to my knowledge – four of my ancestors) have no knowledge of the Indian sub-continent. Photographs of some of my turn-of-the-century (19th) female relatives reveal the greatest of unearned privilege and the idea that racism is linked to chivalry as seeker explains is most interesting. Sometimes I think that retiring to a hill-town such as Darjeeling must be as near a perfect existence as one might reasonably wish for. I could do some ruling too if that would suit the inhabitants. There is a natural love-in between the British and the Indians.
Novaseeker is my guide to the UMC throughout America and yet I am always amused that a higher income – on its own – might enroll one into the UMC.
Not quite that simple. The “merit-based aristocracy” (aka UMC) is also characterized by higher education and advanced degrees. You may be a plumber who has done well for himself and has the same cash flow as a lawyer or business exec, but you won’t really be “one of them” unless you have the education cred.
there must especially in New England be many families who are ‘old money’ and thus to my eyes the real UMC.
In the US, these are our “upper class” — as you know, we don’t have royalty and peerages and so on, so “old money” is our landed gentry class.
@Anonymous
Samantha Sally (wife of deceased ISIS fighter Moussa Elhassani) was married to him in July 2012 by a ‘Christian’ Minister Dick Nichols in Dubois County.
Unable to find the boys father yet, but notice how nobody is talking about that; how she moved a 7 year old boy from a previous marriage to Syria.
All that whore wants to do now is ‘eat at McDonalds.’ Notice how she slept in the same room with the two females that Moussa was raping regularly.
earl says:
April 21, 2018 at 7:41 am
That “church” is no longer anything of the sort.
If I wanted to have my enemy’s country go down in flames I’d send them the modern Western woman. They’ll emasculate the place within a generation.
I’ve remarked here on more than one occasion that exporting tens of millions of American women to other countries would constitute the ultimate act of war.
Oscar,
Supposing that having “zero control over the weather” means that you have no authority over the weather, I wonder how you reconcile your acceptance of your responsibility in this instance with your comment on Doug Wilson’s blog, where you say:
What’s the difference between “zero control over the weather” and “zero authority” over your wife? Why do you seem willing to accept responsibility in the first case, but not the second?
Novaseeker,
What specific income (range?) do you consider UMC? $100K in rural Nebraska? $250K in DC? I’m curious, because otherwise the definition is left up to the reader. Some might consider $75K in DC to be UMC, while others might think $500K.
UMC is probably that level of income that affords you the ability to have two to three children, send them to private school and university, to live in a house of five bedrooms or more, take yearly vacations, two to three (no older than two to three years) cars, make investments on the side, eat out, have a hobby or two and still have enough left over to not fall into debt and also fund those unforeseen expenses.
OKRickety,
Holy crap, man. Is it really that difficult to understand? I bear zero responsibility for the weather precisely because I have zero control over it.
I bear responsibility for the things I can do something about. For example, I can insure my house, and I did. I can make sure my house has a basement with a tornado shelter, and I did. I can set aside food and water for may family in case a tornado disrupts the local supply, and I did. I can monitor the radio during a tornado warning, and tell my family to be ready to get in the shelter if the local tornado siren sounds off, and I have. I can move my family into the shelter if a tornado touched down near our house, and I would. I can rebuild my house with the insurance money if a tornado destroyed it, and I would, which is precisely why I bought insurance in the first place. I can provide medical care for my family if they need it after the tornado, and I would, which is why I bought health insurance in the first place. I can use our emergency fund to buy things we need in the immediate aftermath of a tornado, and I would, which is why I set up an emergency fund in the first place.
I bear responsibility for the things I CAN do before, during, and after a tornado, precisely because I have authority over my own actions. I bear zero responsibility for the tornado itself, because I have zero control, or authority over the weather.
Why is that so difficult for you to understand?
If I wanted to have my enemy’s country go down in flames I’d send them the modern Western woman. They’ll emasculate the place within a generation.
Its been said that, “If you find out that your wife has a lover, the greatest revenge you can inflict is to let him keep her.”
Look at the mess Michael Jackson’s “daughter,” Paris, has become: https://pagesix.com/2018/04/21/the-jackson-family-is-worried-paris-is-out-of-control/?_ga=2.42661989.1195309002.1524280405-173086073.1518796806
At only 20 years old, Paris is covered in tattoos, drunk in public, making obscene gestures for photographers (and enjoying the attention), has multi-colored nail polish, and is dating a 25-year-old lesbian.
Only 20 years old, and already broken beyond repair as wife material.
And has anyone noticed this new makeup trend among women: mulit-colored nail polish. A different color for each nail, some nails even left uncolored. And some nails carrying spot, stripes, or designs.
Modern Western women truly want to look like clowns.
Yes. The ones I know usually do the design on the index finger…whatever that means (attention grabbing finger?)
I’ve remarked here on more than one occasion that exporting tens of millions of American women to other countries would constitute the ultimate act of war.
You’d be surprised how quickly they change and blend in with the local women, once they realize that a gynocentric law enforcement apparatus is not there to enforce their feminist demands.
At only 20 years old, Paris is covered in tattoos, drunk in public, making obscene gestures for photographers (and enjoying the attention), has multi-colored nail polish, and is dating a 25-year-old lesbian.
I don’t think it was at all possible that she wouldn’t have been irretrievably broken, given the family background, to be honest. On the “lesbian” thing, there are really very, very few exclusive lesbians (far fewer than there are exclusive gays), but almost all women are bisexual at least in potential. These days given that LGBT is the path to social sainthood, it stands to reason that high profile, attractive women are going to be acting out on their latent bisexuality (Amber Heard is another example). No surprises here for me, really.
Novaseeker,
What specific income (range?) do you consider UMC? $100K in rural Nebraska? $250K in DC? I’m curious, because otherwise the definition is left up to the reader. Some might consider $75K in DC to be UMC, while others might think $500K.
Not sure about Nebraska. In DC it’s 250-600k. North of 600k probably considers itself UMC here but is really getting into the “rich” category.
Not just Paris Jackson. 30 something year old Khloe Kardashian has a baby from a thug basketball player who already has multiple baby mamas, and he bails out on her while she’s in labor. And apparently she “took” him from the previous baby mama. Now the media is bending over backwards to defend her “honor” like good white knights.
https://www.cosmopolitan.com/entertainment/celebs/amp19870624/tristan-thompson-leaves-khloe-in-cleveland-for-playoffs/
https://www.cbs.com/shows/the_talk/video/C7026BD6-DAEB-1F47-2B11-B664C2AABED5/the-talk-sara-gilbert-calls-tristan-thompson-selfish-to-put-khloe-kardashian-in-distress-/
Outside of the hardcore Sharia regions (and even some of those are changing)…is there any place that doesn’t have some form of wimminz suffrage?
I wouldn’t expect anything else from that mouthpiece of Satan. They’ll honor wimminz all day long…but it’s a hollow honor.
Depressing video on the extent of homo/transexual propaganda in Europe.
@earl
And I forgot to mention. At some point in the show, the cast showed all the men Khloe Kardashian has “dated”. Among the similarities, they were all athletes or some type of entertainers, all had some story of bad behavior, all had power, but the one the panel did not want to mention, because, you know, Muh Diversity and Muh Ratings, is that all were black.
That’s usually the type of men the Kardashian/Jenner succubi go after. Makes you wonder why black men constantly get trapped by those harlots.
Lamar Odom nearly died…Kayne West what ever happened to him after his psychotic episodes? There’s probably a good reason why all those men eventually take off.
I today learned something to my surprise and not unrelated to the late Mr Jackson. A number of his songs and with which we most identify him including Thriller were written by the late Rod Temperton (who also wrote Boogie Nights). Temperton was English – grammar school education and not I think UMC. England simply dominates the musical world and I think this is perhaps the greatest change in my life-time for when I was a child every English artist including of course at first the Beatles and Stones covered American songs. America is also very strong musically of course but everyone else including the French Germans and Italians are of no significance. This would astonish anyone from say 1900. I had assumed Temperton’s band Heatwave (I was playing some tracks) with its four black members was American. Not so. I could make similar claims for (modern) classical music especially as to the Opera.
Is America a classless society? Novaseeker’s above explanation where he explains it is not just money but education (surely somewhat related?) suggests that the answer may be in the affirmative. I was put in mind with his discussion of the UMC by a conversation I had as recently as last Friday where on enquiring of my friend (now blue collar) as to his week he informed me that he had been working for a woman who owned two valuable properties and that she was a partner in a multi-million £ business. His comment to me was that he could hear from her way of speaking that she came from a lowly background, and that, even though she had inherited the company from her parents. My friend sees her as socially much below him.
One problem with democracy is that these things can vote even if they cannot produce anything. The backbone of the modern democratic party are single women like these who take the only thing they have, their vote, and try to extract as much rent from the rest of us that they can with it. They have every excuse, justification, and rationalization possible but it always comes down to the same thing; “They take, you give”.
Prof. Woland,
See my comment : April 19, 2018 at 2:09 pm
They are both taking from us AND from the future. Deficit spending = spending in excess of taxes collected.
Technological productivity is so high that even a $22T Cumulative Debt has not caused collapse yet. Maybe they can get away with even $30T or $40T. But this is a horrendous wastage of this productive bounty for which almost any other use would be better.
Democracy always devolves into a ‘feminist’ police sate + goddess cult.
I think the two things have more to do with liberation of sex from marriage than whichever government is in charge.
We could have a Kaiser like Ahab and this stuff would still happen if wimminz were liberated like Jezebel.
Opus
Is America a classless society?
It certainly seems that way sometimes. Absolutely no class…
You’d be surprised how quickly they change and blend in with the local women, once they realize that a gynocentric law enforcement apparatus is not there to enforce their feminist demands.
Granted she’s British and not American, but your point still stands.
AR to Opus
Is America a classless society?
It certainly seems that way sometimes. Absolutely no class…
Also from Opus – Novaseeker’s above explanation where he explains it is not just money but education
There is a now somewhat dated motion picture named “The Jerk”, starring Steve Martin. If you can track that down and watch it, it will explain everything. On a related note, weren’t there a fair number of higher class Englishmen that married very rich, but otherwise unremarkable American women after the war to end all wars as a way of saving the estate?
Granted she’s British and not American, but your point still stands.
Well, British and Indian have been intermarrying for 400 years. Even Princess Diana was 3% Indian (which means the Crown Price is 1.5% Indian plus whatever Kate has).
But to go live in India is a big step, yes.
But to go live in India is a big step, yes.
I think it’s a matter of frame. Rollo has often said that successful relationships involve a man drawing a woman into his frame. In the video I posted above, the Indian man made the British woman give up her culture and her God just to be with him. He drew her into his frame. But he’s not alone in this. His mother instructs the new bride on how to cook, how to worship, and how to tend to her domestic responsibilities. This wife is a busy woman as she acclimates to her husband’s world and I doubt she’ll have the time to attention whore on social media. The joint family system of tribal cultures like India’s ensure that women know their place. It takes the entire family’s effort to keep one woman from running amok. This is where western men are at a disadvantage because the western beta has no backup whereas the eastern beta has his family backing him up to keep his woman in her place. I’m not advocating for a joint/extended family system here, (there’s many downsides to those) but I am stating some observations.
Dail Mail’s covering that dumb “ISIS widow” now:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5635811/American-ISIS-widow-dreams-returning-US.html
Is there some secret competition between ad agencies for the most over the top smart wife/dumb husband commercials?
In Hyundai’s latest entry, the wife is a space-walking astronaut, and the husband is so stupid that he can’t unlock his car without her help…
Remember the wife is always the heroic one when she does the same thing hundreds of men have done many times by rote. Her husband is a pilot.
Statements like this from an Protestant university pushes me more toward Eastern Orthodoxy.
Is there some secret competition between ad agencies for the most over the top smart wife/dumb husband commercials?
This sort of thing is really just proof of how inferior women are.
Men are just not entertained by the opposite. But women need to endlessly be immersed in a fiction that enables them to imagine superiority. Most men outgrow this by age 10 or so.
The older he becomes the more (poor) Cliff Richard – who I think Americans will have heard of – looks Indian. He was born there, and so…
Many Americans have considerable class but sometimes I think it is worn like a tuxedo rather than to the manner born. What Americans wear naturally is religion.
“Modern Western women truly want to look like clowns.”
The more so the better. Clowns are scary.
Men are just not entertained by the opposite. But women need to endlessly be immersed in a fiction that enables them to imagine superiority. Most men outgrow this by age 10 or so.
Don’t overlook the fact that *men* rather enjoy seeing other men put down, being made to look stupid and so on — makes them feel better about themselves (“heh, at least I’m not like that schmuck!”). Same dynamic as to why Christian pastors love to put down men constantly, and most men just eat it up. It’s not only women who eat this stuff up. The men here are a self-selecting group that doesn’t like this kind of thing — most guys lap it up gladly and enthusiastically.
I think Novaseeker is right in his observation that the relish with which most people–women and men–portray men in an exaggeratedly poor manner is something that seems to be hardwired in humanity, and that we should reconcile with the fact that it’s not going away, at least not for good, or not entirely.
In the language of theology, I’d put this propensity in mankind in the category of concupiscence. The tendency underneath is based on something good, but the pleasure that goes along with the tendency is sought after as an end in itself, or at least becomes disordered, much like glutting oneself on food is an abuse of the good pleasure that goes along with the necessary action of eating enough to live well.
In the case of how society views men – we have glutted ourselves on the pleasure that comes from seeing men sacrificed. Society depends upon the sacrifice of men, and there is some pleasure for that reason in the right order of things, to see men so sacrifice themselves. But this has also become disordered, and in extreme cases, which aren’t so rare these days, the pleasure in seeing men sacrificed has become an end in itself.
Dota,
Your post about frame should be a good lesson for single believers here who are considering marriage to a foreigner. It will help them to count the cost of such an action.
I married as a blue piller and the thought of putting a wife in my frame would have resonated in my heart but would’ve been abhorrent to the rest of me. I would think my church would call me abusive and better off single had I been aware of frame and ready to enforce it on a foreigner like you say the Indian man did.
It’s another example of how a man who marries has little to no support once he does. We focus on choosing the good ones, but it’s almost as misplaced as skanms focusing on the wedding instead of the marriage.
Scott is trying to break out of the going-it-alone mode for his kids and it seems like a lot of effort, more than a travel league probably.
@Jrob
I am also pushed towards eastern orthodoxy. But while many institutions is corrupt the orthodox protestant faith remains true. Although I am very tempted to cross the Volga.
God always preserves a remnant.
Oscar,
Of course I understand that. However, you made no attempt to explain how that fits with your comment(s) about responsibility in marriage. How about answering the questions I asked?
It’s another example of how a man who marries has little to no support once he does. We focus on choosing the good ones, but it’s almost as misplaced as skanms focusing on the wedding instead of the marriage.
Good comment.
Only 20 years old, and already broken beyond repair as wife material.
No different from almost every other American female.
Marrying a wife and facing later divorce is nowhere like getting hit by a tornado. You may be able to pick some similarities, but the analogy doesn’t fit in far too many areas.
BillyS,
In my experience, my divorce was like being hit by a tornado. I had zero control of it. As far as I am concerned, I am entirely responsible for what I did before marriage, during my marriage, and after the divorce.
As for the quality of the analogy, an analogy compares two different things in order to highlight some point of similarity. If you don’t see similarities, then it was a terrible analogy. If you see similarities, then focus on them, rather than the differences.
@ OKRickety says:
April 23, 2018 at 9:38 am
“… you made no attempt to explain how that fits with your comment(s) about responsibility in marriage.”
How does my statement that I’m responsible for the things over which I have control not fit with my comments about responsibility in marriage?
OKR,
But you would never seek a whirlwind out for companionship. You will seek a wife out. I do understand the feeling of being divorced, but it is still different. I would never voluntarily live with a whirlwind, but I did choose to marry my wife, even if her divorcing me was a complete surprise and tore me apart.
Oscar,
You accept responsibility for the effects of weather on your house and family although you do not have control over the weather. You seem to disavow responsibility for the effects of your wife’s behavior on your marriage on the basis that you have no enforcement of authority (that is, control) of your wife’s behavior. You do not have control in either case, but you seem to accept responsibility in the one instance but not the other. I see that as a big difference. I understand you cannot control the weather. Do you believe you can control your wife’s behavior?
One thing that I did not realize for a long time is that, generally speaking (there are exceptions of sorts), no person can force another to do anything. If someone holds a gun to my head and tells me they will kill me unless I deny Christ, I still have the choice to deny Christ or not regardless of the consequences. Do you submit to Christ voluntarily? Can someone force you to submit to Christ? Does a wife submit to her husband voluntarily? Can someone force a wife to submit to her husband?
@ OKRickety
on April 23, 2018 at 3:06 pm
“You accept responsibility for the effects of weather on your house and family… ”
No. I don’t. And I already explained that. I also explained for which things I do accept responsibility. I even listed them for you.
So, my question stands. Why is this so difficult for you to understand?
Opus,
The older he becomes the more (poor) Cliff Richard – who I think Americans will have heard of – looks Indian. He was born there, and so…
He IS half-Indian, as are Englebert Humperdinck and Ben Kingsley.
25% Indian : Nicolette Sheridan and Sebastian Coe.
Full (Persian) Indian : Freddie Mercury.
This is no surprise at all to anyone of a particular generation.
@BillyS
The preachers care a lot, especially the prominent ones, because that’s how they make their money. It never fails to astonish me how no one seems to comment on this: why are there “prominent” preachers anyway, at least “prominent” outside of their own church and community?
It’s because in America “preacher” means “a political Zionist Oprah Winfrey wanna-be.” Is there a single preacher out there that is satisfied leading a small flock of their own neighbors? No, they all want a book deal, a popular youtube channel if not their own satellite TV network, and more Twitter followers than Donald Trump.
Of course these “preachers” cater to shallow women, they ARE shallow women, chasing after attention and social media “likes” just like a teenage girl.
It ain’t a new thing either, I blame it on Billy Graham and even before him, Billy Sunday. They are, in fact, the perfect leaders for American Christians who are perfectly described in Matthew 5:18. To paraphrase H. L. Mencken, American Christians deserve to get what they ask for, good and hard.
@ Hipster Racist says:
April 25, 2018 at 12:12 pm
“Is there a single preacher out there that is satisfied leading a small flock of their own neighbors?”
Considering that most congregations are smaller than 100, that means the majority are leading a small flock of their own neighbors.
https://factsandtrends.net/2016/02/24/majority-of-american-churches-fall-below-100-in-worship-attendance/
It’s because in America “preacher” means “a political Zionist Oprah Winfrey wanna-be.”
Spot on. Probably sums it up better than any essay on the fallen state of the contemporary American church.
Is there a single preacher out there that is satisfied leading a small flock of their own neighbors?
No, but they’re dissatified for all the wrong reasons. Rather than wanting to expand the size of their flock out of concern for lost souls, by reaching out to lost, broken, hurting people and leading them to salvation through prayer and the Word, they want a bigger flock in order to enjoy bigger collection plate yields and for the reason you state below, both of which would enable them to lead a comfy middle class lifestyle.
No, they all want a book deal, a popular youtube channel if not their own satellite TV network, and more Twitter followers than Donald Trump.
That’s true of a very few, but the majority just want to be able to afford a nice house in the ‘burbs with a couple of decent cars. Pretty tough to pull off when you have to rely on fewer than 100 people to fill your bank account, unless they’re all wealthy (and extraordinarily generous).
Of course these “preachers” cater to shallow women, they ARE shallow women, chasing after attention and social media “likes” just like a teenage girl.
No preacher in the USofA gets a nice house in the ‘burbs and two nice cars unless he tickles itchy ears into orgasm. That, of course, means pandering to women. That whole First Century thing about disciples of Jesus living in poverty and risking persecution and even death for spreading God’s truth? That’s just not the American way.
It ain’t a new thing either, I blame it on Billy Graham and even before him, Billy Sunday.
Billy Graham was actually one of the very few –in fact the ONLY, AFAIK– prominent evangelists of the modern era who successfully walked the talk, despite all the pressures and temptations that “evangelifame” brings. Dunno about Billy Sunday, as he was well before our time.
They are, in fact, the perfect leaders for American Christians who are perfectly described in Matthew 5:18. To paraphrase H. L. Mencken, American Christians deserve to get what they ask for, good and hard.
The contents of this country’s churches are churchians, not Christians. It is very important not to confuse the two.
How is she converting her children’s misfortune into career success? It’s not misfortune if you have two unhappy parents who are now happy and in a better situation for all. You’ve obviously not read all of her blogs or you would have empathy not judgement but then I guess you are trying to be published as well and therefore can cast stones?