The Daily Mail has a post up for Valentines Day titled The new rules of chivalry: From who pays the bill to paying compliments etiquette expert William Hanson reveals the dos and don’ts for the confused modern man (and woman)
The goal is to update chivalry “with women earning more or less the same as men and same sex and trans couples”. As funny as that idea is, the chivalry it described from the past was hilarious (emphasis mine):
The classic chivalrous act was a man holding open a door for a woman so she didn’t have to break a sweat.
This was especially true in Victorian England when a couple arrived at an hotel with revolving push-doors, the man would enter first but go round twice to push the door round completely for the lady, and so she emerged into the room first.
Slightly less ridiculous was the ritual of men standing up whenever a woman arrived or left:
Traditionally, date or no date, when a woman left the dining table to freshen up, any men immediately around her would stand up or slightly rise from their chairs to acknowledge her departure – and then do the same when she returned.
But it was the comments that had the most humorous description of modern day chivalry. Commenter Amensis described how her boyfriend opens the car door for her so she can drive him wherever they are going:
Most of this is simple courtesy. I do like that my guy still opens my car door after 2 years. I misinterpreted it the first time and laughed “What, you think you’re driving?” (I take my driving and my cars seriously, lol.) So now, he holds the door open and jokes saying he thought he was driving.
She went on to explain that her current boyfriend is so special, she lets him pay. Before she changed lanes, she never allowed the men she was “dating” to do this beyond the initial date:
Funny thing is…I just told him this weekend…when I was “dating”, I would allow a guy to pay for the first date, but anything after that I would insist on paying or splitting. Letting a guy pay feels like he thinks there’s a “relationship”. I told my guy he should feel special that I’ve allowed him to pay my way on things (I pay for him at times). Weird, but I guess it’s a trust thing, or that I am comfortable with being “his” and he should feel special that I’ve selected him. I’m sure I’ll get blasted for that, but I’m an adult. I pay my own way through life, mortgage, cars, children, etc. I’m proud and I don’t need anyone’s money. He knows that.
I wonder if she saved any other special treats just for him?
Chivalry is really just a code word for “submissive.”
Slightly less ridiculous was the ritual of men standing up whenever a woman arrived or left:
Isn’t that what Cord Ivanyi was making his students do?
“Confused modern man”…ain’t that the truth…
That is funny. Amusing how he describes who should walk by the road. He says basically everybody is supposed to. Whether you’re walking with a man, woman or child put that person away from the road. Crystal clear.
“But really no one, male or female, should leave the table during a meal unless there is an emergency.” …so she is just supposed to hold it until it becomes an emergency? How is that courteous?
@Patrick
Single file, as close to the buildings as possible. But no one should be in front.
That’s some serious mind ninja right there.
Ah, such a proud working feminista single mother. Such a catch!
With a brush up in language this could be a Babylon Bee article. But then again, the Bee has been caught doing straight news lately.
I pay my own way through life, mortgage, cars, children, etc.
Children? So she’s a single mom? And she doesn’t accept child support from a man, or welfare from the state?
I told my guy he should feel special that I’ve allowed him to pay my way on things … and he should feel special that I’ve selected him.
Shouldn’t that be the other way around? Shouldn’t she feel special that he’s selected her, and that he’s willing to pay for her?
Well, we all know that she thinks she’s the prize to be won. And to judge by all of the young men I’m hearing about who marry single mothers, I can only guess that young millennial men think that a woman who has borne children from men who aren’t and never were her husbands are a prize to be won. Only Chad gets to dip his stick for free. You get to raise his brood, and you’re lucky that she chose you.to do that. Consider it the highest of honors.
I’m proud and I don’t need…
Yes. We know you very well.
Kidding aside, every time I hear about a distant relative or the son of friends or acquaintances wifing up a single mother, I face palm.
My wife made my day this morning.
It’s the first Vagintine’s Day to pass since we’ve been married, and just to “test the waters,” I presented her with a single red rose and a tiny box of chocolates (nasty of me, since we’re both on a diet). While she was pleased that I was so thoughtful as to do this, she did say “you know you didn’t have to do this. This is, you know, a perverted, pagan holiday and we shouldn’t be celebrating it as Christians.* Besides, we love each other year round and have our own special anniversaries coming up soon. Let’s save any celebrating for those days.”
I must have hugged and kissed her for 20 straight minutes.
Oh, and did I mention that’s she’s not an American woman?
(*She says the same thing about Halloween and Mother’s Day and Father’s Day)
Occasionally when we are out in public, Mychael and I will observe an elderly couple walking together, maybe headed out to their car.
Hunched over, moving slowly, holding hands. He will open the door for her and get a kiss from her.
We find this very sweet and still act like this now. I hope we do forever.
But here’s the thing. Mychael makes all our meals exactly the way I like them. She wears her clothes and hair exactly the way I like. She even goes to the extent to check with me before we leave the house in case I don’t like something she has on.
She never craps on me to my children. She tells me how awkward it is when nurses she works with talk shit about their hard working husbands and she’s only one praisibg hers.
Chivalry, as a set of rules for how all men should treat all woman is stupid.
But as I said in a previous post, may God grant every man who wants one find his own Mychael.
@ Scott
It’s not just stupid, it’s evil.
A rational moral system punishes destructive behavior and rewards constructive behavior. If a man treats all women equally, that means he treats a drunken, tattooed, obese, single mother of five kids by five men with the same respect he treats a chaste, godly wife and mother.
What message does that send all the young women faced with the choice of which way to go? If bad behavior nets the same reward good behavior nets, why engage in good behavior (which we all know is more difficult)?
Men who treat trashy whores with the same respect they treat chaste, godly women reward bad behavior, and that’s evil.
@ The Question
Great comment
From the Dept. of Fried Ice:
Relevant to this topic, Rollo dinged it in his Twitfeed. An Atlantic article tells us Hypergamy Is Good For You. Exclusivity is bad — for women. Preach that evangel: Women want to feel like they’re the prize (!), it’s a turn on to be desired by a special man. Except that, over time, as he’s licked in, even if he still desires her it’s not good enough. She wants to be desired at 10 years in as she was on day 1 when they met, and he had options, but chose her. But now that he’s stuck around, and doesn’t have options, her special man is just another Mr. Dyingly Sad. Time to trade up. It’s scientific! It’s electric!
Here endeth the lesson.
https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2019/02/women-get-bored-sex-long-term-relationships/582736/
Resistance is fertile.
Semi-related to the OP:
https://www.sfgate.com/lifestyle/article/why-dating-is-terrible-hard-apps-tinder-single-13611204.php
Comment under the link’s slide image 16:
“People seem to think getting married and having a family is totally at odds with career success.”
Off Topic: Science confirms the obvious.
https://www.upi.com/Health_News/2019/02/12/Unfit-obese-teen-boys-at-higher-risk-for-chronic-disease/2051550003749/
I’m old enough to remember when each class had one fat kid. These days, fat kids are the norm.
@Oscar, that’s the weirdest thing, I’m in my 30s and we had the one fat kid thing going on too. For real, throughout elementary to high school, you had one, maybe two if the group was big.
Chivalry is really just a code word for “submissive.”
I think it is more properly seen as pedestalizing women, even idolizing women, as in making women into idols, that is, false gods. Isn’t it a coincidence that many modern women talk about themselves as goddesses?
Pingback: Revolving door chivalry. | Reaction Times
Scott says:
February 14, 2019 at 12:26 pm
…
But here’s the thing. Mychael makes all our meals exactly the way I like them. She wears her clothes and hair exactly the way I like. She even goes to the extent to check with me before we leave the house in case I don’t like something she has on.
She never craps on me to my children. She tells me how awkward it is when nurses she works with talk shit about their hard working husbands and she’s only one praising hers…
**************************************
Same here on every point.
“Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”
As luck wold have it, wife is still charming and beautiful!
I’m old enough to remember when each class had one fat kid. These days, fat kids are the norm.
Curious, how an increase in Fat Boys correlates with an increase in Strong, Independent, Obese Single Moms. (Not that that proves causation.)
Actually, when I was a child, my father mocked me for being fat. Not that I was fat by today’s standards. More puffy and soft. But it inspired me to lift weights and go for long walks, because I didn’t enjoy my father making fun of me.
@RPL
Got me wondering did they track the percentage of obese boys to see if there was a significant enough difference between boys raised by single mothers and boys who grew up with a father?
She’s lying. She took everything she could get off every man she could… just like the rest of her ilk.
The fat kid in my elementary school class was the only kid in the entire class being raised by a single mom.
Centuries before the internet, we had this Puritan commentary from Thomas Boston, writing about the Seventh Commandment:
https://www.truecovenanter.com/sermons/bostoncommand7.html
(2.) It [uncleanness] is a sin that very few ever get grace to repent of. It stupefies the conscience, and wastes all sense of sin from it, Hos. 4.11. I have seen, alas! too many that have made public satisfaction for that sin; but allow me to say, I have seen very few by whose repentance I was much edified. Hear what the Spirit of God says of these unhappy people, Prov. 2.19, ‘None that go unto her, return again, neither take they hold of the paths of life.’ None, that is, very few; but some indeed do, as among the Corinthians, 1 Cor. 6.9,11. And be not offended, but cautioned, if I say, that few women particularly ever get grace to repent of it. Solomon said it before me, Eccl. 7.28, ‘A woman among all those have I not found.’ And observe what is said, Acts 24.25, that Felix trembled when Paul preached, though he repented not; but there is not a word of Drusilla’s being moved.
Kidding aside, every time I hear about a distant relative or the son of friends or acquaintances wifing up a single mother, I face palm.
It’s the way ahead. What could be more chivalrous? I was talking with an 82 year old man the other day. He showed me a photo of his Grandson’s intended (Grandson in his 20’s, never married). She was of course a divorcee, albeit a bona fide beauty (physically speaking), along with her two nice looking kids, older than the grandson by some number of years I forget how much.
I asked him what advice he was giving him if any. He said, I told him he has a great deal going there and “not to screw it up”.
All I could think was dead man walking. I hope I’m wrong.
Opportunities for post-chivalry are everywhere.
In the gym this morning, a woman was struggling to unload the bar when she cheerfully pleaded over to me.
“Isn’t there a easy way to do this?”, obviously expecting me to white knight-up.
“No, there isn’t,” I replied and gave her my best patriarchal smirk before returning to the squat rack.
Dalrock isn’t just a blog;it’s a praxis.
Red Pill Latecomer says:
Random Angeleno says:
theShield220 says:
When correlation is strong enough, we can reasonably infer causation. But, I bet if one were to isolate variables, one could prove that the rise of single motherhood is at least one major cause of obesity.
Obviously, there are others, like welfare, but welfare also correlates strongly with single motherhood.
Having owned some old cars in my time, I know what it looks like when someone is keeping a failing machine just barely running with repairs on the cheap. There comes a point when parts get hard to find, and making-do comes into effect.
Looks like the Daily Mail went out to the back barn to dig around for some metal scraps, welding rod and bailing wire…
Don’t you love those good old days of patriarchal oppression, when men would stand up to acknowledge the presence of a lady, when she would nod or curtsy and say, ”Thank you sir”, because she was brought up by a strict father?
Things are just so improved these days. From my understanding of rap videos, modern-day women are smart, sassy, wag their heads and fingers at men a lot, swear and curse. New, improved, advanced and progressive.
I always thought that the story of a man holding a door open for a woman came from castles, where the doors were heavy and women were frequently frail due to malnutrition, TB, or other ailments now controlled by modern technology (vaccines, antibiotics – all stuff invented by men). The revolving door mentioned above is new to me.
The revolving door that isn’t new to me is women’s ”cult of the boyfriend”. As a young man, I attracted women, but relations would quickly sour once I asked about what future they wanted. If you were serious about a future – you wanted marriage and children – you were shunned like an Amish fornicator. They wanted ”their freedom”, they said. Plenty of time for marriage ”when I’m 30” they said.
Fast forward a generation. My son has far less trouble attracting women than I did. Yet, if he mentioned a future with them, they avoided him like Dracula avoids a wooden stake. I once saw the look of horror on the faces of his peers when he mentioned he wanted marriage and a family.
So he found a woman from the heart of traditional catholic Europe, whose parents brought her up with the notion that marriage was right and she was not to be a slut.
He’s engaged.
Article from a Tradcon website older article from 2017.
https://www.charismamag.com/blogs/fire-in-my-bones/33034-don-t-swallow-the-red-pill
Even mentions our host in the article.
Lots of Tradcons acting like feminists in the comment section. Some women even call themselves Christian feminists?!!?. A few commentators get it.
Jack Russel: Wow. What a find. It tells you everything this blog has been warning us about: The half-truths churchian pastors put out.
In the example given, notice that the wife again is an innocent angel, and the horrible husband got himself some red-pill heresy and all of a sudden, began manipulating her (”avoiding sex with her” – very funny), to the point where she ”feared” he would become abusive, so she divorces him?
I found the ”red pill” when I began asking myself in despair, why my wife, my female boss, and other women had treated me so badly. I found to my bitter dismay, that I had done everything ”right” according to social and church conditioning, and that this was a licence to take me for granted.
Perhaps the husband is a bad guy. Perhaps he made her eat camel dung. We don’t know about his until we hear his side of the story, but I know this for sure: He didn’t stumble onto the red pill manosphere. He looked for it, probably because he needed a coping mechanism to understand why he is being taken for granted.
And the comments: the ”mature Christian wife” is always into ”mutual submission”, always explaining and rationalising away the clear commands of scripture (1 Pet 3 mentions Sarah. That was the Old Covenant…”), even going so far as to undermine scripture (”the word ”submit” doesn’t even exist in some manuscripts…”) – thereby undermining ALL of scripture with a lie.
Christian feminists are nothing but radical buzz-cut, fluro-dyed dungaree-wearing, overweight pseudo-lesbian liberal arts graduates with a Christian coat of paint on them. Scratch off the paint and all you have is the UGLY.
That site also promotes the “Anointing Series” of four books about women: https://shop.charismamag.com/collections/monthly-bundled-deals/products/charisma-subscription-anna-anointing-deborah-anointing-esther-anointing
The books are:
The Anna Anointing: Become a Woman of Boldness, Power and Strength
The Deborah Anointing: Embracing the Call to Be a Woman of Wisdom and Discernment
The Esther Anointing: Becoming a Woman of Prayer, Courage and Influence
The Ruth Anointing: Becoming a Woman of Faith, Virtue and Destiny
Details about the books at the site. The titles alone are enough to make me cringe.
I used to respect Grady. We both were in the same campus ministry among other things. But he has gone full wacko and you should never go full wacko. He worships women far too much and I believe he doesn’t even realize that.
Too many Christian women are infected with far more feminism than they realize. They believe they oppose the radical parts, but they support women ruling over men, which is the entire point.
Judgment will begin in the House of God.
@BillyS
Wow, you sure filled that comment section!
Notice Grady’s comments:
Grady is a pentecostal, the denomination which has never put any boundary on women teaching in church, and has written multiple articles in Charisma Magazine with the same one-sided approach. Not surprising if you know he has a ministry to PROMOTE women in church leadership:
Some other of Grady’s articles:
https://www.charismamag.com/blogs/fire-in-my-bones/36862-why-beth-moore-s-challenge-can-t-be-ignored
Her article, which went viral on social media as soon as it was posted, reminds me of Martin Luther’s post on the Wittenburg Door. Beth stuck her neck out further than she ever has, in an act of prophetic bravery, to challenge the spirit of patriarchal pride that has infected our churches for too long.
https://www.charismamag.com/blogs/fire-in-my-bones/37030-you-can-be-free-from-a-religious-spirit
A religious spirit rejects progressive revelation and refuses to embrace change. This is why many churches become irrelevant to society. They become so focused on what God did 50 years ago that they become stuck in a time warp and cannot move forward when the Holy Spirit begins to open new understanding. When religious groups refuse to shift with God’s new directives, they become “old wineskins,” and God must find more flexible vessels that are willing to implement change.
https://www.charismamag.com/blogs/fire-in-my-bones/38629-let-s-be-honest-christian-women-have-been-hurt-in-church
Yet I have found that we really aren’t talking enough in the church about the obvious tension between the genders. Christian women are deeply wounded—not just because of sexual abuse but also because of blatant gender prejudice and insensitive comments from their brothers in Christ. […] Demands for “submission.” […] Women have been told they should never preach or lead in the church, and some who did step out in their leadership gifts were called “Jezebel” or worse. Others were installed in pastoral roles but not allowed to use the title “pastor.” Others were told that the only time God uses women in leadership “is when a man refuses to step into his rightful place.” […] It’s time to stop abusing, muzzling and minimizing the spiritual gifts of our sisters in Christ.
You can find more of his articles, and will see the same gist.
And some comments from a member of his Board (https://themordecaiproject.org/board/):
Rev. Barbara Wintroble; From time to time a person will appear on the world scene with incredible revelation from the Word of God. Often we call them a “reformer”. Lee Grady is such a person! His fresh insight concerning God’s plan for women is destined to change the course of the Church in history!
For any young women and for those with daughters. Roosh has released a new book:
–Why the ideology of feminism has been so effective at hurting women and dividing them from good men
–Why so many men do not want more than casual sex with you
–An easy shortcut to identifying men who are serious about creating a family
–Two reasons why a man decides not to make you his girlfriend
–5 things that a man wants from a woman. The more of these you’re able to provide, the more likely a man will be eager to marry you.
–Two changes you need to make to drastically improve your beauty, and details on exactly how to achieve them. Many women focus on the little things, but it’s these two big areas that will cause men to see you the most favorably.
–The number one mistake women make that causes men not to invest in them
–Dating has an atrocious failure rate when it comes to finding long-term partners, but I share my dating strategy to minimize getting sexually used before connecting with a worthy man.
–Two pieces of advice if you’re over 30 and feel like you’re running out of time
–Two common ways that a long-term relationship fails, and how to bounce back from one to meet a man before time runs out
https://www.rooshvstore.com/books/lady/?utm_medium=review&utm_campaign=lady&utm_source=rv
One of the most helpful tips is how to screen out players. Men who are not at all serious about starting a family vs men who are:
https://www.rooshv.com/lady-review-its-absolutely-packed-with-good-info
@Paul
Deliberate conflation of good with evil.
Thereby making good evil and evil good(Isaiah 5:20).
Godly masculinity is made to look: “Abusive,controlling and Macho”. Godly headship is made to be wickedness. Obedience to the Law becomes sin.
@BillyS
“Too many Christian women are infected with far more feminism than they realize. They believe they oppose the radical parts, but they support women ruling over men, which is the entire point.”
If they don’t repent. There is doubt that the holy spirit evil dwells within them. For David filled with that same holy spirit tore his clothes when Nathan the Prophet preached to him about his sin.
@Spike I found the ”red pill” when I began asking myself in despair, why my wife, my female boss, and other women had treated me so badly. I found to my bitter dismay, that I had done everything ”right” according to social and church conditioning
Same story here. I believe God led me to discover “red pill”, and from there gradually rediscover the biblical message on marital headship-submission. Only after I changed my mindset I saw improvements happen. Before that, I had followed into “counseling”, which only had limited effect on my wife’s behavior. When I started acting with “man is head, wife submits” in mind, with God’s help, things started to improve ever since.
BillyS,
Good job with your comments at Charisma magazine.
Bee and Paul,
I forgot that was a really old thread before I got carried away late last night.
Ann is certainly indicative of a lot of modern “church ladies” who don’t realize how feminist and nonconforming to God’s Word they are.
Ann is certainly indicative of a lot of modern “church ladies” who don’t realize how feminist and nonconforming to God’s Word they are.
I know that it has been said hereabouts before, but the last, ultimate battle on earth between Good and Evil before Jesus’s return is going to involve the same two combatants as the original battle in the Garden: man and woman. The untamable spirit of rebellion within woman is going to be at the root of all other forms of rebellion and wickedness.
Further to my last comment, the prevalence of “christofeminism” is the main reason why the church today is completely useless as a force against the culture and why it is sand and darkness rather than salt and light.
In case someone doesn’t read them, Ann was one proclaiming she was a Christian feminist in the comments to the Charisma article. She is very contentious and holds her beliefs above what is Written in the Scriptures.
I’m not feeling very chivalrous towards “Pastor” Nadia Bolz-Weber.
She literally looks like Satan to me. Incredibly creepy.
Bolz-Weber left her husband because he didn’t bang her properly (according to her). According to her, her new BF really knows how to lay pipe … but to be honest if a guy really knows how to lay pipe, why would he be with Pastor Vagina to begin with?
Ah, the mysteries of life.
And then to think Bolz-Weber is more or less promoted by the EO (Evangelical Broadcaster) in the Netherlands. The EO is a national broadcaster supported by traditional protestant Christians.
https://translate.google.com/translate?sl=auto&tl=en&u=https%3A%2F%2Flazarus.nl%2F2018%2F07%2Fboek-nadia-bolz-weber%2F
Apparently pastor Bolz-Weber has had an abortion, and feels no shame for it.
https://www.newyorker.com/news/on-religion/the-lutheran-pastor-calling-for-a-sexual-reformation
.. and her boyfriend is not even Christian according to her.
I’m not sure if I should be happy about that or not.
I would prefer that rather than any pretense she was following Christianity.
I hope Grady finds Jesus before I find him.
”And then to think Bolz-Weber is more or less promoted by the EO (Evangelical Broadcaster) in the Netherlands. The EO is a national broadcaster supported by traditional protestant Christians.”
The broadcasting network is clearly promoting subversion and destruction of traditional protestantism.
It sounds like a scam. Similar to those “jobs” where you pay your employers thousands of dollars, so that you can work for them for no pay. The employers try to make excuses for this scam by saying that they are providing you with “experience”.
That woman is full of shit, and the guy is a sucker.
^This! I can’t press the star symbol enough.
How do people even gain weight?
I spent the entire month from Dec. 19, 2018 to Jan. 20, 2019, being a couch potato and doing nothing but watch videos and TV shows on my phone. Though I occasionally got up to eat or to go to the bathroom. I ended up with hypothyroidism and lost 3 lbs, even though hypothyroidism was supposed to make people over weight.
I cant phantom how can people become obese. Like, what is the secret to gaining weight?
How about the term Gilded Gals
Maybe she pays his bills. Harley’s aren’t cheap. And who says he doesn’t have other GF’s on the side.
@BillyS
https://religionnews.com/2018/04/24/us-assemblies-of-god-elects-first-woman-executive-in-more-than-a-century/
I *think* I’ve posted this before, to enhance your point as regards female leadership in charismata. Note the looks on the faces of the men in the background.
TL;DR
…the Assemblies of God, founded in 1914, has had a “fascinating history” of women’s leadership, with women leading congregations and speaking from pulpits in its early days and later often finding their roles restricted.
But in 2010, the General Presbytery, a policymaking body, determined that “we cannot find convincing evidence that the ministry of women is restricted according to some sacred or immutable principle.”
Pedestal-a-palooza. I grew up in the AoG and have long since left. I have friends/acquaintances in it to this day. Same wifely rebellion as everybody else, without even an inkling of any help from the “church.” They talk in circles and weird code worse than anything posted here to rationalize their wives’ behavior. 90% misery rate.
I wish I had your problem Asaph.
.. and her boyfriend is not even Christian according to her.
She isn’t either, so there’s nothing to worry about.