14 And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle,[c] encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all. 15 See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone. 16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 19 Do not quench the Spirit.
–1 Thessalonians 5:14-19 (ESV)
3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
–Titus 2:3-5 (ESV)
From Cafe Mom: Wife Gets Roasted for Post About Cleaning Up After Husband | CafeMom
As a younger wife (especially in the baby & toddler zone) this often made me irritated. “Don’t I have enough to clean up daily after the kids!” 😒 years ago I actually felt bitterness about it.
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But these little things represent his presence in our home. What if they weren’t there each day? What else would be missing from our lives? His laugh, his comfort, his guidance? How many women and children are living that harsh sadness out?
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The scattered trail of his daily routine means I have a husband who keeps coming home. I’m not doing life on my own. I’m not raising my girls by myself. .
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And that is a cause for gratitude, not irritation ❤️ if you’re in that mode sister, take a breath, this is a common attitude trap for us. And You’re most likely tired. But Remember-It’s not “your burden” it’s your gift. ❤️
The wife in question (Holly Simon) posted this on Facebook, and as the article notes it didn’t go over well in the social media henhouse. Resentment and a miserly outlook are the core fuels of feminism, so proposing gratitude is a direct attack on what nearly everyone thinks is progress and enlightenment.
This however shows an opportunity for any Christian leaders who want to be faithful to Scripture and help rescue wives from the torment of the feminist mind frame. Christian leaders could teach the same message as Holly Simon did above, and they could urge older Christian women to do the same.
In the past I’ve noted that nearly all Christian leaders are terrified of the kind of violent clucking Simon experienced when she offended feminist sensibilities. Others have noted that Christian leaders very often have a financial stake in not ruffling feminist feathers. Both are certainly true, but we shouldn’t underestimate how much of the unwillingness to challenge feminism comes from a love of chivalry. On the extreme conservative side we have pastors like Pastor Tim Bayly who proudly calls his wife lord, and argues that Christianity would be much better if all Christian husbands did the same. Feminist resentment creates an opportunity to urge husbands to submit to their wives. It also fits with the chivalrous idea of the husband nobly suffering at the capricious hands of his wife, just as Lancelot suffered for Guinevere. That this childish game also causes suffering for the wife herself, not to mention the children and the rest of the family, is considered a small price to pay to indulge the chivalrous temptation.
Ingratitude, thy name is feminism.
‘Chivalry’ in the modern usage of the term is just a rationalization of extreme cowardice and cuckservatism.
It also fits with the chivalrous idea of the husband nobly suffering at the capricious hands of his wife,
The amount of rationalization that one has to undertake to imagine this is somehow good, is astounding. This is where the male rationalization hamster rival’s the female’s.
Rollo asserts that there was some celebration of men on Father’s Day: those who choose to wife up single mothers or otherwise support the children of other men. I wasn’t paying attention to media earlier this week, and rarely pay attention to Twitter, so I have no opinion. There is supposedly a commercial for Dove soap that reinforces the notion of “A Real Father Is Any Man Who Cares For Children” but I have not yet found anything on YouTube.
However, it would fit several trends: open Hypergamy, plus the “Cads Play, Betas Pay” dualistic sexual strategy and the romantic “manUP! Mary was a single mother, too!” message too many churches are selling. Later suffering by the Beta man at the hands of the “Alpha Widow” would be just a bonus, fulfilling the chivalrous temptation.
It occurs to me that a person with a lot of pride, “prideful” in the sense of the book of Proverbs, is going to find gratitude very difficult. Because gratitude essentially requires suppression of pride, in fact it tends to lead to a bit of humility.
How can a woman be strong ‘n independent that way? Horrors!
My wife has already emailed me twice today. Both times to thank me for two things I did. Those things were already in my “job description” as a husband, but she took the time to thank me anyway.
Looking back over the years, this has been a constant theme with her since we met. She weaves thankfulness into her daily life. I hear it often and she demonstrates it in other ways too.
decided to click thru to the original facebook post to read some of the more “edgy” comments, and holy smokes it does not disappoint.
also for what it’s worth, i noticed that almost every woman who left a scathing remark was a single fat mom.
what a world we live in.
Does Pastor Bayly understand that only a man can be a lord? A female of noble birth is a lady, not a lord.
Furthermore, the Latin word for “lord” is “dominus” (the feminine of which is “domina”), from which we derive the English word “dominate”. “Dominus”, or “domina”, is how slaves would refer to their owners.
I thought pastor Bayly was supposed to be a complementarian. If his wife is his “dominus” – his lord – then that makes him an authoritarian, with his wife as the one in authority over him, the one who dominates him, the one who owns him.
Does pastor Bayly realize that the Holy Spirit, through the Apostle Peter, commended Sarah for referring to Abraham as her lord (1 Peter 3:6), and not the other way around? Does Pastor Bayly think that Jesus Christ refers to the Church as His “lord” – His “dominus”?
Why do these pastors insist on cross-dressing the Scriptures?
How many today would be “comfortable” with wives calling their husbands “lord” even though that is written in the Scriptures?
I’ve lurking here for a long time. As usual Dalrock nails it. Sadly, both men and women do not have anyone to mentor them on their roles in society. Everyone is worse off for it.
I thought this article was apropos:
Stop Being a Butthole Wife
Wives are taught to be bitter. Never rejoice. No wonder the MGTOW movement holds power over people.
If there are any ladies reading this who don’t quite understand how attractive a submissive wife is to men and absolutely despised by women – in the presence of mixed company go “above and beyond” in submissive service – just once. Demand that you serve him or “sit at his feet”. Watch the eyes of the men who will instantly find you sexy and the women as their eyes flame with contempt.
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@ Mr. Woot
Or, read pretty much any comment section on the topic of the Duggars.
On an off topic note: I hereby submit my nomination for White Knight of the Year.
She was shooting well above her league if she was friendzoned. She is attractive enough to pull plenty of guys.
@Mr.Woot, at the neighborhood Super Bowl party this year, most of guys were drinking bottled beer out on the patio and enjoying the game on TV there. The game was also on in the family room with the wives and younger kids.
One of the younger wives came out to the patio and asked all of the guys if they needed refills. Negative. She then re-asked her husband to be sure. She did this loud enough for the other cluckers in the henhouse to hear it.
But then she did something incredible. One of the wives said to her that there are more bottles in the garage refrigerator. But the younger wife instead grabbed a frosted mug from the freezer, poured a new bottle of beer into it (perfectly), and brought it out to her husband. Mouths agape, the clucking in the family room stopped. And I swear to God you could see mini mushroom clouds going off between the ears of these women.
She pranced out to the patio, cute as can be, full frosted beer mug in hand and ALL of the guys were cheering for her arrival “HEEEYYYYYY!” like a touchdown had just been scored.
The difference in attitude, gratitude and response could not have been more stark.
@Oscar
I’ll bet he stays home and watches the little girl while mommy goes out and gets dick salad.
continued…she did all this for her husband. A small thing. But it was how she did it too.
I feel similar to Simon with my own wife and kids at times. With 5 young kids in the house, things are always chaotic and loud. It drives me nuts at times. However, i know that when they are grown and out of the house, I will miss the noise and activity levels they brought to our home. In moments of clarity, I am so thankful for the mess and noise becuase they mean I have a house full of healthy loving kids. Same thing with my wife. I get annoyed when she does or doesnt do certain things when it comes to housework. But like Simon realized in her marriage, at least I have a wife who loves me, gave me 5 kids, and does her best to be a great mom and wife. I would certainly miss even the annoying things she does were anything to happen to her.
She was shooting well above her league if she was friendzoned. She is attractive enough to pull plenty of guys.
Eh, Billy, it’s the guy who is acting as a father to her kid while not being in a relationship with her that is being friendzoned. It’s the extreme beta orbiter scenario.
Oscar
On an off topic note: I hereby submit my nomination for White Knight of the Year.
Gosh, he’s her hero, yet he has not yet mannedUP and married her. How strange. Almost as though she’s using him as a utility while she waits for another man. Or his “nice guy” Beta orbiting isn’t paying off the way he expects it to. She’s grateful, but not as grateful as one might expect…why? Hmmm…..
The two talking heads are almost useless in their “yes, but” blather; the Tweet is gold.
Feminists have replaced ‘Gratitude’ with ‘Fattitude’.
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I think the real answer is that Gratitude is the cure for Feminism. Karen-cut hairdos to four-digit pedicures, soak it in some gratitude and it all begins to come apart.
@Dalrock,
As much grief as you ‘d give the late C. S. Lewis about his romanticizing of Courtly Chivalry and compromises with adultery (in writing and life), I thought the counterpoint referencing his friend John Tolkien might be of interest.
J. R. R. Tolkien on Love, Sex, and Marriage (Cliff’s Notes version)
I think the real answer is that Gratitude is the cure for Feminism.
Gratitude is a state that requires a humble frame of mind. Therefore gratitude can be cure for pride as well as envy.. Feminism is all about pride and envy.
Therefore…
It strikes me just how joyless are these feminists and their enablers. In fact, they embrace suffering and unhappiness, in whatever form of self-torture they prefer. Joy and happiness, it seems, are sinful.
And they have the audacity to call this, “Christianity.”
@Oscar
Because those pastors are false teachers with shiny sheepskins. Leading many to perdition.
@Oscar
I suppose I deserve the nomination although it was partly in jest. I am fairly confident that most of the women within the church were not “taught by the older women” to be “submissive and take care of the house and children”. The women are oblivious to respect. I have engaged with the SJWs where I was told under no circumstances “that as a woman there is no way I am kissing my male boss’ ass. He has to earn my respect before I take instruction from him”.
Perhaps it’s just my confirmation bias, but the anthropology found in Scripture, even though it was written 2000 plus years ago in cultures alien to my own, corresponds remarkably with behaviors I have observed in my own life. The typical fractious wife isn’t satisfied with mere equality with her husband, but rather seeks the upper hand in the relationship leading to the relationship’s ruin in one form or another. Eve in the Garden.
Complementarians are presumptuously demanding readmission to the Garden and the pre-fall relationship between Adam and Eve. Ironically, their mindset would only cause the fall to happen all over again, possibly with the woman smashing some china on the ground until the man caves and bites the apple.
I’m reminded of the woman who posted ideas for husband’s lunches on social media. She had made sandwiches that he loved and never complained about, made him lunch from dinner leftovers and wanted to do more, so she asked for ideas.
She didn’t get any ideas. She got a torrent of abuse.
Even IF a woman desires to do right by the man who has chosen her, looks after her, ensures she doesn’t have to work, makes a good life for her often at his own expense, the Feminist Borg Collective will bring her down.
I learned from a friend that the word translated “reviled” in the above verse, or “maligned” in other translations is actually the Greek word for “blaspheme”. But somehow, in that verse it’s downgraded to “revile” or “malign” which isn’t nearly as bad. Here’s the word:
https://biblehub.com/greek/987.htm