Iman Hariri-Kia at Elite Daily is outraged in College Men Are Finally Asking For Consent — But Only Because They’re Afraid Of Being “MeToo’d”
But the majority of women and femmes also believe men are actively seeking consent for the wrong reasons. Thirty-nine percent of those surveyed feel men are asking for consent because they’re afraid of being publicly accused of sexual assault.
Yet striking fear in men was the goal from the beginning, as Ezra Klein at Vox.com explained back in 2014 in “Yes Means Yes” is a terrible law, and I completely support it (emphasis mine):
”No Means No” has created a world where women are afraid. To work, “Yes Means Yes” needs to create a world where men are afraid.
From the article it is clear that what really bothers feminists is not that men fear being victimized by the #MeToo witch hunt, but that #MeToo is recognized as victimizing men:
“#MeToo’d” is a phrase that keeps coming up in my conversations with college women and femmes. They claim to have heard college men use it in excess and in a defensive manner when describing the “threat of being accused of sexual assault.” (“You wouldn’t want to get #MeToo’d, make sure you don’t get #MeToo’d.”) It even has its own Urban Dictionary entry, which defines the slang term as “when a woman ruins your life by accusing you of sexual assault or sexual harassment, without any evidence or [past] the time that any evidence could be collected.” This phrase is hugely problematic, as it steers the conversation away from women and their bodies and onto men and their feelings.
This social response to #MeToo is the wholly natural reaction to a process founded on not distinguishing between real and false accusations. The callousness with which feminists like Hariri-Kia dismiss men’s fears of false accusations is breathtaking, and is what animates the larger #MeToo movement. They really can’t conceive that men are living, breathing, human beings, or understand why they wouldn’t want to be falsely accused. The reality is that the vast majority of men don’t rape, so the only logical behavioral change on their part isn’t to stop doing something they already didn’t do, but take necessary measures to prevent being falsely accused.
Still, we are very early on in the response to Yes Means Yes and #MeToo, so the full reaction hasn’t yet occurred. Over the long term the SJW pogroms will eventually birth a generation of men who eschew both feminism and feminism’s foundation, chivalry. #MeToo is founded on men’s goodwill towards women, and driven by a very open disdain of men. Long term something will have to give, but in the meantime the reservoir of men’s goodwill is so deep as to be seemingly inexhaustible.
Note: If like me you were confused by the term “women and femmes”, here is an explanation.
Another example of “I’m not a slut, he assaulted me – each time.”
“Jefferies’ Zervos Sued by Wife’s Trainer Over Tryst Gone Bad” in Bloomberg,
” A Miami Beach-based personal trainer named Darnell Davis claims he engaged in a three-continent affair with Zervos’s wife, and the couple — rather than splitting up — filed false charges of assault and unlawful restraint against him.”
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2019-08-07/jefferies-zervos-sued-by-wife-s-trainer-who-says-tryst-went-bad
Exhibit one million in the trial of Campus Kangaroo Courts vs. Men.
“She Verbally Consented To Sex But The School Determined He Committed Sexual Assault Because He ‘Cajoled’ Her With Flattery.”
“A new lawsuit filed against Pennsylvania State University includes several abnormalities, including the school’s decision to review the first hearing into a student’s alleged sexual misconduct and the decision to change the definition of consent in the middle of the disciplinary proceedings.
“John Doe, as he is referred to in court documents reviewed by The Daily Wire, was accused of sexually assaulting a student referred to as Jane Roe at the end of January 2018. The two had met the previous spring since they were both part of the Schreyer’s Honors College. On January 26, 2018, the two met up again in a computer lab and started talking. They then started flirting and Jane put her number into John’s phone, according to the lawsuit, and texted herself, ‘I LOVE YOU.’ …
“The two engaged in sexual intercourse. After the encounter, Jane continued to flirt with John over text messages and allegedly told her friends she wanted to have sex with him again. The lawsuit claims Jane later changed her account of the sexual encounter to claim that John physically forced her into sex and that she tried to get away from him.
“A hearing panel was convened, and John was denied due process, as have many students — he was not allowed to call witnesses in his defense or cross-examine his accuser or the witnesses against him. Jane was allowed to present “new information” during her testimony that had not been included in the information John received about the investigation, even though the two were both told explicitly not to bring up “new information.” Jane’s new evidence was her explanations for why she sent flirtatious texts to John before and after their encounter and “explain unfavorable and contradictory information in the packet,” John’s lawsuit states.
“The hearing panel’s chair told Harris that the “panel felt that the respondent’s continual flattery … constitutes cajoling,” giving several examples: “‘Haha nah you beautiful’ followed by two wink emojis, then followed by ‘I wanna be both’ and ‘You’re beautiful’ and [‘]I’m not that emotional, I could be both’ after she clearly stated ‘Still not gonna f*** u, friend’ followed by two squinting face with tongue emojis and her statement that [hooking up] ‘ruins friendships,[‘].” …
“Jane made her accusation against John six months after their encounter in January 2018, and the hearing did not occur until 2019. …
“Prior to the second hearing, John was provided with a copy of the university’s new definition of consent, which included the word “cajoling” as part of the definition of coercion. The definition was not, at the time, published anywhere public by the school, but was used against him in the new hearing.”
https://www.dailywire.com/news/49945/she-verbally-consented-sex-school-determined-he-ashe-schow
“If like me you were confused by the term “women and femmes”, here is an explanation.”
I read it. Where do I apply to get that two minutes of my life back? After all, I already knew America had become ClownWorld. More evidence was just pouring water on a wet rock.
If there was a lesson, perhaps it was “don’t read Slate – life is too short.”
Men are doing exactly what we told them to do but they are doing it wrong.
“The goodwill of men is seemingly inexhaustible”
In my profession I have seen two trends:
An increase in female assaults where male bystanders have walked away rather than get involved.
An increase in professional isolation of females as males disengage from mentorship and collaboration at all levels, even to the point of asking to be reassigned.
Quotable ” I can recover from being fired for not being a team player much more easily than I can recover from being me-tooed.”
The Kavanaugh hearings penetrated into the mainstream, focusing the mind of men who would never usually pay attention.
If it can happen to someone at the apex of their profession on a woman’s word, it could destroy me.
It’s the beta male thirst that’s seemingly inexhaustible, not male goodwill.
Even if all mens’ goodwill were to evaporate overnight what can possibly happen? Women have resources and power now. Women look out for other women, they fight for Team Women. Men don’t care about other men. Hopefully the 2016 elections have taught you guys that votes don’t do jack squat either.
Over the long term the SJW pogroms will eventually birth a generation of men who eschew both feminism and feminism’s foundation, chivalry.
I hope to live to see this. What’s the over/under on the secular world giving up chivalry before the church?
Over the long term the SJW pogroms will eventually birth a generation of men who eschew both feminism and feminism’s foundation, chivalry.
I wonder if migrants and Muslims will be that new generation of alphas, the white men having gone MGTOW or LGBT.
And I say this as a reluctant MGTOW, one who failed to marry and procreate.
7817: good.
Feminism has created a monster. Let the women deal with hardship without men’s help.
http://www.ladbible.com/entertainment/film-and-tv-man-refuses-to-offer-women-seat-on-train-as-they-never-do-the-same-20190807?c=1565188190881%3Fsource%3Dfacebook&fbclid=IwAR1N11_UFK_nPDq2XXjR00qcMirtS3SCRYjRg-TOfWUSlK1StAL5SuKYFMw
No wonder millenials don’t have sex anymore. First they have to say, ‘Do I have your permission to . . . ? Do I have your permission to . . . ?’ all the way through, making it the opposite of fun. And then even that is not enough to defend themselves.
This is a major reason why dating, marriage and birthrates are declining and why sexbots are booming.
This kind of feminist garbage is what led me down the path in the direction of taking the red pill about a decade ago. My mom sisters and media told me dont judge women on their looks judge their personality. The more i looked they were lazy lying knifing entitled brats. They have no knowledge of buliding the physical world and have endless demands.
I fell for their crap. We just want fairness. Maybe if women had better jobs men wouldnt pay all that child support. Wrong! They want every aspect of society in their favor and will crank the pressure with anything they have until society collapse and they become property once more.
This kind of feminist garbage is what led me down the path in the direction of taking the red pill about a decade ago. My mom sisters and media told me dont judge women on their looks judge their personality. The more i looked they were lazy lying knifing entitled brats. They have no knowledge of buliding the physical world and have endless demands.
I fell for their crap. We just want fairness. Maybe if women had better jobs men wouldnt pay all that child support. Wrong! They want every aspect of society in their favor and will crank the pressure with anything they have until society collapse and they become property once more.
Dalrock, I couldn’t believe it when I read your title. ROFL. Based Dal.
Larry: https://wegotthiscovered.com/tv/disney-rejects-sylvester-stallone-show-female-focused/
driven by a very open disdain of men
The key to understanding this aspect is that a lot of, in fact most of, this disdain comes from other men.
Get her consent IN WRITING… Beware though, pre-nups get thrown out by courts all the time.
Big20s: get her consent on video. If she accuses you, upload it on the specialized streaming websites.
Star Wars failing to attract today’s kids: https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2019-08-07/star-wars-is-struggling-to-win-over-the-marvel-generation
Article makes no distinction between the old Star Wars and the newer SJW Star Wars.
It’s hard to say this, as someone who grew up pretending to be Han Solo battling Darth Vader and his stormtroopers to rescue Princess Leia. But it must be said: Kids might not be into Star Wars anymore.
Walt Disney Co.’s underwhelming theme-park attendance last quarter was the latest sign that the intergalactic saga isn’t resonating for younger generations raised on Iron Man and Fortnite. …
Star Wars toy sales popped with 2015’s “The Force Awakens,” the start of a trilogy that united Han, Luke and Leia with a new band of heroes, but have slumped since. “Solo: A Star Wars Story,” last year’s spinoff featuring the backstory of beloved characters, utterly bombed. …
@Nicolai Vladivostok
Correction: millennial women are having just as much sex as ever, just with a lot fewer men. If you are not one of the top 5% alpha males still getting any, then you run the risk of having your life ruined just for making the effort. I pray for the day when some poor bastard so situated will exact violent revenge on the cunt who did it to him.
hoes vs. rakes.
Mom, 43, kills son, 2: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7334759/Mom-sentenced-50-years-killing-two-year-old-poisoning-sippy-cup-Vicodin-Benadryl.html
Reading carefully, it appears the mother was 40 when she had this boy. She already has an adult daughter. She also has many tattoos. No mention of a father.
A suburban Philadelphia mother was sentenced Tuesday to 25 to 50 years after pleading no contest to poisoning her two-year-old son a year ago.
Jennifer Clarey, 43, was accused of third-degree murder and child endangerment in the August 2018 death of Mazikeen Clarey.
Bucks County Children and Youth Services conducted a welfare check at Clarey’s Tullytown home on August 25, 2018, and called police claiming she was intoxicated and would not cooperate.
When police responded they found the boy on the bed which was covered in blood and believed he had suffered from an overdose. …
Clarey declined the judge’s offer to speak but said in response to questioning that she had been hospitalized for mental health treatment four times, the last time shortly before her son’s death …
Clarey’s family, including her adult daughter, were in court but said nothing as they sat together in tears, the paper reported.
Opus, yet another Daily Mail story about an American incident.
Nick.
“Disney Rejects Sylvester Stallone’s New Show For Not Being Female-Focused”
https://wegotthiscovered.com/tv/disney-rejects-sylvester-stallone-show-female-focused/
That was a fascinating article, bringing into the open what many have long suspected. But is this a good business strategy? I do film reviews and watch the occasional TV show – and frequently am appalled at their relentless degradation of men and glorification of women. Why do men watch this stuff? And they do watch it.
As this bias becomes even more extreme, will men continue to watch? The coming Star Wars and Marvel films might test men’s appetite for masochistic entertainment.
I do film reviews and watch the occasional TV show – and frequently am appalled at their relentless degradation of men and glorification of women. Why do men watch this stuff? And they do watch it.
I recently saw Stagefright, a 1987 Italian slasher film. As usual, there was a Last Girl. She was frightened, and sought to escape the killer. Unlike many modern horror films, where the woman turns kick-ass on the killer. The film even had a lispy gay man for comic relief.
I prefer watching the older horror and sci-fi films of my youth, to the newer “woke” genre films, with kick-ass women and gay men in stable, loving relationships.
@LK
Why do men watch this stuff? And they do watch it.
I used to think it was simply because they had wives, girlfriends, and daughters that had to be placated and affirmed. Go along to get along with the wife, curry favors from the girlfriend, make sure any daughters know they can be anything they want to be – do anything they want to do in life. Bonus if the show or movie had good looking actresses as fuel for fantasy life during the boring parts.
These days I wonder if the K-12 through university indoctrination has actually converted many boys into card carrying feminist self haters and true believers in their own right.
They watch it because they like it? They watch it because they think they ought to?
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That was a fascinating article, bringing into the open what many have long suspected. But is this a good business strategy? I do film reviews and watch the occasional TV show – and frequently am appalled at their relentless degradation of men and glorification of women. Why do men watch this stuff? And they do watch it.
As this bias becomes even more extreme, will men continue to watch? The coming Star Wars and Marvel films might test men’s appetite for masochistic entertainment.
Yes. I had loved your article on Shazam. I found it extremely accurate and above the “mind resting” entertainment.
As for “why do men watch those?” Well, at first, Terminator, Star Wars, Marvel it was all about the men.
Like with Star Wars, the enthusiasts might go watch the first movie, and, after one or two deceptions, stop, the same way DC isn’t going to smell my money coming their way, because, even if they had my favorite heroes, their storytelling is absolutely atrocious.
Marvel seems to go that route.
Talking about failures, how excited are you to view that show, Batwoman? More excited than for Supergirl’s next season?
Which one makes you want to throw your TV by the window the most?
Dalrock said :
Over the long term the SJW pogroms will eventually birth a generation of men who eschew both feminism and feminism’s foundation, chivalry.
Yes, but don’t underestimate the lengths cuckservatives will go to in order to force men to risk their lives to deliver fried liquid ice. Cuckservative doubling-down has not reached its eventual cartoonish extreme state by a long shot yet.
Yet there seems to be a faint light at the end of the tunnel. Millennial Catholic girls, and some boys, are returning in droves (comparatively) to the Orders, especially ones that are more orthodox –
https://www.intellectualtakeout.org/article/breaking-old-habits-millennials-make-nun-run
Nick,
Thanks for the trailer for Batwoman. It nicely shows women’s sense of entitlement.
Bruce Wayne is a genius who dedicated himself to pushing the limits of his body from age ten, traveling around the world to learn dozens of esoteric skills (escape, fighting, etc).
Batwoman is just as good because she’s some kind of vet and cop. That she should have to work 15+ years to reach that level – without having a life – would be unfair. Of course guys fall like tenpins before her. She has a butch haircut, an attitude, and Batman’s equipment. What else does a woman need?
Who watches this stuff? I have difficulty seeing it appeal to either guys or girls.
The local benedictine abbey is growing, with a healthy list of postulants..
Lost patrol,
“Bonus if the show or movie had good looking actresses as fuel for fantasy life during the boring parts.”
That was a staple of films, and carried my interest through many a film’s dull stretches. Not so much now, since the women usually dress just like the guys. Since Hollywood likes girls rail thin, when dressed like guys they sorta look like guys (except for the pretty hair and faces, the only feminine aspects that are still PC). It would be wrong to pander to the male gaze!
This is a revolution in films during the past decade. If the superhero fad goes bust, which I suspect will begin in 2020, Hollywood might find itself with a much smaller audience.
Larry says:
Nick, […] Who watches this stuff? I have difficulty seeing it appeal to either guys or girls.
It hasn’t aired yet. It will, in a couple of months.
Journalists, even leftists who have seen the pilot in avant-première, don’t praise it, because they can’t. They say it’s bland, boring…
In my case, I’m the Joker. I just want to see the chaos unfold, and the ratings and viewership, sink!
“Yes, but don’t underestimate the lengths cuckservatives will go to in order to force men to risk their lives to deliver fried liquid ice.”
Ha! Great quote. And there is a lot going on behind the cuckservatives’ behavior here. It’s complex. The concept of even acknowledging male imperatives is just in an infant stage now, but it’s out there. The idea that men can actually live for themselves is just becoming evident. And the boomercucks hate it, so they double-down on their chivalry. They can’t stand to think that there were other options because those other options absolutely blow their lives away. They have to hear a voice somewhere in the back of their mind; “I gave my whole life to HER. This nagging, spoiled wrinklebag who doesn’t appreciate me at all. And, oh man, look at that waitress at the golf course bar. Wow.” But NO! Ignore that voice and urge newer generations of men into the same decades long, pedestalizing role. It’s so cowardly. They would rather have entire generations of men waste their lives in the same way on these miserable hags, just so they don’t have to acknowledge their own regrets.
These days I wonder if the K-12 through university indoctrination has actually converted many boys into card carrying feminist self haters and true believers in their own right.
Some, but the typical ‘male feminist’ is usually just a creepy predator in disguise.
One thing that shocked me, however, is how some lefty ‘men’ have vociferously insisted that Michelle Obama is better looking than her successor, Melania Trump. They weren’t just saying it for virtue signalling, but they seemed to really believe it given how committed they were to this being an indisputable truth.
Next up; an article complaining about how boring and wimpy men are for constantly worrying about consent. Where are the real men who will spontaneously kiss a woman under the moonlight? Whatever happened to unbridled passion?
What will be left out of the article is that laws are framed in such a way that a man can be jailed for physically, (wordlessly) initiating sex at midnight, while sleeping in the same bed as his girlfriend of several years who he’s had sex with hundreds of times. And actually, he can be jailed just because she said he did so even though he was snoring away that whole time.
But men are blamed and criticized for reacting to these insane levels of unfairness. What about black men who take rational steps to protect themselves? I heard that their lives matter, at least.
Batwoman has a Resting Bitch Face. The face women wear when they’re trying to be strong like men (but are instead inadvertently parodying men).
Elite Daily is not a good source for intellectual discussion, so it’s little surprise this piece is so poorly thought out. I went to their Facebook page and it seemed like all the posts were about fashion, makeup, and trendy TV shows. My favorite headline: “Where should you vacation this summer? Depends on your horoscope!”
That said, we need to address her quote: “This phrase is hugely problematic, as it steers the conversation away from women and their bodies and onto men and their feelings.”
First off, it’s a college feminist talking point to claim conversations are being steered “away from women” because men. If you actually look at the focus of most issues in our culture, they’re about women. So she’s basically parroting what her Women’s Studies profs said, except she neglects to factor in context.
And the context is that the conversation has been steered towards me because **they’re half of the #metoo discussion.*** Without men, you’d have no #metoo, so their behavior before and after the movement is crucial to the discussion.
In all, this is just embarrassing, vapid writing. Sadly, it passes for journalism these days. The Web has let all sorts of crap get published, but this wouldn’t have gotten near the printing presses in the old days — even if this woman’s editor had been a feminist which a lot of them were back in the ’80s and ’90s. The difference is they were actually thinkers. This woman is not.
This is largely a clickbait article, so I’m not sure if the author actually seriously believes it (then again, maybe she does, its hard to say).
Seventy-one percent of participants say they know someone who has been allegedly sexually assaulted on a college campus. However, 63% don’t know anyone who has been accused of committing sexual assault on a college campus — a discrepancy that just doesn’t add up. Perhaps it’s that many women aren’t coming forward with the name of their attacker, or maybe schools are still underreporting sexual assault and harassment, “
The simpler explanation of course is that many of these accusations are just baseless rumors and gossip. Anyhow there is another assumption running through this article. All this talk about “men” in general and their participation in casual sex. It gives the impression that college men are participating in casual sex and “hookups” at about the same rate as college women. The truth is of course most young men in college don’t get to participate in casual sex, even if they want to.
A Straight White Male poet celebrates his own demise: https://www.utne.com/arts/new-american-poetry-zm0z19uzhoe
I write this because I’m dying as a poet. My books don’t sell as well or get reviewed as much as they used to. … the present belongs far more to the young, who tend to see and push against their predecessors’ tendencies, their failures and tics, and actively pursue new styles, different content. …
I’m a straight white guy and the face of poetry is finally changing. The hottest book of the past few years is by a black woman. The hottest book of the past year is by a black man, followed closely by a book of poems by a Latina. The hottest book of the moment is by a gay man born in Vietnam.
From winners of major literary prizes in recent years to Amazon’s “Customers Who Bought This Book Also Bought” section, the books that come up least often are by straight white men of any age. The faces of poetry have changed.
In his excellent Sexual Utopia in Power F. Roger Devlin likens women’s need to control men to their being a like a fawcet (tap) to be switched on and off as convenient. He concludes, though the thought he admits it is not original to him, that the best reason he can find for the emergence of allegations of sexual misconduct in levels unknown to earlier generations is, simply put, because women are no longer receiving love. How can they receive love when they act like whores. Women in my view cannot cope with casual sex, for even when they sleep with Chad Thundercock they somehow fail to grasp that when they offer themselves to him he cannot by reason of simple arithmetic marry every women he beds and frankly as every prostitute knows one always receives payment up-front because post-coitus no one wants to pay. Can the rise in MgTOW and LGBT be unconnected to female sexual preference for the Chad’s of this world leaving the majority of men celibate and for decades on end. Women do not appear to understand that men are programmed to take every offer of sexual congress they are offered and that five minutes after the act (if it is too easy of attainment) they will have forgotten even the very details. Women are not built that way and it is wicked of the liberal elite to persuade the ever gullible female sex that there is no difference between male and female desire. The motives of the elite are in my view not their much vaunted equality humbug but the turning of all women into a perpetual harem or riders on a carousel and as Anon rightly says all male feminists are, when one sees their true intent, creepy sexual predators and only too happy to throw their fellow males to the wolves. I think, also, that women (and I have come across it enough times) use a boast of being a victim of Rape or sexual harassment as a form of one-upswomanship for the women who always claim these attacks are the very women you would never make a move on. Funny that.
At this year’s ethics training there was the obligatory sexual assault video.
Afterward, one of the men said he keeps the door open when he has to meet with a woman in one of our “quiet rooms” (a small office with no windows and one door). Several of the women got really mad – one was nearly crying. “We have much more to be afraid of than you do” etc.
I noticed that the cute, young, thin girls that were the most likely to get harassed didn’t really protest.
I described this all to my wife who is very honest about female motivation. She said she thinks they are upset because having the ability to accuse men is a power that they have (even if they don’t use it) and you’re threatening to take it away.
I also think that the unattractive and/or old ones like to maintain the fantasy that some guy might want to harass them – and you’re taking that away from them. Like I said, the cute ones didn’t have a problem with keeping the door open.
Nick M.,
“Journalists, even leftists who have seen the pilot in avant-première, don’t praise it, because they can’t. They say it’s bland, boring…”
Just like Captain Marvel and the others. It’s a structural problem.
Male heroes are either conflicted or broken, which makes them interesting as they “soldier” on.
Women heroes are practically perfect in every way. Look at “Hobbs and Shaw.” The girl MI6 agent kicks ass as well as the guys, but is smarter, more tech-savvy (a hacker, of course), and more mature than the guys. She exercises mommy authority over them to stop their childish behavior.
She is also as dull as dishwater.
@ Red Pill Latecomer
I noticed long ago that most women confuse bitchiness for strength. But now, every female “hero” in every movie or TV show delivers every line in the same flat, monotone vocal fry (see Captain Marvel, and Batwoman) with the same resting bitch face.
It seems that screen writers forgot how to write female characters, and instead write male characters that just happen to have female genitalia. Eventually, they’ll go the whole way and have trannies play all the female characters.
The key to understanding this aspect is that a lot of, in fact most of, this disdain comes from other men.
Novaseeker is correct – and this is yet another sign of a debased civilization, declining into the feral. Abandoning human reason, we fall back on our animal nature and behave as if only by instinct. It doesn’t have to be this way, and it shouldn’t be this way.
This is evidence of further demarcation by women (and men, as Nova points out) between attractive men, and all other men. It’s also evidence of how women see sex and have weaponized sex.
To women, sex is something women have with attractive men for fun, orgasms, attention and validation, and in the longshot hope of a relationship.
Sex is something women give unattractive men in exchange for money, relationships, and social status. More to the point, sex is something unattractive men take from women.
It never occurs to women that men have feelings, wants, needs, emotions, desires, and hopes for their relationships with women. It hasn’t occurred to women that men have expectations for their relationships with women. Somehow, women just haven’t thought about the fact that men don’t want to risk job loss, reputation damage, or jail time for a relationship with women.
Someone said it earlier, wimmins want the power to accuse a man of anything to get themselves out of the consequences of their choices, in case those choices turn out to be bad.
But, what they really want is for men to push back. They want the pimp hand, and they ain’t getting it, so they push and push and push…
It never occurs to women that men have feelings, wants, needs, emotions, desires, and hopes for their relationships with women. It hasn’t occurred to women that men have expectations for their relationships with women. Somehow, women just haven’t thought about the fact that men don’t want to risk job loss, reputation damage, or jail time for a relationship with women.
It’s a general perception problem.
Women seemed to think, for example, that when they were “liberated” from social expectations by second wave feminism, that social expectations on men would more or less remain the same, because they saw men as “already being liberated”. Instead, of course, what happened is that it also became acceptable socially for men to not marry, live single lives, avoid having children and so on in ways that it never generally was prior to second wave feminism. This was inevitable because you can’t free up one sex without it having a freeing impact on the other, for starters, and, more importantly, the issue was that women didn’t see men as being similarly constrained, when in fact they were constrained in many ways prior to second wave feminism, just in different ways than women were.
In the current context, women look at the #metoo situation and think “well, men are not getting assaulted, so what are they worried about?”, when in fact every man, and I mean pretty much *every* man, regardless of what was coming out of his mouth during the height of the #metoo hysteria, was thinking “ok, what do I need to do to protect myself from this”, because that is what any reasonable human being does when adapting to a new set of rules/expectations and circumstances that were emerging and were not, and still are not, fully and concretely articulated. Women are surprised that men went into a defensive stance when men are not worried about being assaulted, because the different concerns men have (just like the different constraints men had prior to second wave feminism) simply do not register on women’s radars as being significant.
Women are more or less incapable of seeing things that impact men, as men, apart from the impact on women. There are exceptions to that, but they are exceptional. Women are designed to protect themselves and their offspring, and mostly from men. That fundamental wiring does not include a lot of empathy perception for men (in terms of understanding things from a male point of view apart from any impact on any woman), but includes an overdose of threat perception and threat mitigation wiring. And so when women are in control of the social discourse, as they more or less are today, the discourse becomes utterly dominated by male-generated threats and the mitigation of those threats, while any actual male concerns are dismissed as irrelevant or insignificant in comparison — because from the perspective of most women, based on the way they are wired, that simply *is* how they experience the world.
A loooooong time ago, when “yes means yes” came up, Rollo Tomassi (and I, to a lesser extent) predicted that it would come to mean consistent and constant verbal communication, that consent would have to be explicitly verbally given, and that nonverbal forms of communication would not suffice.
Rollo was right.
From the article (Emphasis mine):
“Consent is a constant dialogue between partners that fosters comfort and care during sex,” Jennifer Wiggins, M.A., assistant director of sexual assault response and prevention at Georgetown University, staff clinician and sexual assault specialist, and rape crisis counselor, tells Elite Daily. “Consent is given at the free will of each participant and can be revoked at any point in time.”
The conversations happening in classrooms are also taking place in bedrooms. Eighty-four percent of those surveyed say their previous sexual partners have asked them for active, verbal consent while having sex since 2017.
I rest my case. Explicit verbal consent is expected and required under YMY. Nothing less suffices.
“I recently saw Stagefright, a 1987 Italian slasher film.”
Check out “The Church,” if you haven’t already. Soavi’s best film.
Oh, and I hope Ezra Klein gets falsely accused of rape someday.
My spouse’s last assignment (last year) we were at a neighborhood get together (all leadership people), and a Canadian general mentioned an officer (pilot) in a former wing who was completely screwed over by a false rape charge. The accuser eventually admitted making it up, but only after his reputation and career were both ruined for life. A few other people (spouses too) joined in the conversation.
What was interesting to me is….the fact this conversation was even happening. Wouldn’t have happened four years ago. People were afraid to even speak about it. Now, Hyten’s accuser is soundly discredited, her history brought to light in headline news. This is all a sign of fem-fatigue. I find some reason for real optimism here.
What the civilian world has been experiencing in the past few years, the military started experiencing about a decade and a half earlier. The madness started there, so when I see signs things are changing in the military, they will probably start changing in the civilian world too. About two years or so ago, there was a time limit (if memory serves, five years prior was the limit) on investigations into rape claims. Simply too many resources expended to investigate claims that were impossible to substantiate.
And so when women are in control of the social discourse, as they more or less are today, the discourse becomes utterly dominated by male-generated threats and the mitigation of those threats, while any actual male concerns are dismissed as irrelevant or insignificant in comparison — because from the perspective of most women, based on the way they are wired, that simply *is* how they experience the world.
This is a presupposition by women not only that men’s concerns should be dismissed as irrelevant or insignificant, but also that men should not have these concerns at all. Women are saying these concerns are not just irrelevant, they are illegitimate and have no place in public discourse or thought. Men’s concerns about #MeToo are wrongthink.
To women, men’s thinking about consent and sex as self preservation and avoidance of accusations of assault are not just ill-advised, they are evil, sinister, malicious, and malevolent.
W omen are concluding that men thinking about it this way is men saying that WE WOMEN are evil, sinister, malicious and malevolent. And with women’s predilection toward personalizing literally everything that’s said, individual women are concluding “well, he’s saying that I PERSONALLY am evil, sinister, malicious and malevolent.
It doesn’t occur to women until they get threatened with the end of a relationship (as in the case of my wife) that, um, hey, there’s a man here that’s one-half of this relationship, and um, you know, there are things he wants, needs, and desires from that relationship. One of the things that he wants, needs, and desires, is not getting accused of sexually assaulting someone, and gee, how can he go about conducting that relationship in such a manner as to avoid getting accused of assaulting someone.
There was a time when a woman’s reputation was everything.
They understood the consequences of a false accusation then.
It’s only since they have been granted default “teflon” status (regardless of behavior or history) that this has become lost with them.
Nova:
The last thing that occurs to me (and then I’ll shut up):
You brought up that women are in control of social discourse. I was reading some things you wrote here a while back that the direction on male-female relationships is one way only, and it’s in the direction of more female control, more male constraint, and more compression and pressure on men and their relationships, until there is some course correction at some undetermined point in the unforeseeable distant future, following the end of our lives and probably the end of our children’s lives. That this is going to go on for a long time, because it can, and because there is more than enough money, financial credit, and forced male goodwill to allow it for at least another couple of generations.
And you’ve also said, correctly, that most people in society today aren’t concerned with these things at all. It’s only a very small minority inside a minority of a minority of people who discuss gender relations issues from a “Red Pill” standpoint. To most, it’s only good and right that men should be further constrained and limited and sandbagged, because they’re all potential rapists anyway.
Women’s control and hegemony over society, money, the avenues of power, the politics, the social discourse, and the meanings of the words and phrases used in that social discourse, is near complete. Women (and their “allies”) control everything now. And that happened in literally the historical blink of an eye. Incredibly rapidly from a long arc of time standpoint. The only things that are really getting into public discourse are “marriage is a bad deal for men” and “AFBB”. Men know women are doing AFBB. And the response there is the same as for #MeToo:
“Men should not concern themselves over whether marriage is a bad deal for them. Men’s concerns over how marriage affects them are illegitimate, evil, and malicious. Men should be thinking about how they can be better husbands and fathers, not how marriage will benefit them. Men should be thinking about what they can do for marriage, not what marriage can do for them.”
“Any man who worries about what his wife did before she met him is a bitter small dicked loser who cant’ get laid. Anything his wife did before she met him is none of his business and he is evil, malevolent, criminal, sadistic, and a probable rapist for even thinking that it is or asking her about it.”
That’s the public discourse now. That’s what most men and most women think now about men’s concerns about marriage and sex.
Feminists are working furiously to cast men as out of control monsters whose presence is tolerated on Earth only because they are (regrettably) still necessary for the continuance of humanity. Or “persynanity,” to remove all trace of male related words (given that “person” contains “son.”)
It badly harms their narrative when men behave rationally and, without specifically intending to do so, give lie to one of their narratives, in this case that all men are mindless demon-monsters from Hell. This is partly why they are so enraged: men have problem solved (how dare they! Much better to emote and whine endlessly with no solution–like a woman!).
Problem solving is a complete surprise to feminists, who are 100% venomous emotion.
And now that men are figuring out how to counter the lying, dishonest #metoo, the feminists will have to create another narrative. Their lowlife father Satan will help as much as he can, but on Earth, a specific group only gets so many bites at Lucifer’s apple (pun intended) before people start ignoring you.
/They really can’t conceive that men are living, breathing, human beings, or understand why they wouldn’t want to be falsely accused/. I’ve noticed this with a VAST majority of women. I suppose it’s not in women’s interest of holding power to see men as human. I wonder if they’re only humbled in hard times?
> If like me you were confused by the term “women and femmes”, here is an explanation.
I’m still confused, haha! But at least now I have something to put me to sleep the next time I want a nap.
“It seems that screen writers forgot how to write female characters, and instead write male characters that just happen to have female genitalia.”
Screen writers also used to have to be the most talented creators in order to merit their jobs. That’s no longer the case. Many screenwriters now are women, affirmative actioned into place, whose whole life has been facilitated and overwhelmed by grrlpower/feminism. It’s no coincidence that that becomes the only narrative they are capable of writing. Thus they go to it EVERY time; every ad, every script, every tv series. These aren’t proven writers and they’re basically not even writers, so every character (borrowed from previous creators) is a bitch-face power girl while the men are dopes. Every time. It’s so stale.
@Novaseeker @ 8:54 am
Exactly and very well said. MeToo is a marker in the breakdown of modern male-female relations, but for the reasons you outlined in that post, it can’t and won’t reset those relations. We’ll just carry on with our respective understandings moderated by more global migration.
Someone above (redpill latecomer?) questioned a dynamic shift with continued immigration and Muslim influence. It might well be there, but I think some guys are way overestimating the power of those cultures to stop the advancing gynocracy. Women are women everywhere, and in my travels I have seen the same dynamics at play in traditional Islamic cultures as here. The main differences are that Muslims tend to congregate in Muslim-majority countries, and so help reinforce those values within their bubbles, and also that to date most Muslim countries have not experienced the sort of wealth (and therefore increase in female education) that is taken for granted in Western countries. When that comes, whether in 50 or 150 years, those places will be nearly as vulnerable to feminist groundswells as we have been.
The feminist dream can stay afloat for a long while, but, given discrepancies in birth rates, only with continual importation of people from traditional cultures at the bottom of the pyramid. When we run out of poor traditionalists to import, the game will get very interesting. We are advancing ourselves into oblivion.
“Consent is given at the free will of each participant and can be revoked at any point in time.”
Including long after the act. That is the entire point if the consent exercise – to give women an out if they feel guilty/slimy/slutty after having been a slut.
I would contend that Muslim countries are more feminist than ours is. Think about it: a small over class of high SMV men with horses of lesser men who then go out and conquer other cultures. I doubt anyone could construct a more perfect system for women’s base impulses.
Larry,
Most people are idiots and want to remain that way.
I remember several men in a past church telling me how wonderful Star Wars Ep 7 was, though that could have been 8. They are willfully ignorant, even those in churches.
Larry Kummer, Editor says:
August 8, 2019 at 7:02 am
Nick M.,
“Journalists, even leftists who have seen the pilot in avant-première, don’t praise it, because they can’t. They say it’s bland, boring…”
Just like Captain Marvel and the others. It’s a structural problem.
Male heroes are either conflicted or broken, which makes them interesting as they “soldier” on.
Women heroes are practically perfect in every way. Look at “Hobbs and Shaw.” The girl MI6 agent kicks ass as well as the guys, but is smarter, more tech-savvy (a hacker, of course), and more mature than the guys. She exercises mommy authority over them to stop their childish behavior.
She is also as dull as dishwater.
^ I remember an article here about how there would be female power in movies now, but they’d not advertise it as much as they would advertise the male power in the trailers, because they didn’t want to alienate their male customer base, like they did with Captain Marvel’s campain.
Anyway, it’s only thise week (the movie has been out for a time, now), that I bumped into a trailer where they displayed the strength of the midget womn you’re talking about, kicking men’s ass and all.
thedeti says:
August 8, 2019 at 9:31 am
[…]
Women’s control and hegemony over society, money, the avenues of power, the politics, the social discourse, and the meanings of the words and phrases used in that social discourse, is near complete. Women (and their “allies”) control everything now. And that happened in literally the historical blink of an eye. Incredibly rapidly from a long arc of time standpoint. The only things that are really getting into public discourse are “marriage is a bad deal for men” and “AFBB”. Men know women are doing AFBB. And the response there is the same as for #MeToo:
“Men should not concern themselves over whether marriage is a bad deal for them. Men’s concerns over how marriage affects them are illegitimate, evil, and malicious. Men should be thinking about how they can be better husbands and fathers, not how marriage will benefit them. Men should be thinking about what they can do for marriage, not what marriage can do for them.”
“Any man who worries about what his wife did before she met him is a bitter small dicked loser who cant’ get laid. Anything his wife did before she met him is none of his business and he is evil, malevolent, criminal, sadistic, and a probable rapist for even thinking that it is or asking her about it.”
That’s the public discourse now. That’s what most men and most women think now about men’s concerns about marriage and sex.
Absolutely well resumed! Absolutely on point, thedeti!
Any man who sees through women’s bullshit and calls them out on it is that man in society’s eyes.
I can’t tell how many times I had known that a woman, an acquaintance of mine, was only dating -and by dating I mean banging- guys with money. When she hit the wall, she became less demanding on physique, but still banged Doctors or nothing else. Even short Doctors.
When talking about those not so attractive but middle class men, she’d pretend “it just happened”, while I knew she targeted them.
We got in a beef over women being as strong as men, and I stopped totally being around her because of that attitude. I was called every name that you just mentioned before “can’t get laid”, etc.
Had I called her out for serial dating men for their money, I believe police would have been called on me.
#Metoo was always an overreach, but it didn’t dawn on the bulk of men until the Kavanaugh hearing. The publicity given to that hearing made the weapon of false accusation mainstream, in a Walter Kronkite / Vietnam War way. Now the bulk of men are aware that what was happening on College campuses to a few can now happen to anyone.
“I might get #Metoo’d” has become part of the vernacular all over the western world amongst men. Women can complain all they like how “the focus has been taken off them”, but that focus is gone and won’t be coming back as men – particularly young men who have seen their mother / aunts / sisters etc destroy the men in their lives – have learned the lesson.
As with economic trends, feminism is up with no end in sight until suddenly it turns on a dime. That supply of goodwill is going to evaporate as we can all see. We just don’t know which archduke it will take to trigger the powder keg.
Kavanaugh was a revelation to me. At the time I talked to a number of very smart people who understand politics, media, and culture and I thought of as fair-minded who considered the accusations credible. One actually referred to Kavanaugh as a rapist, and others on some level suspected he must be guilty of something given all the attention. One didn’t necessarily think he was guilty but felt he had been tainted and should be cast aside for a less controversial nominee (failing to recognize that building controversy around him, or anyone else they didn’t like, was the entire point).
It was so obviously a political hatchet job, and I was sure people could set aside their politics and see it for what it was. Even having long been red pilled, I couldn’t believe they couldn’t see it. I did not appreciate till then how bloodthirsty the left is (I know, I know) and how its power grabbing gets dressed up with only the thinnest pretense of morality.
It was so obviously a political hatchet job, and I was sure people could set aside their politics and see it for what it was. Even having long been red pilled, I couldn’t believe they couldn’t see it. I did not appreciate till then how bloodthirsty the left is (I know, I know) and how its power grabbing gets dressed up with only the thinnest pretense of morality.
Some of that has to do with what the Court itself has become. Essentially they are demi-gods in our political system — they get to override everyone and everything on a whim, if they have the votes to do so on the Court, and radically change social/cultural/political conditions with one stroke of the pen. They are essentially living oracles. They have far too much power in the system, and therefore when it comes to appointing one of them it’s truly a life and death battle — you’re appointing someone who has an authority on Earth, in this country at least, that’s akin to a demi-god. That’s why everyone loses their minds over Supreme Court appointments — the Court itself has created this issue by aggrandizing power for itself over the years, and so the result is the current spectacle of hatred and all out civil war every time a vacancy comes up. The stakes are just too high, given how much power they have.
Exactly Novaseeker. We do not live in a democracy (not that it was ever intended to be that), but we have 5 judges in black robes that get to decide the law of the land.
This system will break far worse than anyone can imagine now. It is already quite broken, but we are going on fumes, as the saying goes.
The primary objective of feminists is to subjugate men to serve the needs of women. Men should start requiring a contract before they’ll sleep with a woman. A contract that alleviates him from all responsibility and has a clause that the woman must call him either “Big Daddy” or “Master” during the act depending on his preference. No sign, no sex. Two can play the game.
Fear is THE tool of the left. Be they Communists, Feminists, Soviets, Chinese-Maoists, National Socialists, Marxists, Islamists…. it does not matter. The most basics of human nature will never change. There is no “new humans” as fantasized by Communists.
Humans only respond to incentives and fear. In Leftist ideologies, there are no incentives to excel and overcome since the govt takes whatever you produce, so they have to employ fear.
Fear of arrest for failing to pay child support. Fear of arrest and prison if a woman falsely accuses the man (of anything, rape, domestic violence, etc). Fear of losing everything for getting married. Fear of being doxxed and losing one’s job, home, livelihood. fear of being falsely accused at work by some female employee.
The now-banned Dc McAllister of the Federalist wrote THE best article on leftist fear regarding the MeToo hysteria and feminist, ever hands down.
https://thefederalist.com/2017/12/13/metoo-movement-destroying-trust-men-women/
To give you a taste of this brilliant piece of the topic:
“As has been plentifully documented, the general strategy of totalitarianism is to induce distrust among ordinary citizens, neighbors, and even among family members. Moreover, totalitarian regimes institute an arbitrary persecution and punishment of citizens, and leave them in a permanent state of uncertainty.
As this applies to men and women in an environment of suspicion, men never know when they will be presented at the court of injustice as a “sexual abuser.” Men will be guarded about every word, every action, and live in fear of a woman’s accusation. Communication is shut down or curbed. No one is real with one another. Harmless flirting is stifled. Relationships are broken, and there is no interest in becoming active in the lives of others. Love is eradicated and fear takes its place. Yet humans were not meant to live caged by fear. The Inducement of uncertainty, of distrust in communication and propagation of fear, all help to maintain the stability of the totalitarian regime.”
Simply brilliant!! 🙂 Please read, I promise it will be an eye-opener and one of the best pieces ever written on the MeToo hysteria, and connecting leftist totalitarianism to feminism. Best 5 minute read for the weekend.
Nova, the Courts, all of them, State and Federal, even local trial courts, have usurped an incredible amount of power not given to them by The Constitution. The reason we even had the Constitutional Convention take place was because the courts were abusing farmers, stealing people’s homes, and imprisoning people unfairly on behalf of the elites, the banks, and others. Even Revolutionary War veterans were being hurt, even though they went years without being paid. That is why Shay’s Rebellion. It was a populist revolt against judicial tyranny and lack of farmer payments. The Ye Olde English Common law courts were still operating as if American citizens were colonists under the rule of the British Monarchy.
When the Founders wrote the Constitution, they had envisioned a limited role for the judiciary. They did not want more Shay Rebellions out there because courts were abusing ordinary citizens. The Federalist Papers explained and promised we would not have judicial tyranny, which was a huge popular fear at the time.
Think about today. Some un-elected local federal District court judge puts a “nationwide injunction” on the President’s lawful power (like Travel Ban, wall building, etc)!!! They order the Borders open. They authorize abusive siezure of personal property without due process of law like the “Red Flag Laws” being proposed.
Just a few years back, when a local federal District judge issue an injunction, it was local thing, only valid in that district/jurisdiction. That is it. Now one un-elected local ObamaJudge will paralyze the entire nation and create serious national security threats, like opening up Border, releasing detained foreign terrorists, and preventing the Travel Ban from going into effect for almost a year until the Supremes court rule on it. It is asinine and insane.
The entire thing of judiciary becoming this almighty Branch comes from the early 20th century Progressives, mainly Woodrow Wilson, the most evil President in US history. The only way to reign the courts would be for Congress to step-up and put drastic limits on local court powers with specific legislation and break up the 9th Circuit, for instance. No Amendment is needed, since all Federal courts, except for the Supreme Court were created by Acts of Congress. Congress and the President can reign this all in.
The issue is our Congress has become highly dysfunctional, oligarchic, and corrupt. There are many Lindsay Grahamnesty’s there for deacdes, too many Crazy Nancy’s, too many Swampy McConnells, too many members of the crazy “Squad”, and too many Crying Chucks.
There are many 10 or 20 decent pro-American legislators in that whole building, like Mark Meadows, Jim Jordan, Chip Roy, Louie Gohmert, Josh Hawley, Ted Cruz, and such. The rest are all plutocrats and thieves.
Therefore, the hope to fix the Courts and stop this level of judicial abuse is very low, sadly.
@Red Pill Latecomer,
She did nothing wrong. It was simply post partum abortion.
American,
The courts would overturn that unfortunately. They want women to have control at this point.