You’ve read about what an alpha actually is, and you still know this is what you want. You’ve considered rolling your own alpha and even marrying a beta and then making him more alpha, but that just doesn’t have the same feel. I’m here to help, even if I wouldn’t advise the choice you want to make.
The good news is alphas are available if you are an attractive woman. You can choose from one of the following empowering options:
- Pump and dump
- Short Term Relationship
- Become a part of a PUA harem
- Have an affair with a married Alpha.
- Become one wife of several in a polygamous marriage.
- Marry an alpha.
Lets start with the glorious pump and dump. All you need to do is be on the lookout for the smoothest seeming guy in the world. Actually, just dress appropriately and he will find you. Don’t worry if he seems like the greatest guy in the world, who knows exactly how you are feeling and you have an amazing instant connection. You might be concerned when this happens thinking, wait a minute, all I want is a pump and dump and this guy seems like the man of my dreams. Not to worry. Your pump and dump is all but assured.
Now on to the short term relationship with an alpha. Actually your strategy should be the same as for a pump and dump, except you want to signal to him during the process that you are worth a relationship. Go ahead and act as if you would be the best girlfriend in the world. Most women err on the side of not signaling relationship potential enough to alphas, and get stuck in the pump and dump phase.
Becoming part of a PUA harem is easier than it sounds, which is good news for you! Your best shot at joining this elite club is to fall madly in love with the PUA. Aim for a LTR or even marriage in your mind (but don’t mention commitment). You will know you are part of a harem when you feel like you are in a long term relationship with the man of your dreams. Don’t worry about the lack of sign of other women. Remember, he’s an alpha so it is guaranteed that he will be getting some on the side. The more alpha he is, the better the chance is that you are part of a full fledged harem (which for strategic reasons you can’t see).
Having an affair with a married alpha is another great option. Often times you can fall into this by accident by merely following the advice above. If you want to jump-start the process, find a friend or coworker who is already having an affair with a married alpha and see if he can work you in.
Becoming a wife in a polygamous marriage is tougher in the US than the other options, simply because the law frowns upon this type of arrangement. Joining a less formal harem is probably a better bet. But if you really need absolute domination to find your tingle, you might consider emigrating to a country like Saudi Arabia. I’m told there are plenty of alphas there ready to fulfill your needs. As I understand it some areas of Utah can be a good place to find this kind of arrangement as well.
Marrying an alpha is the pinnacle of alpha chasing success. Instead of being “the other woman”, you could be the one with the satisfaction of knowing he is having exotic affairs while remaining married to you. This could be a point of pride for the whole family, your children included. Very few women ever make it to this level, although many try. For example, lets say you shoot for just a regular alpha, and not a lesser or super alpha. By definition, his lifetime partner count is going to be between 100 and 500. For simplicity’s sake, lets take the average of the two figures which comes out to 300 partners. Lets also assume that 1 in 5 of this level alpha actually marries. This would mean roughly 1,500 women sleep with alphas for every one woman who marries one. So chances are you will have to try lots of alphas before your number comes up. However, this brings up another problem. For an alpha (or greater beta for that matter) to see you as marriage worthy you will need to have a very low partner count. So with that said, your best bet is probably to be extremely beautiful and try to marry an older alpha while you are young and inexperienced. While the numbers are stacked against you, hopefully you can take solace at the other exciting and empowering ways to enjoy an alpha referenced in this post if your bid to marry an alpha turns unexpectedly into a pump and dump, harem participation, etc.
Now go out there and get your alpha, and report back on how it went!
Alphas: Any other suggestions?
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Most woman don’t think their decisions through when it comes to attraction. They just know they’re attracted to a guy or they’re not, it doesn’t have much to do with a conscious decision to go chase these guys.
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You’re appealing to the female brain in an ironic manner.
They see their attraction for men as a primal force, something they’re worth just for the fact of being female. It’s that Je Ne Sais Quoi.
Nice try, trying to point it out to them.
This is a great post and made me chuckle.
But hey, I think this should be Player or PUA, you’re being unfair to millions of alphas in the world who aren’t like this. Or are they considered beta if they are able to have sex with many women but choose not to?
Lily,
You have a point–but most of the Alphas that aren’t like this are older alphas, from the Baby Boomer generation and older, (mostly older) because they married before the feminist revolution, which gave birth to the PUA/player movement. Old Alphas in marriage 1.0 don’t need to be PUAS, don’t need game as much, their wives are already submissive and easily kept in line as long as infidelity is kept more or less under wraps and in control.
I delight in the fact that feminism’s bastard child is Game. And I think Chateau’s distinction works well here: Alphas are men that women want to fuck. Players are those who give them what they want.
I know plenty of married alphas in their 30s, 40s and 50s like this. I wouldn’t describe any of their wives as submissive, but certainly they are not nagging harpy types. The majority of these guys had some sort of ‘sowing their wild oats’ phase in their twenties.
I find the description of PUA as feminism’s bastard child quite intriguing. I’m not convinced on it, there’s plenty of sex happening amongst people who don’t have any idea of PUA techniques. I see this all around me.
As an example, I have three male friends in their thirties who have recently become single. None of them know anything about game though know I have been reading up on it (and are worried with some of the things I’ve been filling my head with lol)
One who is in his late thirties had a lot of women before getting married (and was faithful until the last year or so after his marriage broke down – his wife turned into a harpie). I suposse he’d be considered a natural alpha in PUA circles as he’s always been able to have a lot of sex (and threesomes etc, this was 10-15 years ago and he’s back to that). I’d describe him a beta in status though. Naturally quite good looking (but not very, let’s say a 7-8) so always been fairly confident and charismatic as a result.
The other two are early thirties, definitely betas all around, both in status and looks (let’s say 5-6). example job teacher. Neither particularly charismatic. Both are having so much sex it’s ridiculous. E.g. one (who thinking about it more is bordering on omega territory) has been on match.com 3 weeks, met 5 women, had sex with 3.
As well as sex with another woman he knows in a different way.
Lily–
Absolutely not. Roissy’s definition of alpha is that he could have that many lifetime bangs with hot girls if he put his mind to it. (Not banging lower than 7s or at least 6s shouldn’t count.) Most natural alphas, which is what the vast majority of alphas are, don’t spend their whole lives obsessed with number counts. Though most solid alphas do enjoy easily pulling and banging hot girls that they happen to meet from time to time. Some are real picky and not that into quantity and so won’t casually bang many below 8’s and 9s. The greedy ones go down to 7s and even 6s when the girls are otherwise fun or intriguing and throw themselves at said alphas.
Note it also matters how hot the hottest girl he’s ever banged (without paying for it) was. Really I think that’s the best guide for who is and isn’t an alpha or lesser alpha. I think that one’s less flexible. He’s not a solid alpha if he’s never banged a 9, period, end of story. It’s by no means clear he’s really solid alpha if he hasn’t banged a few. If his own number count isn’t tiny and he hasn’t banged a few 9s, he’s not a solid alpha.
Don’t try to tell me Lily that EVERY man on planet earth doesn’t want to at least bang a 9. What the hell do you think mens’ mags and porn are about (not that ll or even most porn actresses are 9s, but some are.) Note this doesn’t mean he has to have married a 9. He might have married a 7. Other qualities matter huge for the marriage choice. As well a 7 is a lot more likely to let him cheat, hopefully with at least her tacit permission, than a 9 is, in the feminist current culture and divorce 2.0 laws of the Anglosphere. Both copied from America unfortunately.
He might be a lesser alpha. But then he’d have to have banged at least an 8, and really quite a few 8s or he was a greater beta that got lucky.
I think most of the guys you describe as alpha are probably lesser alphas with a few high end higher betas thrown in too. But maybe not. You tell me, with my refinements to the alpha scale of male sexual attractiveness above in your mind.
Note as well that girls also care about a lot of other things beyond sexual attractiveness in a LTR or husband. Loyalty (which for most means strict monogamy but always means emotional loyalty), status, money, loving nature, and being companionable, someone good to partner with. There are things on the mate/dad scale, 1 to 10. Alphas can score very low on this scale. Or they can score high here too. In which case they’re ultra premo attractive to women for marriage.
@Doug
“Don’t try to tell me Lily that EVERY man on planet earth doesn’t want to at least bang a 9”
LOL, where did that come from? Why would I say that?
My point to (R)Evolutionary was that alphas who aren’t as described in dalrock’s post aren’t restricted to Baby Boomer or previous generations.
As you say the vast majority of alphas are natural alphas. They’ve spent most of their adult life with options, yes including taking up ‘banging’ what a quaint phrase, 9s). In fact after the liberalisation of sex, they would have had more of a chance to sow their wild oats before marriage, and know what they were getting into when they get married (rather than in times gone past where even if the most alpha guys got more pre martial action that others, marriages were entered into earlier, partly for regular sex).
Re alpha/beta – the guys I mentioned above I’d consider all beta. The first one ‘bangs’ 8s and 9s on a regular basis. Out of the other 2, one of them has managed it with at least one 8 (he shows me the pictures on match.com). Doesn’t change my definition of them though, I don’t judge someone by whom he has sex with.
Lily–
Then Lily, charming and fun as you often are, your terminology is whacked. They’re definitionally alphas if they can shag 9s as more than a one off, and shag lots of 8s. Period end of story. Regardless of English class muddles and the rest of it.
btw Lily I wasn’t implying that you HAD told me that every man doesn’t want to at least bang a 9, I was trying to get you to focus hard on why being able to bang 9s as more than a one off fluke of good fortune is the best measurement of alphas. That’s the true test. Not the number of any kind of girl or even hot girls (7s and up) a guy has shagged. The really high numbers there only come from obsessing on that. Which becomes a kind of addiction.
Lily–
To say it to you another way, there are plenty of working class alphas, including among the lower reaches of the working class. Just because you’d never be attracted to some or any of them doesn’t mean they aren’t alpha to different kinds of girls, including some really hot ones (8s and 9s).
Lily–
We really should talk about status in two different ways. One is overall social status. Call that societal status. The other is small group status. I.e. charisma and leadership. The guy that people will automatically look to in an emergency if no one’s been specially trained to deal with the issue at hand. The guy that people gravitate to, men and women, in small groups.
Men can be upper class in England without doing much gina tingling of girls. Now I grant you their overall status helps get at least some gina tingling in some girls esp. in such an openly class obsessed society as England. Bill Gates is undoubtedly upper class in America and for that matter on the world stage. But he’s no big time gina tingler.
Small group status belongs at the top of the alpha (towards women) scale where Roissy puts it, just ahead of game (playful dominance over women). Societal status is important and at the top of the mate/dad scale of desireability of men in LTR’s.
When you’ve got both and game as well it’s wowie zowie for girls. High on both the alpha gina tingling scale and the mate/dad, proud to be seen with him, scale.
“The guy that people will automatically look to in an emergency if no one’s been specially trained to deal with the issue at hand. The guy that people gravitate to, men and women, in small groups.”
Yes to me, this is a key alpha trait.
Most upper middle class/upper class men I know are betas. I think Nick Clegg is a good well-known example of a beta (though admittedly higher beta).*
And yes agreed that there are plenty of working class guys who are alpha.
*I think beta or not, he could make my gina tingle. I met him once and he was really charming and funny. Good job there was no tequila around 🙂
” This would mean roughly 1,500 women sleep with alphas for every one woman who marries one. So chances are you will have to try lots of alphas before your number comes up.”
Not lots, just 5. And 5 is an extremely low partner count for a Woman, so the alpha should be pleased with that as well.
There, we killed 2 birds with 1 one stone.
I think you should recheck your math.
And 5 is above the median of 3.8 per CDC, so it really isn’t low at all.
I calculated according to your estimations of 300 women per alpha. 5 x 300 is 1,500.
A reminder of what you wrote:
“Very few women ever make it to this level, although many try. For example, lets say you shoot for just a regular alpha, and not a lesser or super alpha. By definition, his lifetime partner count is going to be between 100 and 500. For simplicity’s sake, lets take the average of the two figures which comes out to 300 partners. Lets also assume that 1 in 5 of this level alpha actually marries. This would mean roughly 1,500 women sleep with alphas for every one woman who marries one. So chances are you will have to try lots of alphas before your number comes up. ”
A 5 partner count for a post-modern American woman in the new millenium is incredibly low.
Check out some of the high school hook up stats. You don’t even wanna know about college!
(plus women tend to lie about their numbers DOWN, while men lie about their’s UP. 3.8 to me means 7.8 if they are talking about women and 1.2 if they are talking about men – LOL!)
My grandma managed to pull off #6. Despite grandpa’s affairs, I think she was happy with her decision.
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I’m pretty sure that median is nonsense. I see it all the time and I hardly know of any woman with a count that low, and no, I’m not hanging out with prostitutes or particularly slutty women. Not that I’m defending a higher count particularly, just that I find that statistic difficult to believe.
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I think th emedian of 5 is accurate; it just reflects that women either have many low numbers or extremely high ones.
As far a definition of alpha, I have to agree with Doug. An alpha is defined by the best looking girl he’s had sex with.
Also Lily, I am skeptical your friend is sleeping with 9s being that I doubt 9s are going to be creating profiles on match.com. Your perceptions may be a little skewed on this because you are a woman.
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Urg. My grandpa was definitely an alpha. Grandma was clearly a 9 or 10 on attractiveness (she modeled, danced, and was scouted by Hollywood. She would have gone if she hadn’t gotten stuck taking care of her siblings. I was in awe when I saw of photo of her in her 20s. She gave a new meaning to stunning). She said that she didn’t think he slept around (or, more accurately, she said that mistresses expect expensive gifts, and he was too stingy for that). Regardless, their marriage was very unhappy because he was emotionally abusive. She has a lot of inner strength, but to be constantly belittled by the man she loved? He died in his 60s though, and grandma’s getting towards 90. Sadly, she’s been happier as a widow than she was in marriage. Although she’s had offers of marriage since then, I think she’s decided to be done with it. I mean, she’s not completely happy being alone, but her marriage was not a good experience.
I honestly haven’t heard of a happy marriage involving an alpha, or even a mild alpha like my dad. They don’t always cheat (though they’d have lots of success if they tried), but they aren’t considerate enough to be good roommates, and far too selfish to be good fathers…
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