The Other McCain has a post up about a woman (Julia Baugher) whose profession is giving life advice, even though her own life is an absolute train-wreck. The post titled Fame Whore Update: Relationship Expert Fails and Good-Bye, ‘Reasonable’ Man is worth reading for entertainment value alone. As one of McCain’s reader’s puts it, Baugher is:
The Comstock Load of feminist crazy!
One thing that struck me as I was reading his post is how often women who have failed miserably at finding a husband set themselves up as experts teaching other women how to find husbands. This isn’t just the case for witchcraft practicing feminists like Baugher, but for conservative Christian feminists as well. In the past I’ve written about never married Mandy Hale (age 39) and never married Wendy Griffith (age 54) teaching Christian women how to find a husband. The other day commenter JRob brought Lisa Anderson of Focus On The Family to my attention as well.
Like Hale and Griffith, Anderson (age 46*) has never married. From the stats I shared the other day this makes Anderson an extreme outlier even in our feminist era; only 8.6% of 45 year old White women in the U.S. have never married! But Anderson doesn’t allow her failure to do what nearly all women her age have done discourage her from giving other women advice on how to do what she has failed at. In 2015 Anderson published The Dating Manifesto: A Drama-Free Plan for Pursuing Marriage with Purpose. Focus On The Family also saw fit to make Anderson their Director of Young Adults and Host of The Boundless Show:
Lisa Anderson is director of young adults for Focus on the Family, the world’s leading Christian organization dedicated to helping families thrive. She manages Boundless, Focus’ ministry for young adults, with the goal of helping 20- and 30-somethings grow up, own their faith, date with purpose and prepare for marriage and family.
From what I have found, Anderson’s advice is not as bad as the advice of Wendy Griffith. Much of it is stock churchian platitudes like dating with intention and teaching a modern Christian adaptation of chivalry/courtly love. At times Anderson gets tantalizingly close to offering clear insight about how her own feminism led to her being 46 and single. When asked what she would say to her 28 year old self, Anderson replied (emphasis mine):
I’d say, “Dating takes effort for both men and women.” Dating was hardly on my radar in my 20s. I was too busy chasing a career and thinking I was too awesome to need a man. I didn’t make the effort to get to know men. I don’t remember ever saying I wanted to be married. I turned dates down because I found some miniscule flaw in the guys in question. And then I wondered why I was still single at 30. God puts people in our path for a reason. Many of them are probably good marriage candidates. But when we give all our attention elsewhere, we cheat ourselves out of a healthy pursuit of what is for most of us a God-given life goal. Marriage is a good thing, and biblical, intentional dating is a great way to get there. But it takes work. And that work should start earlier rather than later. Learn from my mistakes on that one, folks.
But when asked in the same article why men are “intimidated” by strong confident women like herself, Anderson answered that men who aren’t attracted to women like her need to stop being so insecure:
3. On The Boundless Show, in your writing, and in person, you come across as incredibly confident. What advice do you have for men who are intimidated by confident women?
There are really only two reasons I’m confident: My salvation is secure, and I know I’m loved. The good news is both of these assurances are available to everyone, so it levels the playing field. Any other reason I appear confident is just personality and other lesser stuff. Our negative reactions toward others are usually a reflection of our own insecurities, so men who are “intimidated” by confident women need to examine why that is so. Dating the helpless and needy Damsel in Distress is appealing for only so long; she may initially make you feel strong and important, but eventually you’ll just feel smothered and used. Become secure in who you are, and you’ll be attracted to (and will attract) women who are also healthy and secure. That said, a word for the ladies: Being confident doesn’t mean being a rude, brash, belittling femi-Nazi. Nor does it mean taking everything on yourself and acting like you rule the world. Show that you need men, that men have value, and you’ll prove yourself inviting and attractive.
Likewise, in dating with intention Anderson complains that married women tell her she isn’t trying hard enough to find a husband:
Another area that exhausts me is when people assume that if I’m not husband-hunting 24/7, I’m not “trying hard enough.” If I join a women’s Bible study, it’s “why don’t you find a co-ed study?” If I go on a trip with my girlfriends, it’s “don’t you all hang out together a little too much?” Constantly having my motives and efforts questioned makes me feel like I’m not valued for who I am and how I’m currently living my life. Yes, I’m certainly open to marriage, but I’m also maximizing my singleness right now, so let me live my life boldly and with purpose while trusting God for the rest!
The criticism about her hanging out too much with her girlfriends and not leaving room for a husband sounds like it is on target. In Single, But Not Alone Anderson explains that she is in a season of making a commitment to her girlfriend in the form of building their dream home (emphasis mine):
And now I’m in a new season. A season that’s calling me to even deeper commitment.
As of one month ago, another close friend, Julianna, and I decided to buy a house together. Actually, we’re building it together.
…This buy/build/move idea was Julianna’s idea first. I had to be convinced of it. But now I’m on board. First of all, it’s financially wise (we’re going to rent out our current homes as investments). But bigger than that, God’s been teaching me that maybe for this season in my life, there’s something silly about rattling around in a home that I alone have to finance, repair, insure, furnish and protect (hello expensive security system).
Strip out the “season of singleness” nonsense and this isn’t necessarily a bad plan. As she hints at in the beginning of the article retirement age isn’t that far off, and as she notes this will also allow her to care for her aging mother. Her father has passed away, so if as a 46 year old career woman she is recognizing reality and effectively ruling out marriage it makes perfect sense. We don’t use the word spinster any more, but if we did, Anderson and her committed-roommate would be textbook examples. The problem is that she is not recognizing reality, and (even worse) is positioning herself as an expert on how young people should go about finding marriage.
*Per this article she was 43 in July of 2015.
The only example in the Bible of a woman who was looking to find a husband is Ruth. She went waaaaaaay out of her way to find an eligible man and get to know him. At her previous mother-in-laws wise counsel, otherwise she wouldn’t have done some of that herself.
It’s funny, though, that the Bible has direct verses on roles and responsibilities in marriage. Yet no single young men or women are making those a priority to know and learn how to do prior to marriage. And you wonder why singles aren’t getting married. What man wants to be together with a woman who doesn’t know how to respect and submit to her potential husband?
That and women today want men to continually pursue them and ignore advice like going to co-ed groups.
All I can say to that is “good luck.”
Well, Seen her past, her probably still unrealistic expectations, building a home with her best female friend for their old age sounds like a very informed idea to me.
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As of one month ago, another close friend, Julianna, and I decided to buy a house together. Actually, we’re building it together.
All I’ll say about this is that if a Christian man did this same thing with a male friend, it would raise all sorts of red flags and suspicions.
2 trite comments:
Lode.
Is she closeted?
On a serious note, traditional roles are transmitted from parents. If not a SAHM, then what does a daughter see? She does not see the dating, she sees the woman working outside the home.
Same with a son. Life has to be intentionally lived now. In the past most people got their life instructions handed to them. Not so for many people today. It’s absolutely vital for you to tell your children (if the reader has any) not only what they should not be, but what they should be. And be realistic. A child will not have the opportunity to “be anything they want to be”. Steer them the way they should go, with what suits their temperament, talent, etc.
Protip: Don’t send daughters to college.
The problem is that she is not recognizing reality, and (even worse) is positioning herself as an expert on how young people should go about finding marriage.
Well said. You continually do a great job of isolating the real issue, instead of confusing it with all of the various activities.
Some of her advice is pretty sound, so let’s hope that’s what gets heard by the young people who listen to her.
There’s a sound doctrine of marriage in our Bible ..
And yet instead of exorting it as the leading expert .. we turn to wimminz whom have zero success or experience on the subject.
Yeah .. itching ears fo sho yo .. it is so easy to spot those with itching ears .. they read this drivel instead of our Holy Bible for guidance ..
These whores have one thing in common .. they rode the pony (aka CC) to the scene of the crash.
My, now divorced, sister in law once gave my wife a printed article from “Focus on the Family”.
It was filled with angry Feminist heresy and seemed to be pushing the Duluth model where everything a man says or does is “abuse”.
Even prior to becoming Red Pilled, I told my wife it was pure crap, and it sounded like it was written by an angry man-hating divorcee.
I’ve lost my respect for Dobson and his home-wrecking Duluth model pushers. I wish he’d stop associating his Feminazi psychobabble with Christianity, as it grows steadily more and more ungodly.
Women want men to pursue them just to satisfy their egos. A spinster giving advice on finding a husband is a non racing driver giving Mario Andretti driving tips.
Should have read like a non race car driver giving Mario Andretti driving tips.
I’ve lost my respect for Dobson and his home-wrecking Duluth model pushers. I wish he’d stop associating his Feminazi psychobabble with Christianity
Dobson got run out of FotF some years back. So this isn’t his.
However, listening to some of the old shows, reading some of his books, he was making nice with the feminists who were just itching to stab him in the back and take control.
Jeremiah 17:9 “The heart is deceitful above all things,
And [a]desperately wicked;
Who can know it?”
funny how a woman can “build a house” without ever touching a saw,hammer,or nail.
as to the men that are actually building the house,they are so invisible and of lesser status it’s not uncommon for the homeowner to deny them the use of the very bathrooms they build.
“Yeah we built this house,we picked out all the wallpaper and furniture and made mad lesbian love in the foyer the first night it was done.”
“Those brute carpenters sure made a mess of things while they where here.”
I know one old carpenter took a dump in the drinking fountain after he was denied use of the bathroom.
Another one mixed his feces in with the drywall mud,that place smelled of shit forever,it was literally coming out of the walls.
Note to the “builders,” It’s a good idea to allow the tradesMEN the use of the facilities.
That’s a riot – old maids ‘splaining how to find a husband. Now here’s a couple who could teach a PhD course on finding a spouse – wife gives her husband 14 sons. WOW – what a blessing on this couple.
https://www.10tv.com/article/its-another-boy-michigan-family-13-sons-gets-no-14
I posted this a lil while ago ..
Seems like a good place fornit .. wimminz advising other wimminz and all ..
As if we needed a study proving the exsistance of th wimminz catchin’ “the divorce flu” ..
https://philadelphia.cbslocal.com/2018/09/09/study-divorce-may-be-contagious/
DUH HUH!
I made it about 8 minutes on Li$A’s day 2 interview on Rainey’s radio show. Platitudes and churchiobuzzspeak, as our host noted, comprise her M.O.
Day 2 she showed a bit of bitterness here and there if you *truly hear* her. And, she mocked a man she dated who became a professional clown.
More of the same, wrapped in a package meant to lull.
Carnivore ..
Thanks for posting that, heartwarming, story.
Anderson’s comment about men being intimidated by confident women is way off the mark. Some men sure, but the vast majority of men I know find self-confident women a waste of energy. Men want co-operation and submission from women, not solipsistic badgering over every little thing. Making a choice between sensibility and stupidity is not intimidation.
Men are put off by self-confidence in women for the same reason they don’t snuggle up with their buddies. It’s the submissiveness and pliancy of women that men need in a world that seeks mostly to dominate and control them. Self-confidence in women is no relief from that, it’s just more of the same. Why seek it when it’s there all around? Self-confidence in women is repulsive, not intimidating.
The power given to women however can be intimidating. The self-confidence Anderson is preening for her audience is not self-confidence at all but the false sense of accomplishment and power given to women by the gynocentric state. It comes with loads of concessions and threatpoints (like the divorce threatpoint) and all the sexual harrassment hysteria and feminist power-mongering of the last fifty years that is now encoded in law (which is essentially the threat of being shot in the head by police if a man resists). This is not self-confidence, it’s the power of the Orwellian pig. Men are intimidated by the violence-by-proxy that women mistake as self-confidence, not the women themselves.
Strip that away, as it hopefully would be in a godly marriage, and I’ll bet Anderson is just a spoilt little girl in need of a spanking. And I’m willing to bet that she not only knows it, but craves it and is saying these things to dare Christian Gray to give her her very own post-wall Fifty Shades moment. There’s evil in drawing other women down this destructive path. It’s the serpent whispering in her ear, the wily little worm never stops.
What really stands out is that Lisa, Wendy, and Mandy are all attractive for their respective ages, and undoubtedly were quite pretty in their mid-20s. This makes each of their failures to secure a husband even more poignant, as the very small fraction of (white) women who never marry are likely concentrated among the obese and irresponsible single moms.
Lisa’s quote to her 28-year old self is mildly encouraging, but it’s a shame that today’s 20-something women are being told the exact opposite by feminist society.
“God puts people in our path for a reason”
Makes me think she never heard the joke about the town flooding and the pastor who is in his home first one row boat comes by
“Can we give you a lift?”
“No” the pastor says “God will provide.”
Now for his second story window another rowboat.
“You really should come with us”
And again the pastor says, “No God will provide.”
Finally up on his roof a helicopter comes by. “You must come with us”
And still he answers “no God will provide”
He drowns. Up in Heaven he says to God “why didn’t you save me?”
“What? I sent two rowboats and a helicopter?!?!?”
The problem is that she is not recognizing reality, and (even worse) is positioning herself as an expert on how young people should go about finding marriage.
This may come as a shock, but all three of these highlighted church ladies seem to harbor the notion that their singleness (and possibly all church lady singleness) just may be men’s fault. I read through some material on them for about six minutes in total to see where they share a common idea. Depending on how long you’ve been reading in the men’s sphere, you will recognize these as either covert or overt admissions of how they really see things.
Quote from an interview with Lisa:
Proverbs 18:22 says “he who finds a wife finds what is good and finds favor with the Lord”, not “he who sits at home in his parents’ basement playing Xbox all day”.
Quote from an interview with Wendy:
I can only talk about my world, but I feel that one way it is affecting the church is that there just aren’t that many men there. The women are there, but where are the men? My single girlfriends and I are all there.
I’ve never been married and I’m in my 40’s. There are a lot of families present, but it seems like the men come only after they’re married. The few guys that are there usually aren’t the “manly” men that I know I’m looking for. I think there is a lack of “real” men in the church.
Quote(s) from Mandy:
I couldn’t pick just one. Skim these yourself and see what kind of reaction they elicit. I’m no doctor but I do wonder if I’m reading from a schizophreniac’s diary.
https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/5623882.Mandy_Hale?page=1
Where there’s smoke….
https://www.henrymakow.com/001573.html
Listen if you dare:
http://familylifetoday.com/program/why-are-you-single/
Day 1:
http://familylifetoday.com/program/inching-toward-marriage/
@Carnivore
Wow, that Michigan couple has really won at the game of life. Let’s not forget, the future belongs to those who have children, not the “progressive” DINKs or alpha-widowed cat ladies.
And yet St. Paul…who I think we can agree would have more merit than her about a secure salvation…was never confident of this.
https://biblehub.com/1_corinthians/4-4.htm
I’m not quite sure she was even implying about how the Lord is involved with her statements.
Example #234548543892528452954352974523 of how women don’t get cause and effect.
She made the willing decision to not be married and be single…which is fine. But the fact she states she’s open to marriage seems like a statement she says to keep her married friends from hounding her. I’d have more respect if she just said she chose to be unmarried.
Quick questions: Are any of these three never-marrieds virgins? If not, have they at least been living celibate the last decade or so? If any man were actually to wife one of them up, are any of them able to bear so much as a single child for him? Unfruitful branches will be cast out and burned.
@ Badman “Let’s not forget, the future belongs to those who have children”
Reminds me of an article I cut out of a Catholic paper some decades ago; can’t find it at the moment, so these aren’t exact quotes or exact numbers. It quoted an article out of the New York Times or some such newspaper by some feminist who said “As a liberated woman, I’m the future.”. It then quoted a letter to the editor sent in by an Orthodox Jewess who commented on the feminist’s article. She said “What future? She (the feminist author) doesn’t have any children. I am the future. I have 12 children and 30 grandchildren and 5 great-grand children. Within a few generations, my legacy will be 100’s of people. I’m the future.”
The cynic in me wants to know the over / under on when Julie will admit she’s a lesbian…
Good analysis Lost Patrol.
If any man were actually to wife one of them up, are any of them able to bear so much as a single child for him? Unfruitful branches will be cast out and burned.
But they were trying to be evangelists for God. As Badboy Chad was boning them they were screaming out; Oh Jesus! Oh Jesus!
Don’t you see the purpose behind their “missionary dating”?
Are any of these three never-marrieds virgins
Li$a certainly is./sarc Why, she said during show #2 (paraphrased) “…there’s a generation of men who can’t relate to women at all,” and as regards Josh Harris’ book “…Men are sitting on their hands.”
It’s not self-confidence that men dislike. It’s the obnoxious, know-it-all, bossyness that women insecurely confuse with “self confidence”.
Here is more of the serpent’s whispering, on a “Christian” web site
https://www.crosswalk.com/family/marriage/what-we-get-wrong-about-women-submitting-to-their-husbands.html
Yes…although the only time they call it ‘arrogance’ is when a man they don’t tingle for anymore does it.
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Am I the only one who finds solace and relief in the spectacular strike outs of Julia, Mandy, Wendy and Lisa at the marital plate.
Do you understand what their failures mean?
Somewhere out there exist four fortunate men (and perhaps more) who have all been spared a life of almost certain marital misery, sexlessness and divorce?
Rest assured the never married data reveals there are legions of ladies who will continue swinging for the fences between 28 and 45.
The cynic in me wants to know the over / under on when Julie will admit she’s a lesbian…
Reminds me of this article on Vox Day’s old blog from a few years back. The last line is the most memorable.
https://alphagameplan.blogspot.com/2015/08/not-born-that-way.html?m=1
I think it’s simpler than that. Masculine men are attracted to feminine women. A feminine woman is comfortable being a woman, which means she is comfortable with her God-given role as helper (not leader or equal partner) to husband. Just as women have built-in radar to detect masculinity (ability to lead, provide & protect), men have built-in radar to detect femininity.
The three women Dalrock mentions are all relatively good-looking, but beauty is only one aspect of femininity, and you can be certain that all the men that have rejected them were wise to do so.
If these women were honest with themselves…they’d admit they were never pursuing marriage to begin with.
But hey they’ll certainly give advice on how to get married.
No, you’re not the only one. It is a comfort (and solace and relief) to re-confirm what I already know: obeying God brings joy, and disobeying God brings pain and sorrow.
Certainly not. At least 4 men (probably more) were saved because of the choices these women made. If they want to go WGTOW, by all means, go for it. But preach that, not missing out on marriage.
Beauty might cover up their dysfunction initially but it can’t overcome it.
And don’t be quick to assume it was the men rejecting them…I don’t doubt there could have been, but I’d bet you there was plenty of them rejecting men…potentially men who could have been good husbands…because they just weren’t honest that they never really wanted to be married.
Earl, I assumed both — the women rejected some men, and were rejected by some men. I only chose to comment about why men rejected them, in response to AR’s comment.
There are three types of people I knew never to piss off…those that handle your food, your barber, and your mechanic. I will now add carpenters to the list.
Just as women have built-in radar to detect masculinity (ability to lead, provide & protect), men have built-in radar to detect femininity.
Men’s femininity detection radars generally have blank screens these days. Lots of waves transmitted, but very few of them striking anything solid to send a return signal.
@earl
”Beauty might cover up their dysfunction initially but it can’t overcome it. ”
Unlike women with a beautiful character that manages to be beautiful even as they age. wicked women age like milk and much more quickly turn into haglike beings.
Amen! Preach it, brother! Have faith my friends. God has stepped in and saved many a brother from the nightmare of modern marriage to these crazy broads! Praise his name, sing it and be grateful you are one of the fortunate ones!
The 4 horsewomen of the maritalpocalypse always have this last ditch option to convince everyone (herself) they are not spinsters.
https://www.yahoo.com/news/jilted-bride-marries-dream-wedding-amazing-know-092355843.html?soc_src=community&soc_trk=tw
‘Jilted bride marries herself in dream wedding: ‘I am amazing, and I know it’
There are three types of people I knew never to piss off…those that handle your food, your barber, and your mechanic. I will now add carpenters to the list.
Plumbers, electricians, gas guy–Any tradesman, basically.
/My townhouse is over 100 years old in a formerly industrial, now rapidly gentrifying neighborhood (We’re getting Whole Foods next spring, i think. Renovated in the ’90s, but in the ’30s, they would dig basements to give you indoor plumbing. So you would have one toilet in this 12×25 open-air room. No sink, that was in the next room. Just the toilet.
When I first bought, everybody got excited and had to use it as much as possible. Which was fine, but the main reason I had contractors in was to fix and replace this deck on the roof… (they added a couple of other bathrooms in the ’90s that might have been closer.)
A new essay from W. Bradford Wilcox has been published:
“Too Much Netflix, Not Enough Chill: Why Young Americans Are Having Less Sex”
Source: https://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2018/02/08/why-young-americans-having-less-sex-216953
The writings of this author has been subject of discussion @dalrock ‘s place in the past.
Julia’s high, high, high, HIGH N count is enough to doom a marriage.
She has a second huge minefield, 20 years of drama and multiple breakups that have left both her physical body and her emotions conditioned to riding the roller coaster of endorphins/hormones/feelings. At this point it would be very, very, HARD for her to be content and calm long enough to maintain a long term, stable marriage.
She says her parents marriage was too boring:
“I had created an idea of what marriage should be based on my parents involving the suburbs, monogamy and daily routines I’m not interested in.”
freebird
“funny how a woman can “build a house” without ever touching a saw,hammer,or nail.”
Honestly. It was galling to read that. If you’re not doing the building, the least you can do is say something like “we’re getting a house built” or “we’re paying to build a house”. There is a big difference between paying for the building and actually building. If you are merely paying, the least you can do is use a few more words to make things clear.
Of course I take it back if Lisa and her gf are actually building their house.
What would you tell your 28 yo self? She should tell her 28 year old self to tell her 18 year old self to start thinking about marriage.
Its odd that single women feel called to help people get married. There are probably lots of funny examples of failures giving guidance to others but that one seems consistent with the age.
I also hate how some people celebrate everything they do as if it is a big revelation. So…you are buying a house with a friend. Cool. I once bought a house but I didn’t need to call it a huge life decision and the next big phase of my life. It could just be the modern woman self-absorption or maybe that is how “personalities” who are famous in certain circles need to write to keep their followers engaged but it sure is exhausting.
I used to listen to Boundless years ago when I was just started to unbluepill. It gets a bit worse.
I can’t find the episode but Lisa had older unmarried female guests on and they want tried to rate themselves 1-10 “without cheating”.
Predictably they all rated themselves 6-7. Lisa as unmarried 40+ year old rated herself as a 7. They basically had no understanding on how their age would impact their score and since their personality is “awesome” (of course) then they should be above average.
They really think that men would be indifferent between them and a 21 year old 6 or 7. I’m sure this had no impact on them discounting all men that aren’t 6 or 7.
Interesting verse I read this morning:
In that day so few men will be left that seven women will fight for each man, saying, “Let us all marry you! We will provide our own food and clothing. Only let us take your name so we won’t be mocked as old maids. – Isaiah 4:1 NLT
What would you tell your 28 yo self? She should tell her 28 year old self to tell her 18 year old self to start thinking about marriage.
In the early minutes of show #2, she says, “I blame my twenties on myself, my thirties on men, and my forties on God.”
Perhaps this was meant to be tongue in cheek. Given her entire body of work, I doubt it.
@Sharkly
When I first came to visit CO years ago in future planning for attending law school there, we were driving down to Colorado Springs and doing some tourism. CO Springs is where Focus on The Family is located at. My wife was all excited about it, as we both THOUGHT (incorrectly) that they were a “Conservative Christian group”.
My opinion changed within minutes of visiting the place. It was closed doors and closed buildings everywhere. I wondered while there “why do they need such a large campus? Why so many offices for this group? Is this where they spend donations and proceedings from books they sell?” 😡
The only places you could visit was the front entrance sign with flowers, the small “art museum”, and the bookstore. ALL BUILDINGS at Focus Family had large signs on entrance, stating “No guns allowed in property” (and a big forbidden sign crossing off a handgun). 😮
Mind you, CO is a concealed carry State and it is lawful to conceal carry, except when leftist businesses put such a sign on front door. This was a direct attack on the 2nd Amendment and the freedoms it protects (including free speech and freedom of religion). I was stunned and angry. I wanted to leave right away, but wife said she wanted to see if they had postcards for Garden of gods park nearby.
Wait, wasn’t Focus on Family supposed to be Republican/Conservative group?!?! 🙄 Hah!
Never again do we believe what these people say. That visit was eye-opening! Focus on Family are a bunch of hypocrite and fraudsters. They are a Feminist group, created to say marriage = men’s burden and women’s benefits. It is a total joke.
Would not be surprised if their leadership gets caught in a Jimmy Swaggert type scandal later on. karma is a bitch, they say! This is Hypocrisy and grand-standing at work, to make they look good, while enriching themselves!
“A new essay from W. Bradford Wilcox has been published: ‘Too Much Netflix, Not Enough Chill: Why Young Americans Are Having Less Sex'”
The latest news about a flesh-eating STD in the UK is just one of the many reasons why I read about people like the Herbivore men in Japan and feel a sense of relief. Sex has more risks than rewards nowadays.
Who is going to take care of her when she is the age of her mother? The mighty State of course….
Sharkly,
Men are guilty if they deny being guilty in the Duluth model. Denying guilt makes one guilty, so all men (never women) are automatically guilty.
Do note that Dobson is no longer at Focus on the Family and seems to have been pushed out quite a while ago. I haven’t listened to his own show much since then, so I don’t know if I he follows the same things now. He had some good ideas, but they led to this. Though I suspect he was not as gungho for some of this, which is why they pushed him out of the organization he founded.
JRob,
You don’t hear her if you don’t fully agree with her!
Lost Patrol,
She is right that so few single men are at church. Why go to a place that cuts you down continually? Though I am sure she looks right past the single men that are there. They don’t even exist in her eyes because they are not to the standard she deserves!
Earl,
Paul was not unsure about his salvation, he was concerned about failing to earn the rewards for his work. Rewards are different than salvation. That is a “works approach” to things showing through.
AR,
They also want confident men who are not arrogant. Though they get to decide which is which.
Splashman,
Few women, even Christian ones, see themselves as any kind of helper for a husband. That kills any chance of a strong marriage.
“As of one month ago, another close friend, Julianna, and I decided to buy a house together. Actually, we’re building it together.”
Lord have mercy, she’s a latent lesbian! Stand by for the “God has called me to come out!” announcemt…
@FYI
The first paragraph of the Wilcox article you mentioned should tell you all you need to know: “…the cultural outrage over men’s bad behavior is likely to accelerate this trend”.
Oh, that is right. ONLY MEN misbehave! 😆
By the way, the whole theme about “Netflix an chill” is The whole “come over to watch Netflix and chill” is a reference to gaming women on Tinder. You can “swipe right” Ms. WhoreSmith and say “hey wanna come over to watch NetFlix and hang out”?. If she agrees, it is a 99% sure bang. I have had 6 different guys confirm this to me, since they use Tinder regularly for this type of thing (I do not do this, since I am more into mini-relationships than ONS/quick-hook-ups).
So women agree to come over to a man’s house, a house they have never been to before, to “Watch NetFlix movies” on his TV…. and that “bad behavior” is MAN’s fault?? LOL 🙄
Then it continues on part 2 of this Wilcox article: “…growing concerns about the ways in which unwanted or assaultive sex is dangerous, morally unacceptable and an obstacle to progress in education and the workplace for women in particular…”
Again, Wilcox and his Beta-Feminist mentality assumes men = assault women at work. I wonder why, when cucks like this write this type of garbage, why MEN come under assault from all sides. Innocent en are falsely accused and women who lie are believed because morons like Wilcox ingrained such trash into the minds of unsuspecting readers.
Finally, the conclusion of the article states the most insane of possibilities: MeToo will help restore American marriages! 🙄 No, I am serious. 😆 Wilcox closes with “… if the #MeToo movement ends up boosting considerate, committed and consensual sex, we may see a revival not only of good sex but of a renewed confidence in marriage and parenthood”. 🙄
So this guy thinks that a movement entirely committed to imprisoning and destroying the lives of men, simply because they are men, in a Quixote-like quest to “end the Patriarchy”, a Patriarchy that has not even existed in at least 50+ years in the AngloSphere, is going to “restore” a Christian-style marital system and growing families is insane. #MeToo is a simple extra-judicial way to destroy men, for women to anonymously destroy men’s lives in revenge, to sue and steal a man’s hard work and resources.
There is no good outcome from MeToo hysterial, unless it is legislative reforms making it illegal to make false accusations MeToo-style and making it easier for men to sue employers who terminate them based on an unproven MeToo allegation and false accusers.
But Wilcox’s conclusion that MeToo = more marriages and more 2-parents raising kids is the equivalent of shooting someone’s leg to help relieve their blood pressure. It akin to killing the patient to end the patent’s mild headache. lol
After paragraph 2, I realized this is standard boiler-plate feminist leftism trying to appeal to a very small Beta-fied cuckservative audience. I just finished reading so I could comment on the article you linked.
These days, when I see typical FemiNazi propaganda mentality of cuckservatives like Brad Wilcox online, I immediately copy the link and send to friends. We all share a huge laugh. 😀
Do people like Wilcox and the National Review, who claim to care about “society” so much ever consider the cost and consequences of their policies? You know, these wonderful policies that have impoverished and divided America to the point of conflict? These fake conservatives are the ones demanding endless foreign wars, ever-growing trade deficits, increased dependency on enemies like China, mass-exportation of American jobs, unlimited low-wage immigration, promoting #MeToo hysterics, and “Yes Means Yes” type of laws (see: https://dalrock.wordpress.com/2014/10/15/making-the-world-safe-for-foolish-promiscuous-women/ ).
It is people like Wilcox that promote marrying post-wall sluts and promoting divorce rape culture. They promote Marriage 2.0 not become it will be good for men, but because it is good for “society as a whole” (see: https://dalrock.wordpress.com/2017/02/20/will-wilcox-and-the-men-of-national-review-respect-you-in-the-morning/ ). These elites think men are disposable cogwheels in a global engine, easily replaced and discarded at anytime, without second thought. No one is unique or made in God’s image to Wilcox and his cadre; men are defective women, designed to produce the next generation of cannon fodder in order to be the work mules and combat victims in to further enrich 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001% of the population (the global elites).
Men look at life through cost-benefit analysis. If the cost of a quick bang is possibility of prison, then he will take care of himself at zero cost at home. If the cost of hiring a woman could be a false accusation later on, men will not hire women. If the cost of marriage and kids is his financial ruin and jail for failure to become a slave of his ex-cheating wife, men will opt out of marriage and/or kids. This is not that hard to figure out.
Wilcox will never get this because he is not a real man. He is a Feminist, a “defective woman” who just happens to have a male-ish body. A woman’s mind writing to a male audience, an audience expected to listen and obey; an audience of men Wilcox hopes will pretend it is 1950 and not 2018.
Any real man who has even smelled the Red Pill from a mile away gets this reality and acts accordingly.
She says her parents marriage was too boring:
“I had created an idea of what marriage should be based on my parents involving the suburbs, monogamy and daily routines I’m not interested in.”
This woman might as well be tattooed with a giant HAZMAT sign.
Its odd that single women feel called to help people get married. There are probably lots of funny examples of failures giving guidance to others but that one seems consistent with the age.
I also hate how some people celebrate everything they do as if it is a big revelation.
In addition to the theme behind this post (i.e., that only women can fail miserably at something and still get away with billing themselves as “experts” at it), I’ll repeat what I said in another threat a few months back: that the vast MAJORITY of women today are failures at simply being women, because they have refused to lived their lives in accordance with the purpose that God designed them for. To use two examples right off th top of my head, the matriarch of the Duggar family is one of the most successful women who has ever lived in modern times. Teresa May, Angela Merkel, and millions of other high-powered YugoGrrrrrrl celebs and career women are the epitome of failure (i.e., childless, often life-long singles or multi-divorced, having no family and having wasted their lives being what are essentially fifth-rate men). Other examples about, with just a little thought.
ChristianCool says:
September 11, 2018 at 10:23 am
FotF is just one example of the reality behind these churchian “mega-ministry” organizations. All are as rotten and corrupt as the world they claim to be campaigning and preaching against.
Who is going to take care of her when she is the age of her mother? The mighty State of course….
In her dreams. At the rate current events are progressing, the god-daddy State she pins her future hopes on is going to be either bankrupt, non-existent after a prolonged civil war, or both.
@Magneto2975
You will be AMAZED how many clients we have had over the years that do something as insane as buying anything intrinsic with a friend or girlfriend.
One case I worked in, this couple got “caught up in the excitement” of the sales pitch while vacationing on my home State of FL and bought a timeshare together when they were dating!!! 😮 Not only they “invested” in the worst investment money can buy, they did it while still dating (not even engaged). 🙄
After they broke up, the problems began. Neither wanted the nightmarish cost of a timeshare, the sky-high maintenance fees, and the insane “special assessments” fees the timeshare owners association put on them. The timeshare company sued both of them individually. My client alone spent at least $15,000 in legal fees trying to solve this mess, his ex-girlfriend spent at least that, not more (she hired a lawyer that charges $400/h, which is way more than my old boss at $180/h, which is considered “low”, if you can believe it)!
Can you imagine buying a HOUSE, actual real estate, with a friend?!?! It is ignorance of the legal system and real life consequences. Imagine how one flaky friend could decide to move with her new boyfriend out of State and she “wants out” of the house and friend #2 refuses to sell?
Now what? Friend #1 moving out of State can simply stop paying and tell #2 to keep the house and keep paying. If #1 is dumb enough, years later friend #2 can come back and sue to sell property she still owns! Even if friend #1 is only one living in the house for years and only one paying for years, the joint Deed to property controls the whole thing, not who is on loan documents.
How about if one fails to insure property and a visitor slips and falls inside house and gets paralyzed? Lawsuit alone will be in the tens of thousands in damages, if not over a million. Without homeowner’s insurance, they BOTH can be personally sued for the damages to the slip and fall victim.
Doing a “Quit Claim Deed” is even a worst idea, because at that point, the friend who “quits their claim” to house STILL has their name in LOAN docs (debt obligation) and now has no ownership rights to house! So there is no easy way out of this mess. There is no easy way out unless the friend (or ex-friends) can sell property together and hope for some profit from sale (and not owe more than house is worth) or work out a deal to allow one friend out of the mess completely (a re-fi), but to allow someone out of this mess will take either voluntary cooperation or expensive litigation and lots of fighting.
I can go on and on about this. No wonder the Bible says do NOT co-sign for any debts. Buying a house “together” is like co-signing a loan for someone else to get a car or personal loan for quick cash!
“A man lacking in sense pledges and becomes guarantor in the presence of his neighbor.” – Proverbs 17:18
“Do not be among those who give pledges, among those who become guarantors for debts.” – Proverbs 22:26
“He who is a guarantor for a stranger will surely suffer for it, but he who hates being a guarantor is secure.” – Proverbs 11:15
People are so oblivious of the legal ramifications of living in a litigious country like the USA, they do stupid stuff like that. No wonder America employs more lawyers than the rest of the world combined!!! 🙄
I’m becoming more and more disillusioned with how unsuitable for marriage many Churchian women have become, as illustrated by Lisa, Wendy, and Mandy. My own recent experiences are no less discouraging.
Just at church this past Sunday, I struck up a good conversation with a cute, young woman who was new to my city. I said we should meet up this week, and she gave me her number. Today I was planning to reach out to set something up, but was tempted to Google her name first. Lo and behold, the second hit was an instagram account with 1400+ followers, filled with a “greatest hits” of spring break parties from Corpus Christi, Vegas, and Cancun. Not what I wanted to see.
Separately, a couple weeks ago, I approached a cute, modestly dressed gal in a bar, and we got to talking. On her own, she brought up her Christian faith and experiences from a recent missions trip to Africa. But after I pushed a bit (and she finished her second drink), she directly admitted to abandoning her faith while attending college at a large state school, and living four years of being naughty and partying.
It’s just frustrating how these two Christian women openly reveal so much baggage at first meeting. If a Christian man can’t find a woman suitable for dating/marriage in the Church, then where?
BillyS
They also want confident men who are not arrogant. Though they get to decide which is which.
Eh, who cares? Since their emotions change like the weather, behavior that is “arrogant” one day is attractive 10 or 14 days later.
To restate my point: when women try to act like men, they do a rather poor job of it. Their “confidence” is thinner than a layer of nail polish because it covers insecurity, therefore it all comes out as bossyness, arrogance, etc.
Among men I have heard and said this: “If you are gonna be that arrogant, you better be right all the time“. Most are not up to that, so a bit of humility goes a long way.
As a rule, modern women in the US don’t have a clue what “humility” looks like or means, because they’ve been taught YouGoGrrl arrogance/bossyness from childhood.
@feeriker says: “This woman might as well be tattooed with a giant HAZMAT sign”.
I say she should have a HazMat sign with neon and blinking red lights!!! This is a divorce lawyer’s dream client! She will probably marry to get a big lavish party paid for by some Beta clown and consult with her divorce attorney the day after they get back from the expensive vacation he calls “honeymoon”. This is the type of woman that wants a PARTY, not a marriage.
I agree, Feeriker, women have lost their purpose in Godly plan, and they are failing miserably. Here is a great list of 15 female world leaders that are incredible failures, which have caused pain and suffering to millions of human beings worldwide: http://www.returnofkings.com/154877/15-evil-or-incompetent-women-who-prove-that-females-are-horrible-leaders
Focus In The Family was “dead to me” the instant they showed their false Conservatism for being anti-2nd Amdn and their hypocrisy. That was before I even realized their flagship books were pure “Christian” Feminism (I never read their stuff).
Also, Feeriker is right that we are fast approaching a debt crisis in America, because our loan-to-debt ratio is too high. We could have Greece-style debt crisis here in USA where “Austerity Measures” may be imposed, so people counting on State to care for them are putting themselves at real risk. No amount of tax hikes will fix this problem, we need spending cuts. But all we hear in DC is Paul Ryan cuckservatives talking more welfare for illegal aliens and open borders and the left/Dems is pushing “universla medicare”, which would cost $25 trillion, if not more. Taxes on middle class would have to be raised over 60% base rate, completely unsustainable.
Trump has enabled the US economy to grown and expand by de-regulating and cutting taxes. Trump simply took Obummer’s boot off the throat of small businesses and that has fueld the economy naturally, in conjunction with re-negotiating horrible globalist trade deals, which are “global welfare” at the backs of American workers.
But that is only “buying us time” to get our fiscal house in order and cut spending. No amount of tax hikes will be able to bail America out of this mess, only spending cuts can. Obummer took us from $9 trillion in debt to $20 trillion in debt in 8 years. It has become unsustainable and not even Trumpian economic growth and economic reforms will prevent this from coming to a head in time; he has simply bought us time to put fix in place.
If the Devilcrats take over House in Nov 6, 2018 election, they will block any reforms to allow economy to continue to grow and will demand massive increases in spending to pass any budgets, including even MORE welfare for illegal aliens. This will push the debt crisis into a reality faster than anyone thinks possible. It may even set off economic recession, which would only hasten the debt crisis.
Once Austerity Measures are imposed (we won’t have a choice, unless they monetize the debt, which means printing paper money like drunken sailors and causing mass inflation)… either scenario will cause civil unrest. Sadly, our country is hyper-polarized and extremely volatile due to mass immigration and internal divisions that are fuled daily by the fake news media CNN/MSNBC types.
I say prepare for either accordingly. Trouble is coming.
@Badman
You and I may be in the same boat, my friend.
I am 36, widowed, was married 12 years, so I am obviously “husband material”. I am naturally Alpha because my mom is Italian and I grew up with great male role models on her side of the family, just tough Italian men all around. I am in excellent physical shape, I used to take uh….. “injectable vitamins” back then so I am really muscular developed and I am still to this day very much a fitness fanatic, working out at least 4-5 days a week and I do a lot of weights. I am a pretty boy-type with a clear and obvious cocky attitude (my late wife thought I was a player on my first date and I often get women asking me to this day “are you a player, which I never answer, I just give them a grin and look away a bit), which women like, even ones from church. I am a solid 8 in looks and yes, I may be a little too much into my appearance, but that is just who I am. I wear all custom-fit Italian suits, I have great taste even in casual clothing. I am one of these guys who does in-person approaches to women all the time.
I drive an excellent car (cool brand new sporty convertible), I make good money doing PT consulting work, so I have a lot of flexibility at work and make a very good living (not rich, but somewhere between middle and upper-middle class), my house is paid off in a great suburb. I am even doing law school now evenings in a 4-year program. I have my life very much in order. 36, widowed, Christian, I am a good guy, not a player (despite my confident/slightly cocky attitude) no debt, no kids. You would think I would have “pick of the liter” when it came to Christian women, right?
Well, yes, but only women in their 30-40 age range.
I am 36, I think I need to date women at least 5-10 years YOUNGER…. but welcome to FemMerica, land where women think you need to date “your age or older”, which is no-go for me. But the worst part is the QUALITY of the women you meet in most churches today.
Interestingly enough, a lot of married women in my old church would say “you would be perfect for my (friend/niece/cousin/sister/co-worker/etc)”. They know I was a top-quality husband who has his life together. So I feel like I have a target on my back now, I am some 30+ woman’s bailout boy…. but they won’t get that bailout from me, at least. No way I am going that route. 😉
Also, I learned my lesson: do NOT date women from your own church. You need to go other churches your own to get dates. I got burned really bad by making the mistake of a) dating too soon after becoming widowed (she pushed me into it because she wnated to lock me in when I was still very much grieving my wife’s passing still; and b) after the break-up, she went out and told everyone what a player I was, that I was just “using her for sex”, which wad totally not what happened. I told her from the moment she “set me up” for a date (I did not I was even on a date with this woman, we were just talking… long story). I told her clearly at that time I was NOT ready to be in relationship, I was still grieving… but did she listen? Nah, she wanted me to commit to her right away when I was still in pain and weakened…. so anyway….
But who do you think church folks believed??? 😡 The “evil man” who bedded a holy woman from church or an angelic female being who claims she was used for sex and coldly discarded by a man? 🙄 I changed churches after that, but it sucked because I lost my friendship with most of the men’s group we hung out together. Even the wives of these guys were saying crap like “watch out for Chris, he is a player, do not let him talk you into cheating on me” and all sorts of insane stuff. I was burned badly and changed churches afterwards. Lesson learned.
If you want women from your own church, be prepared to feel the heat once relationship ends. My advice is to “visit” other churches or get married women from your church to “set you up” with women they know from other churches (for supposed meeting a woman to marry – they love playing “matchmaker”). That way, it creates a “two-step distance” from your own regular church. Does this make sense?
If you date a woman form another church, and you got to meet her via another woman from your church, than you are ok. The problem is when a female member of your church goes around telling people you are using her for sex. When a woman who sets you up on a date with a woman no one in your local church knows her, if the “matchmaker” in your church complains you are using women, they will ask “who did he do that to?” and if it is outside the church, the accusation dies down. No one cares, the pastor’s jurisdiction is his church. 😉
So NO, do not date women from your own church. If she gets pissed off about break-up, you will be ostracized, pastor will call you for “counseling” on not hurting women, etc.
You dodged a bullet there, man. Better you know NOW than find out later the hard way. This is the kind of woman that will cuckold some guy just to watch him suffer. I am glad you checked her out and saw she had InstaGram with 1400+ followers, filled with a “greatest hits” of spring break parties from Corpus Christi, Vegas, and Cancun. Red flags and fireworks should be going off in your radar.
Cancun during spring break is the Sodom of beach destinations in the West. The only worse than Cancun is Dubai, but that means she went there “for work” (hooker). The other location to watch out for Panama City Beach. I went there for Spring Break back in 1997 and back then, it was really tame compared to what I saw on Hannity special on Spring Breaks last year. I was never a party animal, but Panama City today is the Gomorrah of spring break America, man, I kid you not. Worst than even Miami or Vegas.
I can almost bet that InstaGram girl has a notch count well, and I mean well above 100 if she has partied that much. She is probably 300+ if she is a recent Christian convert and she is almost to 30. I love Vegas too, but when I see groups of women there (regardless of age), I know they are there on a bang-trip. Bachelorette parties being the worst, 2nd worst is Cali girls going there for “cheap fun”, that is code for “anonymous bang trip”
As for girl #2, if she “abandoned her faith” and partied for 4 years in college, dude, she is probably worse…. MUCH worse than InstaGram girl in Cancun. One of my friends met an Army girl, she had a very fun personality (he is Army guy too, so they struck up well). Once she had 2 drinks, she began to tell my friend that she grew up in very strict Christian family and that on her first year in college she banged 104 different guys on her first year of college. She wrote it all down because she wanted to leave her diary when she came to her father’s house (so dad finds it later), so he could see what she was doing. 104 guys is basically 1 new guy every 3 days.
My friend said she said she “needed a break” from growing up in strict Christian household, so she went on a “rampage” as she said.
Also, if girl #2 is into “missions trip”, she is probably a SJW. ❗ The code words are “Africa” and “mission”, meaning she has some sort of a “duty” to do this overseas. In USA today, 1 in 3 are calling themselves unaffiliated, 12% atheist, highest in US history. There is a lot of mission to be done in our own backyard. The same “red flag” should go up and if she says she wants to adopt a kid from Africa or China, for instance. That is virtue-signaling 101. Danger zone for you.
I dated a girl when I was 19 that wanted me to go to Angola, a country ridden with illegal guns, crime, diseases, and landmines, because I happen to be fluent in Portuguese, the language of Angola (the church was desperate for someone fluent in English and Portuguese to translate, as local Angolan translators were horrible). I told her NO, if I could not have my own AK when going to a country that dangerous, no way I would go. Looking back, I realize now I dodged a huge bullet because she was a SJW, so glad we ended things shortly after that.
Women who ride the carrousel, once she passes that 30-cock line, she is damaged goods for life. I know as men, we are natural fixers, we want to restore things and make things work well. We have in our nature a desire to give people the benefit of the doubt, to want to believe the best about people, especially women. That is a weakness that will cause you much, and I mean much, much pain.
My own situation…. Lately, I have given up on even TRYING to find a woman for an LTR, possibly having kids with that LTR woman. I can survive child support if it comes to it later on, but I will NOT get married again. It is a money-trap for men. I can do live-in LTR, fully-committed but not marry, that is where I draw the line. NO way I am gonna put everything I worked hard for, that my late wife sacrificed for, to the whims of a woman or the capriciousness of a family court judge. NO freakin way.
Honestly, I am at a point now where I am wondering even IF I should bring a kid into this mess of a world. Our country is completely unstable after decades of abuse, mismanagement, and large-scale immigration. Our women are a joke, I mean, even church ones are just lowest quality possible. Once they go to a 4-year University and live on campus or if her parents encourage her You-Go-Guuuuurrrllll lifestyle and paid for her to party in “exotic beach locations”, she will be tainted for life.
My strategy right now is not to worry about it. I am just doing mini-relationships with girls from outside my own church. I do 80/20 system, 80% in person approaches and 20% online game (when I have time). I date until the cost of dating becomes too high and move on to next one. Simply put, IF I meet a quality woman at some point, fine. Otherwise, I will continue to do this until I can no longer do it, and then MIGHT take an LTR and have a kid with. We will see.
But do not set out to find a girlfriend/LTR. Be vague with woman, ands LIE if you have to. You are dealing with a woman and lying is part of her survival mechanisms developed over the last 6,000 years. That is part of her subconscious, her “War Bride” survival mindset. Understand she is an adversary, not an enemy, but unless she is truly special and wants to be a real-life partner with you, understand that any woman is an adversary with her own agenda and own goals, which you are just an ink smudge on the side of the page.
Final word of advice for all its worth: do NOT get married. Christian or not, you are handing her a permission slip to gain weight, to become more feminist, to threaten you with divorce. It is NOT worth it. Any woman who has had a “party past” will never be satisfied with one man and a “boring life” of stability and kids in a suburb. Once she tastes the “freedom” of a party lifestyle, however brief, she is tainted for life. LTR her if you must, make her your live-in roommate with a well-written contract if you must, but do not marry. It is worst idea ever, a one-sided contract where the man ALWAYS loses.
You are thinking Christian marriage; she is thinking Marriage 2.0, whether she admits to that or not.
Take what I am saying for what it is worth, man. Good luck, it is a jungle out there for sure.
It remains just unbelievable to me that attractive women like Hale, Griffith and Anderson couldn’t get the job done and find one suitable man to marry. Less attractive women, stupider women, women with less sense and education, and women with so much less going for them could get this done.
They CHOSE not to get it done. They decided of their own volition to wait, and they waited too long, and now it’s too late.
They don’t see the men that are unqualified in their eyes Deti, so they think they had no one.
@ChristianCool
(36 / 2) + 7 = 25
Not 30, not 35 and for sure not 40.
Just saying.
CC,
Jesus is not really your Lord if you think you can bang women outside of some marriage. The modern system may be broke, but that doesn’t give you the license to go against God’s Laws. Do it if you wish to do so, but quit claiming to be following Christ.
AR,
I was just noting their hypocrisy. I agree that they are not what they claim.
I am right most of the time, at least in non-social interaction issues. I think well enough that I have generally thought or think through the issues much more than most. Of course all don’t agree with me, but that is life in general.
I am seeking (and somewhat learning) to shut up more in life however. Most people have no desire to know someone else, much to my chagrin.
Feeriker,
True, but things like that can last far longer than most think. My exwife may get away with her plan, though I doubt it.
I want to build my own support network, but can’t figure out how to connect with like-minded men at this time. I can make money, but tech is a bit fragile in that case and I could be hosed too. Though I do suspect my son would look out for me with his family if things came down to that given his character, even though we disagree on some things. I am hesitant to rely on him too much, but I am not sure I have a lot of other options now.
Kevin: I also hate how some people celebrate everything they do as if it is a big revelation.
When I was on jury duty, I was sitting in the waiting room with other prospective jurors. A middle-aged woman sat near me. She called a friend on her cell phone, greeted her with a cheerful voice, then suddenly heaved a heavy sigh and sullenly said, “I’m on jury duty.”
After she was finished with that call, she called another friend. The same pattern. A cheerful greeting, then the heavy sigh followed by a sullen, “I’m on jury duty.”
She did that two more times. Four phone calls in all. Always the FAKE heavy sigh and FAKE sullen voice. As though she just happened to call, then suddenly thought to mention that she was on jury duty.
My, how she relished that bit of gossip. As though it were some amazingly interesting revelation that she was stuck in a juror’s waiting room, doing what millions of Americans do every year.
ChristianCool: CO Springs is where Focus on The Family is located at. My wife was all excited about it, as we both THOUGHT (incorrectly) that they were a “Conservative Christian group”.
The SPLC calls it a “hate group.”: http://americablog.com/2010/09/splc-blasts-focus-on-the-family-goal-is-apparently-to-make-schools-less-safe-for-lgbt-students.html
Sounds like your tradesmen friends are pieces of shit
While certainly a single woman trying to give advice about how to get married is funny…when the married ones try to give advice usually centered around not submitting to your husband, that’s even more dangerous. (Shelia, Sheila, Sheila)
I think both single and married women’s advice who’s foundation about dating/marriage is all around women not submitting is the common laughable theme here.
thedeti says:
September 11, 2018 at 2:05 pm
Deti, whether they admit it or not, or even consciously realize it, Wendy, Mandy, and Lisa believe that marriage is suitable ONLY for the “less attractive, stupider, uneducated loser” women with so much less going for them, since those are the only women who would ever feel the need to submit themselves to a man like Scripture commands. Awesome, empowered career wimminz would NEVER demean themselves in that way, no matter what that “God” guy says they should do. After all, He doesn’t realize that they’re StrongAndEmpowered[TM] and don’t need to depend on no stinkin’ man.
Maybe, in their arrogant delusion, they think that they’re doing these “inferior” women a favor by giving them sure-to-fail advice that will keep them away from those nasty, patriarchal Christian men.
“My salvation is secure.”
This is straight-up heresy, as defined by the Council of Trent. It is also a serious sin. Namely, the sin of presumption.
No saint or apostle (to include those who worked miracles, endured martyrdom, or bore the stigmata) would ever have dared say such a thing. And as Earl pointed out, this included St. Paul…who eocouraged others to “work out your salvation in fear and trembling, even as I do”.
So this broad thinks she’s holier than St. Paul and any of the greatest saints and martyrs in Church history! They had to “work out their salvation in fear and trembling”, but she has a golden ticket straight to Heaven? Are you even kidding me!
Nutjob, full stop.
The phrase “Boston marriage” springs to mind.
earl — “There are really only two reasons I’m confident: My salvation is secure, and I know I’m loved. And yet St. Paul…who I think we can agree would have more merit than her about a secure salvation…was never confident of this.”
Yeah. Work out your salvation with fear and trembling. Not with smugness and flippancy.
I’m not confident that her salvation is secure. At all.
Make spinsters creepy again!
“The SPLC calls it a ‘hate group.’: http://americablog.com/2010/09/splc-blasts-focus-on-the-family-goal-is-apparently-to-make-schools-less-safe-for-lgbt-students.html”
Then FOTF must’ve been doing something right.
Christian Cool at 11:22 —
“After paragraph 2, I realized this is standard boiler-plate feminist leftism trying to appeal to a very small Beta-fied cuckservative audience.”
Wilcox is not an outlier. He is very much at the center of ‘conservatism’ in post-empire America. He’s not appealing to a small audience of cohorts . . . he’s a popular populist, indeed that is why he and the thousands of ‘Christian leaders’ like him are embraced by modern America. They are feminists who would deny the name; while they clothe themselves in the vestments of Christianity, falsely, using the title but denying the real power, and rebelling against the Word.
Mainstream conservative America — particularly the Pious Pastorate — is fine with $MeToo. Breitbart Magazine and American Thinker Magazine, probably the two leading general-rightie mags on the net — both came out fully on-board with $MeToo. The conservative commentariats . . . likewise, rabidly supportive of the latest pogrom against boys and men. Rarely does a day go by without the Short Skirt Squadron at FOX News (the ‘fair and balanced alternative’) doing another advocacy-piece for $MeToo. And so on.
The remnant is small. Very small. The Church is small — just like Jeshua said over and over. The Escapees, they will be a small and select group also. These Christians expecting some mass harpazo of believers that stuns the nations with the sudden disappearance of hundreds of millions of Faithful . . . it ain’t gonna happen. (If Sharkley will excuse me for blustering and pretending to be a man of God.)
Thank you for the link, Dalrock. I’ve linked back here:
“Another ‘Red Pill’ Exit: Fools Rush In, But Wise Men Don’t Marry Crazy Women”
Just saw Mandy Hale’s video ‘Top 10 Reasons I don’t Mind Being Single’ No s*#t she’s still single. No man wants that. She’s completely self centered and proud of it. Comes across as really stubborn too.
Are men intimidated by confident women?
No, they are repulsed by them.
There is only one reason for a man to marry today: to form a family. Marriage minded men are looking for family orioriented wives. Hence the recent article stating men want women who are virgins, and tattoo & debt free.
Strong, independent women are a divorce risk. Career women add more risk to childbearing, because they have put off having children till their 30s. Neither shows signs that nurturing children and family is their top priority (or a priority at all).
@BillyS
You speak as IF I had a choice in the matter. I do NOT go around seeking out women to have random, casual sex with. That has never been my M.O., even when I was younger. I always wanted to marry a virgin Christian girl while a virgin myself (and I almost did), but she even pressured me into it after we had been dating several months.
Billy, if I had my way, we would not be in the mess we are in, when it comes to relationships, dating, and marriage. But as it stands today, I do not have a choice.
The whole thing reminds me of these guys saying stuff like “I would never allow my woman to take my kid(s) and have some Beta cuck raise them on my stead”. I just laugh. As IF he even has a say (or choice) in the matter. The Family Court Judge (/a/k/a/ The Empress in Black Robes) will decide. Any violation of her Empress’ orders = jail time. Repeated violations = prison time.
I will not “quit saying I am a Christian” because I am. Imperfect, trying my best to do the right thing, but living in a world and in a society set on the destruction of my faith and the systematic legal repression of men for the crime of being male.
@Red Pill Latecomer
If the Southern Poverty Law Center really is (SPLC) calls Focus on The Family (FotF) a “hate group”, that goes to show you how insane the Southern Poverty Law Center really has become! 😮 FotF is a center-Left “Christian” group. They teach pseudo-Christianity and Cultural Marxism (a/k/a/ Feminism) disguised as some sort of Christianity for women.
I think it speaks more of the insanity of the SPLC than the Christian-effectiveness of the FotF!
@earl
The problem of women advising women on what MEN like is that they advise other women on what they THINK men like.
Men are individuals; we all think differently, have different likes/dislikes, and see this individuality as a positive.
Women are members of a herd. They almost all agree on same things, almost all like the same things, and follow “trends” set by other women.
So when a woman says “all men like ____”, she is basing that on the few men she personally know that like ____, not understanding that does not apply to every other male out there. Or she hears whatever a Kardashian says about “what men like” and believe it as gospel truth.
@ feeriker says:
“…whether they admit it or not, or even consciously realize it, Wendy, Mandy, and Lisa believe that marriage is suitable ONLY for the “less attractive, stupider, uneducated loser” women with so much less going for them, since those are the only women who would ever feel the need to submit themselves to a man like Scripture commands.”
^^^ 100% accurate!!! 🙂 Just read how these women always start telling their own personal stories. It is often starts with something like” “when I was in my 20s, I did not even think about marriage, I was focused on my career/education/dreams/etc… I did not even start thinking about marriage until my mid-to-late 30s or my 40s”.
These 3 “advising women” are special. In their minds, they can be single, lonely, but successful and awesome. They can have it all, do anything, be anything. 🙄 They feel entitled to advise women about marriage when they have zero personal experience in the subject.
That would be like me writing a book or given advice to others on how to weld! Just because I observed someone welding a few times (and yet have never even touched a blowtorch) does not enable me to advise welder on how to do his job!
Just nuts! 🙄
@ray
Ray, I totally get what you are saying. The problem is that we now have Cuckservatives (those globalist, warmongering, “free-trade”, open borders center-leftists seeking to preserve the status quo of cultural Marxism/feminism) and Conservatives (those wanting a reset and a RESTORATION of America to a Reagan-era of fair trade, no stupid foreign wars, no nation-building, restoration of Constitutional personal freedoms, drastic immigration reduction, and the end of the welfare system that has made “single moms” and Feminism possible).
Wilcox is “mainstream” in the National Review, NY Times, DC cocktail party elite world. He is a cuck and an imbecile outside of the coastal elite circles.
Why do you think Christian Conservatives LOVE Trump? Even though he is crude and not an “Evangelical” (as the media describes us), Trump is helping America restore fiscal sanity, foreign policy sanity, and demanding a return to an America where its policies protect the average American, not the interests of foreign powers or the UN. Trump is helping us hit the reset button.
As America currently is, real Conservatives cannot preserve the status quo today. Just can’t and we do not want that at all!!! We are demanding a hard-reset, one that only Trump offered to do. Paul Ryan, Cruz, Rubio, Bush, McCain…. all of them sough to preserve the current mess; that is why they all lost. Conservatives rebelled and demanding a reset of the mess back to Constitutional principles so then we can preserve that. Trump was only one willing to take up the fight to reset this mess and return us to true Conservatism.
Tucker explains this well… they long for the McCain type of “conservatism”, one where only the elites benefit and we preserve the status quo of today (endless wars, massive debt, unlimited immigration, and etc).
When asked if he was a feminist, Trump replied “no, I am not”. Anyone else would have said “Well, I sympathize with feminist movements, blah blah”. Trump attacks MeToo’s lack of due process frequently on Tweeter and attacks the BS surrounding it as well. It shocks and horrifies the left.
THAT is the type of Conservatism we want. A restored America, so we can “conserve” (preserve”) individual Constitutional freedoms, gender relations (not gender wars), end of welfare system designed to support the “single mom” feminists and
Finally…. I agree with you that the Christian Remnant is indeed very very small. 😦 I started reading a book about this very issue (called: “The Benedict Option” by author Robert Dreher) and it is a sad reality, but it is indeed where we are at today. We are going to have to create a sub-culture and attempt to live by our beliefs more and more separated (as much as possible) from our corrupt society.
Yes, if you are talking a mysterious disappearance called “the Rapture”, which is a pagan Scottish-Gaelic religious theme, not going to happen. A lot of people will be solely disappointed if they are expecting such a “bailout” for sure.
That Benedict Option book is very interesting, as it has real-life ideas on how to manage a Christian life in the mess we have today, probably set to get worse with time too. People need to prepare accordingly, ifs all I can say.
Ray, this is the book I have here and started looking through:
They even had a rally about this very serious topic (id di not attend due to work/school demands on me):
The author did an interview with Tucker last year, if you are curious.
The author is saying “this is the reality, our society has corrupted even the Church, and what it means to be Christian is at stake.
This is a serious book, this is not pseudo-Christianity. This is preserving Biblical Christianity (Orthodox Christianity) in a hostile culture of today, just a few Christian preserved it through the collapse of the Western Roman Empire.
I am not sure if this will be a waste of my time or not, but I have iot here and will read it in time. This is a Biblical Christianity and the author understands that the left (Feminists, Complementary, and others) are re-defining Christianity.
C*Cool,
“Billy, if I had my way, we would not be in the mess we are in, when it comes to relationships, dating, and marriage. But as it stands today, I do not have a choice.”
If you have agency, you have a choice.
I agree with BillyS on this, if you are going to fornicate, don’t call yourself a Christian.
“We don’t use the word spinster any more, but if we did, Anderson and her committed-roommate would be textbook examples.”
As either you or Rollo noticed, that sort of way-past-the-“best-before”-date woman is nowadays primly self-identified as “The Writer”, usually complete with Problem Glasses.
Although I doubt any of them can manage a decent longhand.
CC,
I am not saying you are not a Christian, that is up to God to confirm. I am saying you should not identify with that if you are not willing to follow His clear commands. No one is forcing you to fornicate, as Bee notes. You have made that choice.
I had the spigot completely cut off after almost 30 years of marriage, yet I am not looking for non-marriage solutions to resolve that. I am seeking God to lessen the desires so I can be obedient to His commands. I don’t justify sin in the name of “but that is the way it is.”
The current system truly does suck, but we still have a higher call on our lives. You still have it easier than those under one of the many Roman persecutions, or even the times the RCC killed off a bunch of Protestants who stood against their corruption.
You might benefit by reading Foxes Book of the Martyrs to put a little context into things. Also look into persecution against Christians going on today and tell me if you are really facing that level of problems.
https://biblehub.com/matthew/19-12.htm
Many Christian young men have been forced to be a eunuch, but that doesn’t justify intentional ongoing sin. Having serial relationships is no better than what many women are doing either. Neither fits God’s plan, as started in the Garden of Eden.
Oh DO I have a choice here? 🙄
What world are you guys living in? What some are saying to me is “go marry one of them sluts?”. Come on! 🙄 If you are marrying just to satisfy an arbitrary requirement (for sex not to occur outside marriage), then that is what you are saying.
Wife up some Ms. WhoreSmith, they say! It will work out great! LOL But isn’t that what Feminists are telling Christian men, to wife up some Carrousel Rider post-wall woman later in life? That men need to “eat his lumps”? “Man up”! That is your solution for solving the sin of non-marital sex?
For me to put my entire life’s work, assets, future freedom, and personal well-being in peril by marrying some random broad is absolutely insane. It defies logic for me to be burdened with the yoke of a woman who has made life choices I did not make. I married young and stayed faithful. Is it my burden now to be yoked with some “reformed slut” later in life because my wife of 12 years died? Preposterous proposition.
🙄
Choosing to be an eunuch is not for me. I am not someone overly sexual in nature, I have plenty of self control, but I simply refuse to become an eunuch because feminists destroyed women in Christian churches. I am 36, I have the right to approach girls and have a non-live in girlfriend. But in today’s age NO WOMAN will stay with a man who has self-eunuch himself (just coined a term for you, @BillyS!). 😆
Again, why should I have to shoulder the burden of a societal problem that was created decades before my birth, which I have no way to chance on my own? That is like people wanting reparations for slavery that took place in the 1850s from Americans who immigrated here a generation ago and whose descendants never owned any slaves. 🙄 Totally preposterous, Beta, Feminist SJW attitude and mentality.
This conversation brings up an interesting subject for those brining up non-marital sex as a sin. In your opinion, “is a sin a sin”? Is stealing a loaf of bread during a food shortage (theft) a sin equal to sending millions into death camps (genocide) as we saw in late 1930s Europe? Are there severity to sins or a sin is a sin (they are all equally bad)?
Before I go, I have a little quote here for you two passing such judgment on me:
“Haven’t you read what David did when he and his companions were hungry? He entered the house of God, and he and his companions ate the consecrated bread—which was not lawful for them to do, but only for the priests”. — Jesus Christ (Matthew 12:3-4)
A sin, as ruled by The Law is not as simple and clear as you try to make it to be. Circumstances dictate how God disperses His righteous Judgment. Otherwise, God would not be the ultimate fair judge, if he was simply looking at The Law.
Something to think about. 😉
@Badman: “Let’s not forget, the future belongs to those who have children”
Very true and that is one of the few reasons I actually considered trying to get re-married again after becoming widowed.
But then I look at the colossal mess we have in this country today, where even the refuge of the churches has vanished from our society, and wonder “is it worth it to have a kid given all this?”
I wonder if it is a selfish act on my part to have a kid, for the sake of carrying my genes and my memory/legacy?? To bring a kid into a society that is total collapse and freefall? Where churches no longer provide women that are marriageable and support SJW causes like divorce-rape, gay marriage, open borders and unlimited immigration?
If we have an amnesty for the 20+ million illegals living in USA today, we weill have over 100 million new immigrants come in by chain migration in 10 years time. 10 years! US population would be over 450 million, and would have a massive poor immigrant underclass (Democrat voting block) that will be unchallenged for the next 100+ years. Texas, FL, NV, Georgia, Arizona, and the Carolinas become solid blue overnight. Pleaces like Utah and Louisiana becomes a battleground States.
Is that a world that is suitable to try to raise a Christian child, against all odds? A country that will be considerably poorer, more unstable, where Christianity is virtually outlawed by activist judges, and in a constant state of unrest?
Tough stuff to think about….
C*Cool,
Jesus said that his followers should judge with righteous judgement. It is in John 7.
@Bee
I am NOT someone who uses “do not judge me” as a defense/deflection tool. I am open to being “judged” (called out on) when I am wrong.
Problem is that I simply cannot be held personally responsible for a feminist system that has been destroying women since the 1960s (20+ years before I was even born) and the lack of Christian “traditional” women in the church. I am not looking for a Christian woman that is spotless and flawless. I will take the model with SOME miles on it, but NOT the one whose odometer has so many miles, it has flipped over and started again at 00000. 🙄
I should not have to bare the brunt of marrying a reformed slut for the sake of society’s benefiting from marriages as Bard Wilcox/Dennis Prager demands men do (i.e. wedding costs and the slave hours I would have to work called the “marriage premium”). I should not have to suffer the consequences of a feminist system I did not have a hand in creating nor do I approve of.
All I am saying is that I should not be yoked with an unbeliever or worse, a reformed slut recent Christian convert (tons and tons of them in churches today, searching vigorously for her Beta Bux).
She gets to party and bang boatloads of guys in her primer 20s and I get to marry her in her post-wall 30s and deal with the baggage and drama she will bring in to my life, including all the nightmarish legal risks I would solely incur? 🙄 LOL Who wants to be the sucker to pick up the taxi cab fare when everyone else has gone for a free ride? No thanks.
It is laughable I even have to explain the Marriage 2.0 scam to people this day and age. It is either a willful blindness or complete ignorance of realities of post-Feminist America.
I will let God, the ultimate Judge look at whole situation I was born into and render judgment on me for deciding NOT to marry again under this mess. I am not God, I cannot comprehend His infinite wisdom, but I seriously doubt God had Feminism and systemic legal abuse of men in mind when he established marriage.
God is the Ultimate Judge because He can see ALL such things. He can judge by looking at whole circumstance, not just a single factor (i.e. sin of non-marital sex).
The fact is that I decided not to be a part of a system that rewards female bad behavior. For me to bail out post-wall reformed slut after striving to do the right Biblical thing almost my entire life, and have occasional non-marital sex now is a judgment I will let God make on my life. I am not worried about my Salvation and I trust God’s righteous judgment, to look at the whole situation before rendering judgment on me. So I am good.
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You have justified your sin, just like the sluts you denegrate CC. Congrats! You are just as worldly as they are.
God still doesn’t expect excuses in this area. No one requires you to have regular sex, you chose to do it outside God’s ways. Take the concerns up with Him. Your lack of guilt just means you have hardened your heart, not that you are guiltless.
You may still have a reborn spirit, but you are treading the line with not, due to your intentional actions. It may lead you to hear “I never knew you” on that day. Not worth the risk for some earthly pleasure, though the fact you think it is should lead to a lot more introspection than you have done.
Which reply said that? Neither mine nor Bee’s did. You still have no justification for your intentional rebellion. You may get away with it in this life, but that doesn’t make it right and it will have an impact in the next. Many people make excuses for their sin, yet it remains just that. It is really the same rebellion as what you claim to oppose.
I’ve met Lisa Anderson in person. Used to be an avid Boundless podcast listener. I feel a bit bad for her because I think she really does realize to some degree that she screwed up her marriage prospects and can’t change it now.
But coincidentally enough, Boundless had a hand in both my unplugging and my marriage. They have some things right, but it’s as blue pill as can be, and there is a cognitive dissonance there that eventually got loud enough for me to hear. (Loudest of all was their failure to see the need to pair authority with responsibility.) As it turned out, one of the first interactions I had with my now-wife was when she brought up something from their blog and I disagreed with it. Lesson there, perhaps.