Sheila Gregoire at Authentic Manhood coaches frustrated Christian husbands on how to seduce their wives in In Search of the Secret Switch. To her credit, she admits upfront that she has no idea how to actually do such a thing:
If I could share any secret with you, it would be this: we women don’t actually know what that switch is either. After almost two decades of marriage, I’ve decided women’s sex drives are such a mishmash of competing elements that only God knows what’s really going on.
But not knowing how seduction works doesn’t stop Gregoire from offering six pieces of advice to creep your wife out, one piece that reminds us that neither spouse should defraud the other, and an 8th piece of advice to get used to Gregoire’s advice not working. I’ve paraphrased and commented on her eight tips below. In some cases I have quoted bits of detail:
1) Compliment her. It isn’t that you should never tell your wife she is beautiful, but if you are telling her she is beautiful in an effort to get laid you are pandering to her for sex; this is creepy. Moreover, if she’s seldom in the mood she already thinks she outranks you in SMV. Assuring her that this is true will only make things worse. Besides, you’ll both have more fun if you playfully tease her instead.
2) Touch her like you are just friends. This is just formalizing your role as your wife’s beta orbiter. It is also creepy, because you are pretending you aren’t expecting anything when the whole reason you are touching her is to try to get her to have sex with you.
3) Choreplay.
If you want more sex, then go out of your way to make sure your wife isn’t exhausted. Pick up a mop. Put the kids in bed.
Better yet, make a cardboard sign that says “If I do the dishes can I touch your privates?”
4) Become her best girlfriend.
Want more action in the bedroom? Better make sure there’s action outside the bedroom too! Just take a walk with her every night and catch up, giving her a chance to share her heart. Ask about her day and what she’s worried about. This helps clear her head too so that she won’t be so distracted when making love.
More beta orbiter game. Talking with your wife is good, but doing so in order to get sex is needy and creepy. If her mind is focused elsewhere and you want sex, pick her up and carry her into the bedroom.
5) Conduct a sex survey on your wife.
If your wife isn’t having a good time in bed, she certainly may have sexual issues. But for the vast majority of women, when sex doesn’t feel pleasurable, it’s because her husband hasn’t taken the time to learn how to make her feel good, and she’s given up.
Nope. She wants you to Just get it. Pay attention to what she responds to. Don’t ask “Is it ok if I touch you like this?”
6) Stop using porn. This is good advice, and the Apostle Paul tells us in 1 Cor 7-2:5 that neither husbands nor wives should deny the other sex to avoid the temptation of sexual sin. Gregoire doesn’t like that bit of instruction however, and advises wives to do the opposite.
7) Take a shower. Not in itself bad advice, except the frame is “Now that I’m not stinky, can I touch your privates?” Moreover, if she were hot for you, whether you showered or not would not be an issue.
8) Get used to it. This is sadly Gregoire’s best advice, because men who are foolish enough to listen to her are all but guaranteed to creep out their wives. This is especially true because the whole point of the Authentic Manhood program is to ensure that husbands don’t mistakenly take the bible’s instruction on headship and submission seriously. Women are attracted to men who lead them, as Sheila’s husband Keith learned quite by accident:
See Also:
I’ve said, and say it again, just stick to what St.Paul teaches us: just have sex as soon as one of you so desires (1 Co 7). Usually feelings of sexual arousal soon follow suit. And it’s not those feelings that should be prioritized, it is love for your spouse.
Mein Gott this is bad advice. Any “man” following this woman’s advice will get laid less, not more. And maybe divorced.
Women really don’t know what turns them on. I learned long ago never, ever to listen to a woman’s advice re: women.
Pingback: How to creep out your wife. | @the_arv
*Compliment in Point 1
[D: Doh! Thanks! Fixed.]
“We women don’t know what turns us on, but you men better know since we will find you abhorrent if we have to tell you!”
BTW, how is Churchian marriage different from prostitution? I’d rather pay a woman $40 than mop the floor.
From the Rational Male website:
For most men (i.e the 80% Beta men) transactional sex is where the rubber meets the road. In fact, I’d argue that for most Beta men transactional sex is the only definition of sex they ever really know. That’s kind of sad to think about, but most men never really experience the unfettered feral lust of a woman they’ve chosen to spend the rest of their lives with.
https://therationalmale.com/2018/03/07/transactional-vs-validational-sex/
Women are even more clueless than men are, about what turns them on. Hah!
This is the locus. Sheila’s advice, and all other beta orbiter advice, is prescribed under the spoken context that: women are a big mystery that no one can figure out, not even themselves! They don’t struggle with sin and against time, but with “a mishmash of competing elements”; elements being God-given things, you see.
As well as under the unspoken context that the man is not, and never will be, sexy, and the woman always is; no matter how fat and ugly she gets.
So they don’t even mention be sexier. Better to remove obstacles, let her to conserve maximum resources, and then lull her into a comfort so broad that she doesn’t mind too much the emotional drain of a loser like her husband slipping it in.
The odds are high that a group which selects for Mommas Boys, mouthy fatties, and the elderly must usually ignore this good advice.
There was a time…I’d have charged right over to the linked site and set off a comment war. Almost did today.
What I do know is that women’s attraction to me (in a variety of types of relationships) has vastly improved with the more patriarchal and sexist I am.
Why men take ballroom dancing? To meet women. I has nothing to do with leadership, women frankly don’t want to be led even in this environment. They want the illusion. They want someone who can give them the tingles while being graceful. Most men really don’t have the time anymore to decode her cycles and strokes of what’s “bothering” her at the “moment”
Hence why few men take ballroom dancing
And….the assumption *again* that women are just naturally amazing dancers and the “man” as usual has to learn to lead.
Been dancing for decades……..most couples / pairs dancing I have done the woman is like dragging a statue around on the floor. Her excuse is that I am not leading correctly. My answer is “you don’t want to be led”
Most women don’t even know how they get turned on or they are not honest about it.
That is where the wisdom of the pick up artists come into play. And religious men can use that too – countering shit-tests, agree-and-amplify, being more manly, being more self-confident, being dominant. Some of those changes take weeks and months to execute until the wife responds to the shift in the relationship.
Afterwards it is ever easier to turn her on, since you yourself turn her on as you have made Game and Red Pill part of your being. Also – being dominant in bed is very fun. Women are genetically programmed to be submissive and that is why they like the FiftyShades book so much.
She looks old enough to be his mother.
All of these comments and the post itself really sets wrong with me. As a chaplain I am appalled at what is discussed here. Some sort of beta/alpha game. It disgusts me.
@DC: In fact, I’d argue that for most Beta men transactional sex is the only definition of sex they ever really know.
It is the only form of sex they have allowed their wives to define. They allow their wives to use sex to control them. They disobey St. Paul clear instructions, and allow their wives to disobey too. If anyone moves beyond this boundary, both state and churches will start labeling a man “abusive”, Such is the fate of godly men. It takes a lot of cunning and wisdom to change the status quo.
If we men would all stop this model, and not accept it any longer, and return to biblical teachings, things would start to change. We need to take control back, also in our churches. It will not be without struggle that we will advance.
The rise of game denialism is hurting a lot of men :
http://www.returnofkings.com/164869/the-rise-of-game-denialism-is-hurting-a-lot-of-men?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+ReturnOfKings+%28Return+Of+Kings%29
“countering shit-tests, agree-and-amplify, being more manly, being more self-confident, being dominant. Some of those changes take weeks and months to execute until the wife responds to the shift in the relationship”
Good luck with that. In these situations, the only way a change happens is if the woman has conviction to change. Most married “religious” men who apply this will end up divorced.
Please oh wise one…….explain what being “more self confident” means. Being dominat. Clear explanations. These are general off the self terms that have zero power. Application please. Countering “sh*t tests” I have heard ten trillion definitions of what these tests are and waht they entail.
When the man fails, he then will be shamed be MEN about how beta he is………
My mother. My aunts. A few female friends I have NEVER have behaved like this with their men or husbands.
If you as a man get involved with a woman like this, or pursue women like this…..my take that is on YOU, and you’re playing HER game. You ain’t gaming anyone.
I’d like to see the host and commentators go after bigger game:
https://godswordtowomen.org/bilezikian.htm
“If I could share any secret with you, it would be this: we women don’t actually know what that switch is either. After almost two decades of marriage, I’ve decided women’s sex drives are such a mishmash of competing elements that only God knows what’s really going on.”
“The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is ‘What does a woman want?'” – Sigmund Freud
“What a woman wantz is Alpha fuxx and beta buckz.” –da GBFM
All of her “mishmash of competing elements” descends from these competing in goals.
Civilization and Christianity taught “you no follow your gina tingzlzlzozozoz,” in the same way that civilization and Chirtsianity taught men, “you no follow your jealous witsh to kill or murder your brother Abel.”
The wise man undertsands that very few women will realize, or admit, that what they want is “Alpha fuxx and beta buckz.”
The wise man realizes that Chirstianity and Christain marriage will only succeed if he lives by the code “you no want my alpha fuxx, you no get my beta bucks lzozozozozozo”
p.s. happy Easter!
HE HAS RISEN!
Dalrock, you forgot to mention Paul Tripp’s video at the bottom: “A Man and His Mustache”
Dr. Touch. Peaceful SIngle Girl / Peaceful Wife is on the same level as the link. She isn’t into “games” and flow charts of when she / he does this….say this. do this.
People’s personalities are not peg boards, despite what everyone says.Despite what they Meyer-Briggs says. Despite what IQ says………..we have a cultural problem……the marriages inside the church that I see work well are the ones where both the husband and wife are striving to what Christ expects of them.
In the secular realm, the marriages that are working on the ones where there is a definitive morality of “right and wrong” and humility…..which are actually rooted in aspects of the Judean-Christian ethic. My parents had this.
You all can berate me on how wrong I am, fine. You can throw in the usual cheap hypotheticals of “why are you single then?” I can easily and counter with “why are you still dating? why is your wife a three? why are you still miserable?
Cheap shots as well. If you all want to defend Game as the end all be all of male / female relationships just like the Meyers-Briggs crowd defends “personality” as a cut cornerstone of who you are…..then defend it with concrete application.
A site called authentic manhood where women give out advice. Seems legit.
And what’s with number 7? Do people not shower? Is this aimed at the English?
If you disregard Dalrock’s advice and follow all Sheila’s steps, this is how I’m going to speak to you if we meet: https://i0.wp.com/fc02.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2010/016/a/8/Hello_Loser_by_HaloKitty10461.jpg
Oh great and marvelous vagina how awesome are your ways. You are not like men, your ways are higher than men’s. In your folds are hidden the mysteries of joy and lubrication. The fear of you is the beginning of wisdom, your joy is my joy. Oh how must I serve you to make you tingle? What sacrifice do you require? If I offer my labor, you do not tingle, if I offer my life you do not moisten. Shall chores please you? If I cut off my testicles and offer them to you, do you smile and with pleasure? What shall I bring, flowers, jewelry, tears, oh what can solve your inigma. Oh great one you are a paradox, only ask and it shall be given for you. Who can resist your blooming quiver, who would despise your gifts of moisture. Only ask and it will be yours, no one will stand against you.
Your headship servant leader and eunuch
Beta Max
[D: Hilarious!]
As an older man once told me, never ask a deer or fish what you need to do in order to catch it.
Jason,
“Good luck with that. In these situations, the only way a change happens is if the woman has conviction to change. Most married “religious” men who apply this will end up divorced.”
I applied what mjyunko is recommending. This worked for me. I slowly began to lead more strongly but also increased the teasing and the joking around. My wife loved it. She felt more secure and protected as I began to lead and dominate.
“After almost two decades of marriage, I’ve decided women’s sex drives are such a mishmash of competing elements that only God knows what’s really going on.”
But since she can’t publicly scream at and blame God for her cluelessness, the nearest man will have to suffice.
I too give props to Sheilah for admitting her (very obvious) cluelessness. Howe7ver, it chafes and galls to no end that she gets a “pussy pass” for this. Imagine a male astrophysicist writing a dissertation on a complex topic such as interstellar travel who admits up front “there is still so much that is unknown about this subject and even I don’t have an in-depth knowledge of everything. But I’m not going to let that stop me from laying out a fail-proof plan for a trip to Pluto.” Such a statement would get him laughed out of his profession and ruin his reputation permanently. Sheilah Gregoire, on the other hand, despite demonstrably knowing less than nothing about the subjects she lectures on, is an in-demand speaker.
What Anon says about women being lauded as “experts” in some field or topic despite their well-documented track records of miserable failure.
Mein Gott this is bad advice. Any “man” following this woman’s advice will get laid less, not more. And maybe divorced.
It would surprise me not at all if this was eventually revealed to be Sheilah-the-Christofeminist’s intended outcome all along.
…most couples / pairs dancing I have done the woman is like dragging a statue around on the floor. Her excuse is that I am not leading correctly. My answer is “you don’t want to be led”
Very likely the problem is usually that the clumsy beeyotch just can’t dance.
Bee
Great. I am glad the advice is working. So beforehand you didn’t follow this advice and yet got married, dated, the usual stuff.
What were you doing befoer you learned all of this? How did you get your wife to date you? Marry you?
My mother. My aunts. A few female friends I have NEVER have behaved like this with their men or husbands.
Ditto my experience as well. I don’t know how many times my 84-year-old mother has remarked to me “I can’t BELIEVE the way these women talk to and talk about their husbands!* I would never have even DREAMED of talking to or about your father that way!”
(* She’s usually referring to “Christian” women she knows – more than a few of them, disturbingly, in her own age group.)
Feeriker
Probably a hint of truth in your statement. I forgive myself and folks in a dance class, or practicing. That’s how I got good. Practicing at home did it for me in the end. I am still not as strong in dancing in pairs as I could be. Part of that is the fact women don’t want to dance in pairs unless the guy looks like the lead from a Hallmark Channel movie………..that aside
It’s funny actually in dancing…and I’ll talk ballroom or swing in this case………it mirrors the culture. Women don’t want to be led. She decides if said guy is worthy enough to lead her. It’s based on looks in a classroom setting and then when “sophisticated Go-Go guy” don’t show up, the excuse that is deflected upon is “men don’t want to lead / don’t want to dance / don’t want to learn anything”
“Dancings alright” as Smokey Robinson once said casually in a song and it is. It’s a great way to exercise. It’;s a great way to just let go, and I learned that if a woman doesn’t want to be led on a dance floor or in a class for pete’s sake……she isn’t gonna want to be led in a dating relationship, marriage, sex, or any other of the forked-clarinets the guy has to play.
No loss for me….but at times just a sigh and “what if” things were different
Pingback: Friday hawt chicks & links – The not my pope edition. – Adam Piggott
Anyway….leave you smart guys to handle things here. Have a great Easter. I’m working the whole weekend as usual 🙂
@seventiesjason
This is the challenge of the modern feminist woman. She craves to be led, but refuses to follow. The best way I can think of in a class setting to handle this would be to ignore her claim that men don’t lead, and respond with the frame that she needs help learning how to dance properly. Something like “Don’t worry, you’ll get the hang of it eventually.” Then have another woman model how it is done (with you leading). But that assumes you are either the instructor, or at least have another woman there who is somewhat on your side.
I’m not one for dancing, but the power of ballroom and related dancing is undeniable. Women love it because it scratches the itch that is harder and harder to scratch in our feminist culture. Note that women aren’t willing to reject the idea of men leading in this kind of formal dancing. At some level they understand, even while they rebel against individual men they deem not worthy of leading. There is a great parallel in ball room (and related) dancing and the methods horsemen use to prepare a horse to be ridden. Check out the videos of “lunging” a horse on youtube to see what I mean. The whole point of the exercise is to get the horse used to following your lead. It even uses a circular motion.
Adam is right. Americans are obsessed with taking a shower; I think i had one once. It is my thesis that this is why you have so much trouble with your women-folk. You are washing away natural male scent and it is that scent which turns women on.
Well said Dalrock. Good reply in theory. I could disagree on some aspects, but I won’t. All it will do is ignite the Gamers on here, throw gasoline on a volitile situation…….derail the thread and frankly I respect you too much to do that on purpose.
I actually have a modicum of expertise on this topic and I am still going to be told how “wrong” I am. Again, appreciate the reply and your solid take on it 🙂
Be a sexy doormat…
Whaddaya mean doormats aren’t sexy?!?!
Have you even tried being a sexy doormat?!?!
Well try harder!!!
@ Cane Caldo says:
March 30, 2018 at 10:43 am
“As well as under the unspoken context that the man is not, and never will be, sexy, and the woman always is; no matter how fat and ugly she gets.
So they don’t even mention be sexier.”
Careful. Talk like that will get you accused of being “obsessed with sexy” by some commenters around here.
@Dalrock – “The whole point of the Authentic Manhood program is to ensure that husbands don’t mistakenly take the bible’s instruction on headship and submission seriously.”
In the search window on their website enter “Leadership” – 3 pages of results
Enter “servant leadership” – 1 page with 6 items
Enter “headship” – 0 results
Enter “submission” – 1 result dealing with Joshua’s submission to God
“I’m not one for dancing, but the power of ballroom and related dancing is undeniable.” ~ Dalrock
Agreed. Every man should at least take some dance lessons, particularly swing and/or ballroom. I took a swing dancing class in college. The effect it has on women makes no sense, but it’s real.
It’s interesting that only Western culture developed styles of dancing in which men and women dance together, the man leads and the woman follows. I doubt that’s a coincidence.
Jason,
I met and married my wife over 20 years ago. This was before I was aware of the internet and thus I had no knowledge of marriage game or how to vett, what questions to ask, etc. My dad and my church did not teach me these things.
I met my wife at church. This church taught that married women should submit to their husbands; so I thought that would be a good place to find a wife. Although they believed this they did not talk about it frequently, maybe once every 3 or 4 years or so.
I observed that my wife had attended this church for a number of years and she served by participating in a number of church projects. From those two thing I thought she demonstrated perseverance and a willingness to help others. At some point I mailed her a greeting card and then followed up with a phone call and asked her out. She said yes and I moved the relationship along to engagement and marriage as fast as she was willing to go. I don’t believe that years of dating and long engagements are a good use of time.
I was very fortunate that my wife personally believed that she should be submissive to me and she also believed that she should respect me by speaking positively to me, and positively about me to others. Early on she lost some girlfriends because she would not participate in group discussions about how dumb and clueless their husbands are.
I have since learned that not all the women at our church believed and accepted that they should be submissive wives, even though they were taught this. Now I understand that just because she goes to your church does not mean she is good wife material; all women need vetted.
I only learned about game and marriage game about 6 years ago when I came across the “Dave from Hawaii” article on Agree & Amplify and Fitness Tests (Shit Tests). That was eye opening for me.
I did not know what I was doing, I am thankful to God that I found a good wife and that I had a good marriage.
I appreciate your comments and your participation here. All the best to you in whatever your future holds. I am praying for you.
Pingback: How to creep out your wife. | Reaction Times
Again……if a woman agrees to be partnered with you in class “it’s great” if not. You have to sit and “wait” and “watch” your 35, 40, 50 bux go down the drain. It doesn’t matter how good you are, or bad you are….she has the spark to be paired up at a dance lesson with you or not. Have witnessed plenty of women dance with other women in dance classes than to be paired up with one of the average joes in a class. Those deemed “attractive” and that is a subjective glass o wine……always get a “pass” from women. Truth.
Bee
So you had “it” before follwoing the advice. Thanks for your detailed reply. Very happy for you and your wife / family 🙂
Jason,
Nobody claimed it was fool proof. These are general rules, not 100% guarantees. For example, strength training doesn’t guarantee that women will like you, but it sure helps most men in that regard.
now we have general rules….
tell me what they are because I was never informed of them, and then made to look stupid because I don’t know them.
In the end you have to have the “it” that something women just like……..the real situation today is that fewer and fewer men have “it” and the “it” seems to be expanding into what one MUST have in order to have a woman maybe have a cup of coffee with you. Older guys it’s plain “creepy” trying every method and trying to lean something you were never told about or seems (on my end anyway) changes for every situation, nunace and woman.
You men would survive two minutes in this very surreal and backasswards world I live in.
“There is a great parallel in ball room (and related) dancing and the methods horsemen use to prepare a horse to be ridden. Check out the videos of “lunging” a horse on youtube to see what I mean. The whole point of the exercise is to get the horse used to following your lead. It even uses a circular motion.”
^ Rofl! I love it!
Jason
Good luck with that. In these situations, the only way a change happens is if the woman has conviction to change. Most married “religious” men who apply this will end up divorced.
In a marriage, it really takes both. It takes the man finding his testicles and spine. It takes the woman changing.
A big part of the reason “Game doesn’t work” in a marriage is because the wife is so intractable.
Two-year-old article by middle-aged 2nd stage feminist “marriage expert” confirms again the precept “Pay attention to what they do, not what they say”. Every Western man must constantly re-learn this lesson, and what some call “touch dancing” or “couples dancing” is both a fine example and an excellent method to learn the truth at a neuromuscular level.
@Dalrock, that video…well, once again an excerpt from this great work of art comes to mind:
Jason:
It worked for me and Mrs. deti. Lots of you know my story. In short, I essentially did the “find spine and testicles” by telling Mrs. deti I had had enough of her running the marriage and everyone around her into the ground, enough of her hyperemotional overreactions and inability to regulate herself, and that if it did not change, she would soon not be Mrs. deti anymore.
That, by itself, would not have worked. If she had continued on that path, our marriage would indeed have ended, and I would be paying lots of child support right now.
Mrs. deti took that as a wake-up call – “Hey, what you’re doing isn’t working, your husband isn’t happy, and you need to change things to fix this. He’s going to do his part; you have to do yours.”
So it takes him standing up for himself and putting a hard stop to her misbehavior and maltreatment, and her taking a look at, and making a conscious effort to change, her own behavior and responses.
The impending and narrowly-averted failure of my marriage was both my fault and hers: Mine for letting her lead, for not standing up for myself, for not putting down boundaries and guardrails, and for not having a vision. Hers for trying to lead and for her inability to control and regulate her emotions. And both of us for selecting each other for the wrong reasons (but that’s another story).
Game will work, but only with a responsive woman.
@ seventiesjason says:
March 30, 2018 at 1:53 pm
“now we have general rules….”
What do you mean, “now”? It’s been pretty clear that these are general rules, not absolutes.
“tell me what they are because I was never informed of them, and then made to look stupid because I don’t know them.”
You already know some of them, and many of them have been discussed here. In general women like men who are…
* Taller than they are (Dalrock already mentioned to you that this is a major one)
* Wealthier than they are (or at least have the potential to be)
* Stronger than they are
* Older than they are (usually 10 years or less, but again, that’s a general rule, not an absolute)
* Have deeper voices than they do
* Good dancers
* Dress blues are typically a big hit
There are others, but you probably get the picture. You probably already knew all that. Again, these are general rules, not absolutes, and nobody has to meet all of them to attract a woman. We all have strengths and weaknesses. In all areas of life, we’re supposed to maximize our strengths and work on our weaknesses.
“In the end you have to have the ‘it’ that something women just like……..the real situation today is that fewer and fewer men have ‘it’ and the ‘it’ seems to be expanding into what one MUST have in order to have a woman maybe have a cup of coffee with you. Older guys it’s plain ‘creepy’ trying every method and trying to lean something you were never told about or seems (on my end anyway) changes for every situation, nunace and woman.”
Yeah, life is complicated. Women are complicated. That’s why general rules are useful. Starting from basic principles simplifies things, but you have to keep in mind that they’re general rules, and adapt to the situation. The same is true in all areas of life – from business, to friendships, to war. You start from basic principles, then adapt.
One of those general rules is that if a man wants to be a husband and father, he should spend his teens and 20s preparing for marriage and fatherhood. You didn’t do that. Now, if you still want those things, you need to adapt to your current situation. Dalrock gave you some good advice in a previous thread. I encourage you to read it, if you haven’t already.
“You men would survive two minutes in this very surreal and backasswards world I live in.”
Maybe. I don’t envy your situation, and I empathize. Several men have given you really good advice here. Again, if you haven’t already done so, go back and read Dalrock’s advice.
Understanding women is like watching planets in the sky. They twist and loop in a seemingly random pattern. Red pill is like finding out that the sun is the center of the solar system. The behavior then becomes perfectly normal and predictable.
Most likely in the N.American protestant churches they were taught that they should claim to be in submission, but only be in submission where and when they choose. After all they don’t want to be a “doormat” and their husband can’t force them, which is defined by using any force including: verbal, psychological, spiritual, economic or physical. (See Duluth) The sisterhood deplores “doormat” submission, it not like Jesus allowed Himself to submit to the Father when He found it unpleasant and didn’t want to. (Oh the irony of posting this on Good Friday). The greater sin they are taught is being too submissive and not reaching for a gal’s full potential and independence. Any man who does not support these virtues is not worthy of submission and can sleep on the couch until he repents and does what she says. Then she has achieved her submissive frame, because her servant-leader leads her where ever she pull his reigns. From time to time she may have to give him the spurs, but that is just her submission with a point helping him to be the servant-leader she and God needs him to be. In extreme cases she can embody submission by filling for divorce, so that she is free to find a man to submit to, one who know what she needs.
Gloria Allred withdrew herself as legal council in a rape case against the President. I guess what it goes to show, if you are an expensive lawyer and you KNOW you have a losing case, AND you can’t negotiate a deal because the defendant is smart and patient, you leave.
Wel I guess you showed me Oscar.
btw…………..most married men secular or sacred didn’t prepare in their teens and 20’s to be a “good husband and father” that did make me laugh. Dalrock gave me good advice? Really? I checked the previous threads…all I saw was to become like that guy Zyyyy or whatever his name was and to just do and say excatly what women want by that Marquess poster.
Look, what I am trying to convey isn’t working….or being misunderstood………I feel like a character in a bad ‘french comedy’ (mon dieu!) or like Sonny Bono on the infamous “Sonny & Cher Show” from the 1970’s where the joke somehow is always on me 😉
They way I am being understood seems to be like me talking about a movie about “frogs” but its starring “clams” instead. I suppose that’s my fault.
seventiesjason
now we have general rules….
Yes, and the first one is “Do not make any woman the center of your life”. This applies to any man regardless of age, race, religion, etc. It’s axiomatic in the androsphere: “Make your mission central”, whatever “mission” means to any given man — just not “make her happy” as a mission.
tell me what they are because I was never informed of them, and then made to look stupid because I don’t know them.
It’s worse than that. You and all the rest of us were told “rules” that are false, such as “Just be yourself!”. Gregoire’s list from 2016 in the OP is just more of the same. Scott mentioned a few threads back that sometimes in his marriage he has to rationally do the exact opposite of what he feels he should do. This is him pushing back against the Female Imperative programming we all have been saturated with.
Postscript: anger is a normal part of the unplugging, but don’t get stuck in it.
@Seventiesjason – Get an arranged marriage from overseas. You need to do something quick, or else you’ll be in this limbo state until death. You don’t have to be this way. Even if it doesn’t work out, you’ll still have the experience of a woman if that is what you want.
Otherwise, there is no one here who can help you anymore. Good luck and Happy Easter.
Damn Cracker….
yeah…you’re probably right
“There is a great parallel in ball room (and related) dancing and the methods horsemen use to prepare a horse to be ridden. Check out the videos of “lunging” a horse on youtube to see what I mean. The whole point of the exercise is to get the horse used to following your lead. It even uses a circular motion.”
I’m sure that some wag somewhere who is even more cynical than yours truly has already said this, but given a choice, most men would almost certainly prefer to invest their time, energy, and risk tolerance in breaking in a horse than breaking in a woman. The injuries caused by a wild horse are less severe over the long term than those caused by a rebellious woman and the horse, whether a workhorse or a racehorse, will at least provide a return on the time, effort, money, and risk invested in breaking it (thus earning its keep), unlike the typical rebellious woman.
@ seventiesjason says:
March 30, 2018 at 3:11 pm
“Wel I guess you showed me Oscar.”
Showed you what?
“btw…………..most married men secular or sacred didn’t prepare in their teens and 20’s to be a ‘good husband and father’ that did make me laugh.”
The word “most” does not appear in what I wrote, so I don’t know where you got that.
“Dalrock gave me good advice? Really? I checked the previous threads…all I saw was to become like that guy Zyyyy or whatever his name was and to just do and say excatly what women want by that Marquess poster.”
It’s right here.
https://dalrock.wordpress.com/2018/03/16/why-game-is-a-threat-to-our-values/#comment-262615
And there’s nothing about anyone named “Zyyyy”, or whatever his name is.
“Look, what I am trying to convey isn’t working….or being misunderstood”
No. You keep misunderstanding others’ advice, because you keep reading things into others’ writing that aren’t there. For example, your comment “Well I guess you showed me Oscar”, assumes bad intentions that aren’t there. I also never stated that “most men prepare for marriage and fatherhood”, nor did Dalrock advise you to “do and say exactly what women want”.
It would help if you would stop assuming everyone is out to get you and actually read what they wrote.
My critique of these points, for what is worth.
1. Compliments are tricky, sorry guys. I like them from Scott, but I REALLY like them when I am fishing for them. For example, I will wear my hair in a way he likes, or faded jeans with cowboy boots, or some other thing I know drives him crazy. If he says something, I get really excited. Like I won a contest. If he just walked around complimenting me on stuff all the time, I would think something was wrong.
2. Nope. In fact, I don’t think I could articulate what it would be like for a male friend to touch me in a way that was just friends. Maybe shaking hands? Maybe a “high arm” hug? (Not around my waist). There is never a time when my husband touches me (even if he just brushes by me and lightly touches my forearm) that doesn’t have chemistry element to it. It just doesn’t exist. I cannot receive touches from him like a friend. I don’t know how and it would be weird. We aren’t friends, we are more than that.
3. Don’t help out around the house to get some later. Do it because you see something that needs to be done. The help is nice, but not related to sex at all.
4. Yikes. Ew. Sometimes Scott asks me how my day was, or if anything exciting happened, or whatever. But if you want something else from your wife, better to just be direct.
5. Conversations like this only work to improve an already scorching hot love life. Don’t try to get your wife to explain what ISN’T working. You have tried all that, so try something else. Start with less talking.
6. Titilation, as Dalrock notes comes in different forms for men and women. Probably a good idea to stay away from it either way.
7. Sometimes when I am sitting on the couch knitting and I look outside at my sweaty, dirty husband hacking down a tree with power equipment or pounding fence posts into the ground, well. Yes, being clean is nice, but the showering thing kind of needs context.
8. I hope no man ever has to resign himself to get used to a wife who requires him to run this stupid gauntlet just to get the relaxing, stress relieving physical contact he needs from his wife, but I don’t have a lot of hope.
So, in the end I give this advice usefulness score of about 2/10. Hope that helps.
Oscar.
Dalrock’s advice: move to another country / make more money / move to another part of the USA
Sure…..I’ll just pack up and move to El Salvador, Belize, Nigeria and figure it out. Easy. Move to another part of the USA? Where “the south”? Where every woman is a devout Christian? Make more money to support a family……..
I am sure all of you make more than enough money to support a wife and middle / calss to upper middle class living…..and I am sure you all did while dating too! I am sure your wives and girlfriends never worked either when you were younger.
There was a poster named Marquess who told me to do what women wanted. There was another poster who told me to do steroids and have surgurey………..but looks don’t matter……..
You stated:
“One of those general rules is that if a man wants to be a husband and father, he should spend his teens and 20s preparing for marriage and fatherhood. You didn’t do that.”
True “most” doesn’t appear in yoiur post. My bad.
I have read what they wrote…..and people are not out to get me…..I never stated THAT.
Take a lesson 😉
She probably has no clue since she doesn’t submit to her husband.
@ seventiesjason says:
March 30, 2018 at 3:54 pm
Did you read Dalrock’s offer to correspond with your directly? How about taking him up on it for more specific advice? Dalrock’s general advice was solid, and you’re not doing yourself any favors by dismissing it.
“Dalrock’s advice: move to another country / make more money / move to another part of the USA
Sure…..I’ll just pack up and move to El Salvador, Belize, Nigeria and figure it out. Easy.”
No one said it would be easy. Once again, you’re reading what isn’t there.
“Move to another part of the USA? Where ‘the south’? Where every woman is a devout Christian? Make more money to support a family”
First of all, pretty much anywhere in the US has a lower cost of living than California, so take your pick. Second, no on said that there is any place in the US where “every woman is a devout Christian”. Once again, you’re reading what isn’t there. You could read Dalrock’s advice on how to vet a wife. Start here.
https://dalrock.wordpress.com/2010/07/09/interviewing-a-perspective-wife-part-i-should-you-open-a-position/
“I am sure all of you make more than enough money to support a wife and middle / calss to upper middle class living…..and I am sure you all did while dating too! I am sure your wives and girlfriends never worked either when you were younger.”
I support a wife and nine children, but then, I had a BS in mechanical engineering, and was a commissioned officer before we got married. Then I got an MS in geological engineering before leaving active duty. And no, my wife hasn’t worked since she moved to Germany with me after my first combat tour. See what I mean about preparing in your teens and 20s?
Obviously you can’t go back in time and do that, so, like I said, you have to adjust. For example, you’ll probably need to look for a woman who doesn’t expect an upper middle class living.
“There was a poster named Marquess who told me to do what women wanted. There was another poster who told me to do steroids and have surgurey………..but looks don’t matter……..”
And I didn’t point you to their advice. I pointed you to Dalrock’s, which had none of that.
“I have read what they wrote…..and people are not out to get me…..I never stated THAT.
Take a lesson 😉”
Go back and read your own writing. Do statements like “I guess you showed me Oscar” appear defensive to you? Where does that defensiveness come from?
No. My comment wasn’t defensive…..and I didn’t think it was. It wasn’t a defensive statement. I asked about these “gerneral rules”
You replied and gave me a bunch.
I guess you showed me.
Take it down 1000
@ seventiesjason says:
March 30, 2018 at 4:22 pm
“Take it down 1000”
That’s another defensive statement. As others have pointed out, your defensiveness is probably the first thing you need to work on.
@Oscar, you have nine kids??? That is most excellent. Congratulations.
Okay Oscar……….you do need to relax………it’s super hard to convey inflection, humor and introspection on a medium like this, and I don’t personally know you.
But really……if you think that is a defensive statement…….well, okay….for the sake of just some peace. I’ll agree it was.
OT: Two professors are warning in a new book that TV shows like The Big Bang Theory are emblematic of a worrying trend they call “toxic geek masculinity.”
“Though computer geeks are often depicted as marginalized due to their social exclusion, Blodgett and Salter argue that the opposite is actually true, asserting that geeks are aligned ‘with a type of toxic straight white masculinity that is rooted deeply in current cultural struggles’.”
https://www.campusreform.org/?ID=10714
All those Asian dudes in the tech fields are just brimming with “toxic straight white masculinity”.
Red Pill Coaching for raising your SMV.
I have no idea how good or bad this guy is. I am not recommending this service.
https://www.smv4k.com/
Jason,
I write this sincerely. Dalrock’s blog is a treasure trove of good advice for men, both single and married. Dalrock has a gift for this stuff that I don’t. Take him up on his offer to correspond directly.
anonymous_ng,
Thanks. We kind of cheated, though. We adopted five.
Oscar. I will have to decline that. I am only going to be wasting his time in the end.
I’m in a rough way right now……..I where I work and live (a Salvation Army run facility for low income senior citizens) gently “ordered” me that I had to work the whole weekend as the staff on duty. I have worked the past five Christmas holdays. The past six Thanksgiving holidays. I even returned from my backpacking trek in June on July 1st and had to work the whole four day holiday weekend. I have worked Easter / Good Friday since 2011.
I am always told “but I have children” and “you’ll understand when God brings you a wife someday” or “i have relatives coming from out of town with their kids”
The mission statement for employees here is: Family first
I don’t have one. Therefore I am the guy who always has to work on holiday weekends. I take it in stride as a “good soldier should” but I am feeling like a chump more and more. I speak up? Ignored, or “you-just-don’t-understand” platitudes slapped back at me. What it is really is that I am a pushover. I stand up…I’m defensive and not a team player or ughhhhh “not being the man god expects me to be”
Even on Maudy Thursday service at The Corps. I was OFF. I wanted some time and peace in Holiness. Some fellowship. I walked in……………………………the Corps Srgt Major immediately told me “Oh brother, praise God you are here…….we have the childrens room ready……….go in and report for duty. We all agreed that you would work with the children.”
I smirked. I was immediately told I was “being defensive” and that “you have a such a heart and gift working with the little ones” (yeah……a gift…..but somehow not allowed to be a father…..just never ‘good’ enough (hot enough) though to be one.
So there I was with fifteen children from infancy to about ten. Look, I did a fine job. The kids in my Corps do like me. Agreed, I’m good……
But the decision was made because I am “the single guy” and somehow if I voice my needs or wants……..it’s the usual.
Look. No hard feelings likes. Sorry if I upset you. I am quitting this job on Monday, and I have a lot on my mind……….and sure, I have some savings. I am going to have to find a new church. I am going to have to hustle on the “free market” while I try to find a job.
Look, Dalrocks advice won’t help me. It won’t. I don’t waste peoples time.
I am happy to say that on this Sunday, da GBFM will be leading the Church choir.
Here is our rehearsal:
See you there in your Easter bonet!
lzozzozlzol
Jason,
Since you’re resigning your Soldiership anyway (which seems like a good decision, given what you wrote in an earlier thread), right now seems like the perfect time to start working on the advice Dalrock gave you. But, hey, it’s up to you, man. Good luck in whatever direction you choose.
Thanks. I lived 8 months overseas in the thrid world (India) when I was at IBM. Not doing that again. I am not going to do stuff “extreme” while no body else ever had to do that. They asked women out. They said yes. They dated. They asked women out. They dated. They vetted and married.
Simple.
These “exceptions” seem to only apply to me and personally, I am being setup to be the “chump” again and have “the rest of you” all “tsk, tsk, tsk” me for not doing right, or the wrong way……
I won’t rule out moving to another state…….though I shouldn’t have to. I will need more than luck at this point. Prayer would be better
‘Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.’
Shelia: Husbands submit to your wives…although I still don’t know what the switch is.
Jason,
I am not sure which specific advice this was, but I doubt that many of the things he has posted would have no value to you.
You are going to have to get over your resentment, definitely watching the a root of bitterness doesn’t arise and defile your life.
I am not facing your struggle, but I have my own really rough roller coaster to walk now (it is still rough). The only way to both make it and progress is to firmly develop your relationship with Him. That won’t magically make all the stress and other things vanish, but it is all you have to rely on. You will need to step up and master your situation if you want to accomplish what He desires for you.
This is tough, but is necessary if He really is your Lord. I speak that from current experience.
You will also have to first recognize your tendency to get very defensive. That is clear from your posts here. You can only succeed when you learn, acknowledge and then master your own weaknesses. You will have a hard time receiving input from anyone know, and others are one of the key ways God brings correction in our lives. Making sure it is the right others is important, but even fools like me can have valuable things to say at times.
I’ve heard plenty of jokes that men don’t get an owner’s manual with women. What about Scripture? Who created women in the first place and who would know how they operate best? (Hint: it’s not women themselves).
Why is it when I disagree “i’m defensive” 😉
When others disgree they are “standing up for themselves” double standard much? 🙂
Mychel’s comment raises a point that I do have with what some push about women “dressing like men.” Scott appears to like her in jeans, though that would be dressing like men for some who comment here. I don’t buy it. Few clothes are one sex or the other in and of themselves.
A woman can dress to look masculine, but can wear the same general clothes and be quite feminine and quite attractive. Even a dress can be used by a male in an appropriate manner. I would not consider the Scotsman on Samurai Jack to be feminine.
I do think many women would look much better in dresses and skirts, but that is not a Biblical requirement from anything I can read.
I don’t mean to raise this up too much, I just saw it when reading Mychel’s reply.
Jason,
Why do you post your trials and troubles here if you don’t want input? Should we all just pat you on your back and agree, “yeah it sucks to be you”?
Not getting a wife is not the worst thing in the world. Imagine having one for almost 30 years and then having her walk out. I could pile up the “woe is me” stuff if you really want. You have a better figure than I, am outside the age range to likely find any faithful woman and stuck with very little family. But I don’t sit around whining about it. I may get very stressed once in a while and loneliness is a big thing, but so what? I am going to be another week older next week whether I whine or not.
So stop acting like the world needs to stop and revolve around you. Stop reading and replying if you really don’t want input. Ignore the input you don’t want/like if you want to stay, but don’t bother if you are going to reject it all.
Jason,
You really can’t see your defensiveness?
The competing elements are wanting control and submitting to their husband. Picking one route leads to her being alone…the other leads to finding that ‘switch’.
None of you can see your holiner than attitude here?
And as much as men are shamed for not ‘getting it’…why aren’t women getting the same pushback for not ‘getting it’?
What I’ve noticed is some men get shamed for being single because they don’t worship the holy vagina…why don’t women get shamed for being single because they worship controlling and making men submit?
@SeventiesJason, it’s got to be difficult to find that the institution you’ve given so much time to has moved out from underneath you. My ex decided we were getting divorced. I wonder if it’s not similar.
………….and Billy I can’t imagine that…..having a wife walk out after 30 years of marriage. I can’t. Now, if I gave you advice about why, or what happened…or what you did or didn’t do about this…wouldn’t you be just a “tad” peeved at me? Would you perhaps tell me I don’t have a clue?
Yeah you would. That’s what I have been getting here.
As for trusting Him? Calling Him lord of my life. I am freaking leaving Soldiership on Monday and puttin in a notice for quitting this job…………a bit of trust I know I am giving Him.
why don’t women get shamed for being single because they worship controlling and making men submit?
It depends on who is doing the shaming. If you or I did it, it would go right in one of their ears and out of the other. If Brad Pitt, George Clooney, or Leo DiCaprio (or Chad Thundercock or Fuckbuddy Rockdrummer) did it, then maybe they’d inclined to listen.
are these people really saved?
I always wonder
so many feminists claim God has saved them and changed their lives.
christians like us who are bible based are dying out….
maybe God has changed, he changed his view in the bible, maybe God is a feminist now.
When I was a university student over 15 years ago, I had a roommate who was an alpha jock (I used to live in Toronto). All he had to do if he wanted to get laid was call one of his fuck buddies and then go to her place. Whenever he called, his women would be ready. If they weren’t ready, then they’d make the time. Women will cross the seas and climb mountains to sleep with the men they want to sleep with.
If Sheila and other women say that they don’t understand their attraction triggers, they are full of crap. I’m starting to get the impression that the vast majority of women aren’t attracted to their husbands and never will be. They simply married them to get their status as wife and mother and the right to preface every statement with: “Speaking as a wife and mother…” (even if she may be a lousy wife and equally garbage mother). I’m always amazed at how selfish women can be while simultaneously playing the victim.
@ Dota
Self-awareness is not their strong suit. That’s why you have to observe what they do, not listen to what they say.
1 Co 7:28 But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.
OT: Careful out there, gamers!
It’s Official: A British Man Has Contracted The First Case of Untreatable ‘Super-Gonorrhea’
“The man is reported to have visited a clinic earlier this year, and was given a combination of two antibiotics, azithromycin and ceftriaxone, that was known to be effective in getting rid of the disease.
After the cocktail failed to wipe out the infection, the patient is now being treated with injections of a stronger antibiotic called ertapenem and will be tested again next month, PHE said in a report.
As reported by The Guardian, the UK government agency Public Health England (PHE) revealed that the patient who caught the highly resistant strain had a female partner in the country, but might have been infected during a trip in Southeast Asia.”
https://www.sciencealert.com/it-s-official-a-british-man-has-contracted-the-first-case-of-untreatable-super-gonorrhea
I’m starting to get the impression that the vast majority of women aren’t attracted to their husbands and never will be.
If by attraction you mean the all-consuming lust you describe women having towards alphas, you would be right. That’s always been the case throughout history. But women used to understand it was their duty, their job, to give their husbands sex even if they weren’t really feeling like it themselves.
Although if you look at English language advice columns from the Islamic world, you’ll see that even there, where this expectation mostly still exists, women have a lot of trouble with this responsibility of providing sex to their husband.
BillyS
Its actually a good question, especially in the traditionlist-o-sphere. This video is precisely the look she is talking about.
She takes this pony-tail-with-baseball-cap and faded blue jeans look right from my cues. She knows its what I prefer. MOST of the time, in public is longish skirts and dresses, but if we are headed out to the feed store, or she comes out to help with something around the farm, she tries really hard to be utilitarian AND cute. I think its a context thing.
In Orthodox circles its not uncommon to see women in “pencil” dresses and skirts with super high spikey heels and a head scarf. Kind of defeats the purpose, it seems.
@Jason, pain sucks and you’re obviously feeling emotional pain and acting out in your posting as a result. I’ve seen good results from people experiencing emotional pain occur when they go through self-help recovery groups and this includes those not addicted to anything whatsoever.
The reason for the latter group has to do with both the companionship they find from others in such groups but also the principles for living such groups teach and encourage.
Celebrate Recovery, AA, etc… You’re a great person from what I see but you’re feeling pain inside and demonstrating some personality disorderedness as a result, which is common with emotional pain.
Take the bull by the horns my friend and try two meetings (all kinds) a week over the next couple of years. I believe it will help with this in a good way, but then it’s “self-help” so up to you to attend. No one can do that for you.
This thread is strong confirmation of my decision not to get into the counseling field.
Been in NA for over a decade. It does what it says. Helps me stay away from using narcotics. It also helps others when they see a man like myself with over 13 years of being clean……seeing firsthand that life indeed goes on. It’s a good program. Other than that, it doesn’t help with anything else. Thank you though.
Celbrate Recovery is a co-dependancy group where people never get better and sing bad christian music for the first hour. No thanks. Attended a few of them. NA helped me DEAL. CR enables.
Truth is this: I need to get back into the mountains. Hiking. Camping. I have a week cleared in June with a Scoutmaster I know. We met when I was leading my Boy Scout Troop at a Camporee….we hit it off pretty well. He’s a pompus jerk, but I’ve camped with him before, he knows how to behave in the woods…….ie he can sit on a vista of a gorgeous mountain for hours without saying a word to you. I like that kind of person to camp / hike with. We hiked Madera Peak (around 9,000 feet) two years ago…took four days off.
We’re gonna hike up and aroud the Carson Iceberg Wilderness Area in June (Alpine COunty, California). So looking forward to it 😉
so Chore play does not work?
then why do so many pastors swear by it?
http://madetofish.com/page/sermons
I listened to this guys sermon on marriage
nothing about the wife
all about the husband
he YELLED at husbands for not vacuuming and cooking dinner
for not supporting their careers
the same guy is in charge of replying to comments on this website
so I questioned him
he claims that Patriarchy is evil, men lead by serving and that means he cooks and cares for the kids so his wife can teach….
https://rickthomas.net/can-a-christian-divorce-another-christian-for-abuse/
IGNORING YOUR WIFE/ not listening to her is now abuse….
and is a legitimate reason for divorce….
what?!!!!
obviously this theology works for them?
men always threatened with divorce
men doing choreplay
wives happy to have submissive leading husband (wtf?!!)
it is almost like these Christians
call wives the helpers
call husbands the leaders
say they have distinct roles
but in actual practice it means nothing.
They’ve dropped the Christianity but just kept the label. It’s worthless. They’re worse than a pagan.
@Jim
even though they proclaim the Gospel?
this was his reply
“As far as Titus 2:4-5, the instructions were appropriate for the young wives in Crete at that time, (context) yet these instructions do not define these women, or women in general. None of the biblical authors attempt to define “womanhood”. Rather, the Bible shows that some women, even in ancient times, were involved in all kinds of ventures, ministries, and roles.”
“New Testament women such as Priscilla, Lydia, and Phoebe worked, travelled and had influential leadership roles in ministry. Paul did not identify these women primarily by their family relationships or their domestic situations. Instead they are described and identified by their work, their travels, and their ministries.”
he claims wives are helpers but there is no difference in what a man does or what a woman does or how they live or what they aim
men serve by supporting the wive and only then does his wife want to help him…
basically it is egalitarian
Why have Christian changed?
It used to be men loved their families by leading, protecting, teaching.
even the bible does not use serving
where does this serving and role reversal come from?
also
Why do they want to control and domesticate men?
what is the rational reason behind Christians and feminists having the same end goal?
@ CSI
Although if you look at English language advice columns from the Islamic world, you’ll see that even there, where this expectation mostly still exists, women have a lot of trouble with this responsibility of providing sex to their husband.
True. But the difference is that in the Islamic world, if a woman divorces her husband she gets nothing. No money, no freebies from the state, nothing. This compels Muslim women to undertake the herculean task of engaging the adductor muscles in their thighs to open their legs for their husbands. When I lived in Dubai, I did notice a lot of prostitution and also noticed that a lot of married men engaged in it. This makes the Arab world similar (atleast in this regard) to ancient Greece where men had sex with their wives with the sole purpose of producing an heir; whereas sex with prostitutes was for pure pleasure. This arrangement is a win-win in my opinion as women are relieved of the duty of having sex with the husbands whom they secretly loathe, and men can have sex with women who are younger and hotter than their wives. Perhaps this is why the Bible defines adultery as sleeping with married women and not necessarily as sex out of wedlock (which is the conventional definition today). This arrangement has merit, but I’m not sure how it would work out on a society wide scale. It sounds like an interesting experiment though.
(I hate it when my comments don’t go through)
@ CSI
Although if you look at English language advice columns from the Islamic world, you’ll see that even there, where this expectation mostly still exists, women have a lot of trouble with this responsibility of providing sex to their husband.
True. But the difference is that in the Islamic world, if a woman divorces her husband she gets nothing. No money, no freebies from the state, nothing. This compels Muslim women to undertake the herculean task of engaging the adductor muscles in their thighs to open their legs for their husbands. When I lived in Dubai, I did notice a lot of prostitution and also noticed that a lot of married men engaged in it. This makes the Arab world similar (atleast in this regard) to ancient Greece where men had sex with their wives with the sole purpose of producing an heir; whereas sex with prostitutes was for pure pleasure. This arrangement is a win-win in my opinion as women are relieved of the duty of having sex with the husbands whom they secretly loathe, and men can have sex with women who are younger and hotter than their wives. Perhaps this is why the Bible defines adultery as sleeping with married women and not necessarily as sex out of wedlock (which is the conventional definition today). This arrangement has merit, but I’m not sure how it would work out on a society wide scale. It sounds like an interesting experiment though.
“I’m starting to get the impression that the vast majority of women aren’t attracted to their husbands never have been, and never will be.”
FIFY
Reminds me of the post on Scott’s American Dad blog titled “She Does Exist.”
@Jason: Acknowledged. However, I’m standing by my statement to try different types of meetings in addition to your NA meetings. And I just got back from Friday night Easter communion service at one of the local churches here. Peace :).
I’m so glad I don’t have to worry about this crap any more.
Let me put it another way…women are often attracted to sin because they think it gives them some ‘power’. Even though if you know the truth it is God who gives us the power. (sidenote men are attracted to sin as well but I’m putting this in the context of why women may not be attracted to their husbands)
Submitting to the husband is seen as ‘icky’ or bad feelz to women but that’s how God set things up in marriage. Being the authority in the marriage or submitting to a strange ‘alpha’ male outside of marriage is seen as empowering to women even though it’s sinful.
Money, power, and/or sex
@bdash77
”even though they proclaim the Gospel?”
Matthew 7:21-23
”21Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of My Father in heaven. 22Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’ 23Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you workers of lawlessness”
so if Christians support feminism or tell men to lead their wives by doing housework and supporting their career, it is fair to assume they are not Christian?
Why do they want to control and domesticate men?
what is the rational reason behind Christians and feminists having the same end goal?
The truth will set you free. The “father of lies” is behind this deception.
Satan says: Go against God, You will not die.
Satan wants to enslave men and women.
Next thing, Satan will be claiming there is no Hell.
The churches are full of satanic false teaching. Thus the horrible decline in morality, and the inability of the phonies to be taken seriously by our culture. I’m still waiting to hear where the true church is, so I can attend.
@bdash77:
The blanket, generic answer to all of your questions upthread is “because of the culture.”
right
but the Pastors claim the bible says nothing about men working and women supporting men and running the home, so they say it has nothing to do with culture but service…
what is the best way to rebut this new “male service” argument that basically eliminates male authority and distinction between men and women?
@Sharkly
so these Christians are actually satanic?
How about simply telling her, before you marry her, that once you are married, you expect her to have sex with you at any time, anywhere, and anyhow you want, provided God’s laws are not broken, and both of you are healthy enough to do so? That under no circumstances do you expect sex to be rationed to you as a married couple—even if you have a fight, a quarrel, or a disagreement? That you expect disagreements to be resolved, sometimes through sex?
I first heard this from my eldest brother (he was a really bad boy), and I have said it to every woman I have ever seriously dated, and not one has ever objected. Not one. They might giggle, or shake their heads (with a faint smile), or ask me if I could handle all that sex, or pretend to be surprised by opening their mouths, of flat out say I was crazy. But not one has ever said they wouldn’t comply.
Women like to negotiate when they’re dealing with men. The trouble is, they don’t tell you they’re negotiating; they make it look like they’re giving you a rule to follow. It is better to simply tell them what you expect, and ignore their puny little rules.
Incidentally, women feel more desirable when their men become sexually aggressive towards them.
I’m still waiting to hear where the true church is, so I can attend.
I haven’t found it yet either, but I can tell you where it most definitely is not: inside any building owned by an organization that advertises itself as a church, has official tax-exempt status and a full-time salaried “leader,” meets once per week on Sundays to sing, listen to a lecture, and do nothing else the rest of the week; and that is patronized by people who, six and three-quarter days out of the week, talk and behave in a manner absolutely indistinguishable from people who wouldn’t be caught in a church as a corpse.
□i>so these Christians are actually satanic?
By their words and actions (i.e., preaching and demanding the practice of egalitarianism, which corrupts/inverts God’s assigned roles for the sexes) they are serving Satan’s agenda.
All of these things on the list have to do with lost attraction. That’s for another comment.
Gregoire’s hunny-doo list for men is actually a pretty good list for wives. Let’s look at it.
1. Compliment him. It is trivial to find examples in real life and on the net of women tearing down their husbands. They do it in hen groups, and eventually do it to his face, in private, often in a passive-aggressive fashion. Deliberately, willfully complimenting a man will help him to feel respected.
2. Touch him like a friend Men get starved for touch. The Love Languages book lists touch as one of the languages. A divorced man I know of once observed that the loneliest time in his life was lying in bed next to a woman who refused to touch him and had essentially prohibited him from touching her. Withholding touch can be the first step to withholding sex.
3. Choreplay Quit expecting him to be your maid or your roommate.
4. Become his best girlfriend Says it all, really.
5. Conduct a sex survey on your husband At some point in the past, dearie, you knew what he liked. Expand it. Go buy some lingerie, if that’s what he likes. Etc.
6. Stop using porn Yes, women use porn. Lots of them. Because of the equalitarian “women are just like men except for boobs and babies” lie that we’ve been sold, “porn” is defined as “visual”: videos. Men are visual. Women are…verbal. So what form does their porn take? Go to any chain bookstore and look for the “women’s porn” section, it will be labeled “Romance”. That’s for older women, over 35. Younger women have their porn on phones or other e-readers and they get it from Amazon, Goodreads, etc. via download. Quite a bit of that is overtly porno, not just situational “Lord Rod carried helpless Gwendolin off to his mansion”, by the way. Dial back on the porn-text and put that energy into whats-his-name.
7. Take a shower together.
8. Get used to him again. The old saying goes thus:
“A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does;
A woman marries a man expecting that he will change, but he doesn’t”.
He was good enough for you when you were first “dating”, when you were engaged, when you were first married…so what changed?
Women always project.
https://www.nathanjamesnorman.com/blog/an-open-letter-to-frank-l-page
apparently if a younger junior woman agrees to have sex with an older powerful man it is not just adultery, it is abuse….
.
what?!!
Point 8 reminds me of an old joke:
A man and his wife are driving in the pickup truck to town. Close to town they get behind another pickup truck, with man driving and the woman sitting right next to him. The wife sighs a little and says wistfully, “Remember when we used to drive in this truck like that?”.
The man replies: “Yep. I ain’t moved.”
This is delusional as it is naive. Women will agree beforehand to get you to lower your guard and renege once they no longer feel the tingle. It’s built into the pie. The current marriage and divorce laws assume that women cannot negotiate in good faith and that the law must step in to help them when they get in over their heads. Take divorce laws and prenuptial agreements for example.. not worth the paper they are printed on. The courts merely discard them and the same willful disregard that will happen to your supposed ‘agreement’ on sex.
Their puny little rules are backed up by government apparatus and a court system licking its lips waiting to take down men like you. Remember, Christian headship, real Christian headship the likes of which are talked about here are considered real and actionable abuse by the system. Your wife complains and you’re done, no ifs or buts. You plead any of the stuff you mention here as a reason or excuse and your punishment will be tenfold that of a mere physically abusive male.
The system has made the woman’s vagina the determiner of good and bad. You keep the vagina tingling and you’re fine, for a time at least..
Women want a man and they want to be the man.
Don’t worry, you’re not alone in noticing this. However, I do think many are trying to get through to you in good faith but perhaps you’ve all gotten started on the wrong foot and need to step back a bit.
My advice Jason… for what it’s worth. When I first read your posts on this blog, I noticed that you were generally happy and in good spirits when you were busy in the hiking, helping other people and spending time with your father. As soon as you delve into women, relationships and family, your humour changes. You wallow in self-pity. Don’t do that.
I get it though, we all grew up wanting a family, to carry on like our parents before us and to live our lives in the mists of a family that cares about us and wants what is best for us. I know this all too well.
Alas, my friend, there was a time for that and I think it has passed. There is no point in putting yourself constantly through the agony of wondering ‘what if’. The women that you could possible get to marry you would be the exact ones most likely to put you through hell at this point. Imagine what hell you would be in married to one… Far worse than anything you can possibly think of in your current life set-up..
The good ones require a multitude of status symbols, both social and economical, to get them to notice you. Building these take time, time you don’t have. That ship has sailed.
Live your life on your terms. Let the men like Dalrock, Oscar, Dave and others worry about the mess that they will have to clean up. Men like you and I, we don’t have to worry about stuff like that, we’ve been deemed socially irrelevant. Rejoice. Take the time left in your life and enjoy living it. Spread God’s word as far as you can, let him work through you. The struggles are half the point of life, learn to shrug them off and continue.
I have to say
Russia impresses me more and more day by day
http://abcnews.go.com/International/putin-spokesman-harvey-weinstein-accusers-prostitutes/story?id=54125808
@Anonymous Reader
Behavioral cross-dressing. One of the most insidious and destructive lies from the pits of hell. Claiming to be masculinity but in reality describing femininity. Claiming to be femininity but in reality describing masculinity.
I will go even as far as to say that behavioral cross-dressings is probably why transsexualism is on the rise.
Behaviour precedes physical manifestation.
@info
is behavioural cross dressing effeminacy?
which means they won’t inherit the kingdom of God
aka Pastors like Matt Chandler etc who need to ask permission from their wives to meet friends, and tell men to do female tasks to show true love will not be seen in heaven?
@Dave: “How about simply telling her, before you marry her, that once you are married, you expect her to have sex with you at any time, anywhere, and anyhow you want, provided God’s laws are not broken, and both of you are healthy enough to do so?”
You mean, you expect her to follow the commands of St. Paul in 1 Co 7?
You are such an ABUSER! /sarc
In the past such an agreement was UNDERSTOOD to be part of the marriage covenant. Nowadays CHURCHES teach completely different. Culture tells women something completely different.
As for your “agreement” from women to adhere to this rule: history shows that sex is usually great until you have given her a child, then suddenly it changes. History shows that suddenly there are a lot of better reasons why such an “agreement” is suddenly not applicable anymore according to her.
I would advise anyone considering marriage to be really careful in selecting a wife; her willingness to be obedient to God and to you, combined with church attendance in a church with traditional values might prevent such kind of misbehavior. I do not know of such a church. Who does?
Or even better, don’t get married. No need to sweat bullets for years or even decades wondering if she’s going to fuck you over with her real husband, the state.
Which the cunt can revoke anytime she feels like it and destroy your life on her little whim. Nah, I won’t sign a contract that makes me a bitch’s slave.
@Dota
This arrangement has merit, but I’m not sure how it would work out on a society wide scale. It sounds like an interesting experiment though.
The ubiquity of Internet porn gives us an idea of how this would play out. That shows, on the whole, Western women can’t even stand the idea of their beta bucks masturbating to porn. They wouldn’t tolerate more widespread prostitution.
But looking at prostitutes, they can provide sex consistently to strange men, with minimal or no complaint and feign realistic enthusiasm. Yet women have so much trouble providing consistent sex to their husbands. And most willing, uncoerced prostitutes suffer little or no lasting psychological harm, yet I’ve seen women complain on feminist forums that forcing themselves to provide “comfort sex” for their husbands has caused them lasting trauma.
There must be some mechanism in a women’s subconscious calculating whether or not she’s receiving adequate compensation, in tingles or resources, each time she provides sex to a man. If the calculation fails, she’ll feel like she’s being “used for sex”. Sex with an alpha? Yes. Sex with a paying customer if she’s a prostitute? Yes. Sex with a beta who’s promising marriage? Maybe. Sex with her beta husband after the honeymoon tingles have worn off? No.
I’m shocked at the Evangelical church’s obsession with dating and marriage advice. Over the past 10 plus years of attending my current Catholic church, the priests only offered marriage advice maybe once every two years. And one time was a denunciation of gay marriage.
From what I see on this blog, Evangelical pastors sound more like dating coaches and marriage counselors than pastors.
I attended Good Friday services yesterday. The sermon was about 1. Why is it Good Friday instead of Bad Friday, 2. Why was Jesus crucified, and 3. In what ways does the Gospel of John (read on Good Friday) differ from the synoptic Gospels (one of which is read on Palm Sunday).
Both priests in my church are Nigerian immigrants. One is over 80 years old. (He officially “retired” several years ago, but is still working.) So they’re not much attuned to modern American culture.
The congregants are heavily Latino, both recently immigrants and first generation. So it’s a fairly conservative church, at least theologically.
Off topic, but, I found an interesting article:
View at Medium.com
Jason, the only think I “know” about dancing is from the movie, Shall We Dance?
Have you seen it? Does it in any way reflect the reality of dancing culture?
I also saw the Japanese version of the film. Any comments on that?
feministhater: we all grew up wanting a family, to carry on like our parents before us and to live our lives in the mists of a family that cares about us and wants what is best for us. … Alas, my friend, there was a time for that and I think it has passed.
Not only on a personal level, but also on a societal level.
I keep waiting for sanity to set in. Gay marriage. Women military and police. Women with tattoos and pink hair, assaulting men who dare not punch back. Antifa. Trannies. Muslim refugees flooding Europe, raping women and children, and if you publicly complain you risk prosecution for racism.
I keep waiting for a sane society to push back, but nothing. The culture only gets worse. Who can find a good woman, or build an intact family, in this evil and insane culture?
I too wanted a loving wife to grow old with. Now I only seek to live out my life, in as much peace and comfort as I can find, avoiding contact with the growing police state and its insane denizens.
There must be some mechanism in a women’s subconscious calculating whether or not she’s receiving adequate compensation, in tingles or resources, each time she provides sex to a man.
I never thought of it that way, but I think you’re right. Women subconsciously expect compensation for providing sex. Why should a wife provide her husband with sex? Love? Absolutely not. Dalrock is right, modern women are ugly on the inside because they are very stingy with affection. It’s amazing when you think about it – men are expected to provide women with material resources which require a lot of effort to gather, whereas what men want from women (loyalty/love/respect) is within them.
@Dota
yup the count
our youth pastor taught us that the more diapers ,cooking and cleaning you did the more sex
he also taught us that expecting stuff done in porn ( code for BJ’s more than one position etc)
was a sin and unrealistic…
his wife never worked
his wife stayed at home
the moment he came home from work ( he was also studying night school full time)
he would take over everything- she went on facebook
when there were guests, he would never sit down and talk , always being domestic.
night duty was all his
I never met such a selfish woman and such a wimp man
I guess he really wanted sex
She left out the ONE sure-fire aphrodesiac:
-Watch a Rom Com with her.
If Sheila can offer nothing better than “a competing mishmash of ideas”, then she really shouldn’t be getting paid gigs.
Seriously, who is paying Sheila to turn up and talk about, essentially nothing?
Sheila looks like a good solution because Churchian Culture is so feminized that even clueless is better than completely out of the park. At best, modern churchians know and understand there is something wrong, since their youth disappear, their ranks are only filled by foreigners (who take their faith far more seriously than ethnic whites, particularly women) ,marriage rates and births are dropping and talk is far more intellectualised than practical.
I’m not going to say the well-worn cliche of a “return to biblical Christianity” will make things right. That is true, but there is deep division on what biblical is and isn’t. Perhaps the whole model is wrong – that of paid clergy and a separate building as meeting place for instance. Only then, with a pastor freed of the need to have paying parishioners, can he successfully take on “Christian Men need Game because Feminism is in the Church”.
Dave,
“How about simply telling her, before you marry her, that once you are married, you expect her to have sex with you at any time, anywhere, and anyhow you want, provided God’s laws are not broken, and both of you are healthy enough to do so? That under no circumstances do you expect sex to be rationed to you as a married couple—even if you have a fight, a quarrel, or a disagreement? That you expect disagreements to be resolved, sometimes through sex?”
This is good advice. Before a man gets engaged he should put his cards on the table and tell the woman what his expectations are.
The lesbian chaplain is offended at this entire post,because she has her girlfriend.
I’m offended because I use my left hand.
Women don’t want a man?
Quit trying to give it to them.
what is the best way to rebut this new “male service” argument that basically eliminates male authority and distinction between men and women?
I don’t know the “best” way, but I would say that it’s wrong because it steals from a wife her opportunity to serve God.
Eph 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.
Bee “How about simply telling her, before you marry her, that once you are married, you expect her to have sex with you at any time, anywhere, and anyhow you want, provided God’s laws are not broken, and both of you are healthy enough to do so?
Ah, there’s the rub. Once you allow for any exception, you’ve opened the door to any and every excuse. Modern women can twist the slightest exception into anything they want it to be.
Provided God’s laws are not broken? But God wants Daughters of the King to be happy. It is God’s law. If sex makes a woman unhappy, it violates God’s law to demand sex from her.
Provided both of you are healthy? But what if the woman is suffering emotionally? (Because you’re abusing her.) If she’s emotionally unhealthy, can she really be healthy for sex.
Your exceptions are reasonable if reasonably interpreted. But women do not interpret Scripture, or much else, reasonably.
Sorry, I think my mouse is flaking out, entering the post before I finished. I was adding another very popular verse
Micah 6:8 He has shown you, O man, what is good;
And what does the Lord require of you
But to do justly,
To love mercy,
And to walk humbly with your God?
So why are modern churches so determined to steer women away from walking humbly w/ God, by doing what He commanded: submit to their own husbands?
@DrTorch
right
I wish there was a concrete method to rebut them
for millennia Christian wives were expected to support their husbands and even had distinct tasks
now it all seems like the husband has to do whatever the wife expects
I ballroom danced for 2 years. What I learned is weman want to go backwards blindly spinning and twirling out of control. But at the same time being led and under control of her male partner. When you first start to learn it’s kinda like your manhandling a woman but if she can’t feel your frame she will be lost on the floor bumping into other couples and hitting the wall. Frame is everything. She does every thing you do on the dance floor except she goes backwards and reverse. It’s almost like falling for her. It takes a lot of trust on her part and lot of frame and experience on the males. I have often wondered why a man would go watch a stripper dance on a pole when a man can be the pole she dances against
RPL……only saw the Japanese version of “Shall We Dance” which had some downright hilarious scenes. I have never “competed” because well……you have to have a partner.
I did do a dance-a-thon once in San Francisco at one of our soul nights to raise money for prostate cancer research. Not the same thing……that was tiring. Good cause, but I really didn’t enjoy myself that night……
I suppose there is some truth in it…but like all movies like this……probably mostly fiction. Any movie like this starring Richard Gere immediately lowers the expectations for me (RomCom more than likely).
Look, don’t be fooled. Don’t learn dancing to meet women. Learn it for you. You’ll enjoy it more. If you are a man in my situation who can’t get a date to save his life….save your money, you’ll be sitting “waiting” for a partner that never is gonna show up
Keith. Same thing in hard soul dancing with a woman. Her step is the opposite of yours, or supposed to be. I’ve only met a few women who can actually hard soul step and fast dance properly with a partner. Most just happen to be black in my experience.
Gregoire’s hunny-doo list for men is actually a pretty good list for wives
That was a very good write up.
American Man Has A Problem Affording His Young Thai Fiancé. She says, “If You Don’t Take Care Of Me Then Just Say Bye.” LOL.
http://worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshh3M39bSe8t88tLiRy
Why do these people always resemble disgusting lesbians?
@ Patrick
Do you mean Sheila, or her husband?
@ RedPill Latecomer:
From what I see on this blog, Evangelical pastors sound more like dating coaches and marriage counselors than pastors.
I don’t know how it is with my Roman Catholic brothers and sisters, but for us Prots the proliferation of dating advice from Prot “ministries” and from Prot pastors has a very practical reason. Prot churches are full of young single women constantly bellyaching that they can’t find decent Christian men for dating and marriage. Christian blogs are populated by young and not-so-young women constantly complaining that men aren’t presenting themselves for their evaluation for dating and marriage.
Men don’t ask them out. Men aren’t growing up. Men aren’t doing what they’re supposed to be doing. Men aren’t stepping up and manning up and taking care of the reformed sluts who’ve come back to church and are “Godly women” now. Men aren’t doing this or that or the other thing the women in church expect them to do.
And the pastors, being mostly men, mostly beta/omega men who have been thoroughly steeped in “woman is more moral/better than man, woman is goddess who is to be worshiped and obeyed, woman is always right, give woman whatever she wants because her female status entitles her to it” and who well understand that the wives and women control the vast majority of the church’s membership and tithe income, bow and scrape to the women.
The women say “those men aren’t doing what we want/need!” The pastors come up with various false doctrines to tell the men “do what the women want/need! The Bible commands it! See, it says so right here…. Well, here’s my interpretation of what I think it should say!”
Site related:
https://pjmedia.com/faith/can-men-women-friends/
Seventyiesjason. I danced for myself it’s part of game. If you want to hit a woman at the ballroom studio you bring a bar girl with you. If you want bang a bar chick you bring a girl from the dance club to the bar. A woman never wants you she just doesn’t want that other bitch to have you. I competed in Atlanta and won 1st place in 8 out of 12 heats. All in smooth and few Latin. I’m no good at the rest.
Seventiesjason. Don’t confuse what I say about female dance with Rollos emotional Roller coaster writing. Their is a big difference between (all eyes on me) I’m the center of the show. And (I’m free and out of control on the dance floor ) and a whole society set up to cater to a females need for ups and downs thrills in safe and controlled by white knight protections
Wow, this is big news. And it’s at the church Bilezikian co-founded
http://www.christianitytoday.com/news/2018/march/bill-hybels-misconduct-willow-creek-john-nancy-ortberg.html
While this can happen anywhere, maybe using men and women as interchangeable parts of the church increases the possibility? Or increases the perception anyway (since it’s all hearsay against Hybels at this point).
Sigh……dancing isn’t a part of “game”
If anything…….it could be said “game” is a part of dancing. Dancing, has been around long, long, long before people started talking “game”
Even the era of dance I am into. It’s a way to shake off the week, life and other issues. It has nothing to do with control of women or leading them. It’s an art form like jazz, ballet, and tap.
All of this seems like a foreign language to me. In my marriage it’s simple. He wants it he gets it. Period. That’s how we’ve always operated.
Then again my mom’s marriage advice to me was this, “I know you can’t imagine this now but at some point you will want to refuse him because you’re being lazy. Don’t do that. You’ll regret it.”
And……..for all this talk of people practicing, mastering Game, and bedding only nines and tens, dating woman all the time (but look at their current girlfriend…..maybe just average…..maybe) few. Very few. Super few advocates of Game and people who practice it can dance, have no inclination to learn, and truth be told…..most think its a “gay” thing. Dancing is not a part of Game. I dance. Have danced and will continue to do so until I cannot…..it never gave me Game.
@Jason, or Keith, have either of you danced outside of the US, or in a very ethnic sub-culture?? I’m just curious if the issues you’ve both noted are unique to the feminist West, or if they’re somewhat universal.
I like to go out to the bar, to be out amongst the people, to have a couple drinks, and to dance to the music, not so as to signal my prowess in bed, or to try and pick up women though supposedly it can be good for those things. I just like moving to the music. I really should spend some time learning some of the more defined styles of dance versus so called modern dance.
anon
First…anyone who gets on a dance floor in a modern sense to move, I personally give nod. When folks (men and women) compliment me on my dancing, and then they say “Well, I can’t dance”
I tell them, you just made the first step. Getting out on the floor. Are you having a good time tonight? You are. Step two. You enjoy this. I once was a beginner, and I practiced at home because there was really nothing to do….and I really just liked old school soul and R&B. That’s how it started. I had zero intent of “meeting women” it was a solo thing. Just me and the music.
I know a few hip-hop steps, the basics buts its not my style. I like what I like. I would like to get better at pairs dancing……but you know……the breaks………I know the basics of classic ballroom, leading and all. Swing I’m good at….but again its more of a partner dance style.
Lessons? That’s your own call. I personally avoid them.
I’ve never had a 9 or a 10. And no just danced American ball room. Never been out of country. Dance is just part of a mans social circles. Dance studio , poker game circles , golf game circles , hunting club circles , church social circles. I never overlap a group unless I need too. The game gets played if you play it or not. But it’s part of life
Here we go….okay…I’ll bite, again. So when you play it…and you lose…….what then? Who made the rules (women did). Who deemed it *as such* (women did). Who determines if you win (women do). Who spends most of the time hemming and hawwing over what it is, isn’t and how its played……….the ironic thing here is men do.
It’s a part of life? A sad part for most men who will never, never be able to fit, master and play. At least with dance you get good. At least with in other social means there is room for improvemtn. With game….your looks fade, and all you have is how cool you were back when you were 25
Game over
@feministhater,
This is delusional as it is naive….
I totally understand your point of view. But my experiences have been different though. Maybe this had something to do with the cadre of women I courted. I was brought up in a very conservative religious background, and the women I dated generally had similar backgrounds.
I agree women could act crazy, and American women often hold PhDs in crazy behaviors. But if one chooses carefully, and lays all the cards on the table before commitments are made on either side, there is a higher chance of weeding out the psychotic ones.
I firmly believe that normal, rational and feminine women, who are eager to have a successful marriages, and who genuinely want their husbands to be happy, are still available in America.
Even when Elijah accused Israel before God, saying he was the only righteous man in the land at the time, God corrected him that there were thousands actually, who were just as righteous.
America has not reached the level of Israel’s backsliding, I want to believe.
@Jason, I agree with you and think more people should quit worrying about what everyone else thinks. There used to be this one bar with a pretty big dance floor near where I live, and on most Friday and Saturday nights there was this skinny, white-haired, biker looking guy who would be out there on the dance floor with a big smile on his face, just having a good time. He wasn’t creeping on girls, or trying to prove anything. He was just enjoying life.
I always said I want to be like that guy.
In so many areas of life anon…….there is such a pecking order. At work. At church. With women. Everywhere and everything. In school. Out and about. A place where people are supposed to be having a good time…………..a dance floor…………….with no expectations, gracious me….most of us here in Fresno are two paychecks away from being straight-up homeless. You bet your life I am gonna forget out there. You bet I am going to be supportive and friendly to anyone. In a world where there is such *intimidation* and *inferiority* that people will make you aware of just because they can for their own infaltion of their already over-inflated egos……..
You know…..I saw Christian speaker “Chuck Swindol” at a prayer breakfast once in Fresno, and his christian-lite stances at times are bothersome……………but he made a really solid comment:
You know, most people can walk into a no name bar….get service. share laughs. have some friendly conversations with the other patrons….get a polite ear from the bartender, and go home.
Sadly in church today that isn’t happening. Heck, look at the singles scene in the modern church. Nobody dates. Fewer and fewer are marrying. Really sad state of affiars……….everyone paralyzed about offending someone, or not looking just perfect enough for the body. (shakes head) this is a problem we won’t face, and then we’ll sit around still and talk about the fallen world. Makes you wonder!”
Seventiesjason. I get what your saying but I just think every man has 2 things to work on desirability or provisioning Most question you get from married men is how to make more money. Cause they got desirability in the bag most questions you get from single guys is how to be more desirable cause they got provisioning handled. But a man should not stop working on himself either way. There is always a burden. Their is always something to work on. The game never ends.
At least in my experience…the Catholic church for the most part sticks with the Gospel and makes it about Jesus. To this point I haven’t ever heard a priest tell us in a homily we are to worship and obey women or that women are moral and men are not (we are all sinners). Marriage is seen as a sacrament…1 of 7 but isn’t regarded as the most important sacrament for Catholics (the Eucharist is).
For all the accusations that we worship Mary (which is not true we venerate her)…when the clergy talks about her role there’s the point that she leads us to her Son. Many a times they point out her last recorded words in Scripture…’Do whatever He tells you’.
sounds more like a rate race than a game Keith.
*rat race
Red Pill Latecomer,
“Your exceptions are reasonable if reasonably interpreted. But women do not interpret Scripture, or much else, reasonably.”
Life is full of risk. Getting married involves risk, staying single involves some risk. Going to work on Monday involves some risk, staying home in bed is also risky. One night on the local news I saw a woman killed in her own home in her own bed because a small plane crashed through her roof!
What Dave and I have shared is good advice. It can reduce the risk of a bad marriage but it can not give you a guarantee. Game and vetting can increase the odds you have a good marriage but I never said it was a 100% guarantee. Enter at your own risk
Dalrock, thought you’d get another laugh at this denial of feminism.
https://mobile.nytimes.com/2018/03/31/opinion/god-jordan-peterson.html?rref=collection%2Fcolumn%2Fross-douthat&action=click&contentCollection=opinion®ion=stream&module=stream_unit&version=latest&contentPlacement=1&pgtype=collection
Pingback: A Rare Bird Indeed | Spawny's Space
Off-topic but Dalrock-related
https://mobile.nytimes.com/2018/03/31/opinion/sunday/easter-passover-god-women.html?action=click&module=MoreInSection&pgtype=Article®ion=Footer&contentCollection=Opinion
imnobodyoo From the NY Times:
“It’s a disgrace to humanity that for millenniums we’ve placed a divine stamp on discrimination against women, insisting that inequity is actually sacred. But just as religion was initially used to justify slavery but later to inspire abolitionists, faith is now evolving from a rationale for suppressing women to a means for empowering them.”
It is official, I’m a disgrace to humanity, the New York Times says so.
God says that all souls are equally able to inherit His divine grace, but in this life we have been given different roles and responsibilities and authorities, not to mention being created quite differently, so not everything is exactly equal here in this segment of life.
Mark 10:31 But many that are first shall be last; and the last first.
I suppose it will be a combination of just judgement, and unearned grace, that determines our position in the next life. So it would behoove us all to have humility, be forgiving of others, and give them grace ourselves so that we do not hinder ourselves from receiving God’s favor.
Yeah men just have it easy…we don’t have to eat by the sweat of our brow or go back to dust. Oh wait we bit that apple too.
That’s what their husband is for…
For God is not a God of disorder, but of peace. As in all the congregations of the saints, women are to be silent in the churches. They are not permitted to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says. If they wish to inquire about something, they are to ask their own husbands at home; for it is dishonorable for a woman to speak in the church.
bdash 77: so these Christians are actually satanic?
feeriker: By their words and actions (i.e., preaching and demanding the practice of egalitarianism, which corrupts/inverts God’s assigned roles for the sexes) they are serving Satan’s agenda.
I agree with feeriker on what he said. They are Satan’s tools to the extent that they do not teach God’s word faithfully. They are trying to serve two masters, God, and whatever they are seeking to serve when they don’t teach God’s word faithfully. You can hear wisdom and foolishness, truth and lies, sound doctrine and heresy, all in the same message. You really have to search the scriptures and guard your heart and mind, diligently seek out the truth, and always consider the source, and their agenda and fruit. Nobody understands God like he knows us. His ways are too high for us to fully comprehend, so it is best to just accept God at his word, regardless of what society’s expert fools think.
I never thought of it that way, but I think you’re right. Women subconsciously expect compensation for providing sex. Why should a wife provide her husband with sex? Love? Absolutely not. Dalrock is right, modern women are ugly on the inside because they are very stingy with affection.
Women have always been like that, if Redpill theory is correct. They have little conscious control over it. With western marriage, a woman gains all the benefits of marriage whether she provides sex or not. So unless she wants a baby, or her husband can generate genuine (alpha) desire in her, her subconscious tells her not to provide sex and she loses desire for him. Logically she may know that marriage should mean she should have sex with her husband, but feelings override logic. She can rationalize this, or she can be unhappy about it, but that is how she feels.
OPUS…..OPUS!
Arriving in London. June 5, 2019. Flying back the USA on June 23rd 2019. I have a ton to do until then. I will be staying in London 6-12. In Manchester 12-17. In Wales 18-22. Flying back to USA out of London on the 23rd (Heathrow)
If Christ has not returned, and you feel up to it…….meet me in London at the W Hotel. I’ll buy you a drink. I plan to book my rooms there by September.
Planing to shop for records. shop for record. thrift for cool Brit threads. See Canarby Street. Visit Abbey Road…….see the changing of the guard thing…..go to a Northern Soul all nighter….shop for records………visit my drunk uncle, aunt in Cardiff…….visit my cousin in Manchester. Visit my other cousin in Kent. Shop for records. Shop for records.
I sold a bunch of my IBM stock for this trip.
@earl
”For all the accusations that we worship Mary (which is not true we venerate her)…”
Alphonse Ligori is especially guilty of that accusation. His hymnbook is one of the most blasphemous tracts I have ever read. That’s all I will say on this subject.
It this creepy?
https://losangeles.craigslist.org/sfv/wrg/d/christian-community-potential/6545872767.html
An alleged pastor seeks a live-in Christian blogger, female preferred.
@Sharkly:
in this life we have been given different roles and responsibilities and authorities, not to mention being created quite differently, so not everything is exactly equal here in this segment of life.
Absolutely. We may even add that, in the life to come, we shall not be equal. Some 12 folks will “sit on thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel” (Matthew 19:28); some will receive rewards for their life work (1 Cor 3:14), while some will see their labors go up in smoke, and receive no rewards (1 Cor 3:15).
God never created any 2 people to be equal. He is not a God of equality, but of hierarchies.
Even some kids, who were not yet born, were deliberately created to be unequal by God (Romans 9:11). It is God who “maketh thee to differ from another” (1 Cor 4:7).
Those who insist on male-female equality, or individual equality, or ethnic equality, etc, are either ignorant, misinformed, deceptive and dishonest, or downright satanic. There is not a single verse of Scripture, or even a hint throughout Scripture, where God indicated that he wanted, or created humans, to be “equal” (whatever “equality” means).
What God has always been concerned about is JUSTICE, never “equality”. God wants each person to “receive their rewards according to their works shall be” (Revelations 22:12), not “every man according to his need” that socialism advocates. God prefers “those who would not work shall not eat”. (2 Thessalonians 2:10).
Because JUSTICE could be harsh and cold, God added MERCY, to mitigate the most harsh effects of JUSTICE, but never to replace it.
It’s a shocker you’re still alone, Jason. Complete mystery.
The idea of “equality” was satanic, right since Adam’s days, when the serpent told Eve she could be “equal” with God by refusing to stay within the limitations which God placed on her and her husband (Genesis 3:5).
They may exist. I don’t think so. However, even if it is so, they are in high demand so best be the best of the best as that is what it will take to keep them hooked. And even then, all it takes is one call to the cops. All it takes is her deciding no more sex as you have no leverage in the marriage as a husband, the wife has it all, from a legal stand point to within the church setting.
It is delusional to think that merely telling her of your belief system before hand will weed out all incompatible partners. It will to an extent, sure, granted, the radical feminist ones won’t be able to keep themselves in check and will give themselves away, easily discarded. The more sly ones will nod and agree with you whilst laying the trap, the more honest ones will nod and agree, thinking 100% to themselves that they will keep to their promise and then twenty years down the line, make up all sorts of excuses and accusations as to why they don’t have to keep it and, in fact, it’s you, the husband, that is truly at fault as you forced them into that position to begin with. Suddenly your ultimatum to them becomes coercion and the courts will hammer you for it.
It’s delusional because time and time again, the courts, the family system, the justice system, the church all continue to provide a slew of reasons as to why women cannot be negotiated with fairly. They do not do so in good faith and everybody covers for them when they renege and then renegotiate the arrangement, not with you, no siree, but with the government, guys with guns, ready and able to shoot you should you step out of line and not agree to the new arrangement of you being a utility wallet.
It’s delusional to think such ways as all the evidence provided by this blog and others shows the willful disregard of men in society. To believe women can be believed and negotiated with in good faith in the current year whilst 100 years of feminist herstory shows the exact opposite to be true is pure naivete. Women did not step-up, they simply demanded more and more and more.
The few women that truly ‘get it’ cannot and will not do what it takes to set things right and still require you to be the best of the best to earn their favour anyway. I used to believe there might be one special lady out there for me but that belief was destroyed ages ago.
@Jason
Deo volenti I will be there: May I recommend that a good place for vinyl is (or certainly was) Camden – check out its market and lock – stroll along The Regnt’s Canal. If you are still with them you will also want to visit the HQ (a mini concrete sky-scraper) of The Salvation Army at Elephant and Castle as well as their glass-offices just to the south of St Paul’s. Get your copy of The War Cry for twenty new pence (4/- in old money) – it is entirely different to the American edition.
Let me be the first to write ‘he is risen’. I foresee an upcoming message from Novaseeker.
I foresee an upcoming message from Novaseeker.
One week to go still for me — but Happy Easter to all my Western Christian brothers!
Honestly on first scan I read: Shiela Gregoire at Autistic Manhood……
Off-topic, but great reading — an article about life for girls at the peak of girl’s Game: party-marry-kids-divorce-independence. When marriage was all good options for women, before the counter-revolution.
“How Nashville Became One Big Bachelorette Party”
https://www.buzzfeed.com/annehelenpetersen/how-nashville-became-one-big-bachelorette-party
“The easiest way to identify a bachelorette party is by their matching T-shirts, emblazoned with Nashville-inflected slogans in twee calligraphy (“When I Sip You Sip We Sip”; “BOOTS and BOOZE and THE BRIDE”). The attendees — bridesmaids, friends, moms, sisters-in-law, anyone who’s affiliated with the bride and willing to throw down for a weekend — wear identical tees in black or bright colors. The bride’s, of course, is white.”
Opus,
He is risen indeed!
Larry
Read that whole article about “girls on the loose” parties and the like in Nashville.
I remember being in Austin in the late 1990’s on a business trip with IBM (Nerd Bird, San Jose to Austin and Austin to San Jose).
I remember cool shops, fun bars and tons and tons of single women traveling in packs in party buses…….on trolleys…..and they were all “having a week” in Austin because their very, very, very best friedn was getting married.
Saw on many occasions the “bride to be” herself making out with a “Tex” at the bar (study country boy)…….notice now that Austin is unaffordable. Notice now that Austin has the most expensive zip codes in Texas. These women do come and put roots down. My question is who are the men they are marrying? Every woman isn’t landing a aerospace engineer….and even if she did…..most of these overdone women don’t (as a rule) date or marry a man like this……
I guess I just wasn’t made for these time
That nashville article just confirms my core test of women and society.
NAWALT is bullshit. So what if 1 woman is not like that?
The true question is TAWILT
The Average Woman IS Like That.
Who cares about the exception.
A fan of Dalrock spreading the red pill knowledge:
https://fabiusmaximus.com/2018/03/31/red-pill-knowledge-in-the-gender-wars/
@feministhater,
They may exist. I don’t think so. However, even if it is so, they are in high demand so best be the best of the best as that is what it will take to keep them hooked. And even then, all it takes is one call to the cops. All it takes is her deciding no more sex as you have no leverage in the marriage as a husband, the wife has it all, from a legal stand point to within the church setting.
Please don’t be such a downer. Hundreds of thousands of men in this country (probably millions of men) are married and enjoying their marriages. Even right here in this forum, there are great families, with great wives, who are also awesome moms to the kids.
Though I understand what you meant, there is no need to be overly dramatic about it.
“He that seeketh findeth” is as true of finding potentially great wives as it is true of many other things. If all you expect to find is Sussie Ballbuster, she’s all you’re gonna find. “As you believe, so shall it be unto you” is a popular law of faith.
My job regularly takes me to rural America, and I often meet absolutely feminine women who are devoted to their families, and speak quite respectfully of their husbands and in-laws. Maybe you should leave the big cities every once in a while; America is not all messed up as the liberals would have us think.
Yeah, you can believe that, I stopped long ago. We’re just going to disagree on this. All these great wives and feminine women just waiting in the mists for gents like us, eh? Not a darn chance.
The risk is what I can about. The laws have changed. The punishment for failure increased to detrimental levels. I ain’t interested in that with your silly ‘country girls’ bullshit.
Hundreds of thousands of men have been through the meat grinder and completely and utterly destroyed and led to commit suicide because no one cares. Where were those women, eh? Those feminine women standing up for marriage during first, second and third wave feminism? Enjoying its benefits no doubt.
Either women get out there and demand change if they care so much about men or your screed is bullshit. So… go out to the countryside again and get those fabulous women to do something. Got your finger on their pulse anyway.
I don’t live in America by the way. And the laws are the same here too, no matter where you go, women have turned the laws in their favour and they ain’t going to do a thing about it.
Just keep searching, just keep searching. Arrrghh! As if that has never been said before…
All that effort and all it takes is one failure, just one and you’re done. Lol!
Dalrock, you might want to do a piece on this: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/apr/01/i-had-an-affair-with-my-husband-but-he-has-now-betrayed-me-mariella-frostrup
A married women sleeps with her best friend’s husband. Then this lover dumps the married woman. So the married woman …
1. Feels betrayed by her lover.
2. Worries that she “sort of” betrayed her best friend.
3. NO MENTION is made of her betrayal of her own husband. It was an unhappy marriage, so no guilt there, apparently.
The psychobabbler who offers advice likewise berates the lover, gently chastises the woman for betraying her friend, and ignores the betrayal of the husband, like it’s no deal.
Once again, the article is a goldmine of Red Pill Truths. Lots of money quotes revealing the sordid state of the modern female mind.
I have been in an unhappy, loveless marriage for a long time. As a result of this, a couple of years ago I had an affair with a friend’s husband. I had always felt there was a connection between us and after one drunken night we had the courage to explore if there was anything more. He told me he loved me and that I was his soulmate. But he claimed that his marriage was a happy one and that he also loved his wife.
A connection? Soulmates? WTF.
I didn’t enter this relationship with the intention of stealing him, I just wanted to see where it would lead, but I fell harder than I imagined.
WTF. She sleeps with a married man not to “steal” him but “only to see where it would lead.” Seriously — WTF!
I know I am in the wrong for having gone down this path, but is he more wrong than me? I would have left my husband for him. I went the extra mile because he kept feeding me lies and I believed them.
Oh, poor baby. Yes, she’s the real victim. Not her husband. If only her lover had not lied, then she would have left her husband. And that’s … good?
I have met many, many Godly Christian women. The issue lies here:
The ones my age are already married, and have been or they are WAY too young for me to even be pursing…..the last woman I did ask out was a single mom, a few years younger than me……she had repented. I saw her actions. She actually casually said to me once over Wednesday evening coffee before Holiness “I was a really bad girl. Bad, bad choices……I’m not her anymore.”
Well, I asked her out with a time, a date, a place. I had known her for over a year in a church setting.
“She just didn’t feel a spark”
I handled it well. I thought we were cool. She told the Officer that I made her “uncomfortable”. When Iw as gently confronted by this I was more in shock than anything else. When she declined. I left her alone. Just a friendly hello…..a nod. Officer instructed me to “not ask out any women until I was confident that God wanted that” the usual “It’s His timing” and at the same time……”men, man up and ask women out”
Just confusing.
He expected you to be in direct contact with God and for God to give you a command to ask out a woman? Man I would have loved to be involved in a conversation like that!
I’m using that excuse in future. God has just not commanded me to ask out a woman. I’m sure he will, any day now..
@ Redpill
A woman commits a capital offense and 1) has no shame but brags about it and 2) thinks she is the victim because her unfaithful lover was unfaithful to her unfaithfulness?
This is why the remedy for adultery was stoning for both the whore and the wife-thief.
It bordered on the absurd FH…….then again, many of my fellow female Soldiers here in my Corps really don’t drive one mad with desire either. Some would make a good wife……..true…..I have quietly observed, problem is they all are waiting for some really top tier man to walk in, get saved, take the Soldiers Covenant, don the Uniform and marry them……”just for who they are”
What kind of man does our fine Army attarct at the lower ranks (former addicts, thieves, junkies, alcoholics, troublemakers and ruffians) not the type of man…..no matter how much he has turned it around would be good enough………….for these “saintly” daughters of the King most high (praise Him btw)
Not putting it down. There has to be a place where men like myself could get back on their feet.
As far as I’m concerned, these ‘rules’ are additional reasons for men to NEVER marry (possibly not even interact with) today’s over-indulged, over-entitled, tyrannical females; they have nothing to offer a decent man, while they have plenty of excuses to do so.
Invest in cat food and cat toy companies.
@feministhater: It’s delusional because time and time again, the courts, the family system, the justice system, the church all continue to provide a slew of reasons as to why women cannot be negotiated with fairly. They do not do so in good faith and everybody covers for them when they renege and then renegotiate the arrangement, not with you, no siree, but with the government, guys with guns, ready and able to shoot you should you step out of line and not agree to the new arrangement of you being a utility wallet.
I really do not know the numbers, but I think this is fairly accurate for a large number of societies. As a Christian what bothers me most is the role of the Church. Yes I know the world will never (fully) honor God’s commands, but at least if you have a spouse who will be sincerely following the Lord, at least you could trust they would not USE their rights to involve the government. And in case she WOULD consider such action, you could “tell the Church” along Matthew 18 guidelines. That would not prevent all damage, but at least most. Unfortunately, churches are not only abandoning men in marriage by fully supporting divorce and remarriage, in case of marital dispute, they will refuse to take sides with husbands when they ask for help for their disobedient and disrespectful wives.
For me the following text has become a prophetic warning not just to couples, but to churches:
Hb 13:4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
“Marriage should be honored by all”
Churches should the firsts to start honoring marriages again:
– by defining it as strictly between man and woman
– by forbidding sex outside marriage
– by forbidding divorces
– by forbidding remarriage after divorce (“serial polygamy”)
– by teaching about headship and submission
– by teaching about sexual duty in marriage
See what will happen with male attendance if churches start to implement this.
@novaseeker. Happy Easter look forward to your input in the future. You take lent serous !
Happy Easter all. Christ is resurrected from the dead.
I’ve made the ‘joke’ at work to tell my coworkers to invest in cat food and winery stocks.
I think we’ve seen the more freedom women get, the more they kill the goose that laid the golden egg.
‘BBC trying to be Sarcastic, Ends up being relevant. (Feminism)’
“You know, most people can walk into a no name bar….get service. share laughs. have some friendly conversations with the other patrons….get a polite ear from the bartender, and go home.
“Sadly in church today that isn’t happening. Heck, look at the singles scene in the modern church. Nobody dates. Fewer and fewer are marrying. Really sad state of affiars……….everyone paralyzed about offending someone, or not looking just perfect enough for the body. (shakes head) this is a problem we won’t face, and then we’ll sit around still and talk about the fallen world. Makes you wonder!”
Yup. I noticed tbis years ago. I, as a Christian man, could walk into any dingy, sleazy bar full of lost, broken souls and be neck-deep in conversation within five minutes and probably learn a perfect stranger’s whole life story within an hour.
Yet even if I spend a couple of years regularly attending any given “church,” I could, despite my best efforts to connect and get involved, go those two years without ever getting to really know a single soul.* Pathetic.
(*I once had a Christian, a former member of a criminal biker gang, tell me that he found it easier to join a gang than to connect with a typical church. I didn’t doubt him for a second.)
‘See what will happen with male attendance if churches start to implement this.’
I like your list, it would be challenging to most people. I would hope most men would like a challenge and that would be something attractive to them.
Males would have to understand that they can’t rationalize the sins of the flesh…especially lust.
So you’d also have to include porn, looking at women with lust, jerking off, etc. I have unfortunately seen these things rationalized in the sphere. Even to an extent fornication as well…(wimminz are doing it so I might as well get some too).
The issue we have today is there is way too much rationalization or flat out encouragement of sexual immorality. That goes for both sexes. To even challenge some sexual immorality you may prefer causes people to melt down. If we dug into what chastity actually entails…it may be an attractive virtue for men to pursue.
Feeriker,
This is what I have noticed as well. But I think the main reason why this is the case is the “age” of the people attending church. If it is full of old people (and when I mean old, I mean less than 10 years away from being with God), they are not likely to be all the interested in “sharing” their lives. At least that is what I have seen. I have been to dozens of churched in my day, dozens and dozens, and not one of them have been populated by young people.
earl,
Sorry earl, but there is nothing (not one word) in the Bible that speaks out against jerking off. If that is sin, then so are nocturnal emissions. And if you don’t jerk off (pretty regularly) you are going to have wet sticky sheets every few days. And that would make you a sinner. Go all one way or go the other.
Please quote book, chapter, and verse where God says Thou shalt NOT touch thy own penis. And if you can’t (and I know you can’t) and you still cling to the irrational belief that jerking off is a sin (it is not) then basically what you are saying is that you are a PROPHET. If so, tell me the winning powerball tickets, prophet.
I think Rollo has said and I agree that one of the MeToo goals is to make guys that aren’t in that top 10-20% terrified to approach women. Harassment suits will skyrocket while there will be more “Why doesn’t a good man (ie Brad Pitt) ask me out?” articles.
kinda OT but I found this
the secular world clearly knew that complementarianism is really feminism
Devon……well said…something I was trying to convey a few weeks back to a friend….but you stated very clearly. I agree with you…and in California the standard is ste, coming to your state very soon!
Happy Easter. Christ is risen!
You do know the difference between something that is involuntary and willingly doing something to acheive a certain purpose? That’s the difference.
You are stimulating your sexual organs to have a release when masturbating. When you are asleep, you aren’t going asleep so that it happens…it just does.
It’s in the same arena as trying to equate miscarriage with abortion.
I think Rollo has said and I agree that one of the MeToo goals is to make guys that aren’t in that top 10-20% terrified to approach women.
I’m not sure if I qualify as top 10-20%, now, but, I would think all men would be less inclined to want to put themselves at risk. Considering that the risk is real, huge, and hard to dispel. How do you prove that you didn’t make somebody uncomfortable a few years back?
If you can turn women against men, and men against each other, and deny men respect and civility in society, I think you can gradually turn men into self serving cowards more concerned with their own protection than trying to provide for and protect a bunch of insolent, ungrateful, and amoral women who want to steal their seed, and then steal their property and future income. If there is no recognition, respect, or reward for putting yourself at risk to start a family, only a few religious martyrs and those duped by the clever will want to risk dating and marriage.
And I know why that Scripture question gets asked becuase you know there isn’t a specific one.
There isn’t a Scripture passage that says you should inject herion into your veins either…not everything is beneficial. Does masturbating lead you closer to God, does it affect your spirtual, mental, emotional status postively or negatively? Did God make the sexual function for you to use alone whenever you wanted a hit of pleasure?
2532 ‘By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. “Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action.” “The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of “the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved.’
http://www.vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p3s2c2a6.htm
I think Rollo has said and I agree that one of the MeToo goals is to make guys that aren’t in that top 10-20% terrified to approach women. Harassment suits will skyrocket while there will be more “Why doesn’t a good man (ie Brad Pitt) ask me out?” articles.
And while it will suck hard root to be in that 80 percent of men, the payoff for them will be in eventually realizing that it will be approximately 90 percent of all women wwho will be the ones to suffer and pay the price for their shortsighted, narcissistic stupidity.
Interesting……the top 20% of men honestly don’t care. I am talking the real top 20%. The guys who have no problem sealing the deal from getting a number, flirting to anything else. Those men just don’t care. They will always have some sort of female attention and attraction. Men who could stop traffic on the corner of Turk and Broderick in SF at 3AM…..those types of guys.
I have seen and watched this while being flabbergasted for decades now……a woman, if she deems the guy *hot* or whatever……doesn’t matter if he has five children by different women…….they don’t care if he has a jail record…he’s paying attention to her NOW and he’s *hot* she will change him. She can do it. She can do anything. She rationalizes excuses for him “well, we can’t judge” or “people can change” and “that was then”
Also I notice women do this to show other women of “look what *I* got”
There will be some future cases where that top 20% guy will take a fall for the rest of the team…….look at the financial crisis back in 2008 / 2009. Bernie Medoff took the fall for just about ALL who were responsible. He was one of many, “the spin the bottle and let’s find someone to blame” just happened to stop at him. There were PLENTY of others who were responsible…..PLENTY. LOTS. The wagons circled, and they all knew someone was going to have to take the hit. It was him.
You’ll see that in the future concerning this issue.
Most men for some crazy reason also think that they are in the top 20% and we all know better don’t we? 😉
Maybe when men begin to fight back against the stupid #MeToo movement, where an accuser is taken through the wringer with prejudice, some of these tyrants will come to their senses.
The lawsuits don’t even have to be won by these men; the process is the punishment. Force the false accusers to spend some hard earned cash to defend themselves in court—to prove their unprovable case of “He glanced at my thigh 20 years ago, and I felt eye-raped”.
Conor, a musician who was accused of rape, forced his accuser to recant her story, and issue a public apology. He was ready to take her through the wringer, so she owned up. I see more men doing something similar in the coming years.
innocentbystanderboston says:
April 1, 2018 at 6:58 pm
Age of the congregation, IME, hasn’t really been a factor in the churchian “standoffishness” problem. It may be a uniquely North American phenomenon, but it seems, also IME, to affect churches of all denominations, age ranges, and ethnicities. I think it’s both a direct reflection of American society (i.e., fractured, rootless, and self-centered) and, directly related to that, the fact the “churches” today are sand and darkness rather than salt and light. Plus, churchians are just plain lazy. Forging connections among members requires effort (albeit quite minimal), meaning that no one is interested in doing it. “The Great Commission” just takes too much work.
I think Rollo has said and I agree that one of the MeToo goals is to make guys that aren’t in that top 10-20% terrified to approach women. Harassment suits will skyrocket while there will be more “Why doesn’t a good man (ie Brad Pitt) ask me out?” articles.
You are giving them waaaaaaay too much credit if you think they are this calculated and systematic.
Among the #MeToo casualties were Top 10-20% men like Charlie Rose or Bill O’Reilly or whatever. Their fame made them Top 1% even if they were old, let alone the lower bar of Top 10-20%.
#MeToo is just hysterical screeching by women who want attention. There is no calculated strategy at all.
Plus, VR Sex is just a couple of years away from being a better experience for most men than the bottom 80-90% of women. So this outcome will be by choice rather than by fear generated from #MeToo.
You are giving them (MeToo) waaaaaaay too much credit if you think they are this calculated and systematic.
Like all really great evil, I’m sure the devil is actively involved and trying to guide things according to his purposes. And like most of the devil’s schemes it starts out with some grain of truth.
Harvey Weinstein surely did deserve to be exposed. I’m sure there at millions of real douche bags out there who have handled women inappropriately. The problem comes when there is no insistence on truth and justice, and it ends up that all men stand accused. And they claim that no man is due….due process. Division is a tool of the devil. (and SJW)
earl,
There was no heroin 2000, 3000, 4000, 5000, or even 6000 years ago. There has always been masturbation. It is actually pretty unhealthy for a man not to “empty” his prostate regularly. That might exacerbate prostate cancer Earl.
Nocturnal emissions or regular sex with your wife, dude. Do you think God doesn’t know how the male body operates?
It is actually pretty unhealthy for a man not to “empty” his prostate regularly. <b<That might exacerbate prostate cancer Earl.
Urban legend.
Maybe that is why the Roman Catholic priests tend to have lots and lots of prostate cancers compared to the general population?
Please let’s keep to science, not some self-serving and baseless claims.
As far back as 2004, a link between frequency of ejaculation and prostate cancer was conclusively ruled out.
Then, as recently as 2016, a review of many studies reached a similar conclusion: no definite relationship exists between masturbation and prostate cancer.
To claim otherwise is junk science.
This can essentially be said about every vice there is. Drinking alcohol, smoking a cigar, going on holiday, eating a sweet, driving a fast car, enjoying a movie, day dreaming, etc….
Nocturnal emissions are quite painful for me.
Who knows what Catholic priests do behind closed doors.
Ick. Even with Dalrock’s subtext, this creeped me out.
I remember back in 1992? 1993? A bunch of women got Senator Bob Packwood to resign for things he may have said or may have did to women thirty years prior. At the time I was upset that these accusors were taken for word and didn’t even have to face him. Even in Biblical times…..when someone was stoned to death. The accusor had to be there and throw stones after judment or sentencing.
How about I just say ..
NO.
If God wants a woman to have children he can impregnate her himself.
If a woman wants physical pleasure.. there are devices for that.
If she wants money.. work for it.
If she wants to be loved for eternity.. become a martyr for the faith.
But don’t think for one moment I intend to be involved.
Quite a few men have already done this. Even by taking women who falsely accuse to court they rarely, if ever, receive any noticeable punishment that would ripple its way down to the rank and file feminists to get them to rethink and stop. To do so would be to admit that women lie all to often and that false accusations are really ‘a thing’ and not some 1-2% of cases but rather closer to 50% or even more than that.
To admit that we have a system that now puts innocent men behind bars. That tarnishes men’s reputations before they can even defend themselves, often with dire consequences for the men and their families, that drives men to suicide with no support from friends, family or the ‘justice system’ and leaves them broken with no means of rebuilding their lives, to do so would be too much.
#metoo removed any and all sympathy I had for women. They threw down, an act of war it would be called if any other party in this world had done this, and so it is then. One must defend themselves.
Scott,
I agree. The intent and context is the point, not the precise clothes.
Jason,
I don’t keep posting all my situation here, in spite of the urge to do so quite a few times (very tough to process all this).
I have bumped heads with many here and will continue to do so in the future. I learn to say what I have to say and let it lie, perhaps a bit too slowly, but I skip a lot of time here and only jump into some conversations late, so it tends to be more at the end of some threads.
A good example of someone I sometimes agree with, yet often don’t, is FeministHater. I just learn to ignore post by him (at times) and skim by. I also do that with someone who talks about books a lot….
bdash77,
Salvation is a question that deserves deeper evaluation than the surface level most give it. Though keep in mind that all Israelis went out of Egypt in the Exodus, but very few of those who did went into the promised land. They rebelled, especially when it came time to really put their trust in God and they paid the price for it.
The NT talks about making it to heaven with all one’s works being burned. That is the likely end to those who actively preach such foolishness in spite of their inward translation.
I got a picture of my exwife and 2 other ladies smiling at what appeared to be a church service over the weekend. Either she was boasting or accidentally sent it to me. She is much less attractive to me and has likely been boozing it up quite a bit since her face has plumped out quite a bit. It did more to kill underlying attraction for her than even the betrayal and other idiotic things she has done.
I am sure she gets a lot of support at her church (in another city and state), which is another reason I am becoming far more skeptical of many programs helping single mothers. Many people are just deceived.
Dota,
They still may not completely realize their own triggers, but the key element is that they would not want to admit was is obvious since it would overthrow a lot of their underlying worldview.
And they will say it was your jock roommates fault they were so exploited. We should have trained him not to exploit them after all, right?
I should note that I haven’t argued much with FH recently and makes some good points in this discussion, though with his normal view. Much interaction comes to learning how different people act (such as those who post here). That lets you know what to expect and you can seek any relevant wisdom while ignoring the issues that would likely just create an argument.
“I remember back in 1992? 1993? A bunch of women got Senator Bob Packwood to resign for things he may have said or may have did to women thirty years prior. At the time I was upset that these accusors were taken for word and didn’t even have to face him. Even in Biblical times…..when someone was stoned to death. The accusor had to be there and throw stones after judment or sentencing.”
Fast forward to late 2017 and Roy Moore’s accusers. Same tactics, same result (well, lost election instead of a resignation, but still).
“As far back as 2004, a link between frequency of ejaculation and prostate cancer was conclusively ruled out.
Then, as recently as 2016, a review of many studies reached a similar conclusion: no definite relationship exists between masturbation and prostate cancer.
To claim otherwise is junk science.”
100% true, but the pron fappers will justify their habits any way they can .
https://www.t-nation.com/opinion/go-fund-yourself
Whores to the left of us, whores to the right.
BTW, Dalrock, Wilson gets a shot in at you today, here:
https://dougwils.com/books-and-culture/books/dalrockian-and-disoriented.html
Happy Easter! But, CNN has the real meaning of Easter. It’s the first #MeToo movement!
https://www.cnn.com/2018/03/30/world/easter-metoo-jesus/index.html
Also everyone’s most beloved former priest Dominic Crossan says that Paul never said wives should submit to their husbands. Those women-hating ideas were written by an imposter.
@Hmm
It’s fun that he conflates the biblical position of headship with a vague and undefined made up requirment to be a gentleman.
bdash77,
Certainly true for some, but keep in mind that almost any group of Christians will excommunicate those that don’t agree with them. Read up on The Reformation a bit for many unfortunate examples. (John Calvin was very intolerant with those who disagreed with him.)
We definitely need to stand for truth and noting that some will not get what they expect is fine, but it is not good to put ourselves in God’s place and declare specific people are going to hell because of any specific item. This is a deeper discussion however and not really the topic of this blog, so I will try not to argue it, but I post this to stir up in some a little more humility.
RPL,
I can’t recall a sermon on dating advice. I have heard many complaining about what men don’t do while praising women, but that is a different topic.
Jason,
I am not a game expert, but I would expect dancing would mesh well with game. You also seem to be confused thinking game started recently. It started after The Fall and continues on. Women respond to different things and act specific ways, regardless of the specific society and age. Some are better at suppressing things, but the core facts remain.
You also seem to be overly focused on 9s and 10s. I have never claimed that, nor have I seen most (any?) do that here. PUA and similar sites may, but that is their flaw.
Hmm:
I skimmed Wilson’s piece. It’s pretty much as Dalrock said: Wilson is saying “I didn’t say the things I clearly said.”
Earl,
The problem is that the things men do get bashed so much and what women to get so ignored that the sins of women need a little quality and quantity time.
Also note that the Biblical outlet for sex is denied for many/most men. That means that women are at fault for all these sins as much as women are. Paul even noted that when he wrote about not withholding sex except for a limited period of prayer and fasting, lest you be tempted. That means the temptation and response to it is not just the fault of men. Not allowing the proper outlet almost guarantees sin. That is another reason why those who teach that a woman should control/ration sex are so immoral, however holy they claim to be.
@DC: “Also everyone’s most beloved former priest Dominic Crossan says that Paul never said wives should submit to their husbands. Those women-hating ideas were written by an imposter.”
Ah! So he agrees that the meaning of the text is that wives should submit to their husbands!
Now we only need some proof of Crossan who the imposter was that changed the text of Paul.
That same imposter also implied that the Church should submit to Christ! How dare the women-hating forger!
That should have read “women are at fault for all these sins as much as men are”
earl, truthfully, there are already so many different sins, you don’t need to go and create NEW ONES (that don’t exist.) And I don’t care what the Vatican has to say on this matter. They have ZERO AUTHORITY to determine what is and is not sin if it is not in the Bible. Zero. Comprende?
If you don’t buy the physical health argument about the prostate, so be it. Seems perfectly logical and reasonable to me. And don’t ever erect another strawman like you did when you linked masturbation to being similar to abortion. You do that and people stop listening to you. YMMV.
innocentbystanderboston says: “And don’t ever erect another strawman like you did when you linked masturbation to being similar to abortion.”
The only similarity Earl was pointing out was that each of these two voluntary acts has an involuntary counterpart physical phenomenon. It’s bad reasoning to argue (as the so-called ‘Christian’ left does) that because God allows miscarriages to occur, therefore deliberate abortion is moral. It is the same exact reasoning to argue that because nocturnal emissions occur, therefore masturbation is moral. Does nobody here understand argument by analogy anymore?
Pingback: This Week In Reaction (2018/04/01) - Social Matter
Lots of examples in literature of men creeping out their wives, and getting suitability punished. There have always been women like today’s feminists — they are just a far higher proportion of the population now.
A commenter, Ray, at the FM website gave a great example: “Madame Bovary” by Gustave Flaubert (1856). Her beta husband loves and indulges her. The pastors Dalrock cites would applaud his behavior. In return she despises him and has affairs with men who treat her badly. He is, of course, blinded by love and remains clueless.
Spoiler: this ends badly for her.
Pingback: Essential advice from a feminist conservative pastor!
Pingback: Miscellany 12: Miscellany Theories: Neo-Classical vs. Post-Modern – Neurotoxin